wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 7.20.22
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...It’s the most
Wonderful time
Of the weeeeeeek!
It’s Wednesday…you know what that means!
We are wasting NO TIME and getting straight to….
Match 1: Brody King vs Darby Allin
SHOTGUN DROPKICK to Brody as soon as the bell rings! Brody to the outside! Darby to the outside, but Brody stuffs him then holds him up with one hand against the post. Dary shoves his face away, Brody enters, Brody misses a clothesline but hits a right hand and STUFFS Darby, causing him to flip backwards midair. Brody lifts and hits a hard chop to Darby, dropping him down hard. Darby hops up on the back, tries for a sleeper, Brody pulls the neck, snapmare, senton to Darby! Brody corners Darby, hits a HUGE chop in the corner. Brody sits Darby on the top rope, hits another chop, Darby kicks away, flies for a tackle, but Brody just shucks him off like nothing. Brody swings Darby on to the apron. Darby falls to the ground outside, and Brody follows. He sends Darby into the barricade hard. Ref starts the count, but Brody doesn’t really care. He continues to chop Darby away. At 3, Brody sends Darby into the ring and follows. Darby tries to fight back. Brody with a HUGE right hand, knocks Darby on his ass. Damn. Brody lifts Darby, chops him back down. Stomp from Brody. He lift Darby and sends him to the outside.
We are back from a break, and Brody shoots Darby into the ring. He moves towards the ropes like a zombie crawler and slinks to the outside again. He grabs a belt, looks like he was recently wearing it. Darby whips it around the legs of Brody and locks Brody’s legs up, then pulls him to the outside and beats him down with right hands! Darby enters the ring, dives through the middle rope and cannonballs himself into Brody! Darby sends Brody back into the ring, hits the corner, rushes with a coffin splash, another, but BRODY CATCHSE HIM WITH A SLEEPER!!! Darby walks up the ropes, and Brody chops the back! He hangs Darby in the tree of woe, and chops the chest, then lifts Darby and chops the back, pulls him back down and chops him again. Brody rushes the orner, tries for a cannonball, but Darby pulls himself up. He runs. CODE RED! Cover!!! 1..2…..NO!!!!! Darby rolls through, lands on the bak of Brody, locks the arm behind Brody! Brody breaks it! Darby switches to a rear naked! Brody to his knees. He gets to one foot, another. Brody stands, He grabs Darby by the neck and cannonball Darby into the corner! Both men on the apron, Darby pulls Brody into the exposed turnbuckle, he goes for a stunner, but Brody caches him and hangs him over the ropes with a Sleeper! Brody drops him to the outside, and the ref starts the count. Ref hits 5. Brody is ok with the countout, it seems. Darby hits 7, Brody appears to be busted open in the back of his head, possibly.
Darby enters the ring at 9!!!!! Brody is pissed! He grabs Darby, flips him, GONZO BOMB!!!
Winner: Brody King
Holy shit, man, Darby made Brody look like a fucking monster! Darby can take several ass kickings, and they’ve done such a good job with Darby the character that the offense and battle he had here was more than believable. What a banger.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 12:33
Brody King grabs Darby, lifts him into a sleeper! Brody wants Sting!
HERE HE IS!!!!
Brody drops Darby. Sting walks down the ramp, hops on the apron, Brody pulls Sting in. Sting ducks a move, sends Brody into the corner, looking for Stinger Splash, but the lights go out!
They come back on, and Malakai Black is in the face of Sting. Brody with a sleeper from behind! MIST TO THE EYES OF STING!!!! Brody holds on until Sting goes down.
MIRO IS HERE!!!!
WHY?! WHO THE FUCK KNOWS!
Miro stares down the two behemoths in the ring. He gives a smirk, Malakai smirks back.
We are backstage with Cole Carter.
Here comes Stark and Hobbs to talk about Carter swimming with “the fishes.” Starks has been FTW Champion for well over a year for vey good reason.
Carter stops him, saying his future will look real similar to his past when he beats Starks for the title, tonight.
Ok, sure.
IT’S THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WOORRRRLLLLDDDDDD!! ORANGE CASSIDY ON COMMENTARY!!!
