Cook’s Extreme Rules 2017 Report Card

Hi, hello & welcome to the Extreme Rules Report Card! The Raw brand has made its way to Baltimore, Maryland and is ready to get Extreme. Well, as extreme as WWE gets in this day & age. We do have kendo sticks on poles & steel cages ready to lower. We also have submissions and disqualifications. Hey, it is what it is. If we’re being honest this is merely buildup for the GREAT BALLS OF FIRE show coming to Dallas in July.

Much like Dallas, Baltimore is rich in wrestling history. We’re talking about the arena where Superstar Billy Graham won the WWWF Championship in 1977 and Ron Simmons won the WCW Championship in 1992. Where Lex Luger nearly won the NWA Championship from Ric Flair in 1988 before the Maryland State Athletic Commission got in the way. Luckily they won’t be a factor tonight…or will they?

OK, probably not.

Here’s how I grade the WWE SuperStars…

A – Outstanding. Great moves, selling, interaction with the fans, everything. Stands out as a top performer.
B – Above Average. Very good offensively or defensively. Plays their role well. Helps the match accomplish what it set out to do.
C – Average. The type of performance that does nothing to stand out. No outstanding moves, no great effort to sell their opponent’s offense or draw the crowd into what they’re doing, just bland, basic wrestling. Sometimes, especially in a multi-man match, a short period of time spent in the ring without a chance to do too much.
D – Below Average. Poor execution, ignoring the crowd, not doing things that make sense.
F – Failure. Not doing anything useful. Actively holding the match back from accomplishing its objective.

Your pre-show panel consists of Renee Young, Sam Roberts and the returning David Otunga. Charly Caruso is in the Social Media Lounge and still no-selling my advances. Nia Jax was impressive in her appearance with the panel. I forgot to send the Hardyz a question, which was probably for the best.

Kickoff Match: Apollo Crews (w/Titus O’Neil) vs. Kalisto: Member when Apollo & Kalisto couldn’t beat Dolph Ziggler? Actually, who won that match? I have no idea off the top of my head. Both guys showing some good athleticism early & some crisp moves. Dang, Kalisto with a nice flip from one sides of the ropes to the other into a seated senton. Then Apollo kicks him on another attempted dive. That first move especially was funky. We come back from commercial and Kalisto gets a nearfall before Crews re-takes the advantage. Titus is very verbose in his managing style. Hopefully he learned from his former manager Abraham Washington and won’t make any Kobe Bryant jokes. Kalisto comes back and busts Crews’ face with a hurricanrana. Kalisto hits a couple big moves including a non-rope assisted tornado DDT and gets a two on it. Fans chant “lucha” because Lucha Underground is back. Kalisto jumps into a Samoan drop by Crews. Standing shooting star press gets 2.75 or so for Crews. Titus keeps hopping up on the apron to distract his wrestler, which is poor managing on his part. Kalisto uses Titus to hit the Salida de Sol and get the three count!

Good opener to get the crowd going. These guys have the skills, it’s a question of if they get the proper chance to showcase them. Kalisto has been mis-cast and Crews has been ignored up until this point. I’d like to see them get more of a chance, and there’s no reason why they shouldn’t get it. That I know of, anyway.

Grades
Kalisto: B
Crews: B

Titus’ managing from a kayfabe perspective would get an F though. What kind of manager distracts his own wrestler and assists in finishing him off? A bad one, for sure. He needs to go to the Jim Cornette School of Managing or something.

Sam Roberts mixes up standing shooting star presses & 450s and probably pays for it in his Twitter mentions. The fans have dueling Roman Reigns chants, and Kurt Angle discusses the Fatal 5-Way with the panel. Brock Lesnar is the most dominant wrestler he ever faced, in case you were wondering. He does not discuss the text message from Raw.

