wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 3.16.22
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DADDY’S HOME!!!!
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BOOM!!!!
Adam Cole is out with his friends, Kyle and Bobby!
Match 1: Hangman Adam Page, Luchasaurus, and Jungle Boy vs ReDragon and Adam Cole
JB and Cole to start. Cole corners JB fast, hitting a back elbow, whipping out, misses a kick, ducks under a running leg, JB ducks under a knee, waist lock from Cole, JB breaks it, locks the fingers, walks up the ropes, falls, lands on his feet, rolls into the ring, hits a rana, dropkick to Cole, JB flips up, works the left arm, knee from Cole, tag to Fish. Bobby in. He works the left arm, twisting it until JB punches him in the face. Tag to Lucha, whip to Fish, hard chop to the chest, one for Cole, misses one for KOR, KOR kicks the left arm but Lucha hits a heavy chop anyway. GOOZLE!!! Cole grabs the boot of KOR and pulls him to the outside. Lucha hops over the top rope, Bobby kicks the back of the leg and Lucha eats apron. Fish sends Lucha into the ringost. Fish sends Lucha into the ring, we get a cravat from behind, KOR with knees off the tag.
Fish gets whipped into Lucha off the tag, Lucha blocks, kicks KOR away, elbows Cole, kick from Fish, but Lucha trucks both with a clothesline. Tag to Hangman. Page comes in with a kick to KOR, lariat to Fish, one for Cole. Another off the buckle to Cole. FALLAWAY SLAM TO COLE!!! Suicide dive to Cole, into the ring with a clothesline sends Fish out, another suicide to Cole and KOR!!! Back in and a pop-up powerbomb to Fish! 1..2….NO!!!! Page to the apron. Lowers the elbow pad. Buc—no! Fish rolls out of the ring! JB blind tags, hits the ropes, dives over Page onto all three of the men outside!!!! He grabs Fish, sends him into the ring, JB to the top rope, KOR on the apron, Lucha shoots him off, JB kicks Cole into a kick from Page. Page to the top rope along with JB. Lucha there to talk strategy. ALL THREE MEN HIT A MOONSAULT OFF THE CORNER!!! JEEEEZ. JB covers Fish. 1..2….NO!!!! JB lifts Fish, chops the chest, punch from Fish, chop from JB. KOR on the apron, ties himself up on the ropes, distracts the ref and Cole hits JB with a kick o the head. Fish corners JB. Tag from KOR. He runs with a forearm, another from Fish, KOR hits another, whip into a backbreaker and KOR flies off the buckle with a knee and a cover for 1..2..NO!!!!!
WE come back to Cole and Page meeting in the center of the ring and going at it hard. Cole with a pump kick, another to block an elbow, goes for a third, but Page ducks and lifts Cole for a Dead Eye! Fish knocks Page for a loop, Lucha comes in to stop him, KOR is there to attack Lucha, but JB flies off the back of Lucha with a DDT!! Page in with a clothesline to Cole! Lucha lifts KOR on his shoulders, Page has Cole on his shoulders. JB off the top rope, clotheslining both men off!!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Fish tags himself in, Page kicks him away, tag to JB.
JB with a back elbow, kick to KOR, elbow to Fish, whip is reversed, JB misses a right, Fish hits the ropes, blind tag from Cole, over/under from Fish and KOR! BOOM FROM COLE! Cover for 1..2….3!!!!
Winners: Adam Cole and ReDragon
That was an opener. Two highspots that I feel were a tad bit contrived, but it was with reason, and worked for what the match was as opposed to some others who tend to do things for no reason (coughcoughyoungbuckscoughcough), so these six guys get a pass. Solid action.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 13:49
Backstage, Keith Lee is with Tony, Ricky and Hobbs are there, too, and they promise there is no violence during this interview. Starks calls him Irish because today is his lucky day. Lee decided to do things his way, so they had to go out there and show him what happens. Should he go on Rampage this Friday, he’ll eat a spinebuster, again.
Lee laughs Starks off, calls him a little bitch, and walks away.
Regal is on commentary for the following, not ringside as assumed.
