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Hears “Obsession” by Animotion playing in the distance
Do you hear that? That sound means that we have a certain Saturday event upon us. More to the point, we will have ourselves a Saturday Night Main Event!
Tonight’s show is all about titles, title contention, and revenge, as we have an, as of this moment, four match offering from the Bell Centre in Montreal, Quebec, Canada!
…Okay, so it doesn’t hit the same way as Lance Storm saying Calgary…Alberta…CANADA! But, somehow, it works!
The WWE Women’s World Tag Team Titles will be defended tonight, as Rhea Ripley and Iyo Sky, otherwise known lovingly as RHIYO, will face the Judgement Day’s Liv Morgan and Roxanne Perez. We’ll find out who is the new #1 contender for the WWE Undisputed Title and its brand new and fully deserving Drew McIntyre. In one corner, we’ll have The Viper, Randy Orton! In another corner, we will have The Archer of Infamy, Damian Priest! In another corner, let’s talk about the future of WWE in Trick Williams (and we really need Booker T just for his entrance)! And in the fourth corner, we have the hometown kid in Sami Zayn!
Elsewhere on the card, Cody Rhodes will be looking for revenge on Jacob Fatu after he cost him his second WWE Undisputed Title reign. And in a match that I am looking forward to, we’ll see AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura perhaps for the last time in their respective careers. Granted, we shouldn’t expect New Japan level work, but I have high hopes, nonetheless.
So, how is everyone on this S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night? I’m full of false hope, perhaps false or otherwise, after the Flyers handled the Avalanche in Denver. Just as much so after the Pacers shocked the Thunder in OKC. Now, if only the Eagles were shite and the Phillies weren’t offseason losers.
But enough about me and enough about you, let’s get ready for this Main Event on Saturday Night!
Image Credit: WWE and 411mania.com. Will this be the last chapter in the rivalry of two of the best wrestlers of all-time?
Then!
NOW!
FOREVER!
TOGETHER!
Tonight, we are LIVE from the Centre Bell in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, home of the NHL’s Montreal Canadiens. The voice of the WWE, Michael Cole, and the man who brings us some BAD NEWS, Wade Barrett, will be calling the action tonight!
Stephanie McMahon is happy to be our host tonight. Unfortunately, Joe Tessitore is stuck in an airport, as the US is facing some of its worst weather in decades. But here in Montreal, it’s minus-7 degrees! She takes a page from her husband’s playbook and asks ARE WE READY.
Cut to May 11th, 1985, when SNME first became a thing. And a cut to the here and now, as we get a look at the matches we will be seeing tonight. We see wrestlers walking, texting, and meeting up in lieu of their matches tonight. I want to shutout Damian Priest for wearing a Type O Negative shirt.
Jacob Fatu is walking in the back hallway. He says even on his worst day, he still brings it. Cody Rhodes, I am going to kick your ass! From EBT to WWE!
Welp, that answers my question lol.
Jacob Fatu vs. Cody Rhodes
Fatu attacks Rhodes as soon as he enters the ring. Rhodes knocks down Little Naitch! Refs are here to check on him as Rhodes and Fatu keep fighting. Cody sends Jacob from the ring, but Rhodes attempt to fly ends up with a punch to the face. Security is here now, and as in every other company, they are utterly useless. Fatu knocks out some of them, jumps to the top, and hits a Senton onto the rest of the pile on the floor.
Fatu starts walking up the ramp, being ushered away by refs, but Rhodes is back and he brings Fatu down to the ring. Rhodes clotheslines Fatu out the other side of the ring. Rhodes takes off and hits the suicide dive, knocking Fatu up and over the announce table. Jamie Noble is here as he tries to talk Rhodes down, but Cody clotheslines Fatu into the crowd. More security and officials try to keep the men apart, but this is a losing battle. Rhodes shoves a WM barrel into Fatu to slow him down. Fatu comes back with a back body drop, causing Rhodes to go splat on the ground. Fatu stomps on Rhodes and shoves some more security away, but like the Terminator, Rhodes has risen!