I’d hate to be Michael Cole, Corey Graves & Booker T and sitting right next to the fireworks at the beginning of the show. That’s gotta be fun.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match (Title Changes Hands on a DQ): Champion Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz (w/Maryse): Maryse wears the pants in that family, and they look good. Are we sure she’s not having a match later? I like it when Ambrose remembers he’s a trained wrestler, as he does early on here. Miz tries to provoke Ambrose into getting disqualified, which will surely be a trend in this match. Good thing for Dean that the over-the-top rope rule isn’t in effect in 2017. …dive! Ambrose tosses Miz into the barricade and scares away the German announcers, but the table does not come into usage. Miz almost uses the old Eddie Guerrero chair trick on Ambrose, but he doesn’t quite time the dropping of the chair right. DDT on the apron by the Miz. Hardest part of the ring, you know. 2. Ambrose misses the jawbreaker lariat but Miz gets the backbreaker into the neckbreaker for two. Miz goes on the offensive. Miz with a hair pull & some closed fists right in front of the referee. Three dropkicks in the corner followed by a clothesline by Miz. Finisher reversal time, Miz goes up top then gets knocked to the floor. Dean up top…elbow smash! Back in the ring, fisherman’s suplex by Ambrose gets a two count. Didn’t get those hands locked so it wasn’t quite perfect. Swinging neckbreaker gets a near-fall. Crowd seems split here. Baltimore people have football-related issues with Cincinnati. Sunset flip by Ambrose is rolled through and Miz locks in the Figure 4! I’ve been watching some Mid-South lately, and Paul Orndorff & Bob Roop figuring out a counter to Ted DiBiase’s Figure 4 was pretty good business. Ambrose finds the ropes. He goes up top and gets crotched. Miz follows him up…Headbutts by Ambrose, he slips down..Miz grabs the turnbuckle pad and yanks it off! Ambrose almost rams Miz in but sees the pad removed and halts. If he’d watched 205 Live he’d know referees don’t care about that anymore. Miz hits a Daniel Bryanesque running knee for two. Time for the Yes Kicks! Miz has yet to hit the final Yes Kick from what I’ve seen. Ambrose locks in a Figure 4, but Miz finds the ropes. Both guys staggering around now, Ambrose manages to hit the Jawbreaker Lariat and both guys get to their feet. Maryse is up on the ring apron, they tease running into her. Miz tells Maryse to slap him so Dean will get disqualified! Marsye slaps him, but the referee sees through it and sends Maryse to the back. Maryse comes back and distracts the referee…Miz pushes Ambrose into the referee! The ref teases going to the timekeeper, then Miz takes advantage of that distraction and delivers a Skull-Crushing Finale! New/old champion!

The one thing I didn’t like about the ending was referee John Cone making a big show of tossing Maryse and then threatening to disqualify Ambrose. It got too much heat on the referee instead of the wrestlers. Other than that it was good stuff. I thought both guys brought it, it was one of the best showings I’ve seen from both of them in awhile.

Grades
Ambrose: A-
Miz: A-

Charly interviews Bayley, who has been watching Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, Steve Blackman & Wonder Woman to get ready for her match tonight.

Rich Swann & Sasha Banks vs. Noam Dar & Alicia Fox: Crap, I forgot Swann is from Baltimore. I really shouldn’t have picked him & Banks to win this one. It’s Sasha & Alicia starting, but not for long as Alicia has had enough after one cheap shot. So let’s go to Swann & Dar for a little bit before we go back to Banks & Fox. Nice backbreaker by Alicia, who gets the lion’s share of the offense here. That’s one way to work the match. Swann gets the hot tag and loves to have fun! Nice front flip scissor kick there. Swann kicks Dar’s face off, and Alicia & Sasha decide to start a catfight. Sasha measuring Alicia & Noam as she goes up top…double knees to Dar! I don’t think the women are allowed to beat up the men so that might be against the rules! Phoenix splash by Swann…and he wins? What is this sorcery?

