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Impact Zone! It’s Thursday Night, which means that we are in for a brand-new edition of the delight known as Impact! Better still, tonight’s episode is LIVE (no, not LIVE to TAPE) from the Boeing Center in San Antonio, Texas, the home of the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels! Tonight’s show will feature a 3-way dance for the International Title, a number one contender’s match for the Knockouts TV Title, and even more!

Apparently, Mustafa Ali is healed up after the injuries he suffered back at Lockdown, since he is putting his International Title on the line against both Jason Hotch AND Trey Miguel. There will be a 4-way dance for the right to challenge Knockouts TV Champion M by Elegance featuring Elayna Black, Harley Hudson, Jada Stone, and Gabby Forza.

Elsewhere on the card, we will see Edward Edwards face Elijah, BDE and Rich Swann facing The Righteous AGAIN, and in a stroke of pure magic and unironic intentions, we will hear from the Hardys. I still can’t believe that Jeff made such a quick and miraculous recovery! All of this and, of course, so much more in store for us tonight!

So, how is everyone doing on this Thursday Night? Eagles have started off 2-0 even if they aren’t sexy wins, but I will take ugly wins over pretty losses any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Only SIX more days until the Flyers season opens the Penguins, and the Fever will look to close the season strong and defeat the Lynx again tonight!

But, enough about me and enough about you, let’s get ready to brace for Impact!

Tonight, we are in the Lone Star State! Tom Hannifan and Matt Rehwoldt will be on the call!

The show opens with all of the people who have been laid out over the past weeks and months and we get an EPIC look at the assailant’s feet! Cut to Mila Moore on the phone, and we see Special Agent Zero wreck both Trey Miguel and Jason Hotch.

I’M READY FOR YOU aka the Title Sequence!

Leon Slater is out here to get things started! AYE, San Antonio, are you good, YEAH? He repeats it because of his accent lol. He’s doing good as well, hell of a lot better than he was doing last week. Last week he had to share the ring with Ryan Nemeth, and it was tragic. But by the end of it, he beat the RAZZ out of that BROTHER! And you know when there is one Nemeth there is another one, and of course Nic laid him out after the match. Slater doesn’t know why Nemeth would attack him from behind, but he finally understands it. Slater is getting bigger, he is getting stronger, and he knows that he can beat Nemeth for the World Title! Leon doesn’t want to wait for Bound for Glory! Nic Nemeth, get your ass out here right now!

Ask and you shall get the Wanted Man! Nic wants everyone to shut up for a minute because he has work to do. You think Nic attacked you because he is afraid of you? The only thing he is afraid of is what he will do to him at BFG. There is a difference between being a future star and a World Champion, like Nic is. And his younger brother will be in an X-Division title qualifier later tonight, and they might run TNA forever! But back to you and your potential, maybe your father didn’t teach you how to use it or teach you about respect.

Slater says it’s funny that you think he would be that stupid, and it’s funnier that you would think I didn’t realize Ryan is behind me. Slater elbows Ryan in the mouth and trades hands with Nic! Security is here, but Nic and Leon both take them out and continue fighting!

Santino Marella is here! SONOFAGUN, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Look at the damage and the carnage because you can’t wait to get your hands on each other and wait for Bound for Glory. But as of right now, you two are BANNED from touching each other! And there will be consequences; if Nic touches Leon, then he will be stripped of the title, but if Leon touches Nic, then he will not get his title shot. You can get face-to-face and insult each other, but there will be no physicality! Damn, Santino channeling his Daria Rae here.

Matt Hardy is in the back. He knows that there are at least two attackers, maybe more. And they got him last week, but he is still here, as is his brother Jeff. Oh, hey, look guys, Jeff is TOTALLY fine now! They call out the mystery attackers and say that the time has come to show us who you really are.

Tom runs down our matches for tonight. Nic’s Little Brother will face KJ Orso, next!

BREAK IN PROGRESS!

We see Rebel’s likeness on the screen and Tom says that she will always be a member of the TNA Family.

