wrestling / TV Reports

411’s Impact Wrestling Report 10.27.11

October 27, 2011 | Posted by Steve Cook


411’s IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT 10.27.11

Championship Roll Call:
TNA WORLD TITLE: James Storm
TNA TV TITLE: Eric Young
TNA X-DIVISION TITLE: Austin Aries
TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE: Velvet Sky
TNA TAG TEAM TITLES: Mexican America
TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM TITLES: Tara & Miss Tessmacher


Hi folks, Steve Cook here to recap this week’s edition of Impact Wrestling! We’ve got a packed & stacked show this week, featuring the return of Jeff Hardy & the crowning of a new #1 contender! If you’d like to join the 411 team and recap the best wrestling show on Spike TV Thursday nights, send a sample to Larry Csonka and he might give you a shot at Internet writing wrestling stardom! Hey, if I can recap this show somewhat coherently, any of you can!

We open with a video package…James Storm says that now it’s his turn. He knew he was wrestling the greatest wrestler in the world, but everybody makes a mistake. Three seconds is all it takes. Bobby Roode trained his ass off, but so did he. They’re still Beer Money and that’s never going to end. He dedicates the victory to his dad.

James Storm comes out to music that is not Beer Money music! Him & his dad watched WrestleMania 3 together, and he told his dad that one day he wanted to be a wrestler & be champion. He doesn’t kiss anybody’s ass. He couldn’t have done it without every single fan he’s performed in front of over the past 15 years, and thanks them for making it possible. He invites the rest of Fortune out to the ring, and here they come. AJ Styles, Kazarian & Bobby Roode make their way down to the ring. Storm talks about how the Fortune Four have changed Impact Wrestling. Everybody knows that Bobby Roode was screwed out of his chance at his dream. Storm was sitting at the bar last night and came up with a great idea…to give Roode a title shot! They shake hands in agreement…

But here comes Samoa Joe! Joe talks about how they used to fight the good fight against the system, and Storm has transcended it. But for all his self-righteousness, Joe sees the same four scumbags that he saw before Storm got the belt. They’ll try to keep it in the family, and judging by Storm’s background that won’t be too hard. Instead of playing favorites and picking his friends as opponents, he should prove everybody wrong, prove he’s a man of the people and face the most dominant force ever in TNA, Samoa Joe. Storm looks at Joe and sees a dumb bitch. Joe already had his opportunity & the window is closed. Maybe he will give title shots to his friends because they’ve busted their asses, where has Joe been? He’s been getting beat by Crimson & Roode, why should he go to the front of the line? Joe points out that Roode already failed miserably with his chance.

Sting comes out to settle the dispute. He says both of them have strong cases. Tonight, Samoa Joe will take on Bobby Roode, and the winner will face James Storm for the World Title next week in Macon, Georgia. Ta-ta for now. Joe makes angry faces at Fortune.

Tonight, Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray! Gail Kim vs. Tara!

Christopher Daniels claims he did not say “I quit” in his match with AJ Styles. He says they did the old Royal Rumble 1999 trick (not in those words). AJ Styles can’t beat him, and neither can Rob Van Dam…

Match 1: Opening Contest
Christopher Daniels vs. Rob Van Dam

Christy Hemme is your ring announcer and she is looking good tonight! Nice back & forth action to start, Daniels grows frustrated with RVD’s unorthodox offense. Headlock by Daniels, off the ropes, shoulder block & Daniels brushes the shoulder off. He can do some gymnastics too, showcasing a nice cartwheel. AJ Styles joins Mike Tenay & Taz at the announce table as Daniels takes the advantage briefly before being introduced to the turnbuckle. Daniels drop toe holds RVD into the bottom turnbuckle and puts the boots to him. STO by Daniels gets two. Daniels eats a boot in the corner, but takes RVD down with a uranage…RVD avoids the BME but Daniels does not avoid the reverse enziguri. RVD with clotheslines, savate kick, RVD with the forward roll into the monkey flip! Daniels avoids the Rolling Thunder, but does not avoid a cross body from RVD! Daniels avoids the Five Star Frog Splash, RVD baseball slide dropkicks Daniels into the guardrail. RVD with the flying karate kick while Daniels is hung up on the guardrail! I’m sure it has a name. As I think about that, Daniels gets disqualified by hitting RVD with a toolbox on the outside!

Winner: Rob Van Dam (about six minutes)
This seemed like it was going somewhere until the random finish. Decent effort.

Daniels takes out a screwdriver & has evil intentions, but Styles chases him off and slaps hands with RVD. They cool.

Gail Kim, Karen Jarrett & Madison Rayne…are WALKING!

