wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 6.22.22
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...Yo yo yo! Pop a rollie and check your 40s!
It’s Wednesday…you know what that means!
We start Dynamite with DANIELSON!! Tony welcomes us to the show and Bryan as well. He wants to just take the mic and not give it back to Tony.
I don’t mind.
Bryan says this week is a great week to be an AEW fan. This week is a great week to be a professional wrestling fan. Sunday is Forbidden Door, an interpromotional PPV with the two best companies in the entire world. We are going to see some excellent pro wrestling. Then, a week from today, you get nearly the complete opposite with the bloody spectacle that is Blood and Guts. Bryan loves how excited we are about the impending violence. He was expecting to be a part of both of those events. Jericho prodded Zack Ssbre Jr to challenge him to a match. Bryan was not only excited to prove that he was better, but also planned on crushing his trachea. Bryan was excited for Blood and Guts. Bryan has some good news and bad news.
The Bad News: Because of what Jericho and Hager did at Anarchy, Bryan is not cleared to compete at either Forbidden Door or Blood and Guts.
His mind is working at 100% capacity. He can read 500 words a minute, run two miles without sweating, so don’t worry about him coming back.
The Good News: He is a judgmental prick. Because he is a judgmental prick, he has really really high standards. So when he promises something will be amazing, it will be amazing. He has found the one person he trusts to take his place at Forbidden Door and at Blood and Guts, and we will all be astounded by what he does in AEW.
WHO?!?!?!
Don’t we know he came out of the bad guy tunnel? He’s not going to tell us! He wont tell Sabre, either! So tune in on Sunday to see the greatest technical match of our lives.
Bryan celebrates his smarmy self but here comes Zack Sabre Jr!!!!
Moxley is backstage to talk about the difference between business and personal. Next week will be personal. Blinding his best friend with fireball? Putting his partner on the shelf? Last week, they come after Moxley? In Vegas, they found out if JAS can fight, next week we find if they can survive. They are all survivors. God, he hates Chris Jericho. Man like that, driven by money, fame, ego…we’ll find out just how much they are willing to suffer and endure next week.
Before that, he’s got possibly the biggest match of his entire life. This means more to him than you can imagine. It’s been three years. He finally transforms into what he always knew he could be when he steps in the ring with The Ace. Tonight, it’s business. This Sunday, it’s personal.
Match 1: Orange Cassidy and Roppongi Vice vs Will Ospreay,
Lockup! We start with Rocky and Fletcher. They go back and forth until each gets a tag. Mark Davis and Trent in the ring now. Trent locks up from behind. GERMAN! Trent is already limping! Orange wants in!
He enters, Tag to Will. Davis sends Orange into the corner, Orange stops him, looks to put his hands in his pockets, ref holds him back, Orange puts them in! He rolls out of the corner, shotgun dropkick. Kip up! Tag to Rocky! Rocky tags in Trent. Whip to Orange is reversed, and Orange sends Rocky into the corner. Rocky hits another. Orange slowly spins up, sends Davis into the right hand, In comes Will, and we get a back body drop from Trent! Orange knocks Fletcher off the apron. We get a pose and head to break!
We are back and Trent tags in Orange, who comes into the rring where both Aussie Open are standing with their backs to Orange. He lazy kicks each of their legs, ducks under some rights, hits a rana to both men, locks the fingers of Fletcher then hops up to the top and hits a Rana to Davis!!! Tornado DDT to Fletcher!! KIP UP! FIVE STARS!!!!! Ospreay on the apron, Trent sends him to the outside. Rocky and Orange hit the ropes, Trent flies in the middle! All three to the outside onto their opponents!
