wrestling / TV Reports
Slimmer’s WWE Fastlane 2023 Review
Image Credit: WWE, TNT Sports
Loading...Welcome to 411’s WWE Fastlane 2023 Report. We are LIVE in beautiful Indianapolis, Indiana. Tonight’s Kickoff Show panelists are Kayla Braxton, Jackie Redmond, Wade Barrett, Booker T, and Peter Rosenberg. They start by running down the entire card before heading to a video package for Iyo Sky vs. Asuka vs. Charlotte Flair. Next up is a video package for the LWO vs. Bobby Lashley & The Street Profits followed by a video package for Judgment Day vs. Cody Rhodes & Jey Uso. We head to a video package for John Cena & LA Knight vs. The Bloodline before the Kickoff Show finishes up with a video package for Seth “Freakin” Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura.
The Judgment Day (Champions) vs. Cody Rhodes & Jey Uso
Priest and Uso start the match. Uso grabs a standing side headlock, but Priest breaks free and levels him with a shoulder block. Uso goes to work on Priest in the corner before Rhodes makes the tag. Rhodes continues the assault on Priest before making the quick tag back to Uso. Priest makes the tag to Balor, and Balor quickly takes control of Uso. Uso breaks free to make the tag to Rhodes, and Rhodes regains control before making the quick tag back to Uso. Priest makes the blind tag and levels Uso with a roundhouse kick over the top rope. Priest takes the fight to Uso before making the tag to Balor. Balor whips Uso to the ropes and chops his chest before connecting with a basement dropkick for a two-count. Priest get the tag and connects with a shot to the gut. Priest lands a stiff shot to the jaw and follows up with a back elbow shot. Balor gets the tag and locks in a rear chin lock. Uso fights back to his feet but can’t get close enough to the corner to make the tag to Rhodes. Uso finally breaks free and makes the hot tag to Rhodes. Rhodes hits the Disaster Kick and then follows Balor up top. Rhodes lifts Balor and delivers a delayed vertical superplex. Balor makes the tag to Priest as Rhodes makes the tag to Uso. Uso lands a volley of punches followed by an uppercut. Uso hits an enzuigiri and heads up to for a diving crossbody and a two-count. Priest rolls to the apron and catches Uso with a roundhouse kick over the top rope. Priest catches Uso with a Flatliner and gets a two count. Priest charges at Uso, but Uso hits him with a super kick. Priest goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Uso slides out the back. Uso heads up top and hits the Uso Splash, but Balor breaks up the pin. Rhodes charges into the ring and hits Balor with the Cody Cutter. Priest goes for South of Heaven, but Uso counters into a spear. Rhea Ripley and Dominik Mysterio make their way to ringside to distract Uso, and that gives Priest enough time to make the tag to Balor. Balor connects with the Coup de Grâce to Uso, but Rhodes breaks up the pin. Uso rolls up Balor, but Balor kicks out at two, and Ripley cheap shots Uso with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Balor covers Uso, but Uso miraculously kicks out. Uso tags Rhodes, and they hit a Disaster Kick / 1D combination. Rhodes hits Cross Rhodes and gets the three count.
Match Result: Cody Rhodes defeats Finn Balor with Cross Rhodes.
Match Length: 20:47
Slimmer’s Rating: ****
LWO w/ Zelina Vega vs. Bobby Lashley & The Street Profits
Mysterio and Escobar still haven’t found a third tag team partner, so this match starts as a three-on-two handicap match. Escobar and Ford start the match. Escobar heads up top and connects with a diving crossbody. Escobar takes Ford up top and hits a hurricanrana for a two-count before Lashley breaks up the pin. Lashley gets the tag and delivers a delayed vertical suplex. Lashley continues to work over Escobar before making the tag to Dawkins. Mysterio gets the tag from Escobar and goes for 619, but Lashley makes the blind tag and throws Mysterio out of the ring. Lashley tosses Mysterio back into the ring and spears him in the corner. Ford gets the tag and stomps a mudhole in Mysterio in the corner. Ford whips Mysterio chest-first into the top turnbuckle and makes the tag to Dawkins. Ford repeatedly drives a shoulder into Mysterio’s gut in the corner and makes the tag to Lashley. Mysterio catches Lashley with a back elbow shot and then posts Lashley in the corner. Ford gets the tag and prevents Lashley from making the tag. Ford pulls Escobar off the apron and whips him into the barricade. Dawkins gets the tag and drags Mysterio to the corner. Ford gets the tag, but Mysterio has no one to tag… but here comes Carlito! Carlito cleans house and hits Ford with the Backstabber to get the three count.
