From the Bowery: SummerSlam ’93

From the Bowery: SummerSlam ‘93
-August 30, 1993
-Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, MI

Quick Personal Note: As noted before I broke my finger playing softabll at the end of June. Well here we are in December and my finger is still not healed. The first surgery in July didn’t work as it dislocated again. A second opinion and a second, more involved surgery (in November) seemingly has me back on track. Therapy for a little while longer, but thankfully there is improvement. I’ve blown out knees, cracked my sternum, and destroyed ankles, yet a finger has given me the most trouble.

Announce Team: Vince McMahon and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

Razor Ramon vs. Ted Dibiase

-Dibiase is sporting his alternate white trunks here, and Ramon sports his pink tights and boots. Ramon gets jumped before the bell as he tries to take off the gold around his neck. Dibiase pounds away, but a whip gets reversed and a backdrop sends Ted flying. A fall-away slam and a right hand send Dibiase to the floor where he regroups. They start fresh in the ring and Dibiase backs Ramon into the corner. He lands several shots, but gets dropped with a clothesline. A second clothesline sends Dibiase over the top rope and to the floor. He gets brought back in via a slingshot, but suckers Ramon in by begging off, and using the tights to send Razor crashing into the turnbuckle. A blatant choke from Dibiase to a grounded Ramon and that draws some good heat from the crowd. A back elbow drops Ramon and a backbreaker gets a two count. Dibiase gets another two count off a clothesline, and applies a reverse chinlock. The crowd starts to rally behind Ramon and he feeds off that to get back to his feet. Dibiase buries a knee in the abdomen to keep the advantage. A neckbreaker continues the damage on Ramon’s neck/throat as a way to prep for the Million Dollar Dream. A suplex follows and he looks for the Dream, but Razor counters with an elbow. Ramon hits a desperation clothesline and that leaves both men down for the count. They stagger to their feet and Ramon gets sent into the buckle before falling to the outside. Dibiase exposes the steel buckle in the corner while the ref starts his 10 count. That comes back to bite Ted in the ass though as he gets sent into the steel, and the Razor’s Edge finishes things at 7:32.

Winner: Razor Ramon via pin at 7:32
-Solid opener with Dibiase being a pro and putting over the hot new act in Ramon. The crowd was heavily into Ramon and Dibiase was still a big enough name that it helped Ramon on his way up the card. **1/4

WWF Tag Team Championship: The Steiner Brothers vs. The Heavenly Bodies (w/ Jim Cornette)

-The Bodies jump the Steiners before the bell and isolate Rick. Scott tries to get back in, but keeps getting knocked off the apron. Rick takes a high quality shit kicking before Scott finally makes the save. Now the Bodies are screwed as things are even once again. The Steiners toss the Bodies all around the ring in impressive fashion as Cornette has a heart attack on the floor. McMahon channels Jim Ross as he fires off the high school and college careers of the Steiner Brothers since they are in their home area for this PPV. Things finally settle into a standard tag match as Pritchard gets his head ripped off by a clothesline from Rick. Del Ray tries to interfere and he gets killed with a clothesline for good measure. The Bodies hit the floor and regroup with Cornette. Scott gets the tag and he dominates both members of the Bodies for a brief period. Finally the Bodies get the advantage after Scott gets bulldogged. Pritchard hits an enziguiri and tosses Scott to the floor. Del Ray hits a senton off the apron onto Rick and Heenan calls it a moonsault. McMahon takes Heenan’s word for it and calls it a moonsault as well. Back in the ring the Bodies continue to double team Scott. Heenan informs us that on his scorecard the Bodies are ahead 1100-9. Scott continues to be your future jacked up WCW Champion in peril. Cornette gets in a shot with his racket just for good measure and that rightly pisses off the crowd. Scott finally catches Del Ray with a suplex, but he gets cut off before he can make the tag. Pritchard gets killed with a double underhook suplex and finally the hot tag is made to Rick. He delivers clotheslines to anything related to Smokey Mountain. All four men now do battle, and Scott gets sent to the floor. The racket gets tossed in and Rick gets blasted, but he is out at two. Del Ray heads up top, but the moonsault misses and hits Pritchard. Scott hits the Frankensteiner on Del Ray and Rick gets the pin at 9:28.

