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Csonka’s TNA Impact Review 3.08.16
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TNA Impact Review 3.08.16
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– KOTM Title Match: Eric Young defeated Bram, Will Ospreay, Jimmy Havoc and Damo @ 6:40 [**]
– Knockouts Title Match: Champion Gail Kim defeated Jade @ 6:25 via pin [**¾]
– Tag Team Title Match: Beer Money defeated Champions The Wolves @ 14:43 via pin to become the NEW champions [***¾]
– Lashley defeated Kurt Angle @ 11:00 via pin [***½]
#THANKYOUKURT: Dixie Carter opens the show with the roster surrounding the ring. She puts over Angle big time, and then Kurt makes his way to the ring. She says no one wanted to see this day come, and thanks him for coming to TNA 10-years ago. Dixie gets emotional as she thanks Angler, and the crowd chants thank you angle. Drew Galloway says he came to TNA to compete with the best and to wrestle Kurt Angle, because Angle is the best of all time. For as much as he learned backstage, being in the ring with Angle was a master class. He doesn’t want Angle to go, and then hugs him and thanks him for everything he has done for TNA. Was emotional hen he spoke, noting that he’s a better man, friend, wrestler, husband and father now as compared to 10-years ago. Lashley makes his way out and thanks Kurt several times, and says it is amazing to be here for Angle’s last match, and that it will be an honor to wrestle the man who got him into wrestling, his hero. The only sad thing is that Angle isn’t ready to wrestle him. The crowd chanted for Angle as Lashley left the ring. This was a good opening segment, paying tribute to Angle as well as setting the stage for his last match and continuing Lashley’s change in attitude. Galloway was also obviously placed into a top face position here, following his clean victory over Angle.
KOTM Title Match: Champion Eric Young vs. Bram vs. Will Ospreay vs. Jimmy Havoc vs. Damo: They are doing a full KOTM match here, with the penalty box and everything, which is a nice change. Ospreay, Havoc and Damo did not get an entrance; they were in the ring when we came back form the break. Ospreay got the first pin, sending Havoc to the box, and now Ospreay is eligible to try and hang the title. That failed as Young shoved over the ladder, and Ospreay took a rough bump. Young and Bram are working together early, havoc served his time and then climbed the box and hit a high cross onto Bram and Damo. Havoc ate a piledriver on the steps from Young for his troubles, and he was pinned again. Ospreay and Young are eligible to climb. Bram then pinned Damo, and Bram is eligible to climb. At just over four minutes, Bram and Young came to blows as they were both allowed to climb. Young battled Bram and sent him out the floor; Ospreay hit a flying forearm and that sent Young to the apron. Ospreay climbed, but Young flew in with a neck breaker off the ladder to take out Ospreay. That was cool. Young then climbed and hung the title to retain. It wasn’t bad, they worked in a few cool things, but it felt as if they never got out of second gear, lacked heat from the crowd and for a match involving a ladder was just bland. With Havoc, Ospreay, and Damo out there you’d think they’d be into it, but the crowd really wasn’t. Also, TNA made a big deal out of using Havoc, Ospreay, and Damo on this tour and they were basically “local enhancement talent.” That’s a disappointment, I get that Ospreay signed with NJPW, but they could have done something with the others. Also, one last nitpick, it would have been nice to get an explanation as to WHY Ospreay, Havoc and Damo got a title shot.
– Eric Young will defend the title next week against Jeff Hardy.
– We get a #thankyoukurt highlight video.
– Maria tells Dixie Carter that Mike Bennett will call her to the ring later tonight for a talk. Maria then discusses the fact that she can help the knockouts division, and tells Dixie’s people to call her assistant. Dixie, like Gail Kim, believes that actions speak louder than words.
– We get a video for the Decay. They are getting everything they can out of that song.