Rhodes slams Fatu into the cable box as the fans chant THIS IS AWESOME. I’m guessing the people trying to keep them apart don’t agree lol. Rhodes brings Fatu up the steps, but Fatu slams Rhodes into the way. Both men are in the annex. Rhodes grabs a trash can and hits anyone that is in his way without prejudice. Fatu knocks down Cody and then proceeds to chokeslam one of the Security dorks through a merchandise table! Rhodes throws a beer in Fatu’s face and then he slams Jacob’s face on the counter as the employee’s corpse.
Back down the steps we come, as the fans chant CODY RHODES. It looks like Nick Aldis is here as he follows everyone down the steps and back to the lower bowl. Rhodes and Fatu take turns knocking out security before they go back to fighting each other. Drew McIntyre is here! He throws Fatu through a table! He hits Rhodes in the dick and he powerbombs him through another table! See, you don’t need security, officials, Noble, or Aldis, just bring out the Scottish Psycho!
Drew makes his way back to ring side and he enters the ring. Cole wants to know what he is doing, and Barrett tells him to be quiet lol.
COMMERCIALS!
Apparently, WWE2k6 will have a Monday Night Wars mode. I contend that Wrestling Bios (who is also a fellow Ryan) did it better. Hands down.
In the back, McIntyre grabs his title and walks in the hallway. Cathy Kelley stops him in the back and says what he did deserves an explanation. Drew says you want to step to him and run your mouth, that’s what will happen to you. Now, MOVE!
From an angry man to Rhea BLOODY Ripley and my future Ex-Wife Iyo!
WWE Women’s World Tag Team Titles Match: RHIYO (Rhea Ripley and Iyo Sky) (C) vs. The Judgement Day’s Liv Morgan and Roxanne Perez
NGL, I’m not the biggest Motionless in White fan, but this theme song is perfect, and it works for Ripley. Lillian Garcia has the in-ring introduction for this match, complete with the dropdown old school SNME mic! Nice!
Sky hits a dropkick to Morgan as the bell rings. Sky tries a scoop slam, but Morgan escapes and rips her down by her hair. She roughhouses Sky on the ground before she celebrates. Perez with the blind tag, and they try to suplex Sky. Iyo escapes, though, and throws Roxanne’s foot into Morgan, knocking her out. Sky tries to drag Perez back into the ring, but Rozanne holds on to the ring skirt. Morgan on the apron, and she bops Sky on the back of the head, allowing Perez to take Sky to the mat. She screams and flails wild hands.
Morgan with the tag, and they hit a combination Russian Leg Sweep-Lung blower, but Sky kicks out at two. Morgan with the Three Amigos, an homage to her boy’s REAL father. Morgan follows that up with a running knee strike. Morgan with the pin but Sky kicks out at two. Perez gets the tag; she taunts Sky and slams her face first into the mat. Perez allows Sky to crawl towards Ripley before she stomps on her ankle.
Sky kicks Perez away and tries to tag in Ripley, but Perez grabs her legs and cuts that off. Sky pops up and hits a double stomp to Perez! Morgan gets the tag, and she JUST missed Sky getting to Ripley. Rhea smiles at her as Morgan tries to beg off. Ripley proceeds to hammer Morgan with some brutality. She gets a two on the pin, and Barrett complains about the ref lol.
Ripley picks up Morgan into the Razor’s Edge, but she escapes and Perez tags in. Ripley smacks Morgan from the ring, but Perez attacks Ripley from behind. She wails away on Ripley and screams like a banshee. Morgan tags back in, and Ripley tries to powerbomb Perez from the top rope. Perez reverses it with an Avalanche Rana, as Morgan is waiting with a missile dropkick. Perez takes off and wipes out Sky on the floor, but Morgan only gets a two.