Match 2: Bryan Danielson and Jon Moxley (w/ William Regal) vs Chuck Taylor and Wheeler Yuta (w/ Danhausen, Trent Baretta, and Orange Cassidy)
Regal, “Pray tell, who is the demon wank?”
Moxley attacks Chuck out of the ring quickly while Bryan is left the legal man with Yua. He corners him then hits a high knee. Tag to Jon, who kicks the chest and locks the head. Jon hits some knees and a snapmare, then a running kick to the back. Tag to Bryan. Tag to Chuck. Chuck knocks Jon off the apron, kicks Bryan, flies onto Jon on the outside, back in and he gets a half Boston Crab! Jon into the ring, hits the ropes and kicks hard to Chuck. Looks loke Bryan got a tag. Jon hangs Chuck up on the top rope. Bryan hops down on the outside, grabs Chuck, and sends Chuck into the barricade. Jon drops Chuck then puts a boot to the face. Jon chops, another chop, right hand to the face, tag to Bryan. They each grab a leg and make Chuck a wishbone. Running kick from Bryan into the chest. Jon with hits to the back He locks the head of Chuk on the corner and hits a superplex then covers for 1..2.NO!!! Hammerlock from behind
Back from break and Yuta takes Moxley down, hits an inverted atomic dro, running elbow in the corner. He heads to the top rope, dives, and Jon ducks under, hits an elbow, sending Yuta out, but he comes right back in to eat a clothesline. Go behind from Yuta, GERMAN! Bridge! 1…2…NO!!!! Yuta with a chop. Another, right elbow, chop, elbow, Bryan distracts, CUTTER from Jon! Tag to Bryan. Jon holds Yuta up, Bryan hits the ropes, big clothesline sends Yuta down and covers for 1..2..NO!!!! Chuck there to stop it. He pulls Jon out of the ring, sends him into the barricade, PARADIGM SHIFT FROM JON!!
Bryan with the Yes kicks, with Yuta asking for more! Bryan is just killing him! Yuta YUTAS UP!!! Bryan misses a final kick, elbow from Yuta! In comes Jon, Yuta with punches, misses a right, SAITO SUPLEX! Bryan calls or the end, hooks the leg and shoulder into a suplex and a bridge for 1..2…NO!!!!!
Bryan stomps Yuta’s face in a few times then tags in Moxley, who locks in a Bulldog. Yuta taps.
Winners: Bryan Danielson and Jon Moxley
If the goal here was to make Yuta look good, they did alright, because any time Chuck was in the ring, he kind of slowed it down a bit. Bryan just caving that chest in was a sight to see, and Regal’s presence both on screen and on commentary was great.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 11:46
After the match, The Best Friends and Danhausen walk up the ramp. Yuta is in tow. He stops at the bottom of the ramp. He turns, looks at Regal, Moxley, and Danielson. Yuta walks into the ring, etends his hand to William Regal. Regal is grinning. He slaps the shit out of Yuta. Yuta turns and goes head to head with Regal. Bryan and Jon walk up, and all three are grinning. Regal tells him to prove himself a bit more and head on to the back, Sunshine.
FTR is backstage to talk about firing Tully. It wasn’t easy for them. Tully was checked out. When they won the titles, he was laser focused, but when they lost, he lost focus. They respect Tully, but things got out of hand.
Here come The Young Bucks. They tell FTR to fire their barber and stylist. You can hire the best Manager in the world, and it wont matter, because deep down inside, they’ll always be the second best tag team in AEW.
Ew. Matt. Don’t talk.
The Acclaimed call Kieth Lee Cleveland Jr. and that’s amazing.
IN come Hobbs and Starks to tell them to put Lee down.
SWERVE comes in to tell Starks that since he likes stealing the spotlight, how about Swerve steals his.
JERICHO is here!
He’s not alone. Lee grabs a mic, says they love Judas, right? They love being a part of all the fun, but they gotta thank Jericho. He allows us to sing it. Lee says if it was up to him, there’d be no Judas, no singalong, no nothin. Jericho needs to be idolized, so here he is, The Influencer, The Big One, Chris Jericho.
