Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 10.04.18

Csonka’s Impact Wrestling Review 10.04.18

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Matt Sydal defeated Rich Swann @ 7:40 via pin [**¾]
– La Parka defeated Eli Drake @ 2:30 via countout [NR]
– Murder Clown defeated Joe Hendry @ 2:45 via pin [NR]
– Su Yung defeated Kiera Hogan @ 4:20 via pin [**½]
– Pentagon, Fenix, & Cage defeated oVe @ 3:45 via DQ [**]

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– I did a column, “Where Are They Now, The Cruiserweight Classic Finals Performers” which you can check out at this link.

– You can check out my top 36 matches of SEPTEMBER list at this link.

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– My Impact Wrestling One Night Only: Bad Intentions 2018 review is at at this link.

Rich Swann vs. Matt Sydal: They shake hands and Swann attacks, taking Sydal to the floor and hitting a superkick and then an apron cannonball. Back in and Swann follows with rights, they pick up the pace and Swann hits a snap mare and follows with a running kick. Sydal lures Swann to the corner and kicks him to the floor and lays in chops. Swann answers back, but Sydal hides under the ring. Sydal then attacks and rolls Swann back in and follows with knee strikes. Swann fires back with strikes and kicks, and then a RANA. The head kick gets 2. Swann hits the lethal injection and that gets 2. Swann up top, Sydal cuts him off, and follows him up. Swann counters the head scissors, hits the superkick but Sydal cuts him off with a powerbomb off the ropes. Sydal hits a head kick, Swann counters chemical imbalance, hits a kick and heads up top. Ethan Page arrives and powerbombs Swann, allowing Sydal to pick up the win. Matt Sydal defeated Rich Swann @ 7:40 via pin [**¾] Commentary made no mention that Page was formerly Chandler Park. This was pretty good overall, but never really kicked into that next gear. It will be interesting to see how they work the Sydal/Page pairing.

– Dave Crist is alive after last week’s kidnapping and says the lucha Bros have magical powers. Sami challenges them to meet him in the ring later tonight.

– Eddie thinks Alisha is calling him but it’s Moose, who he has apparently kidnapped. He tells Eddie to meet him at a bar.

– Scarlett arrives and Don is a smitten kitten. She joins commentary, and calls Don a 10 and Josh a 5. She’s here to scout for the next champion.

– Eli Drake arrives for his open challenge. He calls out all the technicos to come out here and show off their fancy plancha so he can kick them in the ass. None of the luchas can lucha like him. La Parka (NOT LA PARK) arrives. Parka talks some shit in Spanish and attacks.

Eli Drake vs. La Parka: They brawl and Parka chokes out Drake. He follows with head butts and chops. Drake finally cuts him off with a neck breaker. Drake follows with ground and pound, and gets a chair. Parka cuts him off and grabs the chair. Drake bails and gets counted out. La Parka defeated Eli Drake @ 2:30 via countout [NR] It didn’t last long, they really didn’t do much and it was really bad. While it’s a typical heel walkout, it still feels like they have no idea what to do with Drake.

– Konnan & LAX talk. Konnan says they tried to get into his head and King & The OGz arrive. The OGz wreck LAX’s little set up, but Konnan won’t bite. King & The OGz then steal their shots of tequila, toasting to little Ritchie. King then spits the drink in Konnan’s face, but he refuses to break the cease-fire.

– Sydal & Page talk, noting that he tried to help Swann, but Page has accepted his teachings. They walk together to transcendence. Sydal says they will be a tag team and face Swann & a partner at Bound for Glory.

– Hendry discusses that he was concerned about Murder Clown, and then shows a Hendry special music video of “Katarina & Murder.”

Joe Hendry vs. Murder Clown: Katarina & Grado are at ringside. Hendry attacks at the bell, but Murder cuts him off and they work into a double down. Murder puts him in the tree of WHOA and hits a low dropkick. Murder follows with clubbing strikes, and follows with kicks. The slam follows, but Murder misses a senton. Hendry hits a fall away slam, but Murder fights of the ankle lock. Murder up top and hits a big splash for the win. Murder Clown defeated Joe Hendry @ 2:45 via pin [NR] So the feud continues between Grado/Hendry/Katarina. Hendry’s videos are fun, but I am not feeling the feud at all. Murder Clown is fine in small doses like this, but that’s about it.

– Post match, Murder attacks Grado and sets up a table. Murder pouts Hendry through the table with a top rope splash.

– Eddie meets Moose in the bar and Moose has Alisha. Moose makes Eddie drop his kendo stick and tells him to sit down. Moose says he sacrificed for Eddie, but when he got hurt, Aries & Moose checked on him and showed they were his real friends. Eddie disagrees and says they are using him. Moose says Eddie always called him when he was in trouble and Eddie admits he was a bad friend. Moose promises to end Eddie at BFG. Alisha tosses a drink in Moose’s face and Eddie attacks, but Killer Kross is here and pts a stop to that. Alisha tosses the kendo to Eddie and they run off together. Eddie calls Johnny Impact and tells him Aries is all alone and to get him.