Winners and Still WWF Tag Champions: The Steiner Brothers via Rick pin on Pritchard at 9:28
-Damn fine tag match here. Criminally short as I suspect they could have torn the house down, but what we got was solid. ***1/4

-Joe Fowler interviews Shawn (w/ Diesel) to hype the IC Title match with Mr. Perfect.

WWF Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels © (w/ Diesel) vs. Mr. Perfect

-This match has crazy hype as they basically promised the greatest match ever. Most were thinking this would rival Steamboat/Savage and Hart/Bulldog for greatest IC Match ever. This match is what most thought of when Angle/Michaels had all the hype as greatest match ever before it even took place at WM 21. Thankfully they were able to deliver while Shawn/Perfect…well, I am getting ahead of myself. Right off the bat Vince claims this will be one of the greatest IC Title matches you will ever see here. They fight over a headlock to start and Michaels uses the hair to keep the hold. Finally Perfect shoots off, but Michaels flips out of a back suplex. They collide in the center of the ring and even Heenan isn’t sure who got the worst of that. Seems it is Shawn as Perfect takes advantage with an armbar. They fight over that and Shawn gets a headlock after walking up the corner buckles. Shawn tries to drop an elbow, but Perfect moves. Perfect lights Shawn’s chest up with some chops in the corner, but Michaels hits a back elbow in a weird spot. Apparently they miss timed something as they repeat the spot but this time Shawn gets clothesline for two. They head back to the mat and Perfect controls with an armbar. Shawn fights back to his feet and powers Perfect into the corner. He delivers a few shoulders, but gets an Irish Whip reversed. Perfect misses a charge, but Shawn gets caught with an armdrag off the tope rope. Perfect gets a two count off a second armdrag and then goes back to the armbar. The pace quickens and Shawn gets caught trying a dropkick, and Perfect catapults him over the top rope to the floor. Diesel provides enough of a distraction for Shawn to hit Sweet Chin Music (not his finisher at the time) on the floor. He comes off the apron with an elbow as he starts to work on Perfect’s lower back. Back in the ring we go and Shawn continues to punish the lower back. A rather impressive Irish whip to the corner appears to have killed Perfect. Great camera action there only added to the move. Shawn bends Perfect back first over his knee, but the crowd rallies Perfect back to his feet. Perfect leapfrogs over Shawn and delivers a dropkick. A backdrop sends Shawn flying and a knee lift follows. Perfect gets a two count off a knee breaker as Heenan yells at him for not hooking the tights. They fight over a backslide, and Perfect counters to the Perfect-Plex. Diesel pulls Perfect out of the ring and Shawn accidentally hits Diesel. Perfect tosses Shawn back in the ring and while the ref’s back is turned, Diesel sends Perfect into the post. The ref counts Perfect out at 11:20. Perfect looks for revenge after the match, but gets knocked out by a right hand from Diesel.

Winner: Shawn Michaels via count-out at 11:20
-This just wasn’t very good at all considering the talent in the ring. The high expectations probably didn’t help either. For some reason these two just didn’t click. Their timing was off on some things, and the horrible cop-out finish did them no favors. **1/4

-Fowler interviews The 1-2-3 Kid who is making his PPV debut after the upset of Razor Ramon earlier in the year. Your cookie cutter baby face, underdog interview.

IRS vs. The 1-2-3 Kid

-IRS powers kid into the corner, but once the pace quickens things go in favor of the Kid. IRS decides to slow things back down and stalls as much as he can in the early part of the match. He tosses the kid around the ring with ease and mocks him to the crowd. He tries to toss him a second time, but the Kid hits a dropkick. A back elbow stops that noise as IRS regains control. The Kid gets sent to the floor and IRS clobbers him with a forearm. Kid gets a roll-up for two after flipping into the ring. That pisses IRS off though and he kills kid with a clothesline. He locks in an abdominal stretch, and uses the rope for leverage in fine fashion. Words of wisdom from Heenan: “Cheating is only cheating when you get caught and bragging is only bragging when you can’t back it up.” I love Heenan! IRS hooks in a reverse chinlock, and the crowd starts at 1-2-3 chant. That fires the kid up and he opens up with kicks in the corner. He hits the moonsault (that knocked off Razor), but IRS is out at two. A flying lariat stops Kid cold in his tracks and that gets the win for IRS at 5:44.