Jericho grabs the mic, says we are lucky enough to be alive during the Chris Jericho era. For over thirty years, we have lived through him as he takes us through classic five star matches, angles and storylines we will never forget, hell, he even builds companies like this. He carried AEW on his back for the first three months. You’re welcome. He says he reads what I write, and it’s hurtful. We don’t appreciate him, the roster doesn’t appreciate him, The Inner Circle doesn’t, Sammy walked out on him, Santana and Ortiz disrespected him, and their buddy Kingston embarrassed him. They are The Jericho Appreciation Society. They appreciate each other, they cant relate to the rest of the roster. They are nothing more than pro-wrestlers. A pro-wrestler has never been legendary or a millionaire, and the only reason Jericho was able to do this is because he is…A Sports-Entertainer. Lol. So this the route they’re goin?
Garcia has something to get off his chest. If Jericho is going to call himself that, then he is, too. His name is Daniel Garcia, and he is a sports-entertainer.
Jericho calls him the epitome. He is the Masque of the Red Death. January 6, 2019, a group of independent wrestlers were in a car crash in Buffalo. Someone crushed his fibia, his tibia, and the doctors told him he’d never walk again. Jericho donated money to that cause, and that man was Daniel Garcia. He appreciates Jericho.
Lee and Parker? 2Point0. Stupid name from bad creative. You’ll never hear it again. They use real names: Matt Manard and Angelo Parker. A year ago, Jericho got a call from his former best friend Kevin to put these two men on Talk is Jericho. At the end of that podcast, he realized they have passion and desire, and look at them now. That’s why they appreciate Jericho.
Then there’s Hager, who saved his life in Dubai, he is the Hand of the King. Hand of the King, who are they and what do they do?
HAGER: WE THE PEOPLE!
Wait…sory. They are the JAS, and they beat up Pro-Wrestlers. So there you have it; the newest reinvention of the Master Manipulator, and the last true genius Remember this date, March 16, 2022 – this is the day that the new era begins in AEW, The Era of the Sports Entertainer.
Match 3: Scorpio Sky vs Wardlow
Side headlock from Sky to start. Wardlow lifts him and tosses him away with ease. Sky backs into the corner and Lambert tries to motivate him. Sky back up. Circles the ring. Kicks form Sky, back elbows in he corner and he bites Wardlow’s head! Wardlow lifts Sky into the air and backs him into the corner. Shoulders to Sky, then he lifts Sky ono his shoulder and drops him down hard. Wardlwo to the outside, he grabs one of the random Lambert dudes and looks to powerbomb him, but Sky comes out of nowhere to attack him as we go to break.
We back and Sky is talking shit in the corner, raising the ire of Wardlow. Wardlow with the GOOZLE!!! Sky kicks, breaks the hold, hits some rights into the ropes, Wardlow reverses, locks the hips, and hits an overhead belly to belly! Cutter attempt, but Wardlow gets Sky on his shouylders. The crowd is hyped! Sky with fists to dorp down, looks for a TKO, b ut Wardlow shoves him and hits a freaking sick ass one handed spinebuster! GAHLEE! Wardlow calls for the powerbomb! He grabs Sky, locks the head, big lift, POWERBOMB!!!! ANOTHER ONE!!! Wardlow wants a third, we zoom out and he hits another, spins Sky for a fourth, but Lambert hops on the apron. Wardlow turns as Sky rolls out of the ring. Wardlow heads to the outside. He locks the head of Sky up.
SHAWN SPEARS IS HERE WITH SOME CHAIRS!! Wardlow stares him down, goads Spears down. Wardlow turns back to the ring, circles it, and MJF is here to shove Wardlow INTO THE RINGPOST!!!!
Ref is dealing wit Spears! Wardlow rolls into the ring. Sky rols Wardlow up, stacks him for 1..2….3!!!
