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Ring Crew Reviews: TNA Lockdown 2012

May 25, 2012 | Posted by Jack Bramma
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Ring Crew Reviews: TNA Lockdown 2012  

Scheduled Card:
1. Lethal Lockdown: Team Garrett (Garrett Bischoff, AJ Styles, Austin Aries, Mr. Anderson, and Rob Van Dam) vs. Team Eric (Eric Bischoff, Gunner, Bully Ray, Christopher Daniels, and Kazarian).
2. Cage Match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Magnus & Samoa Joe (c).
3. Cage Match for the TNA Television Championship: Robbie E vs. Devon (c).
4. Cage Match for the TNA Knockouts Championship: Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim (c).
5. Cage Match: Crimson vs. Matt Morgan.
6. Cage Match: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy.
7. Cage Match for the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Rosita & Sarita vs. ODB & Eric Young (c).
8. Cage Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode (c).

• We start with James Storm getting in his pick up truck and saying that Roode made things personal by bringing his family into it and destroying a friendship. Bobby Roode, this is his town. Welcome to Nashville.

• What follows next is another suitably epic video package about the breakup of Beer Money. Storm: “10 years to build a company. 4 years to build a friendship. The bullshit stops.” Lots of training footage from both guys including Storm out in a cabin training in the rain. Awesome stuff, promo of the year quality.

• Next, Garrett Bischoff talks AJ Styles, RVD, Kennedy, and Aries into letting him start their match later. Best part of the segment is Garrett poking all of them in the chest and then Aries subtly gestures to not touch him at all. That’s right, out of Styles, Van Dam, and Mr. Anderson, Aries gets to look the coolest and most badass.

Lethal Lockdown: Team Garrett (Garrett Bischoff, AJ Styles, Austin Aries, Mr. Anderson, and Rob Van Dam) vs. Team Eric (Eric Bischoff, Gunner, Bully Ray, Christopher Daniels, and Kazarian). Whichever teams loses, their Bischoff has to leave. I’m nauseated just typing “Team Garrett” when thinking about all of the more talented and more over guys on both teams and yet it’s Garrett getting the push but I digress. So alternating entrances every 2 minutes for each team except for the first segment which is 3 minutes. We start with Garrett and Gunner. Taz: “THAT’S A WHOLE LOTTA BAD ATTITUDE IN PURPLE!” Garrett uses some quickness to avoid and hit some right hands on Gunner. Garrett slides out of a Bulldog powerslam to hit a Watts dropkick which is fitting considering both are cautionary tales of management pushing their less-than-accomplished progeny in wrestling. Gunner no sells and throws him into the corner. Garrett decides he wants a missile dropkick which Gunner ignores and clotheslines him down. Gunner with a back elbow and curb stomps Garrett down a few times. Gunner with a testicular charge in the corner and mocks Garrett. WHOAAAAAAAAAAA! Apparently that’s Gunner’s taunt.

Bully Ray is next and now it’s 2 on 1 on Garrett. Bully with a Batista kick and the crowd is into Bully. Gunner whips Garrett into a clothesline from Bully. According to Taz, “this is what veterans do” which would explain a lot. Crowd starts chanting for Aries as they want him next.

AUSTINARIES! He is indeed out and goes for Bully Ray. He pounds him down in the corner and hits the Mongolian chop. Bully wants a clothesline but collides with Gunner instead. Aries with a charge but runs into a boot all the way from HELLLLLLLLLLL’S KITCHEN! Aries comes back with a harpoon in the corner and a missile dropkick as Gunner and Garrett lay around in the corner. Oh no. I hope Garrett isn’t “selling” because he’s conserving his gastank because he’ll be the final guy left to eliminate his dad.

Kazarian and his crew cut are next to almost no reaction. That allows the heels to take over with some BLATANTCHOKERY. Gunner with a clothesline on the tackling dummy codenamed Garrett. Styles out to end it up at 3-3 and slams the cage door back into Kazarian. AJ with an enzuigiri and a Pele and he’s fired up and the crowd is feeling it. Bully ends that rally with a Ho Train. Like a true gentleman, Bully excuses himself and nudges Kazarian out of the way so Styles can hit his Bluechipper dropkick. Aries with an elbow drop on Bully and Garrett hasn’t gotten off the mat in about 8 minutes. AJ throws Gunner into the cage.

