The Shimmy 7.28.08: The Chris Benoit Report Card (Part Six)

Welcome to the final installment of the Chris Benoit Report Card. I thank those of you that have stuck with the column over the past six weeks. With that out of the way, let’s get on with Part Six.

2006 Royal Rumble Match (Royal Rumble 2006)

Can’t say I remember too much about Benoit’s involvement in the 2006 Royal Rumble, other than the fact he was one of the three “in memory of Eddie” participants. And he eliminated Booker T in near record time. Other than that I got nothing for him. The Rumble itself wasn’t even all that great so that doesn’t even balance things out.

My Grade: C+

United States Title Match: Booker T© vs. Chris Benoit (No Way Out 2006)

WWE tried hard to get these guys to recapture the magic of their WCW rivalry but it just never happened. They were older, they were tamer, they didn’t click in the early going and then Booker got hurt. This was the blowoff and despite their problems this was a damn good match, by far the best match they had in this series. I’d have to say Benoit winning was a bit surprising considering Booker just won the title in the Best of Seven Series, but perhaps even more surprising was that WWE treated it like such a big moment considering it was the United States Title.

My Grade: A

United States Title Match: Chris Benoit© vs. JBL (WrestleMania 22)

For two WrestleManias in a row I expected JBL’s match to be the sleeper match of the show, and for two WrestleManias in a row I was sorely disappointed. While his match with Benoit did not suck out loud like his match with Cena did a year earlier, but it was also far from an impressive showdown. Benoit was a short lived champion but JBL really was tailor made for the United States Title. They would go on to have a very good Steel Cage Match on SmackDown which would be a contributing factor in JBL’s temporary retirement.

My Grade: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Finlay (Judgment Day 2006)

Now this is more like it. While I do think this match greatly overshadowed a better MNM vs. London & Kendrick match on the same show, this was still a fantastic technical match. Finlay was probably one of the top five wrestlers in the ring during the early part of his return in 2006 and that led to a tremendous bout between two hard knocks superstars. Benoit got the duke here but would soon leave for a brief sabbatical (credited to an injury at the hands of Mark Henry), a type of rest that Benoit (and perhaps other wrestlers as well) could have potentially used more of.

My Grade: A

Chris Benoit vs. William Regal (No Mercy 2006)

Well Benoit was certainly a better mystery opponent for Regal than Vito, who all signs pointed to. Then again I suppose that wouldn’t have been much of a mystery now would it? They had a pretty good match although not quite up to their usual standards, but they already had the crowd in hand with the big surprise return so they didn’t need to go too crazy. This was a good way to reintroduce Benoit and Regal was in the midst (really at the end) of one of his stop-start pushes so he had some legitimacy to him in the eyes of the fans. Next step: United States Title.

My Grade: B

United States Title Match: Chris Benoit© vs. Chavo Guerrero (Survivor Series 2006)

And the Eddie Guerrero exploitation continues. There was some sort of story involving Eddie’s estate that I didn’t quite get that got stopped before it really got going. The matches between these two were solid but unspectacular, a stark contrast to their SmackDown Six days four years prior. These matches did help to get Vickie Guerrero over as a heel manager, something she has found great success in in recent times.

My Grade: C+

United States Title Match: Chris Benoit© vs. Chavo Guerrero (Armageddon 2006)

And the feud continued. The match was a bit more polished here, and it took place right here in Richmond, Virginia (Yeah! [thumbs up]) but that’s all I really have to say. At this point Vickie was slowly starting to turn from being a “shock” heel to generating legitimate heel heat but so long as she was between Chavo and Benoit of all people she was going to still have that Eddie stigma to her.

My Grade: B-

2007 Royal Rumble Match (Royal Rumble 2007)

Benoit served a purpose in this match: he was one of the bodies in the ring for The Great Khali to toss so that he looked impressive enough for a showdown with Undertaker. The match was a great one, but Benoit’s involvement wasn’t much to write about here.

My Grade: A

Six Man Tag Team Match: Chris Benoit & The Hardys vs. MVP & MNM (No Way Out 2007)

For a match that was thrown out there at the last minute this worked out really well. This was the final confrontation between The Hardys and MNM and, to the best of my recollection, this was the first meeting between Benoit and MVP. In many ways this was the beginning of Benoit’s last feud and it was a good way to kickstart things. The action was fast and furious and all six men really looked good. I know I said this a lot last week but along with the main event this was the saving grace of this show.

My Grade: A-

United States Title Match: Chris Benoit© vs. MVP (WrestleMania 23)

And here…we…go! The last real feud of Benoit’s career was used to get MVP over, so Benoit at least did one good thing in 2007 (and before you start complaining I’m not in any way, shape or form saying that getting MVP over cancels out murdering him family). At the time I had some real problems with this match because jobbing MVP out in this match seemed kind of odd to me, and jobbing him out to the diving headbutt, a move nobody had been pinned by in seven years seemed particularly asinine. Looking past the booking of the match though and the contest itself is very good and MVP really started to show that he could be more than just a character. The best would be yet to come in my opinion.

My Grade: A

United States Title Match: Chris Benoit© vs. MVP (Backlash 2007)

Benoit and MVP had a few matches in the spring of ’07 and this was the best of the bunch. Again I question waiting to put MVP over, but at least they told a very compelling story with MVP trying to avoid the headbutt at all costs. Again MVP worked a much more technical style than he had the opportunity to work when he was feuding with Kane and I can only imagine that that will make him a much smoother transition to the main event once his time comes.