Winner: IRS via pin at 5:44
-Ok match that followed a very simple formula. IRS dominates with power and takes Kid too lightly leading to a flurry by the underdog. In the end not enough as one power move ends things. Not PPV quality or anything, but served its purpose. *3/4

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

-This was supposed to be Lawler vs. Hart to settle who the real King was in the WWF. Tragically Lawler comes hobbling to the ring on crutches and with an ice bag on his knee. Heenan is awesome as he tries all he can to put over Lawler’s injury and put over the courage he is displaying by even showing up tonight. Lawler gives us a hilarious story about a blue haired old lady causing a ten car pile-up that destroyed his knee. He still wants to fight Bret, but doctors have ruled him out, and only Heenan is buying what Lawler’s selling. Lawler names Doink the Clown (his court jester) as his replacement. I miss this Jerry Lawler on Monday Night RAW. Doink’s evil clown music is bad ass, and turning him face ruined the character. He tosses confetti on some fans at ringside and then tosses water on Owen and Bruce Hart. That’s enough playing around as Bret starts taking out his frustration on Doink. A clothesline sends Doink over the top and to the floor. The ass kicking continues on the floor as Bret is showing a mean streak which is appreciated. Heenan relates a hilarious story as he mentions that Lawler crawled out of the wreckage and saved 45 kids on a school bus and bought them burgers before arriving at the arena. What makes the story all the more awesome is hearing Heenan get choked up as he speaks. Doink heads up top, but gets caught with a right hand, and then gets dropped on his face. Bret goes after Lawler on the floor and that gives Doink the opening he needs. He fires Bret head first into the stairs before heading up top again and landing a double axe back in the ring. Bret blocks a punch, and gets a headlock, but Doink breaks by going after the knee. Doink wraps Bret’s knee around the ring post to continue the damage. They head back in the ring, and Doink smartly hooks an STF, but Bret rolls to relieve the pressure, and gets back to his feet. He breaks the hold, but charges into a knee that keeps Doink in control. He hooks in the Stump Puller, and ever the great heel, he hooks the top rope for leverage. The ref (Bill Alphonso) catches Doink cheating and has him break the hold. Doink heads up after slamming Bret and looks for the Whoopi Cushion. Bret is able to get up his knees and Doink gets his balls crushed. The Five Moves of Doom follow and the Sharpshooter looks to finish, but Lawler kills Bret with the crutch as he is miraculously healed. There’s actually no bell to end the match and there is no announcement about who won (Hart by DQ at 9:05 seems about right). Instead Jack Tunney and some official stop Lawler in the aisle. Tunney informs Finkel who lets the crowd know that Lawler must wrestle Bret now or he will be banned from the WWF for life.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler

-We get an opening bell for this match and the crowd is rabid as Bret just mauls Lawler in the aisle. He beats the piss out of him as they head back to the ring. Lawler tries all he can to escape, but he can’t get far enough. Bret uses the crutch on the floor as Heenan screams for a DQ. There’s just something so right with Alphonso being the ref and letting the crutch be used as a weapon. Lawler grabs a piece of the crutch and gets a shot in to finally get the advantage. He chokes with the crutch and then pulls Bret balls first into the ring post. Lawler goes old school as he hides the crutch and manipulates the ref so he can cheat to win. That gets the reaction you would expect from the crowd. Lawler poses as he is pleased with himself, but that gives Bret a chance to recover as he catches Lawler in the balls with a mule kick. Lawler pulls the strap down and Heenan is smart enough to catch the significance of that move. It makes no difference though as Bret beats the hell out of Lawler and drills him with a piledriver. He hooks in the Sharpshooter and Lawler gives it up at 6:32. That’s not good enough for Bret though as he refuses to break the hold. Officials pour into the ring, but they can’t get Bret to break the hold. The crowd erupts as Bret keeps applying the pressure and Heenan blows a gasket screaming for the hold to be released. The ring is now full of refs and suits as Lawler has been in the hold for a hell of a long time. Bret has stated that this was payback for the stiff shots he received from Lawler with the scepter at the King of the Ring two month earlier. Lawler looks to be in considerable pain as Bret finally lets go of the hold after 3:25. Finkel lets everyone know that the ref has reversed the decision and disqualified Bret for refusing to break the hold. Bret is rightly pissed after the match and he goes after Lawler. Bruce Hart gets some shots in as Lawler gets wheeled away on a stretcher. Every the asshole Lawler even raises his hand as he is carted out of the arena. Good stuff all around here.

