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Bag Lady Review
Image Credit: Eric Jacobus
Loading...Bag Lady Review
Eric Jacobus– Bender
Danny Shepherd– Peter
Phillip Kismartoni– Skee
Steve Erman– Mike
Thekla Hutyrova– Bag Lady
Directed by Eric Jacobus
Screenplay by Eric Jacobus
Produced by The Stunt People, in association with Ismahawk and Superalloy
Not Rated
Runtime– 33 minutes
Bag Lady, a new sci-fi action comedy short film from writer/director/star Eric Jacobus that recently appeared at the Big Bad Film Fest, is nothing short of fantastic. Amazing, even. Featuring plenty of top notch martial arts choreography and comedy inside of a goofy and unsettling science fiction premise, Jacobus and company have put together a crowd pleaser of the highest order and one of the best short films I’ve ever seen.
Eric Jacobus stars as Bender, a sort of happy go lucky homeless man in Las Vegas that spends most of his time dumpster diving, looking for still viable food and other things for his fellow homeless citizens. One day while making his rounds, Bender finds a pair of sunglasses, something he apparently doesn’t come across all that often when dumpster diving. After arguing with and giving some still viable food to his fellow homeless man and actual brother Skee (Phillip Kismartoni) and tossing a small plastic bag filled with aluminum cans to an old woman that’s out collecting aluminum cans (this is the Bag Lady of the short’s title and played by Thekla Hutyrova), a security guard named Mike (Steve Erman) from a nearby factory appears demanding Bender return his sunglasses. A back and forth ensues between Bender, Skee, and Mike about the sunglasses and “what’s really going on” (Bender’s argument with Skee before Mike appeared was essentially all about the big conspiracy that Skee claims is running the world), which leads to Mike offering money to buy the sunglasses back, Bender and Skee arguing about taking Mike’s money, and Bender eventually putting on the sunglasses. Now, during his earlier argument with Skee, Bender noticed that when he put on the sunglasses that they altered his surroundings, making everything appear to be black and white. Bender assumed that the sunglasses were somehow broken, Putting them on again and looking around, Bender notices that not only do the sunglasses make everything look black and white, they also make some people look like robots.
Robots? Some people are actually robots? And the Bag Lady is a robot? What the heck is going on?
So then some stuff happens, a scuffle ensues, a Taser is used, and the Bag Lady takes Bender’s sunglasses while seemingly running away at great speed. Like a super advanced robot.
What?
Are Skee’s originally believed delusional ramblings possibly true? Is the world secretly run somehow by advanced robots? And is the Bag Lady, the old woman collecting aluminum cans, actually one of those robots? And what the heck did Mike know about all of this before he arrived to take back his sunglasses? Just what is going on here?
I don’t want to say any more about the plot as it does contain some brilliantly wild twists that are best experienced as fresh as possible going in, but I will say that the second half of the short film involves Bender, Skee, and Mike banding together to go find the Bag Lady and retrieve the sunglasses. Bender and Skee want to know what’s really going on with the Bag Lady, and Mike desperately wants to get those sunglasses back because they are expensive, they were given to him by the company that he works for, and he doesn’t want to lose his job if and when his company finds out that he lost them. You are not prepared for what Bender, Skee, and Mike end up going through. You will not see any of it coming.
If you’re familiar with any of writer/director/star Jacobus’ previous cinematic work, you know that he specializes in what you could call “martial arts comedy,” and Bag Lady fits very nicely with his previous movies. There’s a lightness to both the plot and the story that’s established immediately when we see Bender, a homeless man and dumpster diver, giving items to an assembled group of cheering children. No one is scared of Bender or any of the other homeless characters in the short. Even when you hear some of the homeless characters engage in weird as hell dialogue, like Bender’s back and forth with Peter (Danny Shepherd) and Bender’s interactions with Skee, especially when Skee goes off about robots, these homeless characters are treated as people who exist and live in this world and have inner lives and thoughts and feelings, something you don’t see all that often in any sort of media. That’s cool and endearing.
The martial arts moments in the short are exciting and thrilling instead of being brutal and nasty, and you’re more likely to cheer and laugh when you see Jacobus and the other skilled martial artists and stunt technicians perform. Even when you add in the sci-fi premise of the plot, there isn’t anything in the short that someone could call objectionable. The robot that we briefly see is striking and weird, sure, but you’re more likely to laugh than scream at anything you see, including the robot. It’s all incredibly impressive.
And speaking of impressive, there’s a scene towards the end of the short that has one of the best goofy movie explosions ever filmed. There are feature length genre movies that spent way more money on explosions that don’t look even half as good as what Jacobus and company managed to pull off in Bag Lady. That’s awesome.