Daria Rae is on her phone. Here comes Indi Hartwell. She says that they aren’t afraid of her anymore, and Daria tells her to get out of her face. Indi thinks that Daria is afraid of her, but she laughs and tells Indi to leave. Indi challenges to her hit, and Daria does! Indi laughs and asks someone if they got that. We see Santino Marella on his phone taking video of this! Yahtzee! They walk off as Daria looks concerned.

KJ Orso aka the former Fuego Del Sol makes his entrance and has an inset promo. Here comes the LITTLE BROTHER!

TNA X-Division Title Match Qualifier: Tag Team Champion Ryan Nemeth vs. KJ Orso

In the words of one Robert Winfree, “twenty-two minutes with no wrestling, no bueno!”

The bell rings and Nemeth takes Orso to the mat with a fireman’s carry. Orso with an arm drag and a kick to the left arm of Ryan. More arm drags from Orso, who works over said arm. Nemeth to the corner, Orso flies into his midsection and mugs for the camera. Gut wrenches from Orso, but Nemeth is out at two. Orso looking KJ Klutch, but Nemeth to the ropes. He sends KJ spilling to the floor and hits the neckbreaker. Nemeth returns Orso to the ring and he gets a two on the pin.

Nemeth gyrates behind Orso and then locks on something that looks like the Million-Dollar Dream. Orso back to his feet, but Nemeth throws him down and poses. Nemeth with a corner clothesline and another cocky cover for a two. Nemeth with a front face takedown and pins him for a two. Ryan does another pose over top of Orto and tries to give him some free dental work.

Orso to his feet, he drops Nemeth and hits a standing moonsault! Thrust kick from KJ, looking for the Klutch, but he settles for the KJ Driver. Nemeth kicks out at two. Klutch attempt, but Nemeth backs Orso to the corner. Stalling DDT from Ryan gets him a two. Neckbreaker, no, inside out suplex from Orso! KJ off the ropes with a springboard spiral! Orso finally gets his Klutch in, but Nemeth gets to the ropes and rolls up KJ for a two. Nemeth begs off in the ropes, and as the ref backs off KJ, Ryan attacks from behind. Nemeth throws Orso into the ring post shoulder first and hits the Hollywood Ending for the win.
WINNER: Ryan Nemeth
TIME: 6:40
THOUGHTS: Ryan winning is like getting the old school bag of crap on your porch set on fire and you stomp on it only to realize that there was crap in the bag. Hopefully Orso sticks around, though.
RATING: ***1/4

We see Rosemary in the back, wearing a straitjacket. We see Courtney Rush talking to her! So, one gimmick to another, got it. She wants her to start from the beginning.

BREAK IN PROGRESS!

Promo for Bound for Glory, coming to us on October 11th from Tampa, Florida!

Tom pimps the Hardy Party at Bound for Glory.

We cut to the Order-4. Mustafa Ali wants to know whose dumb idea it was to have him out of the hospital and defending his title in the main event? Whoever said that was irresponsible, stupid, dumb, and lacks brains. Oh, wait, it was you, Mila! You’re no brains, all bimbo! John Skyler sticks up for her and says she kept everything running within Order-4 while Ali was out. Ali laughs and says you did hear what she said about you last week, right? He leaves, Mila tries to thank John, he leaves, and Mila needs comfort. I’ll be back, guys!

Super Mex Hernandez is here in the front row! Tom says he needs to border toss Matt lol.

It’s time for the feud no one asked for to continue!

Dot Combat match: Rich Swann and BDE vs. The Righteous

So, it’s basically a no-holds barred match. Okay.

Swann and BDE hit the ring, but it’s the Righteous who get the upper hand. Swann bites the hand of Vincent and then hits Dutch with a twisting sky press! Back in the ring, and we get a variation of the 3-D on Vincent! WE WANT TABLES chants as BDE and Swann introduce some weapons. BDE “plugs a controller into the back of Swann and he “controls” Swann hitting Vincent with a chair. That was clever.

The guys end up fighting up the ramp, where the Righteous take over. Vincent pins Swann on the ramp for a two, while Dutch hits a neck breaker to BDE at the top of the ramp. The beating continues on the floor during the break as the fans continue to chant for the use of tables. Vincent jams a chair into the Swann’s throat and then smacks his face off of it. Dutch runs into the ring steps, but it doesn’t stop him from his mission to kill BDE. Vincent hits the Raven drop toehold into the chair, but Rich is out at two.

