Acero’s WWE Smackdown Review 8.28.20

Keep Refreshing For The Latest WWE Smackdown! Results

---

The BIG DOG is back! And the crowd goes….boo? Who knows. Let’s go!!!

---

That bald dude Pearce is talking to his security team, saying things are wild right now. Reigns, Bray, and Braun are wylin out, and Retribution is still around, so be on your toes. They break.

Pearce enters Mr. McMahon’s office, offers a hand shake, then a dap, then an arm. Vince says that tonight, he’s got a mission for Pearce. This will take him into the presence of Roman Reigns. He’s back. Vince brings up the Triple Threat for this Sunday, and tells Pearce that he needs signatures on the contract before the night is over. He wants Pearce to start with The Fiend. If you can’t find him, head over to Bray Wyatt. Speaking of fun, Vince has given Pearce some attire for later tonight. By the way, say hello to Huskus. Vince loves him.

The IC Champ is here.

Jeff says it’s good to be standing in the WWE Thunderdome tonight. After what AJ did to his knee, he is tickled pink. You can see the proof of this as his facepaint and shirt both have pink. He is about to talk all positive, but the dark and brooding AJ Styles comes out to interrupt.

AJ wonders if this is real. Jeff seems pretty proud of himself about last week. Not about his accomplishment, but what he did Jeff is no hero. Jeff is much more than that. Jeff is a liar and a cheat. AJ has had knee injuries before, and he didn’t whine and cry to get an illegal object on his knee. Jeff had a plan; he knew exactly what Jeff was going to do with that illegal object. Clearly, AJ had him beat. Jeff knew what he was doing and knows how to play the system. That same doctor that Jeff cried to will not medically clear AJ to compete tonight, and it’s all Jeff’s fault.

Jeff says that sucks cuz he was about to issue an open challenge to anyone except AJ.

AJ says Jeff is working the system. Robinson the Ref is in the ring to tell AJ he’s gotta go. AJ says Jeff is taking advantage of the system. AJ steps forward and Jeff punches him in the face.
Considering AJ isn’t medically cleared, that’s kind of rude…

Match 1: Jeff Hardy vs Shinsuke Nakamura
Lockup to start and Jeff backs Shin into the corner. Shinsuke smirks as the ref backs Jeff up. Lockup again and Shinsuke shoots the leg, waist lock, jeff reveres, Shinsuke break it and gets a wrist lock. Jeff reverses. He drops an elbow. Jeff twists the left hand. Nak backs jeff up on the ropes. Kick from Shin, side headlock. Jeff tries to escape, hits the ropes, and Shin hits a shoulder tackle. Shin runs the ropes, hops over, and gets arm dragged then an Atomic Drop. Snapmare. He goes all Charlotte Flair with the Natural Selection then covers for 1..2..NO!!! Whip to the ropes and Jeff attacks the left arm. Shin holds onto the ropes. Jeff kicks, hits the ropes, Shinsuke dropkicks the knee. Another kick from behind to the injured knee.

During the match, Cesaro cuts a promo who says he steps away for one second and when he returns, Shinsuke is gone. Shinsuke is not more ambitious, just more impulsive. Respect and good luck to him “partner.”

Ooooookaaaayyyy

Back to the match, and Shinsuke boots the leg of Jeff against the corner. Kicks in the middle of the ring to the chest from Shinsuke. A third is blocked. Jeff kicks, Shin grabs the boot, Jeff turns into a kick and bounces off Shinsuke. Axe handle to the head, whip to the corner. Jeff rushes the corner and gets a knee from Shin. Shinsuke lays Jeff across the ropes, goes for a high knee, Jeff floats to the apron, hits a right hand, another, looks to AJ for fun, then tries to suplex. Shinsuke reverses, Jeff buckles. He punches Shinsuke off the apron then leaves the ring. Gee, I wonder what will happen…

Jeff sends Shinsuke into AJ Styles with a toss. Didn’t see that coming.

We’re back from the break, and Shinuke has Jeff’s knee locked up. Jeff kicks out of the hold as we see what we just saw. Jeff kicks out of the corner. Jeff with a right hand to Shin, a whip to Shin, and Jeff fires back with a right hand ot the face. Inverted Atomic Drop. Leg Drop to the dick. Dropkick to the face. Jeff just…falls on Shinsuke for a pin. 1…2..NO!!! Both men up. Shinsuke with a kick, sends Jeff down hard. Jeff tries to stand in the corner. Shinsuke sends his face into the buckle then sits Jeff on the corner. Shinsuke attacks the back, Jeff elbows Shinuske down. Jeff to the top, Whisper in the Wind. Shinsuke up and rushes the corner, stops a kick, turns Jeff seated on the 2nd rope, slides with a sloppy German to Jeff. Shinsuke to the top rope. Jeff stands. Shinsuke flies with a knee that Cole busts a nut over, but it barely grazes Jeff’s arm. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!!