Winner:
Total Rating:
Match Time:
Blonde dude with Lambert attacks Wardlow. MJF enters the ring, he has his ring on. Spears is still outside. Sky lifts Wardlow. Wardlow back elbows Sky, hits a kick to Spears, then turns to MJF! Grabs him! Looks for a powerbomb! But Spears is up! He hits a chair to the back! Another. Austin with a choke hold from behind .Sky hits a bunch of right hands! Another chair shot. MJF hands a stack of cash over to Dan Lambert, then removes his jacket. He waits for Wardlow to stand. MJF screams for him to stand. Big punch from MJF to Wardlow!
Jade gets some promo time. She says her giving another match is more like charity than opportunity.
IN the ring, we are getting ready for The Hardys!
Match 4: Private Party vs The Hardys
Matt and Quen to start. Quen extends his hand out for a thumbs down, but Matt clocks him. Matt works the arm. Tags in his brother, crowd wants it! Jeff to the 2nd rope. Axe handle. Whip to Quen, back elbow, double teaming with Hardyz, in Comes Kassidy, whip to the corner, Matt drops down. Poetry in Motion! Jeff with a snapmare, dropkick to the back. Cover for 1..NO! Cravat from behind by Jeff. Jeff with a shoulder tackle, hits the ropes, dives over Quen, hip toss to Quen. Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Jeff whips to the corner. Tag to Matt to the chants of Brother Nero. They double team Quen by flipping him up and slamming him down. Cover for 1..2..N!O!!! Back elbow from Matt. Elbow to the back of the head. Quens pins,hits a high enziguri. Tag to Kassidy, back elbows ddrop Matt. Leg drop and a standing shooting star. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Kassidy screams for Matt to get up, kicks him into the corner. Whip to the corner, reversed, Matt eats an elbow, Kassidy to the top rope, Matt attacks the back, RAZORS EDGE attempt, but Kassidy drops to his feet. He shoves Jeff, rolls outside, and Quen has Matt’s leg. They split the legs and pull Matt into the post.
Back from the break and Quen flies off the apron onto Matt on the outside. Quen grabs Matt sends Matt into the ring. Quen covers for 1..2..NO!!! Foot stomp and a neckbvreaker combo. Cover from Kassidy for 1..2..NO!!! Kassidy locks the head of Hardy, attacks the mid section, tag to Quen, and they double team Matt in the corner. Quen lifts Matt, hits some mid section shots, crowd wants Keff. Kassidy mocks Jeff. Private Party try for Poetry in Motion, but Matt catches Kassidy mid-air and hits him with a Rock Bottom!!! Tag to Jeff!!! Jeff in with a right, inverted atomic drop, he drops the legs on Kassidy, dropkick, elbow, cover for 1..2..NO!!! Jeff stacks Kassidy up fo ra pin. 1..2.NO!!! Jeff to the top rope! Quen crotches him! Side Effect on Quen! Another for Kassidy! SWAN—-NO! Jeff hits a splash off the top rope! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!
Jeff wants Kassidy to stand, Twist of Fa—no, Kassidy counters, Silly String attempt, Jeff pulls Kassidy off, double Twist of Fate! Kassidy back down! Jeff to the top rope! SWANTON BOMB!!!! Cover for 1..2….3!!!!!
Winner: The Hardys
I’m ok with this win, as it’s nice to see Jeff back in the fold, but the novelty will wear off quickly, because both Matt and Jeff are much slower than they used to be, and when they’re in the ring with a team like Private Party, it becomes very apparent.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 12:19
Andrade’s music hits, and he comes out with Butcher and The Blade and Bunny. They circle the ring, ready to pounce, but here comes Darby and Sting!!!! They slide into the ring to help, waiting for the attack. Andrade and Co think better of it and head to the back.
Red Velvet is backstage to talk to Leyla. She stook up for her, she had her back, but she has seen what she has become, and she will put a stop to it on Friday.
Commentary makes note of Britt coming out by herself.