Traci Brooks was back there too (couldn‘t see her behind Karen, Karen‘s like a foot taller than Traci & everybody else here), and they’re all making their way to the ring. Gail tells people to stop with the e-mails, tweets & the texts asking “Why Gail Why?” She owes no one an explanation. But if you really want to know why she gave Velvet Sky a concussion & sent her home, she’ll tell you. Her whole career she just did what everybody told her to do. The only person who ever had her best interests in mind was Karen Jarrett. It’s not about the company she works for or the fans, it’s about her being the center of attention, the one who’s noticed, being the main eventer she always was and will be. Karen says that she promised Gail that if she stood by her side it would all pay off, so Gail will get a Knockouts title match at Turning Point. The sooner they get the belt off of Velvet and on the greatest female wrestler in the world, the better off they will be. Gail will not let her down, and will not let herself down. She asks for a piece of fresh meat so she can showcase her greatness.

Match 2: Gail Kim’s Return Match
Gail Kim vs. Tara

Gail attacks Tara on her way into the ring and wastes no time commencing with the beat down. Tara fights back briefly, but gets clotheslined down by Gail. Gail tosses Tara down, Traci was about to help her but she gets pushed away. Gail continues beating Tara up as we go to commercial…

Tara tries to fight back, but Gail continues to dominate, even getting Tara in her flying head scissors submission, but Tara counters with a side slam. Tara fights back now with punches and clotheslines. Flipping neck breaker gets a two count. Traci approves, kind of. Gail chokes Tara on the ropes, then hits Eat Defeat for the three count!

Winner: Gail Kim (about four minutes not including commercial)
Gail with a rather dominant win here over Tara in her return. I expected a more even matchup, but they’re pushing Gail pretty strong it seems. I’m fine with giving Gail a chance to shine.

Jeff Hardy talks about how he has his first match back tonight. He & Bully Ray have a lot of history together, tonight will be a test.

Eric Bischoff & Ric Flair talk about the situation with Garrett Bischoff. Ric, a multi-time Father of the Year award-winner, recommends tough love.

Match 3: TV Title Match
Champion Eric Young vs. Robbie E (w/Rob Terry)

Rob & Robbie joined up a month ago the last time these people were on Impact. I had absolutely no recollection of that, and I have to say that Rob is quite the downgrade from Cookie. Eric still has his beard and multiple title belts. Eric ties up with the referee for no apparent reason, then starts the actual match. EY with the Flair Flip! Belly to belly suplex by EY. Young motions for the piledriver, but Robbie backrops him out of it. And a crucifix pin gets the victory for Eric.

Winner: Eric Young (maybe a minute)
Yeah, this was a waste of time.

Rob & Robbie attack Young after the match. This lasts longer than the actual match. Tenay says they have post-match chemistry. I don’t think I want to know what that means. Young grabs the microphone and questions who punches somebody in their stomach. EY promises to bring in the Hollywood heavies. He’s bringing the Jersey Shore’s Ronnie to Macon, Georgia. I don’t know what Macon did to deserve that, and Rob & Robbie look…I guess we’ll go with “unimpressed”.

Eric Bischoff is heading to the ring!

Daniels says he’s up for doing the podcast with Colt, then discusses business with his agent on the phone. Kazarian tells Daniels that his issue with AJ has to end. Daniels kind of agrees and they will talk about it later.

Bully Ray talks about how he & Jeff Hardy have made history together. He doesn’t respect Jeff because rehab is for quitters.

Garrett Bischoff (did he tattoo “Bischoff” on himself just so we’d know he’s Eric’s kid?) recaps his history as a TNA referee. He used to idolize his father, but he doesn’t anymore. He asks who would want to hit their dad, and who would want to hit an old man.

Eric Bischoff enters the Impact Zone. He has important family business to take care of. His first-born son has decided to make things complicated. He tells Garrett to come on down for a father-son chat. Garrett is the only person in this company without a song & video, which actually surprises me. Eric says he’s a busy man & has a lot of things going on. Garrett embarrassed him last week, he’s willing to forgive that. He did not waste perfectly good semen on somebody that would fail him when he needed him most. He allowed him to learn the business from the inside out. He knew that someday, he could depend on him and he would do the right thing, but he let him down. He embarrassed the entire Bischoff family & dropped the ball. This isn’t the way Garrett wanted it to go down, but Eric doesn’t care. He’s going to give him some time to think about it, and Garrett will either apologize to him, or Eric will kick his ass. And I guess we’re actually going to wait until later for that.

I’ll just say it up front, I couldn’t care less about Eric Bischoff’s family problems. Nothing against Garrett, I have no idea if the kid has potential to be anything in wrestling, but I’m predisposed not to care about any of this stuff with him, Eric & Ric Flair. It is what it is, folks.

Flair says that’s an ungrateful punk kid living in his father’s shadow. He’s going to find that kid right now and talk about respect. Well, he’s not hard to find, Naitch.

Flair tells Garrett that his name is “God”. This is a business that needs young men. Flair doesn’t need to listen. He’s not big enough, man enough, no experience, no balls and such. Flair tells him that he needs to get his ass kicked, and he may come out to help. He’s gotta deal with his dad & with Ric Flair.

Jeff Hardy has a video package. He wants one last chance, and Jeff Jarrett can’t light up a crowd like the Charismatic Enigma. There’s a joke about “lighting up” there somewhere.