Daniels next at 11 minutes in. He goes for AJ. Now the faces take their turn getting launched into the cage. CD flips off the crowd and now Bully comes off the top with a couple of MONGO HAMMERS. Mr. Anderson is out for the faces and hits a bodyslam on Gunner and several elbow drops on CD. Surprisingly (at least to me), Anderson gets little reaction and it dies quickly. AJ and Bully slug it out but AJ with a SPINEBUSTER ON BULLY! AJ gets hit with a backdrop from Kazarian and CD as Tenay brings up the fact that all were in Fortune in a nice display of continuity that only a few people probably care about though.

Eric is next for the heels. Bully with some MANLY chops on Garrett. Gunner as well and Kazarian with an enzuigiri. I’m sure in some alternate bizarro universe getting broken in by the lockerroom classifies as “paying your dues” for Garrett. The problem with that calculation is that this is a marquee gimmick match at one of his first PPVs. Mild RVD chant is going. Taz assures us that he knows how RVD is and that ‘s backstage “all fired up” right now. Bischoff talks trash to his son and says that he’ll never be like him and run a billion dollar wrestling company out of business.

RVD is out last at 17 minutes. He hits an assortment of kicks and a monkey flip on Kazarian. RVD with Rolling Thunder on Bully. Anderson gets in the middle of the ring to call for the roof of weapons to drop down. AJ pulls down a hockey stick and waffles Bully. Kazarian with a trash can lid shot. Lots of various weapons shots follow from the face team of trash cans, kendo sticks, hockey sticks, etc. RVD pulls down a chair as Eric Bischoff hides in the corner. Aries boots down Bully in the corner and chokes him. RVD his the WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAKEST Van Daminator ever on Bully. It’s so inconsequential that Tenay and Taz just ignore it. The faces finally pull Eric Bischoff to the middle of the ring. RVD wants the 5SFS but Gunner breaks it up. Aries with the IED on Gunner but runs into a press slam INTO THE CAGE FROM BULLY! Anderson with a neckbreaker and then the Finlay Roll on Bully out of the corner. Kazarian with the pop up enzuigiri in the corner on Styles. Kazarian preps a Flux Capacitor but AJ fights him off. Kazarian tries climbing away so AJ boots him down and then hits a swinging elbow from the cage rafters. Not as cool as it sounds. RVD hits the Frog Splash on Kazarian. Bully though with a BOOT OF FEAR on AJ. Bully gets a chair just to hold it so RVD can kick it back into him. CD with the Angel’s Wings to mostly crickets unfortunately. Garrett, recovers from taking a breather for the better part of the match, counters with a DDT. Eric moves in for the kill with a kendo stick. Some in the crowd chant for Hogan as Eric continues laying into his son. THAT’LL TEACH YOU TO THINK YOU CAN WALK IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF SPOILS SYSTEM PRODUCTS LIKE GREG GAGNE AND MIKE GRAHAM! Garrett no sells and waffles him with El Kabong to win it at 26:03.

• Not a lot to say here. The gimmick is fine as a Wargames homage but like that, it only truly works when the story is driving the violence because otherwise it’s just a crowded cage match with no match ups getting time to develop. And unfortunately, the Garrett-Eric story gets the wrong kind of heat from me and just hurts the match. It’s still an entertaining spectacle that moves fast with the 2 minute segments so that nothing outstays its welcome, but it’s also quickly forgotten in the grand scheme of things. ***1/4

• After the opener, all the rest of the cage matches can now be won by pinfall, submission, or escape.