Winner: Jerry the King Lawler via DQ at 6:32
-Doink/Hart was easily the better match, but all this needs to be looked at as a whole. Everything about this (including Heenan on commentary) was awesome. Sure nothing was all that great about the in ring work (though Doink/Hart was pretty good) the sum of all the parts made this memorable. ****

-Ludvig Borga threatens Luger from a rundown building somewhere in Detroit. He runs down America and ends thing by promising to tear apart Marty Jannetty.

Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga

-Borga is your standard anti-American heel, but kind of refreshing as he is from the US’s long time heated rival: Finland. Borga dominates Jannetty in the early going. He tosses Jannetty into the air and punches him on his way back down. Sweet! Jannetty gets backed into the corner and gets caught with some stiff shots to the ribs. A blind charge gives Marty a break, but doesn’t last long as he runs into a right hand. Borga sets early on a back drop attempt, but Jannetty gets caught again with a right hand as he tries to get a sunset flip. The crowd is a little burned out after the Doink/Hart/Lawler drama, so Borga hooking a bear hug isn’t helping. The wake up when Borga fucks up Jannetty’s life with a clothesline (with 360 sell). Jannetty moves out of the way from a right hand and sneaks in a superkick. He hits a second one, but Borga stays on his feet. Borga catches Jannetty coming off the middle rope and drops him to the canvas. The Torture Rack finishes at 5:15.

Winner: Ludvig Borga via submission at 5:15
-This is exactly what it should have been as the new bad ass heel killed the pretty boy baby face. SQUASH

Rest in Peace Match: The Undertaker vs. The Giant Gonzalez (w/ Harvey Wippleman)

-Rest in Peace Match basically means no DQ and no count-out. Taker is without Paul Bearer here, and the urn resides with Wippleman. The bell sounds and Taker immediately attacks the Giant. Wippleman distracts Taker and that gives Gonzalez a chance to land a big boot. Taker ducks a clothesline and hits his leaping clothesline, but Gonzalez won’t do down. They head to the floor and do some weak brawling, but at least showing some energy. Gonzalez grabs a chair and things pick up as he delivers a rather impressive sounding shot with the chair Taker’s back. The Undertaker gets sent into the stairs before things head back into the ring. Taker crawls to the urn and nearly reaches it, but Harvey snatches it away. It’s kind of weird seeing Taker being the one who has to bump to carry a match at this point in his WWF run. A gong goes off to wake up the crowd and Paul Bearer makes his way to ring side carrying a black wreath. Wippleman takes off his coat and charges at Paul only to get caught with a clothesline. Bearer regains control of the urn, and that crowd goes nuts. Only in pro-wrestling can a pasty faced fat man grabbing an urn get a reaction like that. Bearer holds the urn high and Vince sells this as something straight out of Genesis. Taker sits up and starts firing off clotheslines that rock the big man. It takes 5 clotheslines and a right hand to bring Gonzalez down to one knee. A clothesline from the top finally gets Gonzalez off his feet, and once down he can’t get back up as the pin follows at 8:04. Gonzalez kills Wippleman after the match with a chokeslam. That seemingly turns him face as the crowd cheers.

Winner: The Undertaker via pin at 8:04
-This was pretty horrible, but Bearer’s return at least kept the crowd awake. 1/2*

-Fowler speaks with Cornette, Fuji, and Yokozuna. Cornette goes on a rant about the Heavenly Bodies being cheated. He promises the same thing won’t happen to Yokozuna.

