The TNA Slammiversary 2008 Breakdown

TNA Slammiversary 2008 by J.D. Dunn June 8, 2008 Live from Memphis, Tenn. Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Don West. Opening Match, X-Division Title: Petey Williams (w/Rhaka Khan & Scott Steiner) vs. Kaz. Petey is wearing a facemask to protect his orbital bone. They go with the usual series of quick reversals. Both guys go for their finishers, and both guys slip out. Kaz knocks Williams to the floor and follows him out, but Rhaka Khan gets in his face. That distracts Kaz long enough for Petey to hit a slingshot headscissors. Back in, Kaz O’Connor Rolls Petey for two, but Williams slingshots into a huracanrana. Kaz backflips over Williams’ back and hits a dropkick. Petey misses a charge, and Kaz DDTs him for two. They work in that spot where Kaz tries to yank Petey off the ropes, but Petey flips up. Petey hits a Cradle DDT for two and goes up. Kaz catches him with a high kick. Kaz goes up for the Flux Capacitor, but Petey snaps his arm off the top rope. Petey sets up for the Flux Capacitor, but Kaz reverses to the Inverted Tombstone. Rhaka Khan hops in the ring, so Kaz just dropkicks her. The ref stops to check on her, so Petey gets the lead pipe from Steiner and smashes Kaz’s brains in. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Kaz is busted open pretty good. Petey calls for the Canadian Destroyer, but Kaz reverses to a rollup. Petey stays on top with the Sharpshooter, but Kaz powers out – complete with bloody Austin scream. I appreciate the love of the classics, but the opening match isn’t the best place for that. Kaz only gets two off the Wave of the Future, and Petey is able to roll through a sunset flip into the Canadian Destroyer for the win at 15:14. Nice fast-paced opener. Thankfully, the interference didn’t ruin the match. ***1/4 Steiner, Khan and Petey threaten to destroy Kaz so he can’t take advantage of his title shot. Abyss makes his return to TNA, though, and makes the save for Kaz. Abyss is now wearing a tidy white uniform, making him look like Nailz if he drove an ice cream truck. Eric Young announces that “The King” Elvis Presley is on his way. He even has a seat reserved for him. If he didn’t show up for Jerry Glanville, why would he show up for Eric? Kevin Nash says, at the end of the day, it’s all about the money. Hmm. Samoa Joe is just an investment for him. The Beautiful People & Moose vs. Gail Kim, ODB & Roxxi Laveaux. Sky and Love bail out, leaving Moose alone with the babyfaces. They pinball her around and hit corner charges. Sky and Love try to walk out, but the faces chase them down. Roxxi pummels Moose. I should point out that Moose still has her trunks on that read “Mickie.” Moose finally overpowers her, and the Beautiful People isolate Roxxi. Moose gets two off a TKO. Velvet applies an Octopus and bites Roxxi’s hand. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. Roxxi tosses her aside and tags in Gail. Gail cleans house until Angelina trips her up and slams her injured knee on the apron. Velvet and Angelina go to work on Gail’s knee. Angelina locks in the Half-Crab, but Gail makes the ropes. Moose tries a Horse Collar, but Gail gets to the ropes again. Gail slugs her way back and tags in ODB. ODB cleans house and sprays Moose with the WILD TURKEY MIST! I believe that causes the victim to see people as more attractive than they actually are. The powerslam finishes Moose at 10:20. This was not bad. It felt a bit rushed, though, even at 10+. Moose dropping her first match wasn’t bright, but maybe it will lead to the Beautiful People bringing in someone who actually matches up with the group a little better. ** Rhino talks about forgiving Christian and conquering his issues. TNA World Tag Titles: LAX (w/Salinas & Hector Guerrero) vs. Team 3D. D-Von and Hernandez try to overpower one another as West completely spaces out the 275-pound rule and doesn’t know what Tenay is talking about when he tries to correct him. Extended feeling-out process until Hernandez gets a tag and dropkicks both 3D members to the floor and hits his over-the-top tope. Homicide goes up, but D-Von shoves him into the guardrail. Homicide plays face-in-peril. Homicide desperately crawls to a tag, but the ref doesn’t see it. Finally, Hernandez gets the real hot tag. He hits D-Von with the stalling suplex. Hector keeps Johnny Devine from interfering as Homicide returns the favor from earlier by shoving D-Von off the top. Salinas and Hernandez team up for the Que Pasa Drop. LAX hits the Doomsday Gringo Cutter on D-Von. It only gets two. Homicide’s rolling Homicida misses, and he takes himself out of the match. Ray goes low on Hernandez, and Team 3D set up for the 3D. Homicide sneaks in and schoolboys Ray for the win at 15:51. Team 3D can sleepwalk through a tag formula match (and often do), but every time they’re put in there with one of these younger teams, it just exposes how much more energy the young guys. Time to find something new for 3D to do. **1/2 Awesome Kong’s $25,000 Challenge: Awesome Kong (w/Raisha Saed) vs. Serena Deeb. Serena Deeb and Josie answer the challenge, but Kong picks Serena. Funny setup as Serena talks about her MMA training, but during the match she resorts to the usual chick-fighting stuff. Kong shrugs her off, takes her to the floor, and gives her the old Friday the 13th: The New Blood sleeping bag move into the railing. Back in, the Implant Buster finishes Deeb off at 2:27. 3/4* Awesome Kong (w/Raisha Saed) vs. Josie. Hometown girl Josie still wants a piece and slaps Kong in the face. Well now that can’t be good. Kong pretty much mauls her and powerbombs her for the win around two minutes in. * Eric Young comes out and says he’s found Elvis. It turns out it’s Younger, Thinner Elvis. Kong isn’t impressed. Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to Kong, cuz he straight out racist. That sucka was simple and plain. MUTHAFUCK HIM AND JOHN WAYNE! Kong powerbombs Elvis back to hell and leaves him lying. Recap of the Lethal/Val engagement. A Match Made in Heaven II: Your guests are Kamala, Jake “the Snake” Roberts, Koko B. Ware, Frankie and George Steele. They run through the vows until Sonjay Dutt puts an end to it. He Freudian slips and says he’s been in love with her since he looked in her “lies.” Dutt begs her to marry him instead. Lethal obviously doesn’t care for that, so he gets in his face about it. Dutt waits for him to turn his back and then jumps him with part of the lattice decoration for the wedding. The legends make the save, and Sonjay runs away to avoid whatever Jake’s new snake is. Geez, talk about screwing up a can’t miss proposition. They have Sonjay turn heel and immediately get his comeuppance, not at the hands of Lethal, but by four old guys. The whole idea of doing an angle where one guy turns on the other is to have the babyface go through a long journey to get his revenge while the arrogant heel throws obstacles in his way. How am I supposed to root for Sonjay to get his ass kicked when I just saw him as Koko B. Ware’s bitch? Big disconnect in the storytelling there. Kurt Angle (w/Tomko) vs. AJ Styles. AJ uses his quickness to overcome Angle’s wrestling prowess, hitting a headscissors and his drop-down dropkick. Angle posts himself on a missed charge, and AJ hits his springboard forearm. Finally, Angle hits a reverse elbow. Tomko tries to get involved and gets tossed by Earl Hebner. AJ uses the distraction to hit Angle with a flying somersault plancha. Back in, Angle takes over with clubbing forearms and grounds AJ. AJ seems to have cut open his lip. Kurt gets two off a backbreaker and glares at Hebner for counting slow. They take it up top where Kurt sets up for a superplex. Instead, AJ counters to a super facebuster for the double KO spot. They slug it out, and AJ hits a pump-handle gutbuster for two. Angle grabs him for ROLLING GERMANS, but AJ reverses to a Full-Rotation German. AJ misses a swing, and Kurt gives him the Full-Rotation German. AJ tries a Stinger Splash, but Kurt catches him and belly-to-bellies him into the turnbuckle. Kurt blocks the Styles Clash and reverses to the Anklelock. AJ rolls through to reverse and hits his Quebrada DDT for two. Angle goes back to the Anklelock, but AJ rolls him up for two. The Pélé gets two more, but Angle grabs another Anklelock. AJ shoves Angle into the ref and headscissors him to the floor. Karen Angle brings a chair down to the ring. Angle tries to take the chair from her, but she won’t let him have it. AJ sneaks in, rolls Kurt over and turns it into the Styles Clash at 22:47. Karen and AJ celebrate together, so Angle jumps them and puts AJ in the anklelock. Tomko returns and prevents anyone from helping AJ out. They did their best to deal with Angle’s injuries, but the match was still slow and sluggish in points. AJ just seems to fit this role much better, though. Not the classic that it might have been if they were both healthy. ***1/2 Lauren asks Samoa Joe if he’s trying to make a difference now that he’s the champion. Great. Now he’s Fatu. TNA World Heavyweight Title, King of the Mountain: Samoa Joe vs. Robert Roode vs. Booker T vs. Christian Cage vs. Rhino. Kevin Nash is the special guest enforcer. Joe and Booker go at it immediately. Christian lands awkwardly on his knee, leaving Booker and Rhino to go at it in the ring. Booker gets two off a back kick. Rhino avoids the Scissors Kick and clotheslines Booker out. Roode breaks up a Joe vs. Rhino sequence, but it turns out that Christian was just faking and jumps Roode. Joe starts powerslamming people left and right. Booker pulls him to the floor and hits the Bookend on Rhino for the pin at 7:42. Booker grabs the ladder, but Joe tries to take it away from him. Christian dropkicks the ladder into both of them. Roode, Rhino and Booker all get into a brawl on the outside, so Joe hits his corkscrew plancha onto all of them. Christian follows them all out with a dive off the penalty box. Christian picks up the ladder, but Roode smashes it back in his face with the chair. That gets the pin at 12:27, making Roode eligible. Rhino schoolboys Roode for the pin at 12:58. Roode refuses to go to the penalty box, so Nash beats him up and tosses him in. Joe and Booker go at it, and Joe avoids the Scissors Kick. COQUINA CLUTCH! Cage goes up again and hits a frogsplash onto both guys. Cool. He pins Booker at 14:57 to become eligible. Roode keeps him from going up, though. Joe backdrops Roode off and hits an Ace Crusher on Christian. Rhino Gores Joe to keep him ineligible. Booker gets out of the box and lays everyone (including Nash) out with the belt. Booker goes up, but Nash recovers and yanks him down. Rhino spears Christian through a table as Roode takes out Joe with the Northern Lariat. Joe catches Roode going up, hits the Muscle Buster, steals the belt and hangs it for the win at 19:59. Joe becomes the first person to retain his title in the KOTM match. They definitely seemed to set up Booker versus Joe (or possibly a tag match involving Nash). I’m all for that. The match itself didn’t have nearly the drama it could have with Joe desperately trying to get a fall somewhere so he could hang the belt. It looks like that’s what they were going for, but it felt a little rushed, even at 20:00. *** The 411: Three good matches and no bad matches is enough for a mild thumbs up here. It’s nothing to get excited about, but I didn’t yearn for my three hours back like I did last month. Angle versus AJ was a bit disappointing, and I hope Kurt can heal himself and come back for a *real* match with AJ because they are certainly capable of putting on something great together.