Match 2: Wheeler Yuta and Jon Moxley vs The Best Friends
Jon and Trent to start. Jon controls the wrist with a hammer lock. Elbows from Trent. Chop to Jon! Chop from Jon. They trade back and forth in the center of the ring, Trent tries to kick, and Jon hits a dragon screw. Tag to Yuta, Trent kicks jon away and tags in Chuck. LOCKUPPPPP!!!!! Chuck corners Yuta, ref breaks it up. Chuck backs up. Chuck twists Yuta into the corner, re breaks it up again. Yuta shoves Chuck away, lockup, side headlock from Chuck. Shoulder tackle. Cover for 1..NO! Yuta is upset. Yuta gets some convo from Jon, then ets lifted, and turns into a side headlock. Yuta reverses, locks the head, Chcuck backs into the ropes, ref breaks the hold. Tag from Trent and he drops Yuta with a double leg. We miss a possible slap. Yuta shoots the legs, mounts and hits some rights. The ytrade blows in the middle of the ring. Yuta gets the upperhand, hits a bunch of elbows. Manhattan Drop, Enziguri, locks the hips, Ttent blocks, SAITO SUPELX!!!! Right hand to the face of Yuta. Again, again, again, beating him down against the ropes. Chuck comes in to stop Trent, Yuta with a HUGE right to Chuck! Trent drops Yuta with a punch to the neck! Chuck, on the outside, sends Yuta into the barricade. Again, with a toss to the barricade!
Backstage, Daniel Garcia is watching the screen like a normal person.
Moxley gets tagged in, rolls to the ground, hammers some elbows into Trent’s neck! He sends Chuck to the outside, sends him flying over the time keepers table, then gets back in and runs into an elbow. Trent to the 2nd rope, flies off. CUTTER!!!!! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!!! Stomps from Jon to the face over and over!! Tag to Yuta! Chuck enters the ring, pulls Trent off Jon’s shoulders, Jon grabs Chuck Trent crotches Yuta, Chuck sits Moxley on the corner, PILEDRIVER FROM CHUCK TAYLOR!!!! Chuck grabs Yuta, PILEDRIVER!!!! Trent with a piledriver of his own!!! Cover for 1…2…..NO!!!!!! Trent lifts Yuta, Chuck to the top rope, Yuta slinks behind, Chuck drops to the apron, Yuta shoves Trent into Chuck, Ebow strike, he slinsk down behind Trent, Trent sits on his fucknig head!!! Jon in to stop the pin! Chuck in! Clothesline for Chuck! All four men down!
Jon wants a tag. He rolls to the apron. Yuta crawls. Chuck to the corner. TRENT KNOCKS MOXLEY OFF THE AAPRON! He stares down to Yuta, Yuta with a right, chop to the chest, tag from Chuck, Yuta with a guillotine! Trent tries to enter the ring, Jon is there to grab his foot and get the Figure Four on the outside!!! CHUCK SUPLEXES YUTA INTO THE CORNER!!!!
AWFUL WAFFLE!!! YUTA switches this into a seatbelt pin and a surprise 1..2….3!!!!
Winners: Jon Moxley and Wheeler Yuta
Funny how this was 100% different than the opener, yet no less amazing. My first concern was that perhaps Yuta was getting his ass handed to him just a bit too much, but the fact that Chuck helped train him and Trent never liked him really helped. Once that subsided, we had a sick ass match. Another banger. Lordy.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time:11:42
Up next, we celebrate with the NEW Tag Team Champions!
Tony’s got some questions for the duo. He gives them some congrats.
Swerve says he’s a hip hop mogul, and we see Kevin Gates in the crowd. Swerve shouts out the new album.
Lee wonders when Gates is dropping the deluxe. But first, he must express his eternal thanks. Not just to Swerve, the opportunity, but also to all of us. Lee exposes the new shirt, says they appreciate us. They are at the top, and they don’t look down. So if someone wants a chance, they better reach. With that said, how bout a toast to this reign. May it be…limitless.
We’ve got someone that objects! It’s STERLING AND NESE! There will be no toast. STERLING warned Keith. He’s an idiot. They got lucky with the title, and Lee got lucky Swerve didn’t stab him in the back. The people against Swerve petition is almost complete, and they can remove Swerve from the roster.
Nese swipes at their cake. Lol. Rude. He then sips some champagne.
Sterling wants Kevin Gates to sign the petition, too. He saw Gates in the back, got excited, thought it was Young M.A. hahahahaha
Gates says he aint singing. Sterling says Gates is untrustworthy and his music sucks. Gates hops the barricade, looks to punk Sterling, but Nese stands in front. Gates grabs the chain and clocks Nese in the face. Sterling is irate. He fans Nese, turns, and Strickland has the cage! He sends it into the face of Sterling as his muic hits.
A lil too WWE for my liking, but short.
Backstage, Silver and Reynolds want to talk to Butcher and Blade. Silver says as we know, he’s called The Meat Man, which makes Butcher his favorite wrestler! Silver got him a shirt that says BUTCH! Reynolds says they got him one, too.
Damn, Butcher and Blade straight up beat that ass, dropping Reynolds on a knee then looking to send Silver into the wall, but here comes Hangman to stop the barrage.
Christian Cage and Luchasaurus are here for some tag team action.