Morgan tries to follow up, but Ripley boots her right in the face. Sky tags in, Ripley with the Razor’s Edge, Sky with a missile dropkick! The cover, but Perez ducks Ripley to make the save. Perez takes Ripley around the world and hits a flying head scissor, but she leaves herself open to a missile dropkick from Iyo! Sky has Morgan down in the corner, but her double knees hit the corner. Morgan with a crucifix bomb for a two.
Morgan with some punches to Sky before she throws her into her team’s corner. Perez tags in, but Morgan jumps into a SHOTEI from Iyo! Perez tries Pop Rocks, but Sky cartwheels out of it and hits a basement dropkick! Sky to the top, Over the Moonsault meets the knees of Perez! Pop Rocks from Perez for real this time! The cover, but Ripley just BARELY makes the save.
Ripley and Perez in the middle of the ring. Rhea catches the leg of Perez and hits a headbutt. Riptide from Rhea! Over the Moonsault from Sky! The cover, but Raquel Rodriguez is here! She drops Ripley onto Jason Ayers! Sky tries to take out Rodriguez out, but Raquel catches her and she slams her onto the floor. Stephanie Vaquer is here, and she wants payback on Raquel! Vaquer takes Raquel over the barricade, and she dives over it and wipes her out on the floor!
In the ring, Perez covers Sky, but she only gets a two. Morgan screams for the pin, which she gets, but she doesn’t realize that Ripley got the blind tag! Morgan hits Oblivion on Sky, but Ripley with a running knee strike to Morgan! A Riptide and a high stack from Rhea and the champs retain!
WINNERS: Rhea Ripley and Iyo Sky (Still Champions)
TIME: 13:15
THOUGHTS: Not surprised that this match was great. They even incorporated Rodriguez as a means to bring Vaquer back to even the odds. Anytime Iyo Sky wins, I am happy!
RATING: ****
Cole mentions that we might have only seven more days until AJ Styles is forced to retire from WWE. But first, a video package, highlighting both Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura and their interactions within the confines of WWE. Styles and Nakamura will bash it up next!
COMMERCIALS!
YEP! YEP! YEP! YEP! NOPE, THEY DON’T WANT NONE! THEY DON’T WANT NONE!
AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
Cole brings up that the last time Styles wore a mask to the ring, it was in January of 2016 in New Japan, in a match with Nakamura! The more you know! Shooting star rainbow flies by
Both men circle each other as Cole runs down more history between both men. Early lock-up but NO. Okay, one for real this time. Headlock by Shin, Styles shoves him off, but Nakamura hooks the ropes. Nakamura with a headlock take down. Styles back to his feet with a standing switch, but Nakamura goes around and grabs another headlock. Styles sends of Shin, but Nakamura kicks Styles as he tries to leapfrog him. Styles looks a bit stunned there.
Nakamura takes Styles to the ropes, Nakamura with the clean break, but he gyrates lol. Styles feigns the Bullet Club Two Sweet, Nakamura catches it and then yells for Styles to COME ON! That wakes Styles up, as he avoids Shin’s kicks and he sends Shin to the corner. Nakamura to the floor, but back in the ring, Shin turns the tables and situates Styles on the top rope. He hits the knee strike to the midsection, but he ONLY gets a one.
Snapmare from Shin, as he lands some well-placed knee strikes to AJ. Chin lock from Shin, Styles to his feet. Nakauura shoves Styles into the corner, he puts his foot into his face, and he has some good vibrations! Styles rolls underneath Shin’s next kick, Styles with a strike to the jaw, and Styles with clotheslines and a forearm strike. Corner clothesline and a DVD onto the knee for a two from Styles.
AJ picks up Shin, he’s thinking Styles Clash, but Nakamura escapes and hits the rolling Super Delfin kick. A standing kick floors Styles. More kicks from Shin follow. Styles catches his leg, but Shin switches to an enziguri. Shin puts Styles in the ropes and hits the sliding German. Nakamura back to the ring and he heads to the top. He hits a knee strike for another two. Kinshasha is avoided by Styles, who hits a Dragon Screw.