[~End Hour One~]

When Johnny Met Austin: Johnny Impact searches for Austin Aries, but can’t find him. Impact claims be just wants to talk. He thinks he found him, but it was someone else. Impact makes his way into the arena, and wants Aries to come out for a conversation, face to face. Aries arrives wearing a sling (IT’s A TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP). Aries says he’s here and alone, but hurt following Impact’s attack last week. He claims he suffered a concussion and nerve damage, and then fell off some steps and twisted his ankle. Impact won’t kick his ass tonight and will wait until BFG. He’s wanted the title since he arrived, and isn’t about recruiting troops or politicking. The title should be just about them and no one else. Aries says he already beat Impact, and says he won the title in 45-secnds while Impact failed. Aries promises that Moose & Kross will not get involved at BFG. Aries doesn’t need anyone to beat him because he’s the best in the world. Aries makes fun of Johnny’s various names, claiming he doesn’t know who he is, while Aries is the master of pro wrestling and this universe. Aries says Impact looks like a champion and the man, but he’s a pretend pro wrestler. But Aries is simply the man and has the title to prove it. At BFG, Impact can be his co-star, and he’ll look great, hell his abs may have abs. The people will believe in him, but Aries will walk the ramp, looking plain, and will beat Impact and teach him a lesson. Aries says Impact can skip the embarrassment, and join him like Moose did. Before you have to become “Johnny 205,” make the right choice. Impact talks about his options, and would rather be stretchered out than join Aries. Aries attacks and reveals that he’s not hurt. Aries looks for a belt shot, misses and Impact lays him out with a kick and follows with starship pain. FINALLY, this show had been severely lacking, but this was great with Aries spitting fire and delivering a hell of a promo doing some great work to sell the title feud. This was EASILY the best thing on the show.

– Cage plans to kill the Crist brothers and then Sami.

– Desi Hit Squad talk about their failure last week. They think they need to listen to Gama more, and Gama arrives and beats them with a broomstick. Next week, Gama will make them fight to find out who the weak link is.

– The GWN flashback is Sing vs. Hogan from BFG 2011.

– Scarlett meets with four men backstage, setting up Petey Williams vs. Jack Evans vs. Trevor Lee vs. Puma King for next week.

– The Lucha Bros run down oVe and promise to meet them in the ring tonight.

Su Yung vs. Kiera Hogan: Allie and the Undead Bridesmaid are at ringside; Hogan beat Yung last week to set this up. Yung attacks at the bell, but Hogan quickly cuts her off and runs wild with corner attacks. Yung cuts her off with an inverted Alabama slam for 2. Yung follows with strikes, and starts tossing Hogan around. Yung follows with kicks, but Hogan fires back and hits a snap mare and superkick. Yung powder and Hogan follows with a suicide dive. Back in and Hogan covers for 2. Hogan counters panic switch and hits sitout powerbomb for 2. Hogan up top, the bridesmaid distracts her and Yung takes out Allie and finishes Hogan with panic switch. Su Yung defeated Kiera Hogan @ 4:20 via pin [**½] This was a solid match overall, with Hogan impressing and continuing to look good.

– Post match, the bridesmaids wheel out the coffin, but Allie tries to fight off Yung. She dumps her to the floor, and Yung backs off until the undead bridesmaid attacks and Yung gets the mandible claw until Hogan makes the save. Yung fights her off and dumps her into the coffin

– Allie is freaking out backstage because she failed and another friend got put into the coffin. She then says she knows what she has to do.

– We get a video package for Tessa Blanchard vs. Taya Valkyrie.

oVe (Sami Callihan, Jake, & Dave Crist) vs. Pentagon, Fenix, & Cage: Sami says they aren’t waiting for BFG. We get the big brawl to begin, with the Luchas and Cage running wild and getting a near fall on Sami. Fenix follows with kicks, but get distracted and cut off by Sami. Sami follows with ground and pound and tags in Dave. They knock Cage to the floor, and triple team Fenix but he then fights them off and tags in Cage, who runs wild. It’s all Cage as he tosses around the Crists at the same time. Sami cuts him off, but Sami attacks the ref for a DQ. Pentagon, Fenix, & Cage defeated oVe @ 3:45 via DQ [**] I am really glad that they didn’t give away a full match here, as that would have felt very foolish. The match was ok, but the overall angle was good to add to the build for a match that could easily steal the show at Bound for Glory; it served its purpose well.

– Post match they all brawl, as Cage suplexes Jake from the ring and to the pile on the floor. Fenix hits a tornillo from the crowd. They brawl as the show closes.

– Next Week…

NEXT WEEK – it's the FINAL IMPACT before Bound For Glory!

HUGE Six Man Tag Team Main Event! @iPeteyWilliams vs. @JackEvans711 vs. @TLee910 vs. @PumaKingOficial @Tess_Blanchard vs. @keyra_indy

A summit between LAX and The OGz! #IMPACTonPop pic.twitter.com/YRuK1Dd7XF

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) October 5, 2018

UPDATED BOUND FOR GLORY CARD
* Matt Sydal & Ethan Page vs. Rich Swann & ???
* Eddie Edwards vs. Moose
* Knockouts Title Match: Champion Tessa Blanchard vs. Taya Valkyrie
* OVE RULES MATCH: oVe (Sami Callihan, Jake, & Dave Crist) vs. Pentagon, Fenix, & Cage
* CONCRETE JUNGLE DEATH MATCH: LAX (Santana, Ortiz, & Konnan) vs. The OGz (Homicide, Hernandez, & King)
* Impact World Title Match: Champion Austin Aries vs. Johnny Impact

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

This week’s Impact Wrestling started off well enough with a pretty good Rich Swann vs. Matt Sydal match that set the arrival of Ethan Page and also set up another Bound For Glory match. But after that, things took a dramatic drop off with some truly poor professional wrestling. The Drake vs. Parka & Hendry vs. Murder Clown matches were just BAD. The Eddie Edwards and Moose angle was solid stuff, and led to a great segment between Impact & Aries, where Aries delivered big time on his promo. Allie failed in her mission as Hogan was put into a coffin, and they teased Allie snapping and another possible BFG match with Yung. The closing angle was good to sell the big six man featuring oVe vs. Pentagon, Fenix, & Cage. The Bound for Glory build picked up and we have six matches official at this time, but this week’s show was an overall real mixed bag. There was a lot of solid, some really bad, but also some good to great PPV build. This week’s effort was solid, but they really need to knock it out of the park next week.