Vincent sets up another chair in the ring as Dutch gives us his famous tongue action. Swann fights back in the ring with a chair to the gut of Vincent. A third chair is set up, as both men trade hands while Dutch just walks around outside. Rich and Vincent end up on top of the chairs, but Vincent drops Swann balls first on the edge of the chair! The fighting continues on top of the chairs, Swann looking suplex, but Vincent connects with repeat headbutts. Vincent drops Swann with a bulldog into the chair! He throws him into another chair for a two.

Swann is back to life, and he hits a windmill kick to Vincent! Dutch finally returns to the ring, and he breaks up the pin and powerbombs Swann to the mat. BDE slides into the ring as Dutch wedges a chair in the corner. Dutch lines up both Rich and BDE, but they move, and Dutch is hoisted by his own baton. Thrust kicks from Swann and BDE, but Dutch gets up and screams. Stereo thrust kicks into a double team CUTTER!

Swann confirms my suspicions that they are the Dudleys as he tells Brandon to GET THE TABLES! They set up one leg on the table and look to suplex Dutch through it, but Vincent is alive. He drops Swann on his face and returns BDE to the ring, but Brandon with a CUTTER! he looks to dive on top of Dutch, but like an outfielder, Dutch caught him. BDE fights free, but Swann ends up getting splashed through the table by Dutch!

Back in the ring, and BDE connects with the Clip Cutter. He heads to the top and hits a splash. The cover, but Dutch pulls him out of the ring. BDE escapes back into the ring, but Dutch is back, and they hit Orange Sunshine for the win.
WINNERS: The Righteous
TIME: 12:35
THOUGHTS: This went on longer than it had to, and hopefully that is the end of this, but given what happened post-match, I’m afraid that it won’t be the end.
RATING: ***1/4

Post-match, BDE gets a chair wrapped around his head, and Dutch smashes him in the head with another chair. They take off, content with their handy work.

Avery Styles is on his phone in the back. Here comes Frankie Kazarian. He tells Avery that he got him into the Call Your Shot Gauntlet Match at Bound for Glory. Frankie says you deserve it, and he says that winning the CYS Gauntlet was the reason that he became a World Champion. He then lets Avery know that HE will be in the match as well and walks off, leaving Avery to consider this.

The TNA Injury Report is brought to us by IheartRadio!

TNA Security are dead thanks to Nic and Leon

Jeff Hardy is magically cleared with no restrictions

Moose is dealing with neck issues, and they are holding him out of action tonight, however, they are hopeful to clear him for next week

BREAK IN PROGRESS!

Indi Hartwell and Harley Hudson are having a laugh in the back. Here comes Santino Marella. He just got off the phone with the board, and they are suspending Daria Rae indefinitely. And, with her not here, he is going to grant Indi her title match against Xia Brookside at Bound for Glory. Xia, wearing a cowboy hat, appears and she says you can’t do that. Daria says Indi would never get a title shot. Santino reminds her that she is suspended and he has a badge, SO IT’S GOING DOWN, CHARLIE BROWN! Everyone leaves except for Brookside, who looks concerned.

It’s time for the GOATS! Matt has the mic, DIEHARDYS that feels good here in San Antonio! People in the shadows have attacked us, they laid out Jeff, and then they got me last week. We said we would be back in an hour to call out whoever is behind this. Jeff says usually he is very patient, but he can’t wait any longer and he wants the attackers to show themselves.

No one answers, so Matt asks if you are going to cower down like a bunch of cowards. Kind of erroneous but alright. The video screen starts to glitch out and the ring goes dark. The assailants are in the ring and they lay out the Hardys again! The lights come back out and off come the masks to reveal Dexter Lumis and Joe Gacy! Sorry, we’re calling them Joseph Sawyer and Samuel Shaw, got it.

RANDOM BREAK IN PROGRESS!

Tom and Matt talk about the seriousness of what we saw before the break. Very serious tones were seriously used.