Styles rolls Nakamura through and he applies the Calf Crusher. Shin rolls to the ropes to break the hold. Styles approaches, but Shin kicks him in the head. He gets caught in the ropes with another Dragon Screw from AJ, though. Styles with another Dragon Screw and he goes back to the Calf Crusher. Nakamura fights, but AJ keeps pulling back to apply more pressure. Nakamura nearly makes it to the bottom rope, but Styles rolls him over. Shin slips into a cross-arm breaker! Styles tries to fight it off, but Shin turns it into a triangle.
Styles picks up Shin and looks for the Styles Clash, but Shin fights out. He runs into a knee strike to the face from AJ, which Cole refers to as a “Kinshasha like move”. Both men to their feet now, it’s a battle breaking out, ending with a Pele Kick from Styles, but Shin hits the Kinshasha to the back of AJ’s head. THIS IS AWESOME chants, and you aren’t kidding. Shin looking for the real deal, but Shin’s leg gives out! Styles hits his own Kinshasha! The cover, two count.
Styles to his feet first, he ducks a strike from Nakamura. Styles picks up Shin and hits a powerbomb variation from the torture rack, but it’s just a two. Shin captures Styles in the ropes and tries the German again, but his leg gives out and he lands on the floor. Styles to the apron and he hits a running knee strike. Styles returns Nakamura to the ring, he’s looking for it. Phenomenal Forearm, but Shin catches him and hits the sit-out driver for a two.
Nakamura goes behind Styles, AJ fights him off, but Shin with some kind of a sling blade. Styles fights off Shin long enough to hit an enziguri. Shin favors his, well, shin, as both men get to their feet. Styles wants Nakamura to bring it, so they both trade strikes. From forearms to kicks and back to forearms we go! Shin with a headbutt, Styles runs into a takedown and another cross-arm breaker! Styles rolls him up for a two to escape.
Another strike from Shin. Nakamura wants the Kinshasha, but Styles blocks it only to eat another knee strike. Nakamura again wants Kinshasha, but Styles moves, and Shin hits the corner. Styles goes back to the bad leg of Shin and suckers him in. Styles with the springboard into the Phenomenal Forearm! Styles with the Styles Clash and he wins it!
WINNER: AJ Styles
TIME: 21:10
THOUGHTS: Do EITHER of these guys have to retire? Can they just fight each other in this New Japan style forever? Asking for someone who looks like me.
RATING: ****1/2
Post-match, respect is shown between both men. Shin leaves the ring, as Styles celebrates. Cole and Barrett are on their feet applauding AJ, and I am distracted by some idiot with a frog head on acting like a, well, idiot lol.
Cole and Barrett run down matches for next week’s Royal Rumble from Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.
We head back to Stephanie McMahon. She runs down what has happened so far tonight and lets us know that it is now time for the main event. She says someone came home to a hero’s welcome, and we see Sami Zayn meeting fans outside in the frigid Montreal night. Stephanie that match starts right now, but it appears that is factually in accurate.
COMMERCIALS!
I hear voices in my head!
Fatal Four Way for the #1 Contenders spot for the WWE Undisputed Title: Randy Orton vs. Trick Williams vs. Damian Priest vs. Sami Zayn
Everyone got a good reaction, but would you believe me if I told you that Zayn got the biggest reaction of them all? Wild, I know!
The bell rings, as everyone looks at each other. Cole mentions that Kevin Owens spoke about Sami and their complicated situation, but he is pulling for Sami tonight. Trick leaves the ring and says they do this on his time! Orton tries to sneak in an RKO on Priest, but Zayn sends him out of the ring. Orton and Zayn circle one another, but Williams drags Zayn out to the floor. Here comes Orton with some uppercuts for Williams. Here comes a flying Priest, who wipes out both Trick and Randy as he returns Zayn to the ring.
Off the ropes, and Priest with a big boot for Zayn. Zayn sneaks out the back door, but Priest with a back elbow. Orton with an eye poke to Priest, and he throws him out of the ring lol. Zayn and Orton look to do it again, as Orton hits a knee to the gut and he stalks Zayn to the corner. Orton mounts and slowly delivers the punches. This allows Sami to sneak out and he returns the favor, only he punches much faster lol.