Decent enough for government work. I’m sorry, I was about to grade this thing and go into great detail and Sasha started dancing and I lost my train of thought. Anywho, this whole Dar/Fox storyline is a lot better to digest by just watching the PPV matches.

Grades
Swann/Banks: B-
Dar/Fox: C

Elias Samson is out to perform a song. He runs down Baltimore because, well, Baltimore is pretty run down. I’m going to side with Graves on his musical ability, it wasn’t exactly top-notch.

Raw Women’s Championship Kendo Stick on a Pole Match: Champion Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley: The wacky inflatable arm-flailing Bayley Buddies are having a rough night. I’m sure there’s been a good pole match at some point but I can’t think of any. Ivan Putski must have had a good match or two back in the day. Wait a minute, why is the referee making pin counts before somebody gets the kendo stick off the top of the pole? I’m pretty sure the object has to be retrieved before anybody can win the match, if I remember the rules correctly. The stick falls to the mat and the girls fall to the arena floor. Bayley cuts Alexa off before she can get it. Back suplex on the floor, and Bayley attains possession of the kendo stick! She chases Alexa around for awhile. She corners her, but waits too long to use the stick. Alexa gets the stick and it’s time for a caning! Bayley with a Bayley to Belly after several shots from the stick. She tries to get it back but Alexa bounces her off of it in the corner. Another shot, a DDT, and Alexa retains the title.

Yep, Bayley didn’t have much of a chance in this one. Almost to the point where it looks like Alexa needs a new challenger and this feud might be over. I do think Bayley’s suffering added more to the presentation though, so she gets the higher grade tonight. So there’s something, right? I didn’t really like the match but the performances were good…I’m not even sure if that makes sense but that’s what I’m going with.

Grades
Bliss: B-
Bayley: B

Adam Jones (of the Orioles) dressed up as Virgil. Well, that’s one way to go about things. He’s got Money Inc. with them, but they go un-named.

Raw Tag Team Championship Steel Cage Match: Champions The Hardyz vs. Cesaro and Sheamus: The Hardyz haven’t lost a tag team match in WWE since…good lord, before Matt got Broken in real life for the first time I’m pretty sure. It’s escape rules in this one, and a lot of dudes getting rammed into the cage, then dudes climbing up the cage and getting pulled back down. The fans get to do some DELETE chants so they’re having a good time. Nice stereo dropkicks from the Hardyz. Sheamus powerbombs Jeff down, who takes Cesaro with him. Matt with an elbow from the top. He decides to climb up top, but Cesaro follows him. He guides Matt onto Sheamus’ shoulders and there’s a Finlay Roll. Or is it a Regal Roll? I’m never sure. Matt gets bounced off the side of the cage, but Jeff avoids the same treatment and tries to Spiderman his way out. All four are on various points of trying to escape for a minute there, but no dice. All four then go down in the ring. Everybdy back up top and Jeff manages to drop down, but that leaves Matt all alone. Does it matter? Side Effect to Cesaro & one for Sheamus as well. Matt climbs up & it’s a tug of war over him. Fun! Double crucifix bomb by Cesaro & Sheamus. Jeff slams the door on Cesaro but then Sheamus Brogue kicks it into him. I was wondering for a minute if going out the door was illegal since nobody was trying it before. Twist of Fate to Sheamus, and it’s a good one! Cesaro tossed off the top rope. Matt heads up and it looks good for him…Cesaro chases him down though. Uppercut nearly knocks Matt off the top to the floor! Assisted White Noise off the top rope! Jeff has removed his shirt and it looks like he’s going back in. He climbs up top and it’s a Whisper in the Wind! Sheamus & Cesaro opt to climb out, while the Hardyz go out the door. Matt has a tough time getting the corpse of Jeff out, and the Euros get the belts back! The fans thought it was closer, but the camera angle was right on it. What else can be said other than Brother Nero has failed Matt yet again?