Match 5: AEW Women’s Championship Cage Match
Britt Baker vs Thunder Rosa
Britt tries to escape immediately. Rosa catches her, pulls her down, and whips her, but Britt launches herself to the cage and tries to climb again. Rosa pulls her down, hits a right. Britt tries to leave again, Thunder grabs her, attacks the back. Back elbow from Britt. Right hand to the face, another, another, She corners Rosa, Rosa escapes, kicks the back, sends Britt into the cage! Rosa is favoring her leg already, Britt attacks the forehead, then hits a dropkick! Rosa sends Britt into the cage again, then scrapes her head against it. Britt is bleeding. Rosa attacks the wound, then drags her face against the cage. Rosa pulls back on the arms of Britt. Rosa corners Britt, climbs up, hits a few right hands as the crowd counts along. Rosa with a body slam. Rosa locks the head, Britt is woozy. She falls to her knees, rolls out of the ring, Rosa scrapes her head against the cage again. Rosa locks up for a suplex, Britt shoves her int othe cage, then sends her into it head first. Britt to the apron. Ref is checking on her head. Britt to her feet.
We are back, and Rosa has a chair! She smacks the back of Britt a few times, then kkicks and hits a Stunner for 3/16!!! Rosa with a clothesline in the corner! Swinging knees to Britt! Rosa rushes the corner, hits a dropkick to Britt hard! Rosa pulls Britt to the center of the ring and pins for 1..2…NO!!! Rosa is bleeding too. She gouges the forehead, but Britt attacks the midsection. Rosa lifts Britt, Britt lands on her feet. Go behind. Back elbow from Britt. SUPERKICK AND SHE HITS THE REF!!!! Rosa lcoks up behind her and this sends the ref to the outside!!! He is out!! Rosa with the Fire Thunder Driver! Cover for 1…2…3….4…..5….but there’s no ref!!!! Rosa pulls Britt to the corner. Rosa puts the chair on the body of Britt. She heads to the top rope. Britt is up! She smacks Rosa a bit, then piles some chairs nearby the corner. She’s got a good 6-7 of them a top of each other. She clocks Rosa one time then gets Rosa on her back!!! Britt falls back with an Air Raid onto the chairs!!!!! Britt screams SEND A REF!!! SEND A FUCKING REF!!! haha. Nice.
Here comes Aubrey! She enters the cage, runs with to count a pin by Britt. 1..2….NO!!!!
Both girls on their knees. They go back and forth with right hands. Britt yells at Aubrey, Aubrey gets in her face. Britt sets up some chairs, facing each other, as Rosa cowers in the corner. Britt sets up two more. Britt sets Rosa up on the top rope as Britt continues to stack chairs onto the prone four she set up. She puts another two as a second level of chairs. Britt to the top rope. Rosa with elbows! They are both on the top rope! Britt hits a right, Rosa hits one, they go back and forth! Rosa just shoves Britt onto the huge pile of chairs!!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Britt stands! SUPERKICK!!! She rolls outside. Britt grabs a bag of tacks!!! She swings them into the face of Rosa! Again! She sprinkles the tacks on the mat! Britt grabs Rosa, brings her over to the tacks! Rosa reverses, kick!!! Britt drops to a knee! Back body drop into the tacks!!! Rollup for 1..2….NO!!!!! Britt rolls Rosa into THE LOCKJAW!!!! BRITT HAS A GLOVE!!! SHE FLIPS THE CAM OFF! Rosa bites the fingers!!!! Britt floats over! Tries for Lockjaw!!! ROSA SLAMS BRITTS HANDS INTO THE TACKS!!!! Kick to the gut!! Powerbomb onto the tacks!!! Britt rolls to the outside! Rosa looks sick with the face paint and blood! Tacks are just sticking out of Britt’s back! CHAIRSHOT TO ROSA ON THE OUTSIDE!! Britt rolls back into the ring.
Rosa gets in. Britt stands. Right hand in the corner. Kick from Rosa, she locks the head. FIRE THUNDER DRIVE! Cover for 1..2…3!!!!!
Winner: Thunder Rosa
Did NOT expect that end, but I did expect that quality. Solid main event and Rosa made it seem like the biggest deal of her careeer – because it was. I kinda wanted to see Britt take it much longer than this, but also interested to see where they go!
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 21:08
End Show