Williams is back, as he smacks Zayn from behind. He stomps on both Zayn and Orton. He tells Orton to get out of here before kicking him out of the ring. He mounts Zayn and hammers away. Trick is feeling it as he poses before flattening Zayn with a shoulder tackle. He sees Priest approaching, but he sends him from the apron. Williams also sends Orton from the apron, as he hits a running knee strike to Zayn. Cover for a two.
Williams with a hard Irish whip to Zayn as he talks some more mad smack. Zayn with some strikes, but he ends up eating a side kick from Williams. Priest is back, and he hits a flatliner to Trick. Zayn fights off Priest, to the corner, Tornado DDT! Zayn gets a two on the pin.
Zayn picks up Priest, but Orton is back. Blue Thunder Bomb attempted, but Orton shoves him off and he hits a powerslam to Priest. Orton with clotheslines galore for Zayn, and he catches Williams trying to sneak in and sends him out of the ring. Draping DDT incoming for Priest! He tries one on Williams, but Zayn sneaks in and hits Randy with the Blue Thunder Bomb for a two.
Zayn heads to the corner, Helluva Kick attempt on Orton, but Williams is back with a leg lariat for a two. Priest with a high kick combination to Williams. Priest charges Williams on the floor, but Trick catches him and hits a belly-to-belly on top of the barricade! They fight back to ring side, and Zayn flies out with a Senton to Trick! Orton heads out and tries to hit his back suplex onto the announce table, but Zayn reverses and hits him with it!
Back in the ring, Zayn with an Exploder in the corner to Priest! Sami with the Helluva Kick to Priest! The cover, but Williams pulls the ref out of the ring! They argue, Trick threatens to knock out the ref. Zayn grabs Trick by the hair, but Williams smacks him away. Orton grabs Trick and hits the back suplex on the announce table! A second time! Orton grabs Zayn and hits him with one! Orton even has one for Priest! Orton picks up Williams and drops Trick on the table! Orton returns Trick to the ring, but Williams rolls out the other side of the ring.
From behind comes Sami, looking for another Blue Thunder Bomb, but Orton rolls Sami up for a two. Randy charges Sami, but he moves, and Orton shoulders the post. Zayn to the top rope, leapfrog roll through. Orton with the RKO, but Sami blocks it! Sami wants the Helluva Kick, but he runs into an RKO! Trick is back, he throws Orton out of the ring and tries to steal the pin, but Priest with the save!
THIS IS AWESOME chants, as Priest and Williams fight on the apron. They both end up in the worst possible position, as Orton enters and hits a double draping DDT! Orton stares at Priest, but he turns toward Trick and he is coiled. RKO, but Williams shoves Orton into Priest, who hits the South of Heaven Chokeslam! Williams with a crucifix pin to Priest for a two. Zayn sneaks in and he hits a corner Exploder to Williams! Zayn with the Helluva Kick, but Trick moves. Williams to the top rope, but Zayn cuts that off. Zayn to the top rope, but Priest sneaks in with a shot to Zayn. Priest with the Razor’s Edge to Zayn, but he doesn’t follow up, instead going after Priest! That costs him, as Zayn catches Priest with the Helluva Kick, and he is moving on to draw Drew McIntyre!
WINNER: Sami Zayn (#1 Contender)
TIME: 16:55
THOUGHTS: Methodical and calculating throughout. Everyone got a chance to shine in this match, but when it came down to it, this was the Hometown Hero’s match to lose, and he did not lose it! I don’t believe Sami is winning next week, but this was a big moment for him none the less.
RATING: ***3/4
Post-match, Drew McIntyre is here to attack Sami, but Zayn sees this and avoids him. He tries the Helluva Kick, but McIntyre bails from the ring and ends back up the ramp. Alright then.
All the purple pyrotechnics go off, and with that, we are done!
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