The cast is phenomenal. Eric Jacobus is brilliant as Bender. He’s resourceful and well-liked by seemingly everyone that knows him, both homeless and non-homeless alike, and it sure seems like he only wants what’s best for everyone. When the sci-fi part of the plot gets going, Bender gets Skee and Mike together to go on a mini-quest to find the Bag Lady and get the sunglasses back. You just can’t help but like the guy. And you will love Jacobus’ performance. And when you realize that Jacobus also wrote the script and directed the short while also starring in it, the movie and Jacobus become that much more impressive.
Phillip Kismartoni is terrific as Skee, Bender’s brother and a fellow homeless man. Skee comes off as someone who has more problems than his brother Bender, mostly because of his rants about robots and what truly rules the world. It all sounds like nonsense. And when he goes off on how he is “truly free” because he doesn’t have a job or a home and can do whatever he wants whenever he wants, you start to wonder what other problems he might have. And on top of that, what does Bender do that we don’t see to help Skee get through each day? And then the “actual” robot shows up, and seemingly all bets are off. Just what the heck is going on? Kismartoni is just perfect as Skee, and you end up like Bender. You worry about Skee, and you love him. At least that’s what happened with me.
Steve Erman is wonderful as Mike, the security guard that just wants his sunglasses back and ends up partaking in what amounts to a crazy adventure. You’re not entirely sure who he is or what his deal is when you first see him (well, you do know what his deal is as he wants his sunglasses back, but why are they so important that he wants to give Bender and Skee hundreds of dollars for them? They’re just sunglasses). And you’re not sure how he’s going to fit in with Bender and Skee when they go looking for the Bag Lady, but he fits in quite nicely. Erman, like Jacobus and Kismartoni, is a great stunt and martial arts performer, and you’re just going to love him.
And Thekla Hutyrova is so goddamn great as the Bag Lady. Just amazing. You will be surprised by everything you see from her in every second she’s on screen. Everything.
Bag Lady is, as I write this, making the rounds on the film festival circuit. The short doesn’t have a social media presence that I’m aware of, so you will just have to keep an eye out for it (Eric Jacobus does have a website, which you can check out here, which does have links to a Eric Jacobus Twitter and Instagram presence, so maybe announcements and whatnot will show up there). I’d imagine that Bag Lady will eventually show up on the Eric Jacobus YouTube page/channel, so if you don’t get to see it in a film festival setting, keep an eye out on that YouTube page. But when you do get a chance to see it, regardless of the venue, make an effort to see it as soon as you can. It really is that damn good. And be sure to check out the other cinematic works of Eric Jacobus. They, too, are well worth your time.
See Bag Lady. See it, see it, goddamn see it!
So what do we have here?
Dead bodies: None.
Explosions: One.
Nudity?: None.
Doobage: A VHS tape. Dumpster diving. A group of kids. Food distribution. Public drumming. More dumpster diving. A general hatred of gainful employment. A flask. A hilarious billboard. Hundreds of dollars. Sunglasses. A blue fanny pack. A white van. A house. Multiple black and white photographs. Knives. Indoors drumming. Cymbal throwing. Serious fighting difficulties. A heavy face. Back stabbing. Attempting to use a keyboard used as a weapon. An explosion. Pick axe attack. Recorder attack. Guy thrown into a tree. Aluminum can throwing. Another pick axe attack. Shovel to the head. A flying elbow. A shed. A surprise ending.
Kim Richards? None.
Gratuitous: Eric Jacobus dumpster diving. A John Carpenter’s They Live homage. A John Carpenter’s They Live theme homage. A “Giants Are Things” cardboard sign. Eric Jacobus playing a guy named Bender (a Futurama homage?). Aluminum can recycling. Eric Jacobus wearing a blue fanny pack. A robot. A picture of a cat with a label on it that says “Local Idiot.” Recorder attack. “Uh oh.” An Office Space homage.
Best lines: “It’s the giants, man. They’re here.” “Wait, what is this, pork? I don’t eat pork! Bender! He knows I don’t eat pork!” “You look like a bum!” “Where did you get the sunnies?” “Do you know what I think is going on? The military industrial complex is paving the way for an invasion.” “That’s a robot, Bender.” “You bums! If it weren’t for you lowlifes, none of this would have happened!” “This car is awesome! You could live in this thing!” “Dude! Now is not the time to be drinking! And where did you get those suspenders? And how did you clean up so fast?” “You’re not Mike.” “Bloody robot!” “Uh oh.” “Sorry, mate. You’re definitely a bum now.” “I need a drink.” “Sometimes reality is pain.” “All right. Let’s get out of here.” “Hey, let’s go get a cheeseburger. I know a great dumpster we can go to.”
