Views from the Hawke’s Nest: 2012 Chikara Matches Available for Free
Mike Quackenbush vs. Green Ant from Chikara’s The Thirteenth Hat 2012
Green Ant has lost to Quack twice (once in 2011 and once in 2010). However, Quack recently taught Green Ant a new variation of the Chikara Special.
They did a lot of trading holds at the beginning. The story was that Green Ant was closer to Quack’s level on the mat than their previous encounters. Quack almost caught him with a sleeper, but Green Ant escaped. Green Ant got a couple of leg locks, but Quack made the ropes. Green Ant went for another leg lock, but Quack reversed it into an armbreaker. It’s all mat work so far, but the crowd is totally invested. Quack started going to work on the legs of Green Ant. While they were mostly going for submissions, they also sneaked in some pinfalls attempts. Green Ant landed a hard kick out of nowhere, and he then again, locked in a series of submission attempts. Quack escaped and went for the Quacken Driver III, but Green Ant reversed it into his Chikara Special variation! QUACK TAPS OUT! Quack shakes his hand, and puts him over. The reaction from the crowd and Gavin/Bryce on commentary helped to make this feel very special.
A fantastic 10 minute opener for Chikara’s season premiere. I’ve already watched this match a half dozen times, and I appreciate it more after every viewing. This match put over Green Ant perfectly, and it’s somewhat disappointing that he wasn’t pushed to the moon for the rest of 2012. If Quack wanted to slow down to extend his career, I would be fine watching matches like this for a few more years.
Match Rating: ***1/2
3.0 (Shane Matthews & Scott Parker) vs. Brüderschaft des Kreuzes (Tim Donst & Jakob Hammermeier) from Chikara’s The Thirteenth Hat 2012
Jakob comes out to announce themselves. Tim has got a new leather jacket, and in general, he seems to be trying to look more rugged. Jakob had very little success early in the match. Donst finally just threw Jakob out of the ring and got the advantage for the BDK. Parker got worked over after that. Eventually, Jakob screwed up and Matthews made a hot tag and ran wild. I love Shane Matthews’s headscissors. Donst got tossed out of the ring, and Parker knocked out Jakob with a running knee, and then 3.0 hit the Sweet Taste of Professionalism: 1…2…3! 3.0 has two points!
This was an enjoyable match that accomplished two goals: 3.0 looks strong on their way (presumably) to a tag title shot, and the last of the BDK further disintegrates. As for the match, it was very short and not all that competitive. This match wasn’t as technically great as some Chikara tag matches, but I am a sucker for 3.0’s antics. As for the last of the BDK, I was glad to see that Donst looked to be carrying himself with a new edge. 2012 looks very bright for one Tim Donst.
Match Rating: **1/2
Grizzly Redwood vs. Orange Cassidy (w/ Chuck Taylor, Drew Gulak, & Swamp Monster) from Chikara’s Road to Ruin Fest 2012
Chikara had a number of matches filmed at the 2012 Road to Ruin Music & Wrestling Festival. Chuck Taylor’s webshow, The Gentleman’s Club filmed the match from this post. I highly suggest that you check out and support all of the Gentleman’s Club episodes.
Orange Cassidy had to be carried to the ring by Swamp Monster. Drew Gulak had a fantastic shirt on, and Taylor had a PBR tall boy with him. These are some great men. Everyone needs to book these men now. Cassidy looked comatose. Grizzly, with a much shaggier haircut than the last time I saw him, gave him a big lumberjack chop: 1…2…3!
Five Stars! Watch this episode. Watch all the Gentleman Club episodes. Support great professional wrestling like this!
The Throwbacks (Mr. Touchdown & Dasher Hatfield) vs. The Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama) from Chikara’s Hot Off the Griddle 2012
Pre-match promo: Mr. Touchdown, “Today, the sign said, ‘Long haired freaky people need not apply.” So many buys.
