On the Marc Reviews: 1997 Royal Rumble

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Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas; January 19, 1997

Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry “The King” Lawler and Jim Ross

This is a pretty large crowd for a non-WrestleMania PPV.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/Mr. Hughes) vs. Goldust (w/Marlena):   Helmsley hit on Marlena to set this up. Goldust attacks in the aisle; Goldust in true Rumble form tosses HHH over the top a few times. He clotheslines him off the steel barricade. This is a much more aggressive Goldust since he turned babyface. Helmsley finally drops Goldust into an atomic drop to get control. Triple H tries the Pedigree but flies over the top rope. Goldust drops the steel steps onto Hunter’s back. Um, DQ? Hunter hangs Goldust’s throat off the top rope to get the advantage. Goldust counters a corner charge with a boot to the face. Goldust goes to the floor where Triple H comes off the top rope with a double axe handle. HHH sets Goldust up against the security railing but Goldust moves and Triple H knees the guard rail. Goldust uses the steps again. Back to the ring Goldust applies a leglock working the leg; he applies a figure-four leglock. Hunter goes to the floor where he clips the leg. Triple H hangs on the floor for a fifty count. Earl Hebner is allowing A LOT of leeway in this match. Goldust misses a high crossbody and he rolls to the floor. Triple H rams him into the steps now. Helmsley takes Marlena’s director’s chair the referee finally stops someone from using illegal objects. Back to the ring, HHH drops a knee but uses the bad leg thus injuring it further. Goldust comes back with a clothesline and a backdrop. To the top Goldust climbs but HHH pushes Hebner into the ropes and the ricochet crotches Goldust but he knocks HHH off the top and MISSES the elbow drop. Mr. Hughes tosses the IC title to Helmsley and distracts the referee; HHH plants one on Marlena but misses the belt shot. Goldust does not. Hughes pulls HHH out of the ring to break up the three. Triple H attacks from behind while Goldust is distracted by Hughes. Pedigree finishes the match. 4.5/10 A little slow but fun; there was an AWFUL LOT of outside stuff during the match. The match was a bit hardcore if you ask me.

Bret “Hitman” Hart discusses being a marked man in the Royal Rumble. Elsewhere, Mankind sees the Rumble as a chance to hurt a lot of people he does not like.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Faarooq (w/Nation of Domination):   Basically, Faarooq called Ahmed an Uncle Tom; that is the genesis of this feud. Faarooq injured Ahmed’s kidneys and formed the NOD for backup. Ahmed charges the ring and takes Faarooq down and beats the ever loving crap out of him.  They head to the floor where he posts Faarooq. Back in the ring Ahmed rips the rest of Faarooq’s entrance gear off.  Faarooq uses his belt but Ahmed gets it and whips the hell out of Faarooq. Johnson continues to dominate tossing Faarooq into the steps a few times. Faarooq uses a Nation member (D’Lo Brown) as a human shield to get the advantage; he sets up a chair and slams Ahmed’s kidneys onto it then hits him with the chair. I guess all of the Rumble matches are no DQ? Back in the ring Faarooq attacks the previously injured kidneys. Faarooq applies a double reverse chinlock and yells at the fans. He keeps jawing at them meanwhile Ahmed stands up and drops Faarooq into the electric chair. Faarooq comes off the top… right into a powerslam. Ahmed tries a Thesz press but Faarooq drops him with a spinebuster. Faarooq yells at the fans again so Ahmed pops up and spinebusters him. Crush comes in as does the rest of the Nation drawing a DQ. Ahmed presses one of PG-13 onto a bunch of Nation members. Post-match Ahmed and his wedgie chase Faarooq up the ramp. A Nation member breaks it up so Ahmed Pearl River Plunge powerbombs him through the French announce table. 3/10 Short but a little boring in the middle; Ahmed looked like a world beater here.

Terry Funk says he was born to Rumble. Elsewhere, in the back, Faarooq yells at some of the members and plans to take down the “Uncle Tom” Ahmed Johnson.