Cage Match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Magnus & Samoa Joe (c). MCMG are back after some nagging injuries and Joe/Magnus won the belts in the Wild Card tournament so hence this matchup. Magnus and Shelley to start. Magnus with a weak shove to start and then throws down the gauntlet to Shelley. Shelley awkwardly shoots for a single but Magnus kicks him away. After some more counters, Magnus follows behind Shelley and takes him down with a clothesline. Sabin tags in for some MCMG kicks. Joe tags in and kicks Sabin back into the corner. Sabin tries a shoulderblock but Joe stands stiff. Sabin tries another and Joe just smacks him away. Sabin tries a sunset flip instead and Joe overpowers that as well but Sabin comes back with a dropkick to the face. Good exchange. Shelley tags in with a PAPARAZZI HAMMER off the top. Joe no sells and tags in Magnus. The Guns trap Magnus between some double teaming. Shelley goes for a Air Shelley/Poetry in Motion as Taz botches boardwalk games and their nationality of origin. Shelley tries coming off the top but Magnus catches him and snap ab suplexes Shelley into Sabin. I don’t know what it is but the stuff with Magnus and the Guns is a bit sloppy, rough around the edges. Joe back in and he clubs Sabin down for 2 as Shelley breaks up the cover. Magnus tags in with an elbow for 2. The crowd is just dead after Lethal Lockdown. Joe in and punches a mudhole in the corner. Sabin tries punching his way free and making a tag but Magnus helps Joe with an inverted atomic drop, big boot, and a senton. Taz: “That’s the old Samoan bathtub on the back routine.” Magnus in with a choke as the crowd tries to get a rally clap going. Sabin counters with a jawbreaker but still can’t make the tag. Magnus with a spinebuster and tags in Joe. Joe with a snap suplex for 2. Sabin fights off both and then ricochets off Magnus to hit a tornado DDT on Joe. That was slick. Sabin makes the eh tag to Shelley. He kicks Magnus around and then gives him a Downward Spiral into the turnbuckle. Shelley sidesteps a charging Joe and lets him collide with Magnus in the corner. Shelley with an enzuigiri and the crowd reacts sort of. Magnus avoids Sliced Bread 2 and the champs prep a superplex. Sabin breaks it up and POWERBOMBS JOE! Shelley smashes Magnus into the cage and hits a Double Foot Stomp off the top. He covers for 1, 2, 2.7. The Guns slam Joe into the cage and hit a variation of the KRS on Magnus for 2. Joe breaks up a doubleteam with a Kokina Clutch on Sabin. Shelley ducks a clothesline and hits the Sliced Bread 2 on Magnus. Joe releases the choke to break up the pin. The champs call for a snapmare, elbow drop combo which Tenay puts over as their move and that’s a weak tag finisher. Shelley with a school boy for 1, 2, 2.9. Sabin now with a sleeper on Joe that goes on for what seems like an hour. It’d be different if they were working the hold but Sabin just sits on the top rope holding Joe in the corner and nothing happens with them. Magnus avoids Sliced Bread 2 again and hits a JuvyDriver on Shelley. Joe finally comes out with a Backpack Chinbreaker on Sabin that lands flush on Shelley on well. Now the snapmare/elbow combo finishes things at 11:19.

• Never really used the cage which I imagine will be a common theme through most matches until the main event. Guns seemed a bit off their game which ordinarily, wouldn’t be a problem for most teams, but when a big part of your shtick is how much faster and crisper you are than other teams, even losing half a step is a big deal. Plus, the crowd was dead throughout. **1/2

• Meanwhile, JB is with Robbie E and Robbie T. Unfortunately, they are not rocking the matching pink sweaters. Rob E wants to know if Borash is packing something else: “Is he good, bro? Check him down below.” Thankfully, Rob Terry declines. Rob E says that’s Devon is not only not on the list, he’s not on his level. Tonight, he’ll leave Nashville as the TWO-TIME, TWO-TIME TV champ.

Cage Match for the TNA Television Championship: Robbie E vs. Devon (c). The ref tries to tell Rob Terry to get out of the ring but Rob says he can’t hear him because of his security earpiece. Awesome. Rob tries a sneak attack but collides with Bigger Rob and Devon knocks both around. Rob E still manages to a cheap shot and some BLATANTCHOKING. Rob with an Irish whip for 2. Rob talks trash and gets the boot up in the corner. Rob with a clothesline and poses to crickets. Rob with a elbow off the second rope for 2. WHATACHINLOCK by Rob E. Seriously? He needs a breather after 60 seconds? Devon tries to elbow out but runs into another elbow from Rob for 2. Rob climbs up the middle of the ropes for reasons that elude me and of course Devon crotches him. Taz: “OWWW! RIGHT ON THE YAMBAG! HOLY FOOTBAG!” I wonder who has the worst -isms ever as an announcer – Taz? Book? Lord Alfred Hayes? I want to act like this is competitive but it’s probably Dusty in a walk. Devon tries a pity rally clap for himself and the crowd mostly ignores. Devon with a shoulderblock and a clothesline. Devon with a knee/neckbreaker combo. Devon with a Ho Train to crickets. He hits the spine on the pine and covers for 1, 2, 3(?!) to retain at 3:30. Squash city and a boring match to boot. Even the crowd was expecting a kickout as they pop just a tad for the shock of the surprise early ending. Personally though, I’m not digging the Devon singles/face push. I suspect it’s all in an effort to eventually set up a Bully/Devon clash that never seemed resolved from the break up. ½*

• Post-match, Rob T beats the beat back by powerslamming Devon.