Tatanka and The Smoking Gunns vs. Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Luna) and The Headshrinkers (w/ Afa)

-I know it has been mentioned by others, but Tatanka teaming with cowboys just seems wrong for some reason. Breaking News: Bobby Heenan has gotten word that Shawn Michaels has left the building. Impressive start as the faces charge and get dropped with a clothesline from each of the heels. That will teach ‘em. Tatanka and Bigelow start and its Tatanka that gets off to a quick start with a dropkick and back body drop. They each try for a cross body and collide in the center of the ring. Tatanka got the worst of the situation it seems as Bigelow makes the tag first. Tatanka also gets to his corner, and Billy gets destroyed with a sweet ass superkick from Fatu. Billy does get a top rope bulldog, but doesn’t last long as the Shrinkers start to double team. Samu sends Billy to his corner with a right hand and that backfires as he is able to make the tag to Bart. He is a cowboy on a mission for a few minutes before the power game goes back into play. Bigelow gets the tag and hits a nice dropkick for two. Fatu gets the tag and gets two off a powerslam. More quick tags as Samu comes in and bites at Bart’s forehead. Heenan makes my day by also pointing out that cowboys and Indians should never be on the same page. Fatu delivers a sick clothesline and Bart apparently wants to one up Jannetty as he does a 360 sell of his own. Bart gets trapped in the heel corner and all 3 beat the snot out of him in impressive fashion. I am thoroughly enjoying this ass kicking of the cowboys. Sadly, Bigelow misses a charge and instead hits the ring post. Tatanka gets the hot tag and he is on the war path as he dominates Bigelow. He slams the big man to pop the crowd and a DDT leaves Bigelow lying. He heads up top and a crossbody gets a two count. Bigelow is able to get a few shots in, but Tatanka starts to Indian-up (I guess). Bigelow cuts that off with an enziguiri and there is a small section of the audience that cheers. Seems I am not the only one impressed with the bad asses in this match. All hell breaks loose and Tatanka gets trapped with the heels in the ring. Tatanka is royal screwed and eats a triple headbutt. The massacre continues as all three men come off the top rope, but sadly Tatanka moves. Had Afa gotten on the top rope we could have gotten the 4 Post Massacre that defeated Jimmy The King in “Ready to Rumble.” In all the chaos that follows Tatanka gets a roll-up for three at 11:15.

Winners: Tatanka and The Smoking Gunns via pin at 11:15
-That ending leaves me a little pissed as Bigelow and the Headshrinkers were pretty damn impressive. This match was lots of fun thanks to the heels kicking the shit out of the faces. ***1/4

WWF Title: Yokozuna © (w/ Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette) vs. Lex Luger