Match Result: Carlito defeats Montez Ford with the Backstabber.
Match Length: 10:04
Slimmer’s Rating: ***¼
Iyo Sky (Champion) vs. Asuka vs. Charlotte Flair
Asuka tosses Sky to the outside as soon as the bell rings and then immediately hits Flair with the blue mist. Asuka covers Flair but only gets a two-count. Flair rolls to the outside to try to get the mist out of her eyes as Sky charges back into the ring. Asuka and Sky trade near falls before Flair charges back into the ring. Sky catches Flair with a double stomp to the chest before teaming up with Asuka to double-team Flair. Flair catches Sky with a shoulder to the gut between the ropes, but Sky fights back with a crossface. Asuka levels Flair with a roundhouse kick, but Sky catches Asuka with a springboard missile drop kick. Asuka takes Sky up top and hits a release German suplex from the second rope. Asuka whips Sky between the ropes and out of the ring onto Flair on the outside. Sky hits an Asai Moonsault onto Asuka, but then Flair follows up with a moonsault onto both Sky and Asuka on the outside. The action returns to the ring, and Flair takes Sky up top. Flair sets up for a Samoan Drop from the top, but Asuka slides under Flair to hit a powerbomb / Samoan Drop Tower of Doom. Asuka and Sky both lock in submissions on Flair, so Asuka releases her hold to toss Sky out of the ring. Flair spears Asuka but only gets a two-count. Asuka heads up top and (kind of) connects with a diving Code Breaker for a two-count of her own. Flair locks in the Figure Eight, but Bayley distracts the referee so that he doesn’t see Asuka tap. Sky heads up top and hits a moonsault onto Flair while she still has the Figure Eight applied, and that’s enough for the three count.
Match Result: Iyo Sky defeats Charlotte Flair with a moonsault.
Match Length: 17:20
Slimmer’s Rating: ***¾
Pat McAfee makes his way down to the ring and says there was no way he was going to miss this show in this glorious city. He says that we’ve all seen crowds with no energy and no juice, but that’s not Indianapolis. He thinks Indianapolis, Indiana deserves a WrestleMania, and the crowd vehemently agrees. He introduces John Cena and then joins Michael Cole and Corey Graves for commentary.
Cena and Uso start the match. Uso catches Cena in a side headlock and then makes the tag to Sikoa. Cena hits the ropes and charges at Sikoa, but Sikoa levels Cena with an uppercut. Uso gets the tag and plays Wishbone with Cena’s legs. Uso chokes Cena across the middle rope and then distracts the referee while Sikoa cheapshots Cena. Sikoa gets the tag and drops Cena with a headbutt. Sikoa ties up Cena in the tree of woe and connects with a running headbutt. Uso gets the tag, but Cena sidesteps him in the corner. Cena goes for the tag, but Uso cuts him off. Uso locks in a side headlock and makes the tag to Sikoa. Sikoa squishes Cena in the corner and levels him with a spinning heel kick. Uso gets the tag but eats an Attitude Adjustment from Cena. Cena crawls toward the corner to try to make the tag, but Sikoa gets the tag from Uso and cuts off Cena from the corner. Sikoa drags Cena to the corner, heads up to the second rope, and drops toward Cena, but Cena gets his knees up. Sikoa tags Uso as Cena FINALLY makes the hot tag to Knight. Knight traps Uso in the corner and stomps a mudhole in him. Sikoa runs in, but Knight catches him with a DDT. Uso uses Sikoa’s distraction to catch Knight with a super kick for a two-count. Uso heads up top and goes for the Uso Splash, but Knight rolls out of the way. Knight hits the YEAH elbow before Cena and Sikoa both charge into the ring. Cena gets dropped, so Knight takes on Uso and Sikoa. Knight gets dumped to the outside, so Cena goes for an Attitude Adjustment to Sikoa, but Uso catches Cena with a super kick instead. Uso heads up top, but Knight charges back into the ring and leaps to the top rope to hit the superplex. Cena follows up with the Five Knuckle Shuffle, and Knight finishes Uso with the BFT for the three count.