• JB still pimps the asinine Twitter war between Team Storm and Team Roode. He also wants to know how Morgan feels about his match tonight against Crimson. Morgan says when he started in the business a decade ago, he had two thoughts: making money and winning championships. Hmm, well since he’s in TNA and his career highlight is arguably jobbing to Angle at Bound for Glory a few years ago, I’d have to say that hasn’t worked out for him according to plan. But for the first time in his career, he has a new motivation – revenge. TONIGHT, THAT AIN’T NO CAGE TO HIM, SON, IT’S A PRISON CELL! HISTORY BECKONS THE BLUEPRINT!

Cage Match for the TNA Knockouts Championship: Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim (c). Taz says he’s “pulling real hard for Velvet.” At this point, I’d prefer a Dusty-ism. Gail waffles her from behind but Velvet blocks a suplex and gets a series of roll ups for 2 counts. Gail with a kick to counter and some choking in the ropes. Gail misses a Euro uppercut by a few inches as the crowd reacts by sitting on their hands some more. I can’t blame them as TNA opened the show with some starpower and a half hour weapons extravaganza and then followed it up with 3 midcard nothing feuds. Gail continues her quest to undo all the good work protecting the business by Dr. D Schultz (accomplished by smacking around John Stossel) by ghosting Velvet on a knee to the back. Gail poses and the crowd lets out a sigh of annoyance. Velvet comes back with some boots and chops and a couple of jawbreakers that Gail no sells. Gail throws her into the turnbuckle and then tries to abandon ship by climbing out. Velvet’s all “You’re stuck in this shitty match just like me” and pulls her back. Gail with a missile dropkick for 2. Gail with a backbreaker and then bridges it into a submission for lack of a better word. Crowd is comatose still. Gail switches to the half crab with her head which Velvet boots her away. Velvet then sells her LEG. They have some miscommunication and then Gail just pulls her down into a WRETCHED Dragon Sleeper. Time to take this crap home. Madison, showing her FU heat ability, tells the quiet front row to shut up. Velvet counters with a jawbreaker and then rolls around. Gail talks trash and smacks her. Gail struts her stuff and gets more catcalls than boos. Velvet avoids a charge but is too out of it to take advantage. They “slug” it out and Velvet hits a few strikes and a headscissors to win that one. Velvet with a snapmare and a basement dropkick and a bulldog. She tries to do the Warrior ropes shake but just says fuck it and then doesn’t out of lack of motivation. This is trash. Gail tries to climb out again but Velvet follows her up and hits a few knees. Velvet then with a DANGEROUS MDK BOMB! That was completely unnecessary and looked painful. You can’t save a bad match by increasing the degree of difficulty. Cover gets 1, 2, –Gail bless her heart still grabs the ropes. Crowd mildly boos. Gail tries to walk out but Velvet with an O’Connor Roll. Gail floats back and lands on top for the 1, 2, 3 to retain at 7:27. Holy God. These are two stunningly attractive women but that was a trainwreck. DUD

• But wait, here comes THE NATURE BOY, RIC FLAIR! WOOOOOOOOOOO! Taz calls him a “two-time Hall of Famer” referencing Flair getting in with the Horsemen as well at Wrestlemania this year. Flair pulls out the golden oldies of picking on the front row to allow him to reintroduce himself. Flair says his career is getting bigger and better everyday. Man, some asshole in the front row won’t shut up and because the crowd is so lethargic, you can hear him over everything.

• Flair says he’s pissed off and that brings out Hulk Hogan, the “general manager” according to Tenay. Hogan says he admits that Flair is the GOAT but still wants a word with him. Flair cuts him off and says he’s pissed because he doesn’t think Eric Bischoff should have been in that match tonight. Hogan says too bad, all is fair in love, war, celebrity sex tapes, divorce settlements, Bubba the Love Sponge’s fact check policy, and LETHAL LOCKDOWN!~! Hogan says Bischoff is gone for good and Flair is still pissed. He tries to take off his jacket but Hogan waffles him and then takes a walk. PLAY THE GENERAL MANAGER’S MUSIC AS FLAIR UNDRESSES AND THROWS HIS SHOES! This was about how it sounds.