Touchdown had some trouble getting off his shoulder pads, and he did not appreciate Dasher helping him. Dasher had a lot of success against both members of the Batiri early. Dasher set up for a baseball slide, but Touchdown made a blind tag and hit an out of control dive off the apron. Dasher then hit his baseball slide. Touchdown then insisted on working the match and not tag in Dasher. The Batiri took control of the match, and Dasher apparently decided to sit on the guardrail instead of trying to convince Touchdown to tag out. Touchdown finally seemed to realize he needed to tag out, but Dasher refused to return to the apron. The crowd then chanted “Say you’re sorry!” The Batiri then used Dasher’s in the park homerun dropkick, which motivated Dasher to come back. Dasher made a hot tag and hit Kodama with a Jackhammer. Dasher hit Kodama with the Suicide Squeeze, but Obariyon made the save. Touchdown ate a spinebuster variation for a nearfall. Obariyon hit Dasher with spike DDT on the ring apron. That brutal move distracted referee Jon Barber enough that Touchdown was able to hit Kodama with his football helmet and get the win. Veronica came to ringside, and she was most pleased about the win.
This was a good match that I enjoyed, but more importantly, it progressed the Throwbacks’ storyline and characters in a very effective way. The ability to balance those two objectives really impressed me. This isn’t a MOTY or anything, but I think you will enjoy this match, even if you are not too familiar with Chikara.
Match Rating: **3/4
Saturyne vs. Kagetsu from Chikara’s The Ogg and I 2012
Kagetsu hit a dropkick early. Saturyne got in some offense, but Kagetsu was mostly in control of this match. Saturyne hit a jumping sole butt and a wheelbarrow bulldog. Kagetsu came back with a running knee in the corner and then locked in an arm submission. Saturyne refused to quit, so Kagetsu gave up on the submission and went back to beating down Saturyne. Saturyne managed to hit another jumping sole butt that sent Kagetsu to the floor. Saturyne then hit a plancha. Saturyne rolled Kagetsu back in the ring and hit a springboard cross-body: 1…2…NO! Kagetsu came back with an airplane spin and a Samoan drop: 1…2…3!
This match didn’t light the world on fire, but it was a fine exhibition match. Saturyne seems rather directionless at the moment, and her character isn’t really defined by anything other than that she respects Sara Del Rey. She is a great athlete though, and hopefully, her role will become clearer as time goes on.
Match Rating: **1/2
Colt Cabana & Mixed Martial Archie vs. The Throwbacks (Mr. Touchdown & Dasher Hatfield) from Chikara’s Chikarasaurus Rex 2012
This was a Loser Leaves Town match. The wrestler that ate the pinfall would be banned from Chikara for life. MMA was super over when he made his entrance. Sugar Dunkerton was on commentary, which was his return to Chikara after having not appeared since November 2011. MMA caught Dasher in a triangle choke, but Dasher made it to the ropes. At one point, MMA chased Touchdown to the entrance ramp. MMA was in control until Touchdown caught him with a big spinebuster. Back in the ring, Colt hit his Asai Moonsault on the Throwbacks. Colt actually almost botched that. Eventually, Colt got caught with a Throwbacks double team move, and and Throwbacks started to get the heat on Colt. MMA was nowhere to be seen after that spinebuster on the ramp. The Throwbacks dominated Colt for a while. At one point, Touchdown did the Gratuitous Backflip, and Colt then immediately took him down with a lariat. MMA was still nowhere to be seen. Out of nowhere, some marching band music hit, and Archibald Peck made his way to the ring!!! Archie ran wild! Archie went for the Cranial Crescendo, but Archie got distracted by the sudden presence of Veronica. Archie then went for the dive, but Touchdown caught him with an Ace Crusher: 1…2…NO! Colt then hit Touchdown with the Flying Asshole, and he then locked in the Billy Goat’s Cure. Dasher made the save and sent Colt into the crowd. The referee checked in on Colt. Veronica got in the ring and placed the baton in between Archie and Touchdown. They fought over the baton, but Dasher threw the baton away. Touchdown then hit Archie with the helmet: 1…2…3!
Veronica then went back in the ring. She kissed Mr. Touchdown right in front of Archibald Peck.