Trent drapes Ospreay over the ropes, Rocky hits a dropkick, Trent dropkicks Will. Orange on the top rope! He falls with a splash! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! ORANE REMOVES THE ELBOW PAD! Will is on one knee! Orange runs, goes for Orange Punch, Chop from Will!!! Oreange goes for DDT, but Will slinks down behind, back elbow, Will runs up OC, Shoots him up into the air! Stundog Millionaire! Tago to Rocky, Tag to Davis. Rana from Rocky. Chop to the chest. Davis hits a HUE chop, knocking Rocky on his ass. Tag to Fletcher. Locks he head, sends Rocky into the corner, whip from Aussie, hitting Rocky in the corner, HARD!!! We get an assisted powerbomb/Alabama Slam HARD and a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Davis. Fireman’s into a kick, but Rocky catches the kick! He swings it into Davis! Sliced Bread to Fletcher! Enzigri from Davis! Orange flies off the top rope with a crossbody! Will in! Trent sends him out! Rocky and Trent with double knee to Fletcher! Tag to Trent! Rocky to the top rope! He gets pulled off, Will kicks high and Fletcher turns it into a Code Red! In comes Davis! He grabs Trent upside down! PILEDRIVER!!!! 1….2….NO!!!! Orange stops the pin! Will sends Orange to the outside! Will cartwheels OVER THE TOP ROPE, BUT ORANGE IS JUST CHILLIN!!! Rocky with a crossbody!!!
IN the ring, Trent launches off Fletcher and hits a DDT to Davis! Tag to Orange! Orange Punch to Fletcher! Fletcher collapses! Cover for 1….2……3!!!!
Winners: Orange Cassidy and Roppongi Vice
Man oh man, Orange can go! That boy Fletcher is good, too! I’ve never seen him outside of the past couple of weeks, but I’m for sure checking him out now.
Total Rating: *****
Match Time: 11:42
Cobb and O-Khan come down to chnge the numbers. United Empire hop up on the apron, looking to attack, but FTR is here!!! They enter the ring to stand by Trent, Orange, and Rocky.
Sonjay, Lethal, and tall dude are talking about going to India. Lethal gets a title shot, but Joe has been gone for almost one month! Sounds like Joe has two options, come face the music while injured, or forfeit the title and hand it over to Jay! The clock is ticking.
We return to Dynamite and Christian Cage is here! He’s wearing a turtleneck and brown long-sleeve jacket. Jeez man, how heel can ya get? 1
Tony wants to know what happened! Cage says he can stand here all night till we shut up if we’d like. He knows we aren’t all that smart, so he’ll give us one more chance. He’d appreciate a little decorum. SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!
You didn’t think he was going to let Jungle Boy eliminate him last year and get away with it, did you? More bothersome than that was the reaction of all of us when he got elmiinated. He is a legend in this business. He deserves more respect than to be cheered when he gets eliminated.
JB cost him a roster bonus and a fast track to the title shot. But here’s the thing; it got him thinking. Maybe if people like JB so much, he should check out the kids background. So he decided to go on social media and find out a bit more. What a cesspool social media has become, especially considering the wrestling corner. Losers tweeting away like our opinion matters, like we know anything. We know nothing. He is one of the best to ever step foot in this ring; he’s got it figured out, thanks.
During his research, he found out that JB was pretty damned talented. He was going to hitch the wagon, do minimal work, cash that fat paycheck. That’s all he cared about. You think he came back to elevate younger talent? Help the next generation? He came back to make a ton of money. We hear people complaining about money, and he has some advice for those people – try having a match that people actually talk about more than a week after it happens. The type of match that parents sit their kids down to watch over and over, that changes the industry, that they name PPVs after. Do that, until then, eat his crumbs and enjoy it.
He told JB he was going to get that money. JB does have the talent, but he doesn’t have the killer instinct. The final nail? The one time he doesn’t give advice, and doesn’t come down with him, Jungle Boy loses the titles. The gravy train ran dry, so now he is going to have to take control and get his hands dirty, and that pisses him off.
Last week, what Cage said to JBs mom and sister went viral, says Tony.
We see a video clip of what went down.
“You raised a piece of shit.”
Why, asks Tony, why to ladies at ringside?