Cage Match: Crimson vs. Matt Morgan. This was set up by these guys imploding as tag partners. Crimson is still undefeated after over a year in the company. Crimson to show he’s a heel now teases giving his t-shirt to a fan and then drops it on the floor instead. Crimson tries to escape a couple times early but Morgan pulls him back and shoulderblocks him down. Morgan with a side slam and he poses already. Crimson tries to take a walk and then decides against it and runs for Morgan. Morgan sidesteps and launches Crimson into the cage. Morgan now is going to walk out and win it at 60 seconds in but decides he wants to give Crimson more punishment despite the crowd seeming indifferent. Morgan deserves to lose now after exercising 80s babyface logic especially when no one was clamoring for it. Morgan with a high knee and wants the ChokeSlam but Crimson boots him and clips the knee. Crimson with a clothesline for 2. Crimson with some knees and then hits a basement dropkick for 2. Crimson throws him into the cage and drops a knee and then goes to the BLATANTCHOKE. Ya know, this isn’t bad wrestling and Tenay and Taz are doing their jobs putting over both guys and their toughness on commentary, but it’s just bland as shit. Crimson tries some cravat using the ropes for leverage. More generic heel stuff from Crimson. SoCal Val tries to get the crowd behind Morgan but they aren’t buying it. Other than the opener and the Flair/Hogan segment, crowd has been church mice all night. Morgan gets the boot up but runs into a spinebuster for 2. Crimson preps a big boot but Morgan comes back with a discus clothesline. Morgan with some rights and a Batista kick. Morgan throws him into the turnbuckle and hits a back suplex. Morgan with a Ho Train and Crimson is toast. Morgan AGAIN decides not to walk out to instead go for a crossbody into the cage. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint but of course ties himself up in the corner and Crimson tries to climb out. Morgan recovers in time to get crotched on the top rope. Crimson climbs out to win it at 8:00. I get what they were going for here, but Crimson’s win streak is completely useless when it’s clear a midcard staple like Morgan could beat him when he wanted to. Plus, these guys have seriously been paired together for about a year and still no one cares much. Hopefully, this is the end. *3/4

Cage Match: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy. This was set up by Angle costing Hardy the belt against Bobby Roode. Angle justified it by saying that his son is a huge Jeff Hardy fan and Angle couldn’t handle it. Kurt: “Me? Jealous of Jeff Hardy? How many world titles has he won? How many Olympic gold medals has he won? I’m not jealous, I just hate Jeff Hardy. I hate everything about him. I hate his hair. I hate his freaking socks he wears on his arms. I hate his face makeup. I just think he’s stupid.” AWESOME! I don’t care if that’s one of the pettiest heel promos I can remember – it’s just childishly over the top that it works. Hardy has a black facepaint motif like it’s Halloween and he’s in the Cobra Kai and refers to his fans as “creatures.”