YOU CAN’T BEAT THE SYSTEM! Actually, about that…

Eddie Edwards w/Alisha vs. Elijah

Referee Frank asks for the bell to ring, but it takes like three seconds for that to happen lol. Elijah works over the arm of Eddie and hits a shoulder tackle. Eddie tries an arm drag, but Elijah counters with a headlock. Both men to their feet, and Elijah lays out Edwards with a flying clothesline. Eddie crawls towards the apron, Elijah takes the scenic route, and he smacks Eddie’s face off the apron. Elijah takes a lap around the ring and hits Eddie with a drive-by knee.

Back in the ring, and Elijah goes to walk, but Alisha is on the apron. The distraction doesn’t work, as Elijah throws a clothesline. Alisha tries to trip up Elijah, but again he fights off Eddie. Elijah head to the floor and stalks Alisha around the ring, but Eddie takes him out with a missile headbutt. Eddie returns Elijah to the ring and talks shit and has slaps for the Drifter. Elijah attempts to cut Eddie off, but Eddie goes to the eyes. Eddie looking Tiger Driver, but Elijah picks up Edwards and hits the Alabama Slam.

Elijah storms the corner, but Eddie isn’t home. Backpack Stunner attempt, but Elijah drops Eddie on his face and gets a two. Elijah to the top rope, WALK WITH ELIJAH, DDT from the top rope, but Eddie is out at two. Eddie regains control with clotheslines, but he jumps from the top right into a knee strike! The pin, but Eddie kicks out at two. Here come Bear Bronson and Brian Myers! Ricky Sosa is here, and he pulls both men off of the apron! Highwaymen’s Farewell from Elijah and he wins it!
WINNER: Elijah
TIME: 6:35
THOUGHTS: Elijah winning isn’t a surprise, but I am kind of surprised that Eddie did the JOB in less than seven minutes.
RATING: ***

Moose is in the back. He went at it with one of the absolute best in TNA last week, and he proved that he is the Face of TNA. Here comes Expressions and AJ Francis. Expressions says no one wants to hear Moose talk, they want to hear Francis talk. AJ says he is doing media for Monday Night Football, college bowl games, and at the Superbowl. He is everywhere; Moose isn’t.

Francis: I brought Dude Wipes to TNA. You know what I brought Dude Wipes here?
Moose: Because your ass stinks?

Moose says if you want to fight again, name the time and the place. Expressions yells WE ACCEPT and then hides behind Francis lol.

The Four-way dance to determine Maggie’s next challenger for the TV title is coming up next!

BREAK IN PROGRESS!

4-Way Dance to determine the number one contender to the Knockouts TV Title: Elayna Black vs. Harley Hudson vs. Jada Stone vs. Gabby Forza

Forza and Black go at it before the bell, and Forza slams her to the mat. Jada and Harley try to attack the World’s Most Dangerous Gnome, but she trucks both of them. Forza corners Harley, but Black strikes her in the back of the head with a knee strike. Tiaras from Black to Forza, and Stone is back. Stone plays keep away before hitting a basement dropkick and a standing moonsault, but Hudson breaks up the pin.

Hudson picks up Stone and hits the Fallaway Slam. Forza and Hudson work together to smash Stone and Black into each other and they hit stereo Fallaway Slams lol. Hudson tries to suplex Forza, but she has no luck. Forza picks up and presses Hudson right onto Black. Stone to the top rope, but Forza cuts her off. Forza has Stone up for a stalling suplex, but here come Black and Hudson and we get a double suplex from the top!

The Elegance Brand appear on the ramp, as Forza throws Stone into Hudson. Forza off the ropes, Stone avoids and hits the Spark Stunner! Gabby to the floor, Jada turns right into Black who hits the Blackout and she is moving on!
WINNER: Elayna Black
TIME: 5:00
THOUGHTS: Predictable winner was predictable. Five minutes for the Knockouts is criminal when that dot combat match went nearly a baker dozen’s minutes. Great for what we did see.
RATING: ***1/2

John Skyler is standing by in the back, here comes Mila Moore. She wants to know if Skyler meant what he said earlier, and he says he meant every word of it. In fact, Mila is better than working for Ali and Order-4. Our man is about to get that kiss when Mustafa pops up. He wants to what the hell is going on when he has a match next. He berates Mila again and she tells him she quits. She also tells Ali that John quits as well. Ali STILL wants to know what the hell is going on, and he tells Special Agent Zero to follow them.