Cage says he was only giving JB’s mom the chance to apologize, and she instead flipped him off. She’s only mad because she saw her knight in shining armor go off into the sunset. She was a little sweet on Cage, if you know what he means. She wanted him to be Jungle Boy’s father. He knows JB may look at him that way, but Cage doesn’t want to be his father. He has a father…but your father is dead. His father would be ashamed! To see him refuse to get up.
Enjoy your early retirement. Stay gone. Bec—-
HERE COMES LUCHA!!!!
Cage says he’s been trying to call Lucha, Lucha ain’t having it. GOOZLE in the corner! Cage says he’s hurting him. They need to talk about his career! Remember what happened to Marko!
Lucha won’t let go.
Cage tells Lucha he’s like a son to him. They need to talk, but in private. Not in front of everyone.
Cage whispers something in the ear of Lucha. Cage gives Lucha a hug. Lucha does not hug back.
BACKSTAGE, The Young Bucks are happy and standing by with Kyle O’Reilly. Will they be at the PPV this Sunday, hmmmmm, I think it’s a safe bet.
Kyle is pretty freakin far from OK. He should sue Sting. The Bullet Club will be present.
Match 2: Penta Oscuro vs Malakai Black
Penta shoves his fingers in Black’s face, Black fires back with a kick. Penta hits a kick, sending Black to the outsie, he rolls back in, hits an elbow, Black to the apron, Penta pulls him down hard, then hits the ropes and dives over the top rope onto Black on the outside! Penta hurts his back, sends Balck into the ring. Penta grabs Black, double underhook, Black shoots the legs, attacks the back with a forearm. Another forearm to the back. Hip is reversed y Penta, Black hops up and over, Penta over, BACKSTABBER! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Penta looks for an arm bar, Black rolls up for 1..2.NO!!! SLINGBLADE FROM PENTA!!! Black rolls to the outside. Penta slingshots onto the apron, Black trips him with a kick, then sends him into the barricade. Kick to the chest, and we go to break!
We are BACK and Black is up while Penta is down. Black lifts Penta, locks up from behind. Penta hits an elbow. Black shoves, clothesline from Penta! Another! Penta hits the ropes, wheelbarrow into a roll up, but he releases, hops onto the 2nd rope and flies off with a crossbody. Both men on the apron. Penta hits a hard chop. He locks the head and the arms, lifts up, but can’t do it. Black kicks him away. Enziguri from Penta. He sets up for another package but Black slinks into the ring. High kick to the side of the head, Penta rolls into the ring, Cutter to Black!!! Cover for 1..2.NO!!
Black to the top rope! Flies off with a stomp, misses, hits a knee strike that sends Penta to the outside! Moonsault off the apron!!! Black sends Penta to the ring. Double stomp!!! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Penta shoves Black, Black kicks him away, heads to the top rope. High kick from Penta! Penta grabs Black for Fear Factor! HE HITS IT OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! Penta can’t cover! Penta crawls over for the cover eventually. 1..2…NO!!! Black with a foot on the bottom rope! Penta with a pumphandle, but can’t do it! His back. He tries to kick, Black grabs the kick, spins Penta!
Winner: Malakai Black
Man these guys can go. A little air was left out due to the fact that we know Penta is unable to compete at the PPV, but that didn’t mean he slouched at all. They packed a lot in the ten minutes they were given. Damn.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 9:56
PAC runs out to help out his partner, but here comes Miro on the screen! He wonders if this title is for him. He will walk through the Forbidden Door, drag all the bastards and Pagans wit him, and he will redeem them all. He warns everyone, this Sunday, when he sends them to meet their maker, tell that coward The Redeemer wants to talk.
Match 3: Silas Young vs Hangman Adam Page
Lockup and Page works the left arm of Young. Young kips up, cartwheels out, spins the arm, Page does the same, regains contraol, snapmare and we get a stalemate!
Page gets Silas in the corner, chops him hard, Another chop. Silas sends Page into the corner. Hard chop. They go nose to nose. ANOTHER CHOP! Page chops him down and Silas drops to a knee. Whip is reversed and Silas pokes the eye! He snesd Page into the ropes, Page reverses and sends Silas to the outside. Page dives over, lands on his feet, Silas punches, sends Page into the ring, Page comes right back out with a clothesline! Page to the top rope! MOONSAULT!!
