wrestling / Video Reviews
Universal Wrestling Federation (11.28.1987) Review
Image Credit: UWF
Loading...-Cold open: A Bunkhouse Stampede match in progress.
-Originally aired November 28, 1987.
-They actually bothered to make a new opening title sequence.
-Your hosts are Magnum TA and Missy Hyatt, with Jim Ross and Jack Gregory stationed at ringside. Michael Hayes steps in to let us know he’s stoked about the Bunkhouse Stampede.
ROAD WARRIORS vs. JERRY…SNOOT? & CRAIG WHITFORD
-Warriors charge the ring and attack. JR reveals that they’re back in Tulsa for this week’s TV taping, and they’re keeping the arena so dark that there is not one fan visible in there. Warriors hit an ugly finisher that I’ve never seen from them, where they clothesline Whitford from the front and the back simultaneously.
-SEE “DR. DEATH” AT AN ARENA NEAR YOU!. If you’re in Japan, I guess, because this guy’s dipping out of the U.S. for a while.
-The Road Warriors are going to win every Bunkhouse Stampede they enter! Hey! Wasn’t there a pay-per-view two days ago or something?
-We get a commercial for War Games IV, on Wednesday night, November 25 at the Nassau Coliseum. Three days ago.
-Also a commercial for Sega voiced by ABC promo mainstay Ernie Anderson. I bet there’s 10 minutes of outtakes of him swearing at the Sega people while he was recording this.
RON SIMMONS vs. RON ELLIS
-Jim Ross says that a number of insiders suspect that Ron Simmons is only a few victories away from getting a world title shot. I love that Bill Watts spent three years trying to push Brickhouse Brown, Master G, The Snowman, and Savannah Jack, and the moment he gets out of the wrestling business, he probably turned on the TV, saw Ron Simmons, and muttered, “Shit.”
-Simmons hits a double kneelift and a neckbreaker. Bearhug by Simmons, and a football tackle from the second rope ends this.
-Ron Simmons is ready for the Bunkhouse Stampede. Notably, he’s finally conditioned to the point that he can safely cut a promo immediately after a match.
WESTERN STATES HERITAGE TITLE: BARRY WINDHAM (Champion) vs. LARRY ZBYSKO (with Baby Doll)
-The commentators note that this is a big match for Larry because he’s never held a major title in professional wrestling before. Take that, Ole.
-Slam by Windham and Larry stalls as only Larry can. And we pause for a commercial.
-We return with JR assuring us that we missed a lot of action during the break. As we fade back in, Larry yanks Windham’s hair. Windham yanks back, and Larry goes to the floor and stalls. But that two minutes we missed was an all-timer.
-Back in, Barry armdrags Larry and has finally learned well enough to hold onto the arm on impact so Larry can’t slip away and stall again. Barry applies an armbar. We hang onto that armbar for dear life until we pause for a second commercial break.
-And for the THIRD time this hour, we get a promo for the Nassau house show from three days ago! Once is a mistake, we’re in “fireable offense” territory now.
-We’re back with Larry beating on Windham with hammering and kneedrops, but Barry won’t stay down for the count. Headlock by Larry and ANOTHER commercial break!
-And a fourth promo!
-We return with Larry applying an abdominal stretch with an iron grip on the tights. Windham hiptosses out and drives an elbow into his chin. And there’s a ridiculous moment here where Larry hits the corner, where a turnbuckle pad is missing, so he hits the exposed turnbuckle. JR declares that Larry really had that coming to him because he removed the turnbuckle pad and sent Windham into it several times throughout this match, so now he’s getting his comeuppance. So apparently, during all those commercial breaks, we completely missed this entire bit of storytelling involving Larry’s chicanery and Windham’s suffering.
-So Windham is making his big comeback, but Larry reaches out to grab something from Baby Doll, and he knocks Windham out cold to get the three-count and win the Western States Heritage Title. After the match, Tim Horner runs to the ring to tell the referee what happened. Larry denies it so Tim Horner just reaches over and crams his hand down Larry’s tights! Larry beats the shit out of him, theoretically because Horner was trying to prove that there was cheating involved, but really, it looks like Larry having the proper reaction to being sexually assaulted by Tim Horner.
STING vs. MARK CALLAWAY
-No, not him, but damn, wouldn’t that have been wild? Weird start to the match as Sting enters the ring first and yells about wanting his opponent to hurry up and get in there. The commentators also start wondering where the hell his opponent is, so it appears that the jobber legit missed his cue to come to the ring for this match and Sting was just left out there to wait for him.
-So Sting beats some punctuality into this young man, sending him out to the floor, then bringing him back in for a standing dropkick. Neckbreaker by Sting, and an axehandle. Stinger splash and a scorpion deathlock finish this one.
-We go to a Road Warriors squash. Not the one we saw earlier in the hour. They just plug in a Road Warriors squash from another TV taping because why the hell not, I guess?
-JR starts to interview Sting, but he says “hold on” because he wants to show everyone something. He pulls a kid out from the crowd, and the kid has his face painted and his hair cut like Sting, and for all I know, that’s the first time that’s ever happened, because Sting seems sincerely AMPED about a kid making himself up to look like him, and JR looks happy for him.
MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (with Jim Cornette & Big Bubba) vs. CHUCK WEST & PHIL WYLIE
-West takes a beating before tagging in Wylie. JR is oddly complimentary of Wylie as he comes in to take his ass kicking, so I get the impression that JR saw some potential there that never went to the next level. Bobby drops a big elbow. Half-crab gets the submission victory.