Match 3: The Varsity Blondes vs Luchasaurus and Christian Cage
HEADBUTT FROM LUCHA TO PILLMAN! Ha! Tag to Griff, who comes in for an elbow strike, another, a third after a tag from Brian. Huge kick from Brian. Lucha no sells, tackles both, hits a clothesline to knock both down hard.
GOOZLE TO GRIFF! Chokeslam ONTO Brian Pillman! Tag to Cage. Cover. 1….2…3!!!
Winners: Luchasaurus and Christian Cage
Dino squash!
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:00
Cage gets on the shoulders of Lucha ala Jungle Boy…
BUT JUNGLE BOYS MUSIC HITS!!!!!
HE’S HERE!!!! JB is pissed! He has a chair with him!
Luchsa waits on the outside of the ring. JB walks up to him. Lucha waits. JB stands with the chair.
LUCHA MOVES ASIDE!!!!
JB RUSHES THE RING WITH THE CHAIR!! JB chases Christian through the crowd! Lucha has been cured by the music!!!! CHRISTIAN IS VECNA!!!
The Gunn Club is backstage with miss hottie. Why did they decline the match with The Acclaimed?
Why would they accept a match. They carried them for months. Those two have been cut out of their lives. The are sick of Max putting them in their raps. Friday, he wants Max Caster ina rap battle. Winner picks the stipulation.
Match 4: FTW World Championship Match
Ricky Starks vs Cole Carter
Starks starts with a kick, then a right hand, and another. Starks corners the kid, hits a hard chop. Crows loves Ricky. Ricky with a running elbow. Whip to the corner, and a clothesline sends the kid down hard. Ricky poses and the crowd LOVEESSS ITTTT. Whip to the ropes, Carter hits a dropkick. Whip out of the corner, reversed, Starks eats a kick, Cole flies off the top rope with a crossbody. Clothhelsinre sends Ricky to the apron. Right hand sends Ricky to the floor.
We back, Starks misses a spear, Carter with a modified stunner. Carter to the top rope, goes for a 450, but Starks rolls out the way! SPEAR! Cover for 1..2…31!!
Winner: Ricky Starks
Y’all better be careful, cuz Ricky is blowin up fast.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 6:05
Starks gets some mic time. This was his first challenge, but he’s got more in the tank, and he wants to keep it goin. He wants another challenge.
Here comes……DANHAUSEN!
It is he….Danhausen. It’s Danhausen. He would like to accept right now.
Starks says he didn’t mean RIGHT NOW. How bout this; next week, Ricky Starks vs Danhausen.
Backstage, Tony is with Kris, Athena, and Willow. Kris has gotta sit this one out. Leila not being here is a sign, though. Stat wants the Women’s title, Athena wants the TBS title. Willow says her a….ya know whaat. Nah, bad promo. Moving on.
FTR IS HERE!!!
Cash says he can never get used to this reaction. He follows up with a secret – 2022 has been a pretty decent year. They’ve had some big matches, and nothing was bigger for them than the first time they faced The Briscoes. They went to war. Death Before Dishonor, FTR vs Briscoes II. He respects them. For 20 years, they’ve helped lift tag teams up, but DBD, two out of three falls. They will not take what they’ve worked for away from FTR. They respect them, but they will have to take the titles from their cold, dead hands if they think thy’re going to get em.
Dax says there was a 5 yr old little girl back home. Parents took her in for a routine checkup, and found an irregular heartbeat. Doc sends them to the cardiologist, and they find out the 5 yr old girl had a hole in her heart. The doc told the parents if she worked hard, that hole would close up on its own, but if not they’d have to get her surgery. Three years pass, the doc checks the heart, and the hole is completely closed. This girl fought her ass off. That 8 year old girl? Dax’s daughter.
If that little girl will fight that hard for something not promised, then daddy’s gotta do the same thing.
Saturday night, PPV, Death Before Dishonor, Dax is gonna fight like an eight year old girl, and he’s gonna beat their ass.
Backstage, Jay Lethal gets some promo time against Joe. Sonjay shows anger that the mention of Christopher Daniels. Jay says it’s a shame they gotta wait for Joe to show up to work.
Daniels is here, says he wont waste his breath. He’ll get his job done in the ring, but if Jay wants some action, Daniels will be in the ring on Friday.
Match 5: Kiera Hogan and Jade Cargill vs Willow Nightingale and Athena
Athena tries to lock up, but Jade drops under and tags in Kiera. Lockup and monkey flip. Arm drag from Athena, duck under , misses. Leg sweep, Kiera slams her down, but Athena kips up and hits a hard right. Tag to Willow. Waist lock, its broken, Willow flexe, Kiera grabs the left leg and shoves Willow down then hits the ropes and hops over, ducks under, dropkick is missed. Willow rolls over Kiera then hits a low crossbody. Tag. Willow bodyslams Athena onto Kiera. Athena covers 1..2.NO!!! Right hand to Jade. Athena sends Kiera to the outside. Tag to Willow. She heads to the apron, runs, and hits a stereo blockbuster to both girls on the outside.
