Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 6.29.15

MONDAY NIGHT RAW 6.29.15

OFFICIAL RESULTS
~ Big Show defeated Mark Henry @ 1:20 via pin [NR]
~ Non-Title Match: Champion Ryback defeated The Miz @ 4:55 via count out [**]
~ Paige defeated Alicia Fox @ 9:33 via pin [**¾]
~ US Title Match: Cesaro defeated Champion John Cena @ 20:13 via DQ [****]
~ Lucha Dragons & The Prime Time Players vs. New Day and Bo Dallas @ 14:30 via pin [**½]
~ Sheamus defeated Neville @ 12:41 via pin [**½]
~ King Barrett defeated Jack Swagger @ 1:45 via pin [NR]
~ Rollins and Kane defeated Ambrose and Reigns @ 11:47 via pin [**¾]

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* Quick promotional note. On Sunday, Pwponderings.com is going to produce a 12-hour podcast marathon. They raised over $1200 for RAINN and promised to podcast one hour for every $100 they raised. The 12-hours will feature the PwPonderings crew and gests discussing ROH, Tier 1, Women’s Wrestling and a gigantic mid-year review in the final two hours (that’s when I will be on) and more. You will be able to listen to the shows on Sunday from 11AM to 11PM ET at this link.

JAMIE NOBLE IS BACK BOY… oh and the Authority talks again…: Rollins, J&J and Kane came to the ring to start the show. Rollins did the big bragging celebration for beating down Lesnar last week, noting that he did what Cena and even the Undertaker couldn’t do. He then put over Noble, noting that the Slammy for most inspirational moment was locked up since Noble is already back. Rollins had gifts, and gave them all new Apple watches. PRODUCT PLACEMENT! Can you get the Network on those things? He then had an extra gift for Kane, a Hawaiian vacation! Kane said that this was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him, he’s always wanted to sit in the beach and consider throwing someone into a volcano. Kane was funny there. Rollins then had a new gift for J&J, since they were using a rental car; he got them A NEW CAR; some amazing product placement tonight. Jesus this has turned into the Price is Right, but at least Mercury’s reaction was worth it. I wonder how long it takes for that car to get destroyed tonight. Some humorous moments, I may have actually enjoyed it if we didn’t see a segment involving some form of these guys start the show every week. Rollins is having some good performances on the mic as far as getting his douchey character across.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry: Because this company lacks any continuity and basic creative writing skills even with 25 writers, Mark Henry is a face because it serves the purpose here. Yes they set it up last week, but Henry’s character has consisted of “strong former world champion” since his return. Miz is on commentary. Henry controlled early and hit his big splash, but Show said fuck off and kicked out. The KO shot ended it quickly, so this match was exactly what it should have been. Ryback ran in for a brief skirmish with Show, and sent him packing. The Miz did a hit and run boot to the face and ran away as Ryback informed us that they’d be facing off tonight and that he wanted it next. This was solid stuff all around.

Non-Title Match: Champion Ryback vs. The Miz: From a flow standpoint, I appreciate how they booked these segments to connect to each other. It makes the show easier to watch when you can connect multiple segments. I am not a fan of Ryback and Miz facing here, as I really wish that both Show and Miz would have been booked in matches to get them wins and make them look good. They did that with Show; there is no need for the PPV participants to have so much interaction other than laziness in writing and the fact that they have no faith that the audience has any sort of attention span. Miz tried to run, but Ryback cut him off and worked him over before hitting a REALLY delayed vertical suplex. Miz played the little weasel well, getting the heat with some basic heel antics. It was fine, Ryback made his comeback and Miz ran away for the count out. I am fine with this, the match was nothing special, but Miz gives you no reason to like him and they didn’t beat either guy here.

Paige vs. Alicia Fox: The Bellas are out with Alicia, since they are totes besties now. JBL did an awesome job of making Paige completely unlikable on commentary, good work JBL. It’s one thing to discuss the story of the others not trusting Paige, but JBL basically made her sound like the worst person in the world. They had some back and forth, and when Fox ran to the floor Paige followed and was cornered by the Bellas. That distraction led to Fox attacking as we went to the break. Post break Fox had the heat on Paige; they had some good energy and really worked well together. The homestretch was good and Paige countered a roll up into one of her own to pick up the win.

* John Cena then made his entrance to set up the next segment as we went to commercial. They are working hard to make the segments flow better into each the next tonight. I appreciate this.

* End hour one.

John Cena Open Challenge: Cena was in the ring, and then KEVIN OWENS accepted the open challenge!?! Ok then. Owens was just a big old troll, and said he wasn’t accepting the challenge. He then introduced Cena’s opponent… Cesaro. Owens joined commentary for the match and made sure to hype his match on July 4th with Balor, which is appreciated. With all of these matches, we know Cena is going to win since he has a match set with Owens; the key is getting the people to care and to get invested. Owens was great on commentary here, mixing his attitude in with putting over Cena. They worked through the commercial and came back to Cesaro getting a near fall. Cena tried to work into his comeback, but Cesaro cut him off. It’s the little things like that I greatly appreciate to break up the common match stuff. They did some really good things, and proved once again that they have some great chemistry. I really wish these guys could get a 20-minute, completely balls to the wall PPV match some day, although this was really excellent. Cesaro had a sweet escape from the STF into the sharp shooter, nicely done there. Cena connected with his slow motion Yoshi Tonic, but Cesaro would then hit the neutralizer for another near fall. He got the sharp shooter again, and Owens was having nothing of this and hit the ring for the DQ and hit the pop up powerbomb on both men. Owens wants to be the guy that takes the title, noting that he wants to beat the best to become the champion and was annoyed by Cole, insinuating that the match may have been as good if not better than Owens’ match against Cena. They did a great job of making the crowd care, and for a guy who hasn’t been doing much due to Kidd’s injury; the crowd was into Cesaro and even bought some of the near falls. This was a tremendous effort by both men, and I didn’t even mind the DQ since it advances the story and also protects the great performance of Cesaro. Now do not forget about it come this time next week.