Undertaker vs. Vader:   Taker is alone here; I think Paul Bearer turned on Undertaker by this point and sided with Mankind. Undertaker has shed his purple gloves and boots by now and looks more like the Attitude Taker. Vader attacks immediately but Taker comes back. Vader is bewildered at Undertaker’s no-selling of his offense. Taker sits up off a clothesline and a standing avalanche… twice. Vader regroups on the floor but Taker comes out after him; Vader manages to hangman Undertaker’s throat off the top rope. Vader drops his head on a backdrop attempt so Undertaker hits a Fameasser. Where did that move go? He slams Vader. Impressive. He drops a leg. Taker attempts to go Old School but Vader shakes the ropes to crotch him. Undertaker recovers first so Vader low blows him. Todd Pettingill, for some unfathomable reason, cuts in on the match to interview some obsessive Shawn Michaels fan. Okay. Meanwhile in the ring Vader dominates Undertaker including a second-rope shoulderblock for two. Vader locks in a trapezius hold. Taker pummels Vader’s gut to counter and backdrop suplexes Vader to a double KO; Taker up first MISSES an elbow so Vader drops an elbow into Taker’s groin. Vader tries another second-rope move but Taker catches him in a powerslam. Vader nails a powerbomb but Taker kicks out and is on his feet before Vader! Undertaker floors him with a 360 clothesline. Now Taker lands Old School.  Paul Bearer strides to the ring as Undertaker chokeslams Vader and clotheslines him over the top rope. Taker nails Bearer; that confirms the heel turn. Vader returns and Cactus clotheslines Taker to the floor. Undertaker drapes Vader on the ring barricade but Paul Bearer move him out of the way and Taker impales himself on the railing. Paul Bearer jumps off the apron and nails Taker with the urn then falls on his ass. Taker rolls back into the ring right into the Vader Bomb for three. Post-match Vader and Paul Bearer leave together. Taker is mad so he chokeslams the referee and gets in Vince McMahon’s face on commentary. 4/10 Another match that felt like it was stuck in slow motion. Undertaker no-selling most Vader’s offense was blasphemy.

“Stone Cold” Steve Austin complains about cameramen and plans on tossing 29 other pieces of trash over the top rope. The British Bulldog, arriving at the arena, plans on winning because he is bizarre, whatever that means.

Héctor Garza, Perro Aguayo & El Canek vs. Jerry Estrada, Heavy Metal & Fuerza Guerrera:   All of these guys are from the Asistencia Asesoría y Administración (AAA). I do not know who any of them are; well I know Heavy Metal and Héctor Garza, that’s about it. Estrada and Heavy Metal start off and trade armlock pin attempts. Side headlock into a back suplex; Perro Aguayo tags in and he and Estrada come in and Aguayo clotheslines him. Aguayo backdrops him over the top but he rolls through. Canek tags in now and he and Guerrera trade hiptosses. Second rope springboard crossbody followed by a slam.  Guerrera misses a top-rope senton; Canek hits a top-rope crossbody. Heavy Metal and Garza return to do some spiffy lucha maneuvers. Spinning wheel kick by Heavy Metal followed by a springing off-the-ropes backflip elbow; Garza flips off the top and then jumps to the top and springs off into a Mexican arm drag. Garza hits a nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and flips off the bottom rope on an ankle kick; they shake hands out of respect and each tag out. Canek and Jerry Estrada return; they go through a lucha test of strength and go through a series of dropkicks and arm drags. Aguayo and Guerrera chop the hell out of each other. Heavy Metal tags back in with Canek; he works Metal’s leg and Garza comes in over the top onto the leg. They isolate Metal and beat him down. The crowd is quiet because they do not know who these guys are. Canek press-slams Guerrera and Garza then everyone gets involved; Garza climbs to the top and hits a twisting crossbody press onto Estrada. Canek press-slams Heavy Metal and Aguayo comes off the top with a double stomp for three. 3.5/10 Kind of boring actually; WCW’s cruiserweights and luchadores were doing much more entertaining stuff around this time.

