Csonka: 8 Holiday Films Poorly Re-Imagined With WWE Stars

It’s Christmas Eve, so Merry Christmas to all who are celebrating. It may be Christmas Eve, but you always need something to read, so today I have decided to do something completely silly and give WWE Studios some ideas by re-imagining holiday themed films with WWE stars, Many of these films will sound familiar to you, because I’m basically going the Asylum films route with a re-imagining/mockbuster style of limited changes in synopsis and titles. This is supposed to be fun, silly, and yes even stupid but its Christmas so have a laugh and come up with some of your own. It’s wrestling, we love it and will disagree. The only rules are “have a take, be respectful, and don’t be a dick.” Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.

A Total Bellas Christmas: Singers Bob Wallace (John Cena) and Phil Davis (Daniel Bryan) join sister act Betty (Nikki Bella) and Judy Haynes (Brie Bella) to perform a Christmas show in rural Connecticut. There, they run into Sgt. Slaughter (Sgt. Slaughter), the boys drill sergeant ahead of World War II, who they learn, is having financial difficulties as his quaint country inn is failing. The foursome must plan a Christmas miracle: a fun-filled musical extravaganza with all of his former trainees in attendance to celebrate his life, and put Sarge and his business back in the black.

Xanta KLAUS: The holiday season represents the most magical time of year, but ancient European folklore warns of Xanta KLAUS, an evil beast who punishes naughty children at Christmastime. When dysfunctional family squabbling causes young Max (Lio Rush) to lose his festive spirit, it unleashes the wrath of the fearsome demon. As Xanta KLAUS lays siege to the Engel home, mom (Linda McMahon), pop (Jerry Lawler), sister (Lana) and brother must band together to save one another from a monstrous fate.

Elf, Yes!: Back in the day, Buddy (Daniel Bryan) was accidentally transported to the North Pole as a toddler and raised to adulthood among Santa’s elves. Unable to shake the feeling that he doesn’t fit in, adult Buddy travels to Connecticut, in full elf uniform, in search of his real father. As it happens, this is Vince McMahon (Vince McMahon), a ruthless wrestling promoter. After a DNA test proves this, Wince reluctantly attempts to start a relationship with the childlike Buddy with increasingly chaotic results as Buddy tries to learn the professional wrestling business and falls in love with Jovie (Brie Bella).

Big Bad Santa: Willie T. Stokes (Mark Henry), a retired professional wrestler and his partner (Hornswoggle) reunite once a year for a holiday con instead of hitting the convention circuit. Posing as a mall Santa and his elf, they rip off shopping outlets on Christmas Eve. However, Willie is falling apart. He’s depressed and alcoholic, and his erratic behavior draws the suspicion of mall security (split role by the Bellas). But when befriending a small boy (Drake Maverick), it brings out his kinder side, and Willie begins to wonder if there is still some hope for him.

Tajiri Clause: Of the two Claus brothers, Fred (Steve Austin) is the troublemaker and polar opposite of his saintly sibling, Nicholas (Tajiri). When Fred’s criminal ways finally land him in big trouble, Nicholas bails him out and brings him to the North Pole to work off the debt by making toys. The headaches mount for St. Nick, who not only must deal with his troublemaking brother, but also an efficiency expert (Baron Corbin) who has come to evaluate Santa’s operation.

Santa Clause & Effect: Divorced dad Scott (Mark Mick Foley) has custody of his daughters (Brie & Nikki) on Christmas Eve. After he accidentally kills a man in a Santa suit, they are magically transported to the North Pole, where an elf explains that Scott must take Santa’s place before the next Christmas arrives. Scott thinks he’s dreaming, but over the next several months he gains weight and grows an inexplicably white beard. Maybe that night at the North Pole wasn’t a dream after all, and maybe Scott actually has a lot of work to do.

The Frozen Revolution: When their kingdom becomes trapped in perpetual winter following a cold reaction from social media, fearless Anna (Charlotte) joins forces with mountaineer Kristoff (Andrade) and his reindeer sidekick (Braun Strowman) to find Anna’s sister, Snow Queen Elsa (Becky Lynch), and break her icy spell. Although their epic journey leads them to encounters with mystical Twitter trolls, a comedic snowman (Seth Rollins), harsh conditions, and magic at every turn, Anna and Kristoff bravely push onward in a race to save their kingdom from winter’s cold grip.

A Undisputed Christmas: Grandpa Vince (Vince McMahon( is The owner of an easygoing ski lodge that sees its future is put in jeopardy by a cutthroat businessman from Jacksonville, intent on replacing the lodge with an enormous resort for all of his evil rich friends. All seems lost until Vince calls his son Paul (Triple H), who recruits his nephews to help out grandpa Vince. The four brothers (Adam Cole, Kyle O’Reilly, Bobby Fish,. & Roderick Strong) return home to save the day with a charity-wrestling event, but are they in time to save the family business?

The 411 on Wrestling Podcast returns to the 411 Podcasting Network for episode 77. On the show, 411’s Larry Csonka & Jeremy Lambert break down their 2019 Wrestling Awards, the Cubsfan returns to talk the world of Lucha, & Steve Cook joins the show to discuss Vince McMahon’s loyalty to Jerry Lawler before the annual airing of the grievances. The show is approximately 210-minutes long.

* Intro
* The 2019 Wrestling Awards: 4:35
* Talking Lucha With The Cubsfan (Sin Cara, The Ingobernable Stables, Rey Horus, Rush Losing The ROH Title, More): 1:32:45
* Discussing Vince McMahon’s Loyalty to Jerry Lawler & The Airing of The 2019 Wrestling Grievances With Steve Cook: 2:10:20

* iTunes
* Spotify
* Stitcher
* Google Play

– End Scene.

– Thanks for reading.