Shinsuke goes for his knee, Jeff counters for Twist of Fate, Shinsuke tries for a Sleeper, Jeff escapes. Hits Shin with a knee. Twist of Fate! Jeff to the top rope. Swanton. Pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Jeff Hardy
The idea of using a knee brace as a weapon to slowly turn Jeff Hardy would be the most interesting thing he’s done in a long time, but the WWE loves to give Faces heel tendencies, so this will only serve to make AJ more of a heel than Jeff more of a face.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 12:57

OH MY GOD!!!!!

THE MUSIC OF SAMI ZAYN HITS AND OUT COMES THE CANADIAN HOBO!!!!!

Sami has his IC Title! He gets to the face of Jeff and says this is the champ! There’s only one champ, and it’s Sami!!! He and Jeff hold their respective titles in the air.

HELLUVA KICK TO JEFF!!! Sami yells “Fraud” in Jeff’s face!!

Man, if that was supposed to be a Helluva Kick, Jeff should still be knocked out.

Sami heads to the back as AJ points and scorns.

Kayla tries to stop Sami to ask him why he attacked Jeff. Sami says he was a fraud. He won this title fair and square and defended the title at Mania.

Kayla wonders where he’s been. Sami says many reasons. He doesn’t need to explain it to anyone. He is from Montreal, Quebec, Canada, and is a man of the world – a true IC Champion. Sami goes full Jim Carrey and bounces.

We head to The Firefly Funhouse, and Bray has a new sweater! He welcomes us to the Funhouse and is so happy to be back with his friends. Huskus tries to wax poetic, but Bray bans him from the internet. Bray says he cant help but feel like something is missing. What could it be? He knows! The title! It’s back! Bray addresses Roman, says it’s been a long time. He tells Reigns it’s good to see him again.

The doorbell rings, and it’s Postman Pearce. You know what they say, nothing but Trump can stop the Post Office.

Bray wonders why he would sign it. Pearce says there sometimes is a connection between he and The Fiend. Bray says ok, he’ll sign it. He does.

Bray asks us to let him in.

King Corbin and Riddle recap in case that’s something that interests you.

Riddle is here live. He gets some pyro.

He wants to speak directly to Corbin. Anyone that can prove that Riddle does’t belong on Smackdown was entitled to The King’s Ransom. It seems like Corbin doesn’t want to face Riddle, and he’s scared. If Corbin has something to prove, prove Riddle wrong right now. Come on, bro.

We come back to the show after a break, and Riddle’s music is playing again. Why?

Corbin finally comes out.

Gable attacks Riddle from behind. Ok…wtf.

Match 2: Chad Gable vs Matt Riddle
Gable attacks from behind, then sits on the back and locks up the waist. Punches from above. Whip to Riddle, Riddle blocks, locks the wiast, flips Gable, holds on and goes for a second one. Riddle spins, but Gable lands on his feet and gets a Tiger Suplex. Pin for 1..2..NO!!!! Gable waits, Riddle is slow to rise.

Riddle escapes a suplex, hits a high knee, locks up, BRO DEREK. Pin for 1..2…3!!!!!

Winner:
Talk about inconsistent. Why and how could anyone take anything Gable does seriously. From teaming up with the dude that bullied him, overcoming said bully, teaming with the bully, apologizing for teaming with said bully, then teaming up with him all again for a ransom that we still don’t fully understand, all to lose in less than 2 minutes….
Total Rating: BFYTW
Match Time: 1:24

Big E had a selfie interview about not wanting to be on MizTV. Miz hears this and walks up with Morrison. In comes Sheamus, and we’ve got a 3-on-1. But in come Otis and Tucker. Otis looks severely confused. Lol.

We go backstage and Otis has a lunchbox looking like a Money in the Bank briefcase.

In come Sasha and Bayley to tell Big E that some people can only handle a tag team championship. Bayley laughs it off, but Sasha is noticeably bothered by that comment…

We are back, and it looks like Roman Reigns’ locker room is actually the banquet hall of the Thunderdome.

Kayla is nearby and asks Corbin who is walking, holding his side. He says he will rearrange Riddle’s face and put some dents in his forehead this Sunday. He will break his toes, and will send Riddle to NXT or UFC. He will prove this Sunday that Riddle odesnt belong on Smackdown.

Sasha and Bayley are on their way to the ring.

Bayley calls this week one of the most difficult of their careers. They both had to defend their titles last week, and now they’ve gotta defend the tag team titles. Lucky for them, they are the greatest tag team champions in the world. You got Bayley Dos Straps, and…Sasha Banks. Sorry, too soon. She knows Sasha is still upset, but sometimes even when they have the best intentions, things don’t always go as planned.

