wrestling / Video Reviews
The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (10.30.1993
Loading...-Originally aired October 30, 1993.
-We’re in Jellico, TN.
-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Dutch Mantell. Brian Lee gets his name drawn for Beat the Champ, and Brian Lee comes running out, saying he’s SMW Heavyweight Champion, so he really doesn’t need to wrestle that match and Dutch can go ahead and draw a different name Bob says rules are rules and Brian Lee WILL challenge for the title, and Brian & Tammy seem surprisingly unhappy about that.
ARMSTRONG BROTHERS vs LARRY SANTO & JUICY JOHNNY
-Juicy starts with Steve Armstrong. Juicy tries some clotheslines, but every one of them misses, and an Armstrong bodypress gets two. Dropkick by Steve, and brother Scott comes in to help with a double arm wringer. Steve side suplexes his brother onto Johnny. Larry Santo tries to help with a double team move, but that ends badly, and the missile dropkick finishes.
BEAT THE CHAMP TV TITLE: DIRTY WHITE BOY (Champion) vs “Prime Time” BRIAN LEE (SMW Heavyweight Champion, with Tammy Fytch & Mr. Ron Wright)
-DWB sprints to the ring and lights into Lee with punches and Irish whips. He rips Lee’s vest off and strangles him with it, then sinks his teeth into Lee’s forehead. Crowd is pretty into this as Caudle reminds us that if DWB gets this win plus one more, he’ll be the first TV Champion to vacate the title twice.
-Headbutts by DWB, as Lee is just getting mercilessly OWNED in this match. Lee goes out to the floor. DWB chases him, and Lee shoves Mr. Wright’s wheelchair into DWB to take him down. He posts DWB as Mr. Wright doesn’t seem completely aware of what just happened.
-Back in the ring, Lee puts the boots to DWB, who is now lacerated. Lee focuses on the wound with right hands. Powerslam by Lee, and an elbow gets two. Right hands by Lee. He goes for a corner charge but DWB meets him with a boot to the face, and DWB has his second wind. He hammers