• Hardy wants a rally clap but Angle no sells fan participation and forearm smashes him away. Angle with a Euro uppercut and goes to the boots in the corner. Angle has a HUGE bandage on his right leg. Hardy with a back elbow and his low blow leg drop. Angle with an eyepoke and then gouges the eye. Angle chokes in the corner and then poses. Whoaaaaa. If Angle’s leg turns him into an SVR default heel, this could suck. Hardy comes back with a clothesline in the corner and the step up dropkick to Angle. Hardy stomps a mudhole in the corner but Angle counters a whip and throws Jeff into the cage. Angle with a snap suplex for 2. They slug it out and Angle throws Jeff into the cage again. MOARCHOKING! Angle curtsies to the crowd and grinds Hardy’s face across the cage as it’s clear that his leg has taken him off his usual gameplan. Angle throws him into the cage again and Hardy blades. Angle throws him into the cage yet again. He calls for ONE MORE TIME but Hardy counters and throws Angle instead and clotheslines him down. Double KO spot at 7 minutes in. Hardy with a couple of clotheslines and a burrito. They redo the elbow/blind charge spot. Hardy with Whisper in the Wind for 2. Hardy with the anti-Newtonian rana out of the corner. He hits the Stone Cold Stunner and tries to climb out. Angle no sells and follows him up for the Angle Slam off the top. Crowd has been into this for the most part and that bump even draws a “Holy Shit” chant. Angle drapes the arm for 1, 2, 2.9. Angle tries to climb out but Hardy pulls him down. Hardy with a pseudo VaderBomb for 1, 2, 2.9. Double KO spot. Hardy up first and he tries to walk out but Angle grabs him in the AnkleLock. Jeff rolls through and applies his own version on Angle’s GOOD leg. They are giving this a hard sell as false finish. Thankfully, Angle rolls through. Hardy now correctly hits the Twist of HATE. Rather than cover, he hits the Swanton. He still doesn’t cover and instead hits a second Swanton. He covers for 1, 2, 2.999999! Well, 3 finishers didn’t put Angle away. I’d say he’s thoroughly protected enough at this point. Angle begs off and suckers Hardy into the cage. AngleSlam. Cover gets 1, 2, 2.9. Angle drops the straps. Hardy slides out of another attempt and instead gives Angle an AngleSlam of his own. Hardy heads ALL THE WAY UP TOP AND HITS THE SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPER SWANTON! Cover gets 1, 2, 3 to win it at 14:52.

• I can’t pinpoint when but sometime in the past 5 years due to nagging injuries and other issues, Angle became a finishing stretch pony. He’s got more than one trick, but all of his tricks happen in a match’s last 5 minutes. He’s got the Anklelock and the Angleslam both of which have a million counters we’ve seen at this point. He trades finishers, drops the straps, and then grapevines the leg. He’s still got a ***+ broomstick that occasionally jumps to ****+ on the right night with the right opponent. But I’m just disappointed considering that Angle’s not the wrestling machine he used to be and most of the reasons seem to be of his own doing. Before the double KO spot, this was about on par with Morgan/Crimson. But once Angle got into his wheelhouse, the match became much better. ***1/2

Cage Match for the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Rosita & Sarita vs. ODB & Eric Young (c). ODB pulls Eric out of the way so she can single-handedly take down the heels. Rosa and Sarita collide in the corner and ODB Ho Trains both of them. ODB push jerks Sarita into Rosita. EY dives in to count. You see, it’s funny, because he’s not the ref. Eric heads up top and the heels boot down ODB from behind. Rosita with some boring kicks and chokes in the corner. Crowd is promptly back to dead. Sarita in for nothing but shows her ass to EY and covers for 1. More double teaming and now the heels try to cozy up to EY. ODB She-Hulks up with bodyslams. ODB with the TKO and covers to win it by herself at 4:27. I have never understood why they even have these belts as the promotion doesn’t have enough talent to sustain it and barely has enough for a singles belt in the division. DUD

• Tenay fills us in on results of the Twitter war and apparently Team Storm won it unanimously. Unanimous? Hell, even dictators in middle eastern countries have some dissent. That could have led to some vignettes backstage with Bobby Roode bullying and trying to beat up some TNA fans to get their Twitter support, but ultimately failing as some TNA marks refuse to stain the sanctity of Twitter feuds.

• Instead, we get a Bobby Roode promo. Tonight, he’ll prove what he’s always known – that he’s better than James Storm. THIS AIN’T NO WRESTLING MATCH, IT’S A FIGHT! He hates James Storm and Storm hates him. Tonight, he proves he’s the most dominant champ in TNA history.