My Grade: A+

United States Title, 2/3 Falls Match: Chris Benoit© vs. MVP (Judgment Day 2007)

Ugh. Depending on your perspective you can either say that it is a shame or that it is fitting that Chris Benoit’s last PPV match was such a suckfest. This match was truly horrible, and it was even worse considering how much promise it had. It was sloppy, it was plodding, and it was anticlimactic, perhaps the three worst characteristics a match can have. The only saving grace to this thing is that MVP finally went over but that is it. My nomination for Worst Match of the Year in 2007.

My Grade: D-

PPV in Review: The Great American Bash

Let’s start our recap with the first match of the show, the WWE Tag Team Title Fatal Four-Way. You will see it kind of low on the Andy Enjoyment Index but doesn’t mean it was that bad, it just wasn’t as action packed as it could have been. I do question giving the belts to Hawkins & Ryder. If they were going to give them the belts it should have been done a few months ago at the height of the La Familia angle. With Edge and Vickei now splitting I figured Hawkins & Ryder would go the way of the Basham Brothers. I guess it’s cool that they got to win the belts in there hometown, I’m just not sure that it was a great move for the belts. I look forward to hopefully being proven wrong. Oh, and Mick, I love you man, you are one of my all time favorites but please SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THE MIZ! It was cute when JBL used to bury The Miz on commentary because he hadn’t done anything, but after a wildly successful stint as a tag team champion, a contender for the ECW Title, and a clean pinfall victory over the current World Heavyweight Champion I think we can all get over the fact that he used to be on the Real World.

The Matt Hardy-Shelton Benjamin match was by far the Match of the Night. The crowd was hot (which they were for the first few matches on the show and then they died a slow and agonizing death) and the match was great. Benjamin’s moment was really but over like a big deal and I’m pretty surprised they let him go over clean. I hope there are some more Benjamin-Hardy matches planned for the future, but this time with Jeff.

The ECW Title Match was just there. I really enjoy Mark Henry as champion (or “champia” if you are Tony Atlas) but a match with Tommy Dreamer is far from compelling television. When will they learn that big man wrestling can be fun to watch if they just cut out the damn restholds? The only redeeming quality to this match was the shocking heel turn by Colin Delaney. I don’t think anybody saw THAT one coming.

HBK and Jericho was an OK match, which for them is probably a step down. The pacing in the end seemed too drawn out to me for some reason. I’m mixed on the finish. On one hand I absolutely LOATH ref stoppages in wrestling matches but on the other hand they actually pulled it off pretty well. Hearing Jericho talk about ending Michaels’ career would sound a lot better if we didn’t hear it less than a year ago with Orton. This feud has mostly been great but I think I’m ready for the blowoff now.

The first ever Diva’s Title Match was not good. While the match wasn’t sloppy or anything it was quite boring. At least they kept it short, although that’s not really a great way to debut a championship.

Punk-Batista was pretty fun and the Kane run in didn’t surprise me too much. I just can’t picture in my head Punk beating Batista, although I was pretty impressed when Punk got him up for the GTS. Both guys have been great in their roles and Kane has been awesome in his role as well. That camera man sold that big boot like death.

I wavered back and forth between liking the NYC Parking Lot Brawl between Cena and JBL. Some of the brawling and spots were cool, others not so much. The testicles-to-a-car battery spot was stupid five years ago when Kane did it and it’s still stupid. Lighting the car that Cena was in on fire was actually a pretty cool spot until Cena completely no sold it. I must say that I did really enjoy the finishing spot. I hate that Cena lost yet again, but I guess they had to let JBL win sometime.

Triple H-Edge was solid but it wasn’t quite the huge match that it should have been. I give a lot of credit to JR and Mick Foley for putting the match over well, but it just seemed to be missing that certain something. I’m not sure I understand the finishing spot because I don’t know why Edge would be trying to spear Alicia Fox. I’m thinking maybe Triple H or the referee were supposed to be standing in the way and they weren’t. In any event it wasn’t a horrible way to end the show (still better than the Triple H-Orton Steel Cage Match from Judgment Day) but it wasn’t a blow away main event either.

Andy Enjoyment Index: The Great American Bash

1) Hardy-Benjamin
2) Michaels-Jericho
3) Punk-Batista
4) Cena-JBL
5) Fatal Four-Way
6) Triple H-Edge
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7) Henry-Dreamer
8) McCool-Natalya

The Shimmy Likes It Raw!

What’s on tap for tonight’s show?

Shane and Stephanie have been looking for a new Raw GM. We should have put them on the case all those months Vince was looking for one. Shane’o’Mac will be in the house tonight, will he announce how the new GM is? Will he be the new GM?

In the wake of last week’s chaotic finish, the World Heavyweight Title picture is a mess. JBL has declared that he will get the SummerSlam title match with CM Punk, but Batista and Punk have yet to finish a match together while both have issues with Kane, and Batista and John Cena are seemingly slated to tear into each other at long last. With the Hell in a Cell already in play for the Undertaker-Edge match I say have dueling cells and lock the five men in it to beat the hell out of each other but that’s me. Either that or say that since Punk started it all by winning a seven man Ladder Match at WrestleMania that is how he should have to defend his championship at SummerSlam.

Will there be any developments in the burgeoning Santino Marella-Beth Phoenix love story? Will they rassle again since they seem to like it that way?

Will we finally find out who is alive or dead? Or what Kane’s got in the bag? Maybe it’s Mark Henry and Mae Young’s bastard hand! That’ll be payback for Henry stealing his ECW Title. And since it is a plastic hand I suppose Kane could very easily not know if it were alive or dead. Aha, I have figured it out, case closed.

That’s it for this week’s column. I’ll be next week, same bat time, same bat channel. Until then, don’t die. Clark…out.