The Miracle Calls Out Dixie Carter: Maria and Bennett made their way to the ring, TNA needs a miracle more than ever since Angle (who ducked him) is leaving. He says he should be named #1 contender for the TNA Title so that he can save all of pro wrestling. He called out Dixie Carter, and Drew Galloway made his appearance. Galloway said that you don’t get things handed to you here, you have to work for it; so do more fighting and less running around like a little bitch. “Speaking of which” and he walked towards Maria, which was funny. Bennett was not impressed with Galloway, noting that Galloway had to beg for a second match with Angle because he failed the first time. The Feast or Fired briefcase is charity as Galloway won a game show match to have a title shot handed to him. Bennett demanded that Galloway get Dixie, he refused and attacked. Galloway ran off Bennett and stood tall. This was another good segment overall to advance their feud, although Bennett did too much talking. He’s supposed to be a “great talker” if you listen to some, but he’s better in small doses and feels repetitive. This is what I was discussing last week, poor pacing and cramming another talking segment into the first 30-minutes of a two-hour show. Also, why tease the segment and then turn right around and DO the segment? It lacks logic. I do not understand how you pre-tape a show so far in advance and can’t sit down and lay out the show to have a much better flow. There is really no excuse.
– We get a #thankyoukurt highlight video.
– The Wolves thank Angle for all he’s done for TNA, and that they were honored to share a ring with him. Angle puts them over, and Angle ribs Richards for stealing his ankle lock. He then said he was passing it on to Richards since he’s leaving. Fun with the lads.
Knockouts Title Match: Champion Gail Kim vs. Jade: No Dollhouse friends for Jade tonight. Kim and Jade have had some great little interactions, so I hope for good things here. They brawled right away, playing off of Jade’s most recent attack. Good aggression from both ladies as they went back and forth in the first two minutes, Jade took over and worked the Muta lock for a bit, and then transitioned to an arm bar. Kim countered, but Jade took her to he corner and continued to work the arm. Jade then made the mistake of going up top, and missed the missile dropkick as Kim sidestepped her. Kim then stopped selling the arm and was blocking strikes with it as she made her comeback. After her run of stuff, she then started to sell the arm again. Jade countered eat defeat and scored with a German suplex and bridge for 2. Kim countered the package piledriver attempt, hit a moonsault press, Jade rolled through but then Kim rolled through and retained the title. Overall a pretty good outing from these two, but they can do better. The selling was a bit wonky, as was the finish in execution, I actually liked the finish, because it wasn’t definitive and allows Jade to remain a contender, it just wasn’t smooth.
– We see Spud’s turn on EC3 and the fight form last week.
– EC3 gets a world title match next week on Impact. Hardy complains in a pre-taped interview about this, and accuses EC3 of shenanigans. But he doesn’t worry, because EC3 cannot beat him and next week, he will beat EC3 for the third time.
Tag Team Title Match: Champions The Wolves vs. Beer Money: This was set up last week. Nice pacing early as the Wolves controlled, which led to back and forth between the teams. The fats paced attacks from the Wolves were well done, as they appeared one step ahead of the TNA legends. They worked the styles (new school speed vs. old school and more methodical) nicely early, with both teams working to gain dominance. Beer money finally took control, working double teams on Edwards and while they slowed the action, it was not done in a bad way. After a good heat on Edwards, he scored with a RANA on both and then got the tag to Richards. Richards ran wild on a good hot tag, and then we went to commercial; odd place for a break. Post commercial, Richards was still in control and locked in an inverted figure four on Storm and an ankle lock on Roode. Beer Money survived. Richards hit a coast-to-coast dropkick to Storm in the tree of woe as Edwards hit a baseball slide dropkick, and that got a near fall. Beer money battled back from there, isolating Edwards. The top rope RANA/splash combo scored and got them a near fall when Richards made the save. Beer Money hit the double suplex on Edwards, did their cheer and went for DWI. Edwards countered, double kicks to Storm from the Wolves, and Richards got caught on the way in (off the top) with a code breaker by Storm and that is where he tore his ACL. Beer money then ran through a series of double team moves on Edwards, but he survived. Edwards was left to fight alone. DWI finally finished him, and Beer Money are the tag champions once again. That was a very good match, lots of fun moments and good near falls. The only thing that really sucked was of course the fact that Richards got hurt. Thankfully it happened late and they seemingly recovered well for the finish. I only say seemingly because it’s hard to tell how much editing was done. Anyway, very good match, easily the best on the show.