Pretty decent stuff there. I’m not a blood guy really, but I do think this match would have benefitted from it. The Hardyz still haven’t been pinned so they have that going for them. This will continue the feud until whenever it’s time for The Revival to get the straps, I’d figure. Cesaro & Sheamus are great together so I like it.

Grades
Hardyz: B
Cesaro/Sheamus: B

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Submission Match: Champion Neville vs. Austin Aries: Did they make the ropes purple during the earlier tag match? I didn’t even notice if they did or not. Aries hooks in a lucha style submission early and Neville opts to stall outside for a bit afterwards. Aries goes on offense for a bit but eventually it’s time for the King to go on offense and target the injured knee of Aries. The ol’ Wishbone submission! I guess that’s Neville’s attempt at a leg submission. Aries comes back and hits his trademark shinbreaker into a back throw. He gave up on the suplex bit with Neville, I see. That bump off the apron couldn’t have helped whatever injury Aries has that weird tape on to his shoulder area for. The fans seem distracted by something or other, which has become a trend for these matches. A beach ball, perhaps. Aries locks in the figure 4, which makes a lot of sense from a man with a bad knee. Flying dropkick from the top rope gets nothing for Aries, and now Neville locks in the Rings of Saturn. Maybe that move is what caused the weird shoulder tape, which makes one bother why Aries bothered selling the knee all those weeks. I’m thinking way too much here, but Neville’s standing around and giving me a lot of time to think. Aries locks in a Rings of Saturn of his own! Neville grabs the ref and Aries has to make sure the ref doesn’t disqualify him, but Neville takes advantage with a superkick. Aries does get Neville to tap to the Last Chancery, but since they’re outside the ring it doesn’t count. And I have no idea why the referee is counting them out since it’s a submission match. Time for the Heat-Seeking Missile…which finds nothing but floor. Yikes. Neville with the Red Arrow to the back, followed by the Rings of Saturn, which gets the tap out from Aries. Aries smiles like a lunatic outside, which might mean something going forward. There was also a really hot blonde standing up at the end and I forgot what I was watching for a minute there.

That match just did not get over with the audience at all. Or with me, for that matter, as I spent most of the time catching up on Twitter. I can’t say Aries or Neville are bad, but whatever they’re doing isn’t connecting. In a different setting maybe that match is freaking awesome and talked about with tons of snowflakes, but on this night it was a big swing and a miss. 205 Live is at a crossroads right now…it hasn’t captured the attention of most of the WWE Universe and it’s tough to say what they could do to change that. I think the first thing I would suggest is not having Neville go out of his way to bore the audience during most of his matches, even if it’s great heel heat and makes him a great champion according to some. I know a lot of people in wrestling are anti-…dive right now, but maybe going that direction wouldn’t be the worst thing. At least keeping the crowds awake would be a step in the right direction.

Grades
Neville: D
Aries: D

The GREAT BALLS OF FIRE commercial is something else.

Fatal Five Way #1 Contender’s Match: Seth Rollins vs. Samoa Joe vs. Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns: It’s Regular Finn tonight, which is growing on me. I was wondering if he would go Demon tonight, but maybe he’s saving it for the Universal Champion. We shall see. Seth & Joe face off, as do Finn & Bray. Which leaves Roman in the ring to soak up the attention. Not for long though, as Bray steps in the ring. He gets disposed of and here’s the Rollins & Reigns connection…well, nah because Joe & Bray attack Roman. Seth goes after Joe. Balor’s stomping people as they try to get into the ring right now, which is pretty cool. …DIVE! Reigns knocks Balor down with a right hand and tosses him into the barricade. Drive-By to Wyatt…well, no because Joe cuts him off. Joe & Wyatt seem to be getting along, but I can’t see anybody getting along with Wyatt for too long. Reigns goes flying into the steps. I’m not sure why the announcers are talking about how nobody controls Joe when we already know that he’s Triple H’s Destroyer. He’s even wearing the old DX colors tonight. Joe & Wyatt with the Briscoe Brothers tackle on Balor. Rollins returns to the forefront for a minute but Wyatt puts a stop to that with a DDT on the steel steps. Jake Roberts is screaming about that being a finish somewhere. Joe locks the choke in on Balor, but Balor rolls out and double stomps Joe! Wyatt has a chair and he blasts Balor & Reigns in the back with it. He teases hitting Joe but hits Balor instead. Back senton by Joe onto Balor & the chair. Wyatt does one of his own. Balor breaks up the attempted attack in the corner and fights back. Reigns hits the Drive-By on Wyatt, then a power bomb to Balor. Joe misses a clothesline and eats one of his own. The crowd chants along with Roman’s strikes in the corner because they really don’t know what to do. Do they cheer? Do they boo? At least they’re doing something anyway.