We are back and Page flips Silas, but he lands on his feet. Page grabs him sideways. Fallaway Slam! Page kips up after some stalling. Hard clothesline in the corner. Firemans, Silas slips off, sends page into the corner, gets sent to the apron, Page flies off the 2nd rope with a lariat! Dives out of the ring with a fist to Silas on the outside. He sends Silas nack in, Page to the top rope! Clothesline off the top! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Silas gets a fireman’s in the ring. Rolling senton and Silas lands on his feet.
Silas heads to the top, springboards off the ropes for a moonsault, Page moves, Silas lands on his feet, GERMAN FROM PAGE!!! Page to the apron. BUCKSHOT LARIAT! Cover for 1…2….3!!!
Winner: Hangman Adam Page
A nice enough showing for Salis.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:38
Adam Cole was on commentary for this, but he grabs a mic and asks who is ready for Story Time with Adam Cole!
But Jay White is here to apologize for interrupting. He feels like he owes Cole an explanation. As the catalyst of professional wrestling, he is responsible for all of this, responsible for making Forbidden Door as big as it can be. He would love to mke it about Bullet Club, and do a favor for a good friend, but his opponent still cant be Cole. Cole lost to Page…twice.
As for Page, he knows that he and everyone else is dying to know who he will face. It won’t be Page.
Page smacks the mic out of his hand. Jay White attacks! LOW BLOW!! Cole enters the ring. Jay attacks Page! Cole grabs the title. Jay stands and turns, and Cole looks to attack, but stops. Jay notices this, Cole lifts up Page.
HERE HE IS!!!!
The Rainmaker Kazuchika Okada!
He enters the ring, attacks Cole, then Jay, Page up! He corners Cole with stomps! Okada stomps out Jay in the corner! Page and he meet in the middle of the ring! Face to face! Cole tries to attack, Page sends him out, Okada tries for a Rainmaker, but Jay slinks out of the ring.
Okada gets lots of love from the crowd.
Backstage, Jade says that Red Velvet is injured, but the show must go on. Hogan tells Statlander that the joke is on her. Stokely is looking for a new baddie. He tells us how to be a baddie on Twitter. Jade says not everyone can grace the stage, they must be a top notch bitch. Please, keep the photos PG.
Athena and Kris Statlander reply saying they got Willow on their side, and Athena tells Jade to cut the shit.
Match 4: Marina Shafir vs Toni Storm
Shafir starts with a kick, dropping Toni down hard. Both women up, Marina shoots the leg, Toni locks the head and brings her down for 1..NO! Shafir reverses, tries to lock in an arm bar, but Toni breaks the hold with the ropes. Shafir lets Toni stand then shoots the leg again. Toni tries to turn it into an abdominal stretch, but Shafir hits a hip toss. She picks the ankle, turns Toni onto her stomach, Toni breaks the hold, stands, side headlock, tries to trip, but Toni hits a dropkick! Whip to the corner, Shafir trips up Toni. She hits the ropes, Toni follows, high kick from Toni. Shafir falls after the kick. Toni to the apron, Shafir kicks her out to the mat. Shafir distracts the ref, and Nyla just hits a Senton for fun.
We are back, and Toni is hurting on the outside. Shafir drops down to the mat outside, grabs Toni, and sends her head first into the apron. Ouch. Near the ramp, Shafir hits a hard hip toss, then sets Toni up by the steps. She oes for a kick, misses, and Toni hits a tornado DDT off the stairs! She grabs Shafir, sends her into the ring, follows, grabs and attacks the back! Shafir tries for another toss, but Toni blocks and hits a German! HIP ATTACK FROM TONI!!! Nyla distracts. AGAIN!
Toni kicks the ropes, Shafir with a pumphandle, Toni lands on her feet, rolls up, stacks up Marina! 1…2….3!!!!!