We are back Jade stops a pin after a spinebuster! Athena enters, Jade enters, they go face to face. Rights from each girl,Jade misses a kick, Athena misses a dropkick <Jade kicks her in th face, sendin her into the corner. Running for a splash, but Jade kicks her away, dives, Jade catches her. FALLAWAY SLAM! KIP UP!!!! Athena with a kip up!!!! Jade turns, Athena blocks, Jade lifts Athena, Athena drops jade with double knees!!! Jade leaves the ring. Athena follows, Kiera rushes her Athena grabs her by the legs, struggles a bit, powerbombs her on the apron. From behind, Stokely gets in th face of Athena. Athena shoves him and Jade hits a big boot to Athena into the steps.
In the ring, Kiera hits a jawbreaker. Tag to Jade. Jade in, Willow with a cradle! 1..2….NO!!!!! Jade lifts Willow, slams her down and covers for 1..2.NO!!! Jade finishes it and gets a cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: Jade Cargill and Kiera Hogan
Well, it wasn’t pretty. Jade is growing, but as you can see here, it REALLY depends on her opponent.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 8:23
ThunderStorm is backstage with Tony. She will be defending her title next week. She is excited to face the best of Japan.
Here comes Britt and Co. They need less ThunderRosa promos. Take the mic away from her. Good luck, just kidding, hope they lose. On Rampage, Jamie Hayter and Britt in action.
Match 6: Barbed Wire Everywhere Match
Chris Jericho (as The Painmaker) vs Eddie Kingston
JAS is hanging above the ring, Ruby Soho is ringside with the controls for the cage.
Eddie makes his entrance in all smiles, arms wrapped in gauze up the elbows. The mic Roberts has is wrapped in barbed wire. Eddie grabs it and attacks Jericho immediately! Eddie: “You’re gonna bleed! Shark Week!”
He rubs the mic against the forehead again and rolls outside to choke Jericho open with a shirt. Eddie swings Jericho towards the apron and bites the forehead of Jericho. Jericho attacks the mid, but Eddie sends him into the table. Jericho grabs the bell and clocks Eddie. He grab Eddie, sends him over to a barbed wire covered table, and tries to slam him into it. Eddie attacks the mid, tries to send Jericho into the table. He does so, face first. Eddie removes the straps, clocks Jericho in the forehead.
Into the ring, and Eddie sends Jericho INTO the barbedwire ropes!!! Eddie grabs table and lays it down on the mat. He grabs Jericho, rubs his face against the barbed wire.Eddie grabs a chair with barbed wire and smacks Jericho across the back! Eddie looks for a powerbomb, but Jericho reveress and sits Eddie on the top rope. Jericho climbs, hops ip with a rana and drops Eddie onto the barbed wire!!!
We are back and both men are bleeding now. Eddie sends Jericho into the ropes, He grabs Jericho from behind and sits him on the top rope. On the outside, Eddie sets the table up. Jericho is stirring on the apron. Eddie grabs Jericho, right hand. Jericho punches the stomach, Eddie attacks the forehead, looks to send Jericho into the table, tries for it, SUPLEX ONTO THE TABLE ON THE OUTSIDE!!!
TAY CONTI runs out in all white! She attacks Ruby Soho! Ruby canr fight her off with one arm. Anna Jay is here to stop her! Tay is trippin, Anna Jay stops, turns to Ruby, and CLOCKS HER!!!! Anna Jay sends Ruby into the ringpost! Her and Tay hug. Anna Jay grabs the controls of the shark tank.
Tay seemingly cannot open the cage, so Garcia and Parker slide through the cage and run into the ring to stop the pin! Hager and Menard finally make it in the ring, and they all stomp Eddie out.
HERE COMES ORTIZ, CLAUDIO, YUTA, MOXLEY!!
In the ring, Ortiz hits Jericho with a sock filled with bad assery. T-Bone suplex to Jericho into the table! Eddie has a chair! Codebreaker from Jericho! But the chair hits Jericho! Jericho covers! 1…2….NO!!!! Jericho attacks with the chair! He tries for a Lionsault, but Eddie tosses the chair in the air! Spinning backfist from Kington! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!
Eddie rolls out and grabs some loose razor wire. He wraps Jericho up and locks in a Stretch! He pulls back!!!
Sammy is here! Superkick!!!! He kicks Eddie away! Jericho is up! JUDAS EFFECT! Cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Chris Jericho
Total Rating:
Match Time:
Jericho isn’t done! He is about to hit another one, but Eddie sends Sammy to the outside, then grabs Jericho and takes him to the apron. He locks Jericho up and tosses Jericho onto a bed of barbed wire! We end the show with Jericho writhing in pain.
End Show
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