Bayley also wants to say that this is all her fault. She should have never let Sasha challenge Asuka for the title. She saw how Sasha wanted to have fun with Bayley and be the same, but as her best friend, she should have known how she could not have successfully defended that title. Bayley says this is the past, and thy will MOOOOOve forward (Sasha is wearing cow print pants). Bayley says she is not alone; they are in this together. These tag team titles represent their friendship, and on Sunday, they cannot lose.

Sasha says no, Bayley is right. They can’t lose. She knows Bayley is worried that they are facing Nia and Shayna. A lot has gone down, but as long as Bayley has her back, they can get through anything. She may not be Two Belt Banks anymore, but she knows who she is and what she stands for, and lucky for Bayley, Banks is still her best friend.

Ugh….Nia is on the screen with her new best friend, Shayna. Shayna says Sasha has had a bad week, and it’s about to get worse. They express how much they hate each other, but are willing to let that slide to beat Sasha and Bayley.

Sasha tells them that she will not be held back. They will win this Sunday, and there’s nothing Nia’s wig can do about that.

Pearce is looking for Braun, and asks Gulak if he’s seen him. Drew says if Pearce has seen Braun, then let HIM know, because he’s got some words for him. Drew grabs a chair and sees Braun bent over a table. He smacks Braun across the back with the table. Braun no-sells it. Gulak tosses the chair to Pearce and runs. Braun turns and yells at Pearce to get Gulak to the ring right now. He also warns him to find Reigns before Braun does.

Corbin in the ring to sneak attack. He shoves Riddle into the corner, Riddle oes for a kick, and Corbin slides out of the ring.

We come back to Cesaro being upset with Shinsuke, but here comes Sami to sing Reunited. Shinsuke points out he’s been gone for four months, without a phone call. Shinsuke is sad. Sami says he should have communicated better. He apologizes. Cesaro says not to be sorry; some things have changed for the better. Sami says this was the plan; to give them space and come together. This is amazing. Fellow artists and champions. Sami puts his title next to the tag team titles, wanting to be part of the group. Cesaro says they were having a conversation and would like Sami to leave.

Sami Rogen say he’s gotta go, actually now that he thinks of it.

He gives them one last look of confusion:

Match 3: Braun Strowman vs Drew Gulak
Braun splashes Drew in the corner, tosses him chest first into the opposite corner, then splashes him again. He lifts Drew and hits a short clothesline then screams as Corey Graves compares him to a dinosaur. Senton by Strowman. He beats him down from above then screams again.

Braun lifts Drew by the neck and chokeslams him down. Braun screams, asking if this is what Drew wanted. Running powerslam and a pin for 1..2….3!

Winner:
I am uninterested in a Braun Strowman squash match.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: < 3 minutes

Pearce is at the top of the ramp with the contract. Braun signs and continues walking to the back.
Kalisto is backstage with Lince and Gran. He tells them to do him a favor; stay back here and watch how it’s done.

Kalisto heads to the ring. Cesaro and Shinsuke attack Gran and Lince. Kalisto is a horrible friend.

Match 4: Cesaro vs Kalisto
Cesaro dead lifts Kalisto and drops him on his ass immediately. He then whips to the corner, Kalisto hops oout of the corner, hits the ropes, does a hell of a lot of twists and turns to send Cesaro outside. He hops over the top rope, lands on the second, springboards with a hurricanrana to Cesaro. He whips esaro into the ring. Springboard from kalisto, and Cesaro catches him and hits a backbreaker. Pin for 1..2.NO!!! Whip to Kalisto and a back body drop to Kalisto. Cover and we are too close to the ropes. Cesaro grabs Kalisto, whips to the ropes, another back body drop attempt, but Kalisto pulls the leg for a pin, flies for another pin. 1..2..NO!!! Huge kick from Cesaro. Big Elbow. Pin for 1..2…NO!!! High kick from Kalisto. Dropkick to the knee. Cesaro flips Kalisto, Kalisto runs the ropes, goes for a Frankensteiner, Cesaro shoots Kalisto up, Kalisto steps on the chest of Cesaro and drops into a DDT. Nice. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Kalisto spins, lookin for the finish. Cesaro shoves him away, hurricanrana to Cesaro.

Shinsuke on the apron! Gran and Lince come out to pull Shinsuke down. Kalisto is distracted. Rollup from Cesaro. Pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Cesaro
Gotta admit that Kalisto can still show some flash, it’s such a shame that no one cares about it, though. Gotta love that this week, it’s totally ok if someone who isn’t in the match attacks someone else who isn’t in the match outside of the ring. Gotta clear that up.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:14

Kalisto and Lince and Gran all argun in the ring until Kalisto gives them both a hug.