Winner: Toni Storm
Yeah, I’m gonna need Marina to get a bit more practice off of television for a bit. She looked clunky and uncoordinated.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 7:23
Nyla after the bell! Shafir joins the fun!
Here comes Thunder Rosa!! Dropkick to Shafir! Rose sends Shafir outside, Toni grabs the title. She goes to hit Nyla with it! Toni turns to see Thunder wanting her title back. Toni hands it over, and they have some words.
Sting and Darby are backstage, and Darby doesn’t think Kyle is lying about not being medically cleared. They will not be coming Sunday alone. One by one, they’ll take Undisputed Elite out. They will keep kicking bodies down the heel till no one is left. At Forbidden Door, it’ll be showtime.
Match 5: Hiroshi Tanahashi and Jon Moxley vs Chris Jericho and Lance Archer
Jon grabs Jericho and beats his ass on the outside. He corners him while Tanahashi works over Archer in the ring. Dropkick to the leg of Archer. Tanahashi hits the ropes, Archer with a half nelson, full nelson! SLAM! Tag to jericho who just hopped on the apron. Right hand to the face! Tanahashi with rights to Jericho, sending him into the corner. Jericho whips, hits the ropes, goes for a bulldog, Tanahashi sits Jericho on the 2nd rope and hits a forearm to the back! Tag to Jon, who comes in and hits a bunch of elbows to the shoulder and chest of Jericho. Moxley bites the head of Jericho. Clothesline sends Jericho to the outside. Moxley follow,s grabs the hair, punch to the face! Moxley sends Jericho into the apron. He then sends him into the barricade!
Sammy is here! He distracts on the outside and Jericho hits a dropkick off the 2nd rope. Jericho pulls Jon into the ring, Jericho grabs the legs, catapult into the bottom rope. Tag to Archer.
We are back from break and Jericho goes for a double underhook, Tanahashi reverses, Jericho shoots the legs, Tana with a cradle! 1..2..NO!!! A single leg code-breaker by Jericho gets a 1..2.NO!!! Jon in to stop the pin! Archer sends Jon out, he runs right back in, Archer doesn’t see, turns, SUICIDE DIVE FROM MOXLEY!!!
IN the ring, Jericho goes for Judas Effect, Tana ducks and drops him, stomps him, then heads to the top rope! He dives with a crossbody!!! Jericho rolls through! Grabs the legs! WALLS OF JERICHO!!!!! Moxley in! CUTTER TO STOP THE WALLS!!!! Archer in with a Big Boot! He goes after Tana, but he hits a Slingblade on Archer! All four men down! Tag to Jon! Tag to Archer! Clothesline to Archer! Another! Still standing! Right hand to Mox, he returns, Archer grabs and sets up for Blackout, but Moxley floats down!
Surprise PARADIGM SHIFT!! Tag to Tanahashi! He heads to the top rope! He dives with a frog splsh! Cover for 1..2….3!!
Winners: Hiroshi Tanahashi and Jon Moxley
A match that was twelve minutes but didn’t feel like 12 minutes. It didn’t blow anything out of the water, was a nice enough way to showcase Tanahashi with some familiar people and give enough hype for this Sunday.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 12:03
Moxley goes face to face with Tanahashi. They talk some shit, then we see Kingston attacking Jericho, and Sammy! Here comes Yuta to even the odds! Eddie just tosses a chair to the face of Sammy.
HERE COMES SUZUKI!! He is grinning! Yuta attacks! It’s a bad idea! He gets some knees and HARD RIGHTS. Moxley and Tanahashi will not remove eyes from one another. The rest of JAS come out to attack! Suzuki smacks Wheeler wih a chair across the back!
HERE COMES SANTANA AND ORTIZ!!
Moxley and Tanahashi are still staring one another down! Archer is up to join the fray. Frey? FREIGH? What is it?
Refs are trying to stop the madness but they ain’t gonna. W get Yuta in a tub of popcorn. Moxley and Tanahashi still staring each other down. Yuta inally gets some offense on Suzuki.
Y’all….what is this? Lol.
End Show
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