Howard Finkel announces the attendance at 60,477; that is a lot for a non-WrestleMania PPV.

The Royal Rumble:   #1 Crush and #2 Ahmed Johnson conveniently putting a Nation member in there versus Ahmed; Crush is pissed off. Crush is all over Johnson in the outset until he fires up and clotheslines him. They roll around on the canvas in the “street brawl” spot. Crush sledges him down. Here is #3 “Razor Ramon”, not Scott Hall but a fake version Jim Ross brought in to mess with Vince McMahon, or something like that. Ahmed ELIMINATES Razor rather quickly and goes back to Crush. Faarooq wanders down the aisle, so Ahmed jumps over the top rope, ELIMINATING himself, to get at him. There are many other ways to getting to the outside of the ring other than over the top. #4 Phineas I. Godwinn heads to the ring; he almost gets Crush over the top rope. They slug away on each other. The clock is not working so entrance music just randomly hits with no countdown; #5 “Stone Cold” Steve Austin walks to the ring and Phineas attacks as he gets in. Heel miscommunication sees Austin clothesline Crush and then Phineas ELIMINATES him. Godwinn turns around right into a Stone Cold Stunner and ELIMINATES him. The clock is fixed as #6 Bart Gunn slides in and attacks Austin. He hits a Rocker Dropper on Stone Cold. Bart saves off elimination but gets then clotheslined over ELIMINATING him. Austin checks his “watch” as #7 Jake “The Snake” Roberts heads to the ring. Jake clobbers Austin and armbars him for the whole ninety seconds; then Austin ELIMINATES him just as #8 British Bulldog heads out. He clobbers Austin; apparently they have a history in 1996 but I do not remember it. Bulldog powerslam plants Austin. #9 Pierroth, from AAA, heads out Bulldog and he go at it. Pierroth locks in a chinlock allowing Austin to nail him from behind.

They gang up on Austin as #10 The Sultan (since he is not Fatu right now so he draws a crappy number) walks down and attacks Pierroth he tries to eliminate him but Pierroth hangs on. Sultan slams Pierroth hard and then #11 Mil Máscaras, who must be almost fifty, heads out to the ring; he goes for the Sultan. Crowd pops for him as he is a legend in the Tex-Mex area; hits a flying cross-chop on Sultan. Máscaras gets belly-to-belly suplexed by Sultan. Here is #12 Hunter Hearst Helmsley jogging to the ring, pulling double duty tonight. HHH goes for the Bulldog then Mil Máscaras chops him. Bulldog clotheslines the Sultan for a whirl and then ELIMINATES him. Austin eliminates HHH; no he hangs on so Austin drives the second-rope elbow down into him. Here is #13 Owen Hart, in his Slammy award winning phase, also one half of the tag team champions with the British Bulldog. Owen and Austin go at it, naturally, that history I remember. Bulldog tries to eliminate Austin so Owen sneaks over and ELIMINATES the Bulldog to further the friction between them. Bulldog is mad and #14 Goldust runs down and Austin attacks him immediately and drops a knee. Máscaras gets Owen over the top but saves himself. A whole gang of people try to eliminate each other in the same area; now, #15 Cibernético also from AAA, heads out. He goes for Máscaras. Triple H and Goldust finally find each other and battle. Owen drops Austin. #16 “Wildman” Marc Mero comes out just as Máscaras ELIMINATES Cibernético and then he ELIMINATES Pierroth. Mil Máscaras then ascends the turnbuckle and dives off onto Pierroth ELIMINATING himself. Goldust clotheslines HHH out ELIMINATING him. Mero and Goldust go at it as Owen enziguris Austin. #17 Latin Lover heads to the ring and kicks Goldust in the ass. Latin Lover slams Owen then Austin shoulderblocks him in the corner. Owen skins-the-cat and then ELIMINATES Goldust. Here comes #18 Faarooq towards the ring and stomps on Latin Lover; he charges Faarooq but gets backdropped over, ELIMINATING Latin Lover. Ahmed Johnson returns with a huge 2×4 and beats Faarooq over the top ELIMINATING him. In the chaos Austin catches Owen and Mero on the ropes ELIMINATING both of them; Austin is all alone in the ring for #19 Savio Vega, history here, Savio is not a Nation member yet. Vega hits a spinning wheel kick but Austin hangs him on the ropes and clotheslines (ELIMINATES) him out.