Backstage, Vince is playing Candy Crush. Pearce comes in and says he’s got two of the signatures he needed. Vince wants 3 out of 3. He advises Pearce to go knock the door down. Vince would do it by tossing Pearce’s body into the door.

Backstage, Nikki is holding onto an empty coffee mug. In comes Tamina, who is a face tonight. She asks how Alexa is, everyone is worried about her. In comes Alexa with some pigtails. Nikki sees a braid/dreadlock and Nikki says that’s a bit extreme. Nikki says it may not be the best idea. It reminds her of…The Fiend.

Alexa goes glazed over worse than Festus, then snaps out of it. Tells Nikki not to worry. She thought Nikki would be more supportive. So much for friendship. Alexa slams the mug down and goes all kinds of Harley Quinn before leaving.

The only saving grace of this is that Alexa is totally believable.

Pearce finally opts to open the door of Roman without asking. He hands over the pen to Reigns. He says he’ll have to take a look at this single paged, seven word contract, first.

And now, a six-man tag with a man whose storyline basis is that he is worthy of a single’s push…

Match 5: The Miz, John Morrison, and Sheamus vs Big E and Heavy Machinery
Otis and Morrison to start. Tht doesn’t last long as there is a tag to Big E and a tag to Tucker, which Cole says “allows for a triple team.” They dance and whip Big E into Morrison. Tucker with a tag for 1..2.NO!! Sheamus there to stop the pin. Crossbody from Tucker to Morrison. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tucker knees out of the heel corner. He knocks down Sheamus and Miz. Right hand to Morrison.

Sheamus is shown ringing the bell then we go to commercial.

Uh….wut? Is Sheamus a part of Retribution?

We are back and……not a single mention about the bell. Tag to Miz who whips Tucker int othe corner with Morrison. Morrison sends Miz into the corner, who hits a clothesline, then Morrison hits a superkick. Pin from Miz for 1..2…NO!!! Tucker with a back suplex. Morrison drives a knee into the side of Tucker. Right hands to Tucker from Morrison. Tag to Miz. Miz in with a kick to Tucker. Tag to Morrison. He flies off the springboard with a swinging kick. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Big E there to stop it. Sheamus gets a blind tag. He’s pissed. Ref didn’t see it. Sheamus yells that he got the tag. Robinson ain’t having it. Morrison is back in. He attacks the back of Tucker. Sheamus yells at the announcers. Tucker sends Morrison into the back of Sheamus. Sheamus tears apart the announce table. He yells at Miz, pissed off, and tells Miz to kiss his arse. Miz tells Shemaus to stay, they need him, Sheamus yells at Miz to get his hands off him. Sheamus heads to the back. Miz on the apron.

Morrison with a tag as Sheamus says no one will play him like a fiddle. Tag to Miz after a back body drop. Tag to Big E. Belly to Belly to Miz. Another. A third. Big E gyrates, hits the ropes, big splash. Miz leaves the ring, but Big E grabs him. Miz hangs him up. Big E in the corner. Miz back in the ring. He runs, and gets Uranaged into hell. Morrison off the top. He lands on Miz. Otis in and tosses Morrison like nothing. Caterpillar to Morrison. Miz moves.

Miz locks up and hits the Skull Crushing Finale. Big E rolls back into the ring. Big Ending. Pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winners: Big E and Heavy Machinery
What. In the world. Was that? The ringing of the bell was utterly pointless, and the notion that six man tag, as fun as they can be, left much to be desired when you consider the fact that Big E’s whole schtick right now is that he can handle being a singles star. Wrestling wise, this was slightly below average.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 11:57

Reigns is backstage, guarantees some shit, then says this is not just a prediction – that’s a spoiler….

We pan over to….

PAUL HEYMAN!

BELIEVE….THAT!!!

End Show

4.5

The final score: review Poor

The 411

Well, that was certainly something. The reveal of Paul Heyman was interesting, to say the least. I'll reserve opinion until we get a bit more, but the good news is that it's intriguing. Unfortunately, that's literally the ONLY thing on the show worth watching, as the wrestling quality was minimal to the point of disinterest, and the stories continue to either be incredibly shallow, heavy-handed with explanation or exposition, or just completely lacking even the most basic of logics. Sometimes all three! And yes, I didn't think you could have a shallow story that is both heavy-handed either, but they tend to do just that. Take Alexa as an example, where something as simple as a hair change could be small enough to show progression, yet is pointed out as the ultimate alteration of persona that it's frightening to her "best friend." Kalisto's showing his partners how it's done didn't really fare well for him, either, and I fear no one cares about this. Although, it's nice to know that this week, disqualifications are a bit more laced considering what we've seen less than a month ago regarding interruptions on the outside of the ring. All in all, this was another weak episode of Smackdown with an intriguing ending making me, yet again, hope for the best, but expect next to nothing in relation to.