Joe & Reigns fight outside & Bray comes in to help out. Modified Rock Bottom on the announce table! Rollins dives onto Joe and sends Wyatt back inside. Rollins with a forearm off the top gets 2 because it’s not quite Phenomenal. Double blockbuster on Joe & Wyatt. I love that a Buff Bagwell move name is still a thing in 2017. …dive onto Joe! …dive onto Joe! Bray shoved Joe into the path and now he’s trying to take advantage. Clothesline by the Eater of Worlds. Falcon Arrow by Rollins gets 2. He springboards right into Sister Abagail, but Joe breaks up the pin attempt! Now Joe & Wyatt go at it. Wyatt goes for Sister Abagail but Joe reverses into the choke, which is broken up by Finn Balor with a chair! He goes to town on Joe & Wyatt. Dropkick to Reigns, and a PK! Dropkick to Wyatt on the outside! One for Joe! Wyatt gets his head bounced off one of the announce tables a few times, and now Balor’s targeted the Spanish table for destruction. That doesn’t happen, but Reigns spears Balor & Joe through the barricade! Rollins remains in the ring, but he climbs up top and puts Wyatt through the table with a frog splash! His knee didn’t like it too much, but the fans are pretty happy about it.

Roman & Seth are the last two standing. They go into the ring and fire away at each other. Back & forth now. Superman punch to Rollins gets 2.75! Rollins fights back and gets a couple of near-falls. Up top now…frog splash gets 2! Rollins back up top…no Phoenix Splash, but Bray’s back now…no Sister Abagail to either man, but a spear by Reigns to Wyatt! Buckle bomb to Reigns! Superman punch to Rollins! Superman punch to Balor! Sling Blade! Dropkick into the corner…Balor up top…Coup de gras! Joe breaks it up with the choke! Nobody to break it up! Balor’s gonna pass out! Samoa Joe wins!

Joe vs. Lesnar? GREAT BALLS OF FIRE, INDEED!

Now that was a damn good match right there. Great work from everybody involved, and as a guy that’s followed Samoa Joe’s career for well over a decade it’s pretty great to see him get this chance on top going against The Beast Incarnate Brock Lesnar. Reigns will get his shot down the road, he’s getting pretty much the perfect reaction from crowds right now. Balor’s doing well. I’m a little concerned about Rollins & Wyatt right now as far as their standing goes, but they’ll find things to do. Joe vs. Lesnar will definitely be worth tuning in for.

Grades
Balor: A
Joe: A
Reigns: A
Rollins: A
Wyatt: A

Final Thought

There were a few bumps in the road, but I’d have to say that Extreme Rules was WWE’s best show since WrestleMania. Maybe that’s not the highest praise one can offer, but when you compare this shows to shows on a similar level it did a good job of moving things forward. We just need to forget about the women’s & cruiserweight matches, though the women/cruiserweight match wasn’t bad.

Maybe that’s how we fix 205 Live. Nia Jax for Cruiserweight Champion? I can dig it.

For more of Steve Cook’s thoughts on pro wrestling, along with his thoughts on the Nashville Predators’ first appearance in the Stanley Cup Final, follow him on Twitter!