-This was supposed to be Hogan vs. Hart (if you believe Hart) for the WWF Title to pay off WrestleMania IX. That didn’t happen as Vince got tired of Hogan’s games and Yokozuna pinned him with a leg drop at the King of the Ring in June to send Hogan packing for 9 years. Editorial Note: For all those that hate Hogan and put Bret on a pedestal; Hogan did the j-o-b on his way out to his own finisher unlike a certain Canadian Hero some 4 years later in Montreal. Just saying! Anyway, Yokozuna was now your dominate champion, and since he was a foreigner, we needed an All American hero because it worked so well with Hogan in the 80s. Enter Lex Luger who answered Yokozuna’s body slam challenge aboard the USS Intrepid on July 4. Luger wanted a title shot and went cross country on a bus to rally the American fans behind him. To further get the crowd behind Luger, the Japanese National Anthem is sung before the Main Event. This crowd is molten at this point thanks to xenophobia running wild in Auburn Hills, Michigan. I guess to be fair; Randy Savage (decked in a red, white, and blue tuxedo) comes to the ring with Aaron Neville who sings “The Star Spangled Banner.” That’s actually a pretty sweet way to set the stage for the Main Event as it has the crowd rocking. The caveat for this match, thanks to Cornette, is that this is Luger’s one and only chance at Yokozuna and the Title. I sure hope he doesn’t choke it away! Savage introduces Lex Luger and he’s no Howard Finkel. Luger does get a rather impressive pop, and Heenan mentions Luger better not blow his once chance here. They stare each other down to start and Fuji tries to sneak into the ring, but it backfires. Luger isn’t sure how to handle the size of Yoko in early going, but he is smart enough to avoid the Hulk-busting leg drop. Luger is able to get Yoko to the mat and nets a two count off an elbow drop. He backs Yoko into the corner and pounds away. He fires the champ into the opposite corner and follows him with a clothesline. He mounts Yokozuna in the corner, and pounds away with right hands. The ref pulls Luger off and that gives Yokozuna an opening. He drops Luger with a chop and chokes away in the corner. Fuji tries to toss salt, but Luger avoids and goes back to delivering right hands. He looks for the slam, but his back gives out. Yokozuna hits a superkick, and the crowd is pissed. Luger gets pounded out of the ring and has to crawl around on the floor to get back to his feet. Vince leaves me speechless as he actually puts over Luger by saying he was a straight A student in college. I don’t know if that is true or not, but that’s not something he hear about a face very often. A chair gets involved, but Luger is able to avoid that as well. They head back into the ring and Luger comes off the middle rope with a double axe. He heads up top and delivers a second one, but Yoko won’t fall. Finally he gets dropped after a top rope forearm. That only gets two though because of the padding that Luger is forced to wear. Luger tries to build momentum off the ropes, but we get the double clothesline spot. That leaves both men down, and the crowd is a little concerned. Cornette distracts the ref on the apron so that Fuji can toss the salt bucket to Yokozuna. Luger gets creamed with the wooden bucket (sledge hammer it’s not), but Luger is out at two. Luger gets flattened with a belly to back suplex, but is able to kick out at two. The groan from the crowd was rather impressive. That was the great thing about Yokozuna. He could hit the simplest moves, but due to his size the crowd thought it was the end for his opponent. Case in point a side suplex follows and again the crowd is in awe. Things slow down as Yoko hooks in a nerve hold. The crowd stays with them though as they start chanting “USA.” Luger rallies to his feet and elbows his way out of the hold. He gets stupid though and goes for the slam again. That goes as well as one would expect as Yoko falls back on Luger for two. The leg drop finally hits, and Luger gets his shoulder off the mat before three again. Luger’s corpse gets dragged to the corner, but the Banzai Drop misses. The crowd rallies Luger again, and they exchange blows in the corner. Yokozuna gets the better of the exchange, but he misses a splash in the corner. Luger finally gets the slam (kind of), and he decks Fuji for good measure. Luger removes the padding and sends Yoko to the floor with the running forearm. Cornette gets punched in the mouth, and Yoko gets counted out at 17:58. The crowd pops as they apparently don’t realize that Yoko is still the champion. The Steiners hit the ring and parade Luger around on their shoulders with Savage and Tatanka celebrating. The crowd finally starts to realize that Luger isn’t the champion and that kind of tempers the celebration. Balloons fall from the ceiling as Yokozuna is still out cold on the floor. We get all this fanfare for a guy that wins by count-out and doesn’t get the title back to the good Ole’ USA?

Winner: Lex Luger via count-out at 17:58
-I guess they did a good enough job covering up the fact that Luger didn’t win the title with the celebration, but as Heenan stated on commentary, Luger blew his one shot. It was evident here that Bret was the #1 guy in the fan’s eyes (Taker probably #2), and it didn’t take a bus wrapped in red, white, and blue to make him the man. Luger not winning the title here didn’t help his cause either as it only added to his label as a choke artist. Coincidentally it was in the same arena 4 years later that Luger would finally win the big one when he defeated Hogan for the WCW Title. The match itself was the best of the series between the two, but that’s not saying a lot. Thankfully the white hot crowd made this more enjoyable and Luger was doing all he could in the ring to justify his spot. **

The 411: Horrible finishes all over the place in this show as 3 of the 4 most over faces in the roster were involved in screwy finishes. Perfect/Michaels disappointed everyone and the ending sucked balls. Hart/Lawler/Doink was great story telling, and the only real saving grace on this show. The 6 Man Tag was fun, but when a throw away 6 man tag is 2nd best match on the PPV, you have problems.
Final Score:  5.5   [ Not So Good ]