* Bray Wyatt cut a promo; apparently IRS is a bad father because he didn’t like Bray the best and tossed him aside. Everyone deserves what Reigns has more than Reigns does; he then said that they are opposites that need each other like yin and yang. “Run”.

Lucha Dragons & The Prime Time Players vs. New Day and Bo Dallas: This is the old Smackdown rematch of the week. They worked a really uninspired first five minutes before going to the commercial break when Young dumped Dallas on the apron. So of course when we came back from the break, team New Day had the heat. You. This was an overly long version of their Smackdown match, with solid work but a crowd that really wasn’t all that into it until the final minute or so. Titus picked up the pin on Kofi to get his team the win. The PTP winning is perfectly fine, since they are he champions. On Thursday I wrote, “We already have seen New Day lose a lot when they don’t have the advantage, that’s the narrative and it’s fine, but Dallas was in there and doing exactly nothing and should have lost here.” I still feel the same way here; if New Day isn’t going to pick up wins, let the job guy LOSE.

* End hour two.

Dolph Ziggler, Lana & Their Lack of Chemistry Came to The Ring: Ziggler and Lana came to the ring to act out a scene from Junior High, with Ziggler discussing making out with a smoking hot babe and Lana that they are officially “more than friends”. They bumblefucked around and giggled like kids in sex education class when the teacher says “penis and breasts” too many times until Rusev and Summer came out. This felt like the time you started dating you’re friends ex, and then your friend finds one of your exes and “accidentally runs into you” at your favorite restaurant. Rusev did the whole, “I’m moving on thing and found someone better”. Ziggler then challenged a one legged man to an ass kicking contest, which as we all know isn’t very sporting. This led to Rusev backing off. Summer ran down Lana for leaving Rusev, calling her a phony before slapping her. We then got the predictable catfight. So this was complete shit; can’t wait for those mixed tags around the loop. The show was moving along pretty well until that brought it to a screeching halt.

* Dean Ambrose told Roman Reigns to stop being a pussy.

* What have I learned tonight? Reigns and Ambrose have better chemistry than Lana/Ziggler and Rusev/Summer combined.

The Guy That Does The Red Arrow vs. Sheamus: They worked for two-minutes and then went to the break. Much like the eight man tag, this felt like a long match for the sake of having a long match. While I appreciate matches getting time, getting time doesn’t equal quality. The work was perfectly fine, but I had trouble getting into it and the crowd felt dead the entire time. Sheamus kicked Neville off the ropes as he went for the red arrow, and then hit a brogue kick for the win. Sheamus winning makes sense, so there’s that. This was fine, but went too long.

Jack Swagger Still Has a Job vs. King Barrett: Barrett said from no won all opponents had to bow down to him. Swagger refused. Swagger controlled for 90-seconds and then ate the bull hammer to give Barrett the win. The good news was that Barrett won, and this was the right use of Swagger at this time. The bad news was that it was pretty much nothing. If you’re going that short then just have Barrett mow him down so it means something.

No DQ Match: Rollins and Kane vs. Ambrose and Reigns: J&J drove their car into the arena, making it easier to destroy. This went through the commercial, and they continued to work tornado rules since this was no DQ. Mercury got involved late and got beat down by Reigns and his kendo stick. Reigns ran wild late, Wyatt predictably got involved and attacked Reigns and beat him down at ringside. Wyatt laid out Reigns, leaving Ambrose to fight for himself. He tried to fight them off, but ate a chokeslam and pedigree and that was that. The action was fun, but predictable, but they advanced Wyatt vs. Reigns. Post match they set up a table in the corner, which looked to be bad news for Ambrose, but Reigns made the save. Unfortunately for him it didn’t last long as Kane hit a chokeslam. Reigns fought back again as they tried to beat him down, but the numbers game was too much and he ate another chokeslam. Rollins then powerbombed Reigns through the table in the corner. Rollins would then hit a pedigree, and The Authority stands tall. Wyatt would then return to the ring, hit Sister Abigail and pose over Reigns.

* End scene.

* Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

6.3

The final score: review Average

The 411

This was a mixed bag of a show, but was certainly better than last week’s effort. I liked a lot of the first two hours; it wasn’t great (well Cena vs. Cesaro was) but they did some good things. I like dhow they skipped a bunch of the useless backstage stuff and did a lot of smooth transitions from segment to segment; it gave the show a nice flow and felt easier to watch. The other thing was that most of the right people are winning, and actually gaining some momentum. There’s still a lot of work to do with a lot of the talent, but it’s a step in the right direction. Hour three was where things fell off the cliff a bit. The Ziggler/Lana/Rusev/Summer Rae segment was the drizzling shits and killed the momentum of the show. The Sheamus vs. Neville and Barrett vs. Swagger matches coming after that really did the show no favors, due to the crowd being out of it and those matches didn’t give them a reason to care. The ending match and beat down was fine, but is also feeling really clichéd at this point.

I’d call this week an above average effort, but make sure to watch Cena vs. Cesaro (and pay attention to Owens on the mic), they killed it.