– We get a #thankyoukurt highlight video.
– Lashley talks some shit to Galloway, because he can.
– We get some #thankyoukurt fan videos.
– Mike Bennett interrupts Angle as he warms up/ Bennett says everything happens for a reason, and whatever Lashley does to Angle he will deserve it. Bennett wanted to be the guy to beat him, but says Angle blew the chance. It REALLY feels as if they are planting seeds for Angle to return if he wants.
GRADO TALKS: Grado arrives, and explains that he got fired and has proof that there were shenanigans. He has video proof but before he can produce it, Eli Drake and Jessie Godderz appear. Drake runs him down, and says that he needs to take care of him again and bash in his brains with his Feast or Fired case. Jessie stumbled over his words a bit as he basically said the same thing, and then they attacked Grado. Shera then ran out and made the save. Drake took out Shera with his briefcase, but when they tried to take out Grado, Grado ducked and Drake hit Jessie. Grado hit a cutter and stole Drake’s case and bailed. MEH.
* We get a special Kurt Angle video prior to his final match.
Kurt Angle’s Farewell Match: Kurt Angle vs. Lashley: Borash did the super special ring announcements to add a little something, something to the event. There will be no commercial breaks during the match, which I appreciate. These guys had one of the best TV matches in 2015, and while Angle is a year older, he’s had good matches during his farewell so this certainly has a chance to be great. Lashley looked to outwrestle Angle early, which led to him taking two German suplexes and taking a powder on the floor. Lashley again tried to score with roll ups and other attempts at grappling, but Angle tossed him with some suplexes. Lashley finally caught him and hit snake eyes for a near fall. Lashley got the heat from there, slowly working over Angle in the corner and trying to break him down. Lashley hit shoulder blocks in the corner, Angle got some small hope spots, but Lashley kept cutting him off. Lashley is really walking with a “give no fucks” attitude here, and it’s great. Angle scored with a few rolling Germans, but Lashley cut that off with a running powerslam. Angle countered the spear, but they botched the Angle slam pretty bad. Angle was bleeding from the mouth and followed with more rolling Germans, dropped the straps and got the ankle lock, but Lashley countered into the arm bar. They then went into the Angle approves series of counters into the ankle lock. Lashley escaped, scored with a spinebuster and spear, but Angle survived. Lashley was pissed about this, and then hit another spear for another near fall. Lashley looked as if his eyes were about top pop out of his head, and then missed a third spear, and Angle got another ankle lock and grape-vined the leg. Lashley teased tapping, because everyone taps to this; Angle pulled him back away from the ropes, Lashley broke and Angle posted himself and ate the spear and Lashley picked up the victory.
They embraced post match as the crowd cheered for Angle and Lashley held Angle’s hands high. He then cheap shotted Angle and hit another spear on him, and then tossed the ref to the floor. Galloway ran out for the save and yelled at Lashley. Galloway turned his back to check on Angle, and then ate a spear. Eddie Edwards tried to make the save and ate a spear. ANOTHER spear for Angle. BOBBY LASHLEY GIVES NO FUCKS! Ethan Carter III then made his way out and stared down with Lashley. Lashley baled, smiling at the carnage he left in the ring.
The match was a good match, not nearly what they accomplished last year, but it was a good main event. Lashley won and looked strong doing so as he won clean and survived the grape-vine leg gimmick that Angle puts everyone away with and Angle was more than competitive in taking the loss. The win and post match sets Lashley up as a top heel as well as a main event guy, along with Matt Hardy, EC3, Galloway, Bennett and likely the returning Jeff Hardy. Booking wise, I’d say it was mission accomplished. They need to make EC3 vs. Lashley a destination to build too along with Hardy vs. Hardy, do not rush this.
* Next week Jeff Hardy returns to face Eric Young, and EC3 challenges Matt Hardy for the TNA title.
* End scene.
* Thanks for reading.
“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”