The Loser Leaves Town match was always going to end disappointingly because none of these four men should be banned from Chikara for life. Having said that, everything about this match and feud had been executed to near perfection. At the time, I wrote that Chikara would be foolish to not bring back Archibald Peck in some fashion. Peck had mentioned his travels to Mexico on several occasions, so I hoped El Bandolero would be gracing Chikara with his presence. Little did I know that Chikara had something better up their sleeve: The Mysterious and Handsome Stranger. Also of note, it was kind of amazing how much of an afterthought Colt Cabana was in all of this. That just goes to show the strength of the characters of Chikara that the most famous man in the ring was who the crowd cared the least about. I enjoyed this match more the second time through.
Match Rating: ***
Eddie Kingston, Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, & The Colony (Green Ant & Soldier Ant) vs. GEKIDO (17, The Shard, assailANT, deviANT, & combatANT) from Chikara’s Chikarasaurus Rex: How to Hatch a Dinosaur 2012
The story was that Fire Ant got his ankle broke backstage by the GEKIDO before the iPPV got underway. Thus, the tecnicos were a man short going into the match.
I was really cold on this feud going into the show, but when I watched it originally, Kingston’s demeanor as he went down the ramp completely sold me on the intensity of this storyline. All nine men are brawling all over the ring and ringside area. 17 was all alone in the ring at one point, when all of a sudden, Mike Quackenbush ran down and hit a springboard dropkick that sent 17 to the floor. Derek Sabato jumped up on the apron, but Quack promptly gave him a huge palm strike. Quack then wiped out everyone with a somersault plancha. The bell finally rang shortly after that and a tag team match broke out. The rudos managed to cut off Soldier Ant, and they worked him over for a bit. deviANT went after Soldier Ant’s mask, but the other tecnicos managed to save Soldier’s mask. Soldier Ant went after deviANT’s mask, and that caused another huge brawl to break out. Order was briefly restored as GEKIDO worked over Soldier Ant some more. Solier Ant managed to hit 17 with a tope suicida out of nowhere. Kingston jumped into the ring and started tossing around the GEKIDO. Everyone traded a lot of big moves. Kingston killed Shard with a half-nelson suplex. Jigsaw nailed combatANT with superkick. Green Ant managed to get to the balcony and he dove off it onto everyone but Jigsaw. Fantastic spot. The crowd was going nuts. 17 locked a Crippler Crossface on Jigsaw, but Soldier Ant made the save. GEKIDO almost got Soldier Ant’s mask off, but Quack and Green Ant saved him. The five tecnicos then managed to hit the Mega Ant-apult. Soldier Ant then locked in the Chikara Special on 17. 17 TAPS OUT! Quack broke several of 17’s fingers after the match.
I really did not care all that much about the Gekido match going into the iPPV. I thought the story was logical at best, but uninspired at its worst. With that being said, the ten men match was an excellent semi-main event. Quackenbush returning took me (and the crowd by the sounds of it) completely off guard. He looked to be in great shape, and his presence really added to the drama of the match. Soldier Ant and Eddie Kingston also looked great in this match, as the brawling structure of the Gekido matches played into their strengths. Much like a lot of the other feuds on this show, the iPPV match ended up being a great exclamation point on an otherwise uninspired story.
Match Rating: ***3/4
Sugar Dunkerton vs. The Shard from Chikara’s The Great Escape 2012
Sugar makes fun of Shard for wearing pink. Shard responded with a shotgun dropkick. Sugar found some arcade basketballs in the arena, and he then did the Balls Mahoney “Balls” punches with them. The crowd enjoyed that. Shard managed to send Sugar’s left arm into a ringpost, and he then went after that arm. Sugar came back with a spinebuster variation. Shard then hit a Gory Bomb. Shard hit an enzuigiri, but Sugar then caught him with a schoolboy: 1…2…3!!!
The 411: Chikara did not release a ton of great matches this year, but there are some gems that are definitely worth checking out. I am especially fond of Green Ant vs. Mike Quackenbush. You should definitely also check out any of the matches with Mr. Touchdown, Archibald Peck, and The Mysterious & Handsome Stranger.
|Final Score: 6.5 [ Average ] legend|