Jeff Jarrett enters the ring because it’s his world. The producer forgot one important piece of footage in that video package, Victory Road 2011. They can’t air footage from Turning Point 2006 because that son of a bitch didn’t show up for the main event he was supposed to be in. And Jarrett’s the heel here…why? Jeff Hardy enters the ring, and he & Jarrett go at it! Well, for a few seconds before security breaks it up. Bully Ray takes advantage of all this and attacks Hardy from behind!

Match 4: Jeff Hardy’s Return Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray

Ray has the advantage early, slapping the chest of Hardy. Hardy staggers around as we go to commercial…

Hardy pounds away on Ray as we come back, elbow in the corner, then the Whisper in the Wind! Ray blocks the Twist of Fate & kicks Hardy down. Nerve hold by Bully Ray! Hardy tries to fight back but Ray yanks him down by the hair. Body slam by Ray, elbow drop gets two. Hardy goes head first into the turnbuckle, an avalanche by Ray gets two. Ray misses an elbow drop & Hardy briefly fights back before getting slapped in the corner. Hardy kicks Ray in the corner, then hits the drug addict second-rope leg drop for two. Twist of Fate by Hardy, and a Swanton ends it.

Winner: Jeff Hardy (about six minutes shown)
My feelings about Jeff Hardy are pretty well-known by this point. On the bright side, he didn’t seem too rusty in his return, at least not compared to his usual efforts in the ring.

Christy gives Hardy a microphone. Hardy welcomes the fans back into his life. He’s impressed with his victory, but Jeff Jarrett is not! He attacks Hardy from behind, and the two on one beat down commences. Jarrett gets the table! But before too much fun can be had, Mr. Anderson comes out and makes the save.

Bobby Roode has a ton of things going through his mind. If he beats Joe he can live his dream.

Match 5: #1 Contenders Match
Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Roode

Roode’s new music tells us he is off the chain. I’m going to miss that Beer Money theme, that’s for sure. Jeremy Borash introduces the participants & plugs 5 Hour Energy. That stuff works, yo. Tieup into the corner, Joe fires away with punches, sending Roode to the mat. But Roode fights back with punches & kicks of his own. Whip reversed, but Roode clotheslines Joe down. Neckbreaker by Roode gets two. Chop. Roode runs into an elbow, but then tries to get Joe into the Crossface. Joe escapes to the floor. Roode follows but it’s a bad idea, as Joe takes the advantage with chops. Back in the ring it’s Roode running into a snap body slam for a two count. Joe brings Joe down with a big boot, then the back splash gets two. Joe stretches Roode on the mat, Roode fights out, but Joe sends him back down with a back elbow. Taz claims Joe is 300 pounds, which is outrageous since he was just introduced at 280. Silly Taz. Joe with the chinlock! Roode fights out, but Joe forearms him, atomic drop, but Joe runs into a spine buster! Punches back & forth now, Roode with a flying forearm, then a clothesline, Joe runs into a boot, Roode with the Blockbuster! Two count. Joe responds with a Death Valley Driver that gets two. Joe puts Roode up top for the Muscle Buster, Roode slips out & gets Joe into the Crossface! Joe counters into a rollup for two. Joe drives Roode knee first into the mat, Roode with the fisherman’s suplex for the three count!

Winner: Bobby Roode (about six minutes)
Decent match here. Nothing too special, but serviceable enough for a TV main event.

Roode will be getting a title shot on next week’s Impact. James Storm looks on from the entranceway and flashes the Fortune hand signal.

Eric Bischoff is going to show his son what tough love is all about.

Main Event Promo

Eric Bischoff comes on down with a sourpuss. He’s embarrassed that his relationship with his son has to be played out in front of a worldwide audience, but hopefully they can do this and then move on. He tells Garrett to come on down & do the right thing. Garrett enters. Eric wants to get something off his chest. There’s two sides to every argument, and Eric forgives him for getting caught up in the moment & being young & dumb. He asks Garrett to tell the world he’s sorry so they can go back to the way things used to be. Garrett looks to the crowd for approval, making Eric unhappy. He will not ask again! Garrett shakes his head, and will not apologize. Eric slaps him a couple times, then Garrett threatens him.

Ric Flair enters the ring. He tells Garrett to get his act together & apologize. He also wants Garrett to kiss his ass! Ric won’t screw around like his dad, he’ll really mess him up. APOLOGIZE. Garrett decks Flair! Flair kicks him low, then Eric hits him low! Knee to the non-existent balls. Chops & punches in the corner. Flair stomps him down while Eric watches. Eric cups his ear for an apology that doesn’t come. Flair stands on Garrett’s head and tells him to kiss his ass, and we end Impact with Ric Flair & Eric Bischoff embracing.

Well, I thought this show was better than last week’s. I had no use for the Bischoff stuff or Eric/Rob/Robbie, but the World Title stuff was fun, I thought Gail did nice in her comeback, and RVD vs. Daniels was ok. The Hardy match was fine, though I wouldn’t have jobbed Bully Ray to him.

So long & good night, everybody!

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