Match Result: LA Knight defeats Jimmy Uso with the BFT.
Match Length: 17:26
Slimmer’s Rating: ***½
Seth “Freakin” Rollins (Champion) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
Nakamura slides to the outside as soon as the bell rings. Rollins fakes a suicide dive and then heads to the outside to retrieve a kendo stick from under the ring. Rollins heads for Nakamura, but Nakamura slams Rollins back-first into the ring apron. Rollins pulls back the ringside mats to reveal the concrete floor. Rollins goes for a powerbomb on the concrete floor, but Nakamura escapes. Rollins goes for a Stomp on the ring steps, but Nakamura slides out of the way. Rollins pulls several chairs and tables out from under the ring. Nakamura drops a knee onto Rollins’ injured back on the apron and then grabs a pair of nunchucks. Nakamura goes after Rollins’ legs and back with the nunchucks and then uses the nunchucks to choke Rollins. Nakamura locks in a sleeper hold, but Rollins breaks free and goes to work with a volley of kendo stick shots. Rollins slams a garbage can into Nakamura and follows up with a splash. Nakamura beats the referee’s count and then props up a table in the corner. Rollins sidesteps Nakamura and sends him into the table, but it doesn’t fully break. Rollins follows up with a stomp that puts Nakamura fully through the table. Rollins retrieves a ladder from under the ring and sets it up next to the announce table. Rollins sets Nakama on the announce table and climbs the ladder, but Nakamura rolls off the announce table. Rollins climbs down from the latter and chases Nakamura into the crowd. Rollins chases Nakamura up the stairs, but Nakamura low blows Rollins and shoves him off the stairs to the concrete floor below. Nakamura drags Rollins back to the ringside area. Rollins goes for a Pedigree on the exposed concrete floor, but Nakamura counters into a back body drop. The action spills back out of the ring, and Rollins and Nakamura brawl at ringside. Nakamura positions Rollins on a table, heads up top, and drives Rollins through the table with a diving double knee shot. Rollins beats the referee’s count back to his feet, but Nakamura immediately delivers a volley of chair shots. Rollins slams Nakamura’s face into the ring post and then places Nakamura on the announce table. Rollins climbs the ladder next to the announce table, but Nakamura climbs the other side of the ladder, hits Rollins with the red mist, and shoves Rollins off the ladder and through the announce table. Nakamura drags Rollins back into the ring and hits a backbreaker onto a steel chair. Nakamura follows up with a Kinshasa that sends Rollins through a table in the corner. Rollins rolls out of the ring and lands on his feet to break the referee’s count. Nakamura drags Rollins back into the crowd and sets him on a raised platform. Nakamura climbs onto the platform with Rollins, but Rollins catches Nakamura with a Pedigree and a Stomp. Nakamura beats the referee’s count back to his feet, so Rollins hits a Falcon Arrow from the raised platform and through two tables. The referee begins his count on both Rollins and Nakamura, but only Rollins gets back to his feet before the count of ten, and that’s enough for the win.
Match Result: Seth Rollins defeats Shinsuke Nakamura with a Falcon Arrow through two tables.
Match Length: 28:33
Slimmer’s Rating: ****¼
