Dark Pegasus Video Review: Unforgiven 2002

Unforgiven 2002 by J.D. Dunn Corrections!: I said in my “Global Warning” review that both the Rock and HHH were babyfaces in their Triple Threat match with Brock Lesnar. AJP rightly asks if HHH hadn’t already turned on Shawn. Actually, it was kind of a silly situation in retrospect, because Hunter actually turned heel on Shawn and then, as a heel, turned heel on him again by attacking him in the parking lot. So you see, there was a big mystery surrounding who attacked Shawn Michaels, and it turned out that the culprit was the very man who he was feuding with. [sarcasm]How ironic.[/sarcasm] The original turn happened a few weeks before “Global Warning,” and the parking lot reveal was the Raw just before “Global Warning,” making Hunter a double-heel going into that show. So yes, you get the No-Prize. Re: Posting Links to Shows I’ve Already Reviewed (The Big Four) I would, but we’re hoping to have my reviews collected by date/promotion sometime soon. That will come in handy this Fall because — Tomko, give me a beat. Tomko: No. Ahem. I’m done with WWE reviews, except for a few (Survivor Series 97, Unforgiven 07, and Taboo Tuesday 05, all of which I have but slipped through the cracks for various reasons). I’ve already started on the NWA, and I’m up through Starrcade ’88. I’ll still go back and do various WWE house shows from 24/7 and Raws, but the PPVs, for the most part, are done. In fact, I have reviews posted (at a rate of one every 2-3 days) until the middle of October. Second priority is filling in the indy gaps. This was originally supposed to be top priority for the Summer, but I’m just enjoying the NWA too much (although Bunkhouse Stampede ’88 really put a damper on that). The beauty of being all-inclusive is that, if I feel myself getting sick of one promotion, I can switch it up and do some ROH, SHIMMER or FIP (which I’m really starting to like). Hell, I still have All Japan Classics that I haven’t done yet. Plus, Mike sent me some 2CW, so look for those over the next few weeks. But enough about the future, let’s look to the past and a pair of WWE brands that could not be more different. After Summerslam, Smackdown GM Stephanie McMahon shocked the WWE by signing Undisputed Champion Brock Lesnar to an exclusive deal. That meant no more world title matches for Raw. In retaliation, Raw GM Eric Bischoff resurrected the old “World Title” (the physical WCW belt) and gave it to Triple H, who was scheduled to be the #1 contender to Brock’s title. September 22, 2002 Live from Los Angeles, Calif. Your hosts are Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole and Tazz. Opening Match, 8-Man Tag: Christian, Lance Storm, William Regal & Test vs. Booker T, Goldust, Bubba Ray Dudley & Kane. Thankfully, the UnAmericans added William Regal after their formation. When you need someone to get across an idea of disdain with nothing more than a facial expression, you call in the expert. Goldust and Bubba team up for a double flip, flip & fly. Christian trips up Goldie, though. Bubba and Booker team up for the Wazzup Drop and go for the tables. The UnAmericans dropkick the table into Booker, though, and he plays your face-in-peril. Kane gets the hot tag and cleans house. He’s a hoss, you know. Test pump-handle slams Kane, but Booker kicks him to the floor. SPINAROONIE! Christian takes him out with the reverse DDT. Storm hits Kane with the superkick, but it only gets two. Kane blocks another superkick and chokeslams Storm for the win at 9:52. Solid opener. Kane got the win en route to his title match the following month, but Booker was the babyface of the moment. *** In the back, Stephanie McMahon tells Billy & Chuck that they have to win tonight. Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair. Flair beat Jericho at Summerslam, so Jericho is looking for some revenge here. The announcers go on and on about how amazing it is that Flair is still wrestling… and this was six years ago! Flair actually controls the match for the most part. He chops Jericho’s leg out from under him and hits a kneebreaker. Jericho misses the Lionsault and “injures his leg.” Flair turns his back as the trainer comes out, so Jericho jumps Flair from behind and puts him in the Walls of Jericho for the win at 6:18. Well, that sucked. Jericho only got a handful of moves in before the submission. The announcers talk about how embarrassed Flair must be for falling for that. Hmm. ** In the Raw office, Eric Bischoff introduces Three-Minute Warning’s new manager — Rico. Edge vs. Eddy Guerrero. Edge is coming into the match just after a concussion. Eddy tries to get him angry early and hits a Tornado DDT to take over. Eddy tries to twist Edge’s head off. Edge punches him right in the face to come back. Eddy loosens the turnbuckle pad, so the ref chastises him. Edge schoolboys Eddy for two and hits the Edge-o-Matic. Eddy runs up the ropes and goes for a huracanrana, but Edge counters to a powerbomb! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Eddy avoids the spear, and Edge hits the Edgecution. ONE, TWO, THRE-foot on the ropes. Eddy undoes the turnbuckle pad, but Edge spears him into it. Edge sets up for the superplex, but Eddy slams his face into the exposed turnbuckle and finishes with his SICK sunset flip bomb at 11:57. Great psychology and storytelling from Eddy. They excuse the loss as Edge having a concussion, but Eddy was a consummate cheating bastard, and this is where he really started to let that show. ***3/4 Triple H barges into the locker room and says Rob Van Dam has no passion and drive. He points out Ric Flair and says he used to have the drive. Hmm. Billy & Chuck (w/Stephanie McMahon) vs. Three-Minute Warning (w/Rico). 3MW is Rosey and Jamal. Jamal got in a bit of legal trouble before heading to Japan and coming back as… Umaga. Cole notes that Rosey and Jamal are from the ‘hood in Sunnydale, California. Yeah, not only are the gangs horrible there, but the vampires are thick. Only one Starbucks, I’m told. They isolate Chuck with their massive Samoan offense. You can really see how much Umaga/Jamal has matured over the years because this was just generic fat guy offense. Everyone needs a few years in Japan. Rosey misses a moonsault, allowing Billy to get the hot tag. Chuck superkicks Rosey, so Jamal superkicks Chuck. He picks him up for the press Samoan Drop, but Billy counters to a Fameasser in mid move. Great counter there. Rico gets in the ring, so Billy goes after him. That allows Jamal to recover and hit the press Samoan Drop at 6:39. This being 3MW’s first big-time match, it was a little disjointed. I think they had a solid gimmick – outside of being Bischoff’s lackeys – and it would have been interesting to see where they would have gone had life not intervened. * Bischoff was really in a no-lose situation. Since 3MW won, Stephanie has to perform Hot Lesbian Action. If he lost, he’d have to kiss her ass. World Heavyweight Title: Triple H vs. Rob Van Dam. Triple H was handed the resurrected World Title, but Ric Flair challenged him to a match so Hunter could prove himself. Hunter dispatched Flair later in the evening to cement himself as champ. Van Dam won a #1 contenders match, so here we are. Surprisingly, they go with kind of an old-school style of match as Van Dam slaps him in the face and takes Hunter down into a headlock. Hunter stalls a lot. Van Dam mocks the water-spit pose. OH SNAP, DAWG! Hunter outsmarts him (no, really) as Van Dam goes for a somersault plancha and Hunter just sidesteps him and lets him SPLAT on the floor. Hunter takes over on offense, and things calm down. Hunter goes up… and takes forever, so Van Dam slams him off. Hunter comes back with the sleeper (which actually worked and killed off Jeff Hardy’s mini-push on Raw). The ref gets bumped, so he’s unable to count when Rob hits the Five-Star Frogsplash. Hunter grabs the sledgehammer, but Van Dam kicks it back in his face. Ric Flair runs down and grabs the sledgehammer. HHH cowers, but Flair pulls THE SHOCKING SWERVE and nails Van Dam. Hunter hits the Pedigree as the ref recovers, and Hunter gets the win at 18:18. Former WWE scribe Seth Mates recently revealed on his blog that he pushed for Van Dam to be the first champion coming out of the title split, but he was overruled. It’s interesting to think of how things might have turned out – no Katie Vick. In the short run, things would have been MUCH better, but with no Evolution, Randy Orton and Batista might not be what they are today. Anyway, the match was okay when Van Dam was in control, but the Hunter parts were boring. Their meaningless posturing was actually more entertaining than the bulk of the match. **1/2 The guy from The Young & The Restless pops up in the locker room to talk with D-Lo Brown and Billy Kidman (oh and to nail Dawn Marie). This was the most random and awesome celebrity cameo ever. WWF Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus. Trish opens hot hitting a dropkick and a neckbreaker on Molly the fat-assed virgin. Molly comes back with the Goku-Raku stretch. Trish escapes and gets in some rollups before Molly drop toeholds her on the bottom rope. Molly blocks the Stratusphere (or whatever the handstand headscissors was called) and hits a handspring elbow. Trish catches her with the Wheelbarrow Bulldog for the win and the title, though (5:47). Trish celebrates tearfully. * In the back, Rico and 3MW celebrate with lesbians. O-kay. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit. This one gets overshadowed by their Royal Rumble match a few months later. Lots of jockeying for position early. Angle nearly gets the Anklelock, but Benoit makes the ropes. They go into that Flair-Steamboat bridge sequence, and Benoit rides Angle down into the Crossface. Angle scurries out of the ring. Both guys decide, “Hey, maybe I need to slow it down and wear the other guy down before going for my finisher.” Angle locks in the bodyscissors and then belly-to-belly suplexes Benoit for a double KO spot. Benoit recovers first and goes for ROLLING GERMANS, Angle reverses to his own ROLLING GERMANS, but Benoit reverses to more ROLLING GERMANS, but Angle reverses again to finish off the ROLLING GERMANS! DOWN COME THE STRAPS! Angle sets up for the Angleslam, but Benoit lands on his feet and hits the Full-Rotation German! Benoit goes up for the headbutt, but Angle runs up and hits the superplex. Benoit surprises him with a rollup, but Angle reverses it to the Anklelock. Benoit shoves him away and hits a Tombstone Shoulderbreaker. That sets up the Diving Headbutt for two. Benoit applies the Crossface, but Angle reaches over and grabs the ankle to counter to the Anklelock. Big pop for that! But Benoit reverses to the Crippler Crossface! Bigger pop! But Angle reverses to the Anklelock! Crowd is on the edge of their seats. Benoit makes the ropes, though. Angle gets pissed and says, “Okay, motherfucker! We’re kickin’ it up a notch!” and applies the Crippler Crossface. Benoit reaches for the ropes again, but Angle uses his foot to push them away. Awesome idea, but the ref catches him. Benoit shoves them both back over and puts his feet on the ropes to pick up the win at 13:56. Finally, wrestling had come back to the WWE after a year’s absence. The crowd was lukewarm after what basically amounted to an intermission during the women’s match. Once they hit the reversals, though, the crowd was hot. Sadly, there was more action here than in the all the previous matches combined. Would have been WWE MOTY had they not surpassed themselves the following month in the tag match. ****1/2 Eric Bischoff brings out his lesbians, “Peaches” and “Cream,” (har-dee fuckin’ har). Stephanie McMahon comes out to fulfill her obligation. Bischoff starts directing the lesbian porn like some Cinemax wannabe, but then he changes his mind and decides Stephanie should make out with the big fat ugly lesbian he found. Wow, that lesbian does not look at all like Rikishi. Hell, they would have been better off trying to pass off Big Show as a woman. Stephanie makes out with “Hildegard” before Hildy strips. ::GASP:: It’s Rikishi! He superkicks Bisch and gives him the Stinkface. So… just to recap. Stephanie realized that her team was going to lose, and sent “Hildegard” to Bischoff’s hotel room knowing that Bischoff would not recognize it was Rikishi and thus pick “her” to make out with Stephanie. That’s a very Scott Tenorman-like scenario. WWE Heavyweight Title: Brock Lesnar (w/Paul Heyman) vs. The Undertaker. Lesnar and Heyman terrorized Taker’s pregnant wife Sara, causing her to have false labor. Even his kid won’t sell! Taker shoves Brock out of the ring and then clotheslines him out again. Brock is irate. Taker reverses a hammerlock to an armdrag. Seriously? Brock WAY oversells the flying clothesline, and the Undertaker hits the Old School Ropewalk Forearm. Heyman panics and gets on the apron, so Taker goes after him. That allows Brock to spear him into the corner and work the ribs. Brock grabs the bearhug. Taker slugs his way out of it (because “he’s a striker”). Lesnar spills to the floor but hits Taker with the title belt. Taker shrugs it off, even though he’s busted open. Back in, Taker boots Lesnar in the face for two. The ref gets bumped and doesn’t see Taker cleanly finish off Lesnar with the chokeslam. Say, didn’t the exact same thing happen in the first title match. Okay, it was a Five-Star Frogsplash in the first match, and the chokeslam here, but you get the idea. Matt Hardy runs in to attack the Undertaker, but he gets killed dead with the Last Ride. The ref gets bumped again, and Heyman tosses Lesnar a chair. Taker boots Lesnar in the face, though, and steals it from him. Taker blasts Lesnar with the chair, knocking him out of the ring. Brock is bleeding now. Taker hits ANOTHER big boot and drops a leg for two. Oh, see, because Brock squashed Hogan… Lesnar blocks the Last Ride, but Taker uses his cat-like quickness to block the F5. Taker and Lesnar slug it out until referee Brian Hebner (who should be dead by now, given all the bumps) disqualifies both guys at 20:24. Apparently, Matt Hardy was supposed to cost Taker the match, but according to Da Meltz, Taker didn’t want to lose. Some people justify this finish by saying it lead to a much better Hell in a Cell match, but again, there are other ways to accomplish the same thing without screwing the crowd. The match was a mess outside of Brock bumping around like a madman for Taker’s offense. *3/4

The 411: Had they been doing branded PPVs at this point instead of co-branded PPVs, the Smackdown side of things would have been awesome. The opener is good, the Edge/Guerrero match is good, and the Benoit/Angle match is fantastic. The rule is three good matches and no bad matches equal an easy "thumbs up," but a number of bad matches (and bad booking) drag this back down to where it's a close call. I'll call it a mild thumbs up because the three good matches were just good enough to overcome the suckiness. Mild thumbs up.

Final Score:  6.5   [ Average ]