Cage Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode (c). Storm drives his souped up truck out and brings some beer with him. Roode takes his sweet time stalling around the cage for an Undertaker-like entrance so Storm jumps him from behind and sends him into the guardrail. Storm sets up the stairs and throws Roode into them. Storm gives Roode a faceful of Coors Light and then climbs the announce table to play to the crowd. Storm with the AMERICAN’S MOST WANTED HAMMER and throws Roode into the guardrail again. They fight over a cage shot and Storms says fuck it and whips Roode into the rail for a fourth time. Roode gets knocked loopy and tries to take a walk but Storm gets a chair. He goes for the baseball swing but Roode ducks and tosses Storm into the cage. After one cage shot, Storm blades and then Roode spits some beer in his face. Earl tries to tell them to get in the ring. Bobby: “DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU SONUVABITCH!” Roode then brings him into the ring anyway showing that apparently Earl can tell him what to do and the bell finally rings. Roode shitcans him into the cage and starts working the cut. Just to be a dick, Roode rakes the back and then chokes. Roode: “C’MON, YOU WANT ME?! FIGHT, YOU PUSSY!” Roode with a vertical suplex and a knee drop for 2. Storm gets his second wind and is all BRING IT ON, MOTHERFUCKER! They slug it out and Roode does indeed bring it on with a back elbow and another knee for 2. Taz: “I’m telling ya, this Bobby Roode is as legit as legit comes.” Roode with a boot and then hocks a loogie on himself. Roode with more right hands. Look, when the feud and backstory are there, you don’t have to try very hard for “intense” and “brutal.” You just beat the hell out of each other and talk a lot of trash, but other than that cage shot, Roode hasn’t done anything worth talking trash about. If Storm wasn’t busted open, this heat would appear much more run-of-the-mill like it is. Storm comes back with a boot in the corner but runs into a Roode clothesline for 2. Roode now grinds the cut a bit and poses. Roode is really dialing the asshole up to 11 on the trash talking to Storm which helps. “YOU’RE NOTHING TO ME!” “I NEVER WANTED YOU!” and such.

• Crowd gets a Cowboy chant going as Storm Hulks up again and throws Roode into the corner. He stomps a mudhole and hits a few clotheslines. Roode with a backdrop and the crowd gives him a mild applause. This is falling a bit flat. Roode heads up top and Storm knocks him off. Storm calls for the Eye of the Storm but Roode slides out. Storm counters back and catapults Roode into the cage. Roode blades. Storm now hits the Eye of the Storm and covers for 1, 2, 2 ½. Storm with a head of steam but runs into a Roode spinebuster for 2. Storm dodges a Spear and hits a Codebreaker/Backcracker combo for 1, 2, 2.7. Storm rakes the cut across the cage but Roode counters and backdrops him into the cage. Nice. Taz: “Backdrop-like thing… maneuver I should say.” Roode tries to crawl away but Storm pulls him in by the leg. Roode with the Crippler Crossface. Storm rolls through and gets the ropes. Roode puts Storm up top and preps a superplex. They slug it out and Roode, surprisingly wins that one by slamming Storm’s head against the cage. Roode has had it with this back and forth nonsense and decides to just climb out. AWESOME! Roode boots Storm down and gets to the top. Storm pulls him back in by the hair. Another slug it out sequence and now they dispense with pleasantries and start smashing each other into the cage. YEAH! This is how the entire match should have been. Crowd gets into the BOO/YAY stuff for these. Storm lands the definitive one and Roode eats it to the mat. WAIT! WHAT’S THIS?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Storm also exercises the idiotic face logic by NOT climbing out when he could win because Roode flipped him off. Storm flies off and hits a Codebreaker off the top. Storm tunes up the band and goes for the Superkick but Roode pulls the ref in the way and he eats it instead. Roode with the BLATANTLOWBLOW. Now, Roode can walk out but instead decides he wants some cold refreshments. I hate this 50/50 booking. Roode now blasts Storm with the beer bottle and brings in Earl and covers for 1, 2, 2.9. Roode is in disbelief. Storm hits the Last Call superkick out of nowhere. He’s too out of it to take advantage though. Roode lands near the door. Storm wants one more Last Call and he hits it but Roode gets launched through the open door and Roode lands on the ground to win via escape at 19:11 but really 25:00 if you throw in the brawling.

• I really WANTED this match to be the old school, *****, “I hate your guts and FUCK YOU” match that we hadn’t seen in a while and that the feud and the video packages and the setting seemed to promise, but it never got there. Everything started to fall into place once they advanced beyond using the “brutality” of the brawl outside the ring as the story. That didn’t work because well it just wasn’t very brutal. If the beginning portion had been just direct, hard shots into the cage, it would have gelled better. Once Storm hit the Backcracker/Codebreaker, things seemed to fall into place. I also loved the simplicity of Roode abandoning the superplex to try and climb out. A million times you see the heel do something stupid but that was actually something smart. If he hits the superplex it could help him win, but at the first sign of adversity he gives up and tries to climb out. Simple but effective. Still the 50/50 stuff down the stretch really grates my nerves lately and takes me out of the match. ***3/4

• Post-match, Storm spits on Roode, trashs the title in disgust, and flips off Earl. And that’s all for Lockdown.

***Bonus Match: TNA World Championship: James Storm vs. Kurt Angle (c).*** Impact Wrestling 10/20/2011. Angle with a boot to start and pounds down Roode in the corner. The ref wants a break and Angle mouths of with him. Angle’s all RESPECT MY AUTHORITY and shoves the ref out of the way. Storm hits the LAST CALL SUPERKICK! HE COVERS FOR 1, 2, 3 to win it at 1:01. Storm goes apeshit and Roode comes out to congratulate him and they embrace. Cool moment but not much of a match. ¼*

***Bonus Match: TNA World Championship: Bobby Roode vs. James Storm (c).*** Impact Wrestling 11/3/2011. This is face-face and is all about the spirit of competition. They trade holds and headlocks attempts to start. Both escape out with headscissors and we’re square. ECW STANDOFF! Roode with a shoulderblock but runs into a back elbow and a body slam. Roode goes for a knee drop but whiffs. Storm now goes for one and HE misses as well. They both trade trips and pin attempts. ECW STANDOFF PART DEUX! I actually preferred the sequel. They go to the test of strength and exchange arm wringers. Roode armdrags through and finally gets a bit of an advantage. We take a break and we’re back to Storm with some shoulder surges in the corner. Storm with a pair of overhand chops. They now trade chops and Roode wins that one too. NICE! I like how there’s an undercurrent and Roode winning these exchanges suggesting he really should be champ. Roode with a snapmare and goes for the neck whip but Storm ducks under and hits a high knee for 2. Storm with a series of clotheslines in the corner. He sends Roode across but he comes out with a clothesline as well. Roode poses to a mixed reaction. He heads up top but Storm cuts him off with a throat thrust. Storm now preps and hits a SUPERPLEX! Double KO spot. They both get to their knees at 9. They slug it out from their knees. Storm hits a few clotheslines and a backdrop. He’s fired up and the crowd is more with him in the match. Roode gets the boot up in the corner and hits a Blockbuster for 1, 2, 2.7. Roode backdrops Storm but he lands on the apron and hits the recliner kick. Storm with a crossbody off the top but Roode rolls through for 1, 2, 2.9. Storm ducks a clothesline and hits a Backcracker for 1, 2, 2.9! Yeah, I’m digging this more than the Lockdown match. Storm calls for the Eye of the Storm but Roode lands on his feet and hits a Spinebuster for 1, 2, 2.9. Storm with a jawbreaker and Cactus clotheslines them over the top. They barely beat the count back. Storm preps the apron DDT but Roode counters to the Crippler Crossface! TAP! TAP! TAP! Storm reaches out for the ropes and—ROODE HOOKS THE OTHER ARM! RINGS OF SATURN! I’M MARKING OUT, BRO! STORM GETS THE ROPES WITH THE FOOT! Storm tries to escape to the top rope but Roode wants a superplex. Storm gordbusts him off the top and hits an elbow drop. Cover gets 1, 2, 2.99! Storm says it’s Closing Time and wants the Last Call. He goes for the kick but Roode spins him around for the PerfectPlex. Storm counters that. Roode sends him into the corner but Storm puts the brakes on to not hit the ref. Roode comes charging in but the ref dives to the floor and hurts his knee on the landing. NOO! REF BUMPS HIMSELF! Storm with the Codebreaker and Roode eats it to the floor. BUT WAIT! Roode grabs the beer bootle and blasts his BEST FRIEND, HIS PARTNER! THAT NO GOOD BASTARD! Roode cradles and wins the belt at 13:20. Tenay: “DISGUSTING!. . . THAT’S HOW YOU TREAT A BROTHER?! BULLSHIT!” Awesome match. I wish Lockdown was that good. ****1/4

The 411: A couple of borderline great matches and a big pile of whatever in the undercard. It seems every PPV lately (outside of a few notable exceptions) coasts by on the goodwill of the in-ring talent of a couple matches and everything else is just kind of there. Out of 8 matches, you've got 2 very good, 1 good, 1 average, 1 squash, 1 below average, and 2 DUDs. So in the middle as usual.
 
Final Score:  6.0   [ Average ]  legend

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Jack Bramma

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