BREAK IN PROGRESS!

Promo for :30 Takedown, debuting at Bound for Glory.

Zoey Serrano is on the phone in the back. Apparently, she is on the phone with Daria Rae, and she tells her to calm. This is why you brought her to TNA, and she promises that Indi Hartwell won’t even make it to the title match at BFG!

It’s time for the MAIN EVENT (/Mark Henry Tone)

TNA International Title 3-Way Dance: Mustafa Ali (C) vs. Jason Hotch vs. Trey Miguel

Four stars floor incoming!

Hotch attacks Ali during his entrance and mounts and punches him. Ali gets out of dodge as Hotch and Miguel come face-to-face. Both men trap Ali on the floor, who tries to escape through the ring, but he is caught by both men and takes some abuse. Miguel tries to roll-up Hotch, but Ali is back to break things up. Hotch assists Miguel with a DDT to Ali only to eat another one on the floor from Hotch. The challengers throw Ali back into the ring and then they keep each other from entering the ring. A hockey fight has broken out, but here comes Ali with a Tope Suicida taking Hotch and Miguel out!

Ali tells Matt to give his daughter Happy Birthday wishes and Daddy will be home soon, but Tom said it’s Jason’s daughter. This fires up Hotch, but Ali throws him into the ring steps. Back in the ring, and Ali hits a standing moonsault to Miguel for a two. Ali stomps out Miguel, but Hotch is back with chops. Hotch to the top, but Ali sweeps out the legs. Back fist, basement dropkick, and a powerbomb from Ali, but Trey saves the match. Ali misses Trey on the comeback, but Miguel hits him with a release German. Miguel catches Hotch on the apron with a DDT through the ropes for a two.

TNA chants as Miguel sets up Hotch, but Ali hits Trey with a bell clap, and a back body drop to Hotch. Miguel kips up to the top rope, but Ali cuts him off. Ali neutralizes him and hits a John WOO dropkick to Hotch. Ali heads back to the top to meet Miguel. Hand fighting commences, BUT HOTCH LEAPS TO THE TOP ROPE AND HITS A SPANISH FLY TO BOTH MEN! THIS IS AWESOME chants as all three men are down.

All three men trade strikes from their knees, back to their feet, and Hotch with an enziguri. Hotch uses the back of Ali to hit a Destroyer to Miguel! Ali spikes Hotch with a piledriver! Hotch kicks out at 2.5! Ali takes time to wish a Happy Birthday to his daughter, but Hotch goozles him. Ali uses his anger against him and sends Jason to the floor. Ali to the top, 450, no, Miguel moves and scores with the CUTTER! TREY THROUGH THE ROPES WITH A DESTROYER TO HOTCH! TREY THROUGH THE ROPES WITH A DDT TO ALI! Back in the ring, and Miguel hits Ali with a top-rope Meteora for a two.

Miguel and Ali use one another to get back to their feet, but Hotch comes rolling through and hits a double DDT! Hotch locks up Miguel with a suplex, he grabs Ali, DDT and suplex! Hotch to the top, Splash to Miguel as Ali moves out of the way! The cover, just a two. REF, YOU SUCK chants as Hotch gets to his feet favoring his neck. Hotch stares down Ali and approaches him, but Ali tosses him through the ropes. Tasha Steelz brings Ali his International Title in the ring, Hotch from the top, but he hits the Meteora to Tasha! Hotch is upset with himself, but Ali throws him into the ring post and to the floor! Miguel is back, but he misses from the top, and Ali clocks him in the face with his title belt and he retains!
WINNER: Mustafa Ali (And still!)
TIME: 13:50
THOUGHTS: Absolutely fucking fantastic match. Just when you thought you had seen ONE impressive thing, then you see a second, and a third, and a fourth, and so on. Three men of this caliber having this kind of a match should surprise absolutely nobody.
RATING: ****1/2

Post-match, Ali celebrates with his title. He heads to the floor and reluctantly picks up Tasha and carries her away. And with that, we are done!