Austin is by himself again so he asks for more and gets #20 “The Real Double J” Jesse James. Austin attacks him and hits a corner clothesline but Austin makes quick work of him and ELIMINATES him. People are starting to side with Austin here. #21 Bret “Hitman” Hart heads out and Austin’s facial reactions are tremendous. They trade blows in the center of the ring. Bret gets the better of him and hits an atomic drop and a clothesline. Bret was beginning his slow burn to heeldome at this point. Bret applies a Sharpshooter as #22 Jerry “The King” Lawler’s music hits. Lawler gets up from the announce position, and says “it takes a King…” he gets in the ring and Bret punches him over the top rope ELIMINATING him. Lawler goes back to the announce table and says ”…to know a king.” Funny. #23 “Diesel”, explanation for this is the same as “Razor Ramon” from before. This version of “Diesel” you may recognize as Kane. Austin sends Bret into the buckle as #24 Terry Funk wanders to the ring; he grabs Austin and presumably says “son of a bitch” to him a lot. Bret and “Diesel” battle and then Funk attacks Bret. #25 Rocky Maivia heads out to the ring. Rocky and Austin attack each other saying, “Wanna main event a couple of WrestleManias together?” Bret Hart almost tosses Funk. “Diesel” clobbers Maivia. Jerry Lawler keeps playing it off like he never was in the ring at all. Silly. #26 Mankind, nice, heads for the Funker and almost tosses him. Austin hits a textbook vertical suplex on Bret; the Hitman locks in a sleeper on Austin countered by a jawbreaker. Here is #27 Flash Funk and he attacks “Diesel” as Bret piledrives Austin. Bret and Austin brawl more as Flash Funk takes out Terry Funk (no relation) and “Diesel” with a top-rope crossbody. #28 Vader draws a good number this year. Terry Funk almost eliminates Mankind so he retreats to the corner to rock back and forth. Vader tears Flash Funk apart and then clobbers Austin. Bret and Vader go at it. #29 Henry O. Godwinn heads out to the ring. Godwinn floors Vader. Impressive. Lots of guys in the ring for #30 Undertaker. The lights go out and he and Vader battle. Taker chokeslams Austin then Vader; he attacks “Diesel” and rams his and Flash Funks heads together. Vader ELIMINATES Flash Funk via a fall-away slam. Bret and Austin give it a go again. Vader destroys Austin and Bret. Henry Godwinn almost goes out. Future tag team champions Mankind and “Diesel” battle in the corner. Godwinn works on the Undertaker; that pisses Taker off so he choke tosses Henry Godwinn over the top ELIMINATING him. Undertaker and Bret get Austin over the top but not out. Rocky Maivia tries to spring off the buckles into Mankind but he finds the Mandible Claw. Mankind forces him over the top ELIMINATING him. It is okay, Rocky will get his Royal Rumble revenge a few years, clobbering Mankind with a chair about twenty times. Vader runs over “Diesel”, it is okay, “Diesel” will get his revenge on Vader in a year or so with a wrench. Mankind ties Terry Funk into the Harley Race rope weeble-wobble spot. Cactus clothesline puts them both on the apron; Mankind suplexes Terry Funk to the floor ELIMINATING the Funker. Wow, everyone in the ring is a future or former world champion; Undertaker big boots Mankind to the floor ELIMINATING him. Mankind and Terry Funk brawl on the floor distracting the referees so they miss Bret Hart tossing Austin over the top to the floor. Technically, the final four for the 1997 Royal Rumble are; Bret Hart, Undertaker, Vader and “Diesel”, but Austin realizing no referee saw the elimination, sneaks back in and ELIMINATES both Undertaker and Vader who were brawling on the ropes. Bret Hart ELIMINATES “Diesel” and then Austin sneaks over and ELIMINATES Bret Hart, the referees declare Steve Austin the winner. Post-match Bret Hart freaks out on the referees then goes over to Vince McMahon on commentary and berates him and demands he “do something aboot this”. 6.5/10 There was a lot of unknown people in there which made it a tad bit boring. The screwy ending set up the In Your House 13: Final Four main event between Austin, Bret, Undertaker and Vader since Austin illegaly eliminated those three. Shawn Michaels “loses his smile” between now and then so that match will be for the WWF title.

WWF Heavyweight Championship Sycho Sid vs. Shawn Michaels (w/Jose Lothario):   Sid won the WWF title from Shawn at Survivor Series. San Antonio is Shawn’s hometown so he has his Texas HBK tights on and a cowboy hat. Sid shoves Shawn all around the ring so Shawn resorts to aerial tactics and then kicks Sid to the floor. They brawl on the floor; Sid sends Shawn into the ring apron and presses him high above. HBK rakes the face to counter. Back in the ring Shawn comes off the top… into a powerslam then Sid settles into a Camel Clutch. Shawn eventually escapes and avoids a sit-down splash; Sid charges into a HBK boot in the corner. Sid reverses and sends HBK upside-down in the corner and down to the floor. Sid scoops Shawn up and rams his back into the ringpost, twice. Sid returns to a chinlock that Jim Ross calls a “basic move” for him. Shawn punches his way back but gets upended by a clothesline. Sid sends HBK into the corner and applies a bearhug now. Shawn is battling the flu in this match as we get a shot of mama and papa HBK in the crowd. Shawn reverse atomic drops Sid to free himself but dives off the second-rope right back into the bearhug. Sid drops a leg and reapplies the reverse chinlock. Shawn finally comes back and slams Sid. Flying forearm into the nip-up; Shawn drops the top-rope elbow. Shawn tunes up the band but Sid catches the superkick. Sid backdrops HBK to the floor and follows him out and powerbombs him on the floor. Sid grabs Jose Lothario by the throat. Pete Lothario, his son, tries to help but gets goozled as well. HBK comes to so Sid tosses the Lotharios aside and flings Shawn back in the ring. Sid reverses a whip and sends Shawn into referee Earl Hebner. Sid chokeslams Shawn Michaels another referee runs in and counts two. Sid clobbers the new referee for his insolence. Lothario gets up on the apron allowing Shawn to clobber him with a camera, a receipt for Survivor Series, Hebner crawls over and counts two. Shawn clobbers Sid with Sweet Chin Music… one… two… THREE! Shawn retains the WWF title. Post-match Shawn smiles at all the fans unfortunately that “smile” would not last much longer. He hugs his entire family in the front row and then Vince McMahon at the announce table. 5.5/10 Decent main event (the Rumble should ALWAYS be the main event of this PPV, in my opinion), but as with all Sid matches there is a long boring middle segment of “wear down” holds when Sid is on offense. Shawn would forfeit the title on Monday Night Raw a few weeks later in some long, pondered backstage controversy, that everyone from HBK to Bret Hart to Vince McMahon has a different take on. As far as this match goes it was okay.

The 411:  Mixed bag; the Rumble was entertaining and it showed people could get behind the Stone Cold character; Bret Hart’s frustration began to show more here as well. 1997 was one of the most entertaining years in WWF history and this is the beginning of it. The undercard matches were hard hitting and a little “hardcore”. Shawn Michaels winning the WWF title only to “lose his smile” a few weeks later and forfeit it kind of hurts the “longevity” of the title match; standing alone it is a good match.

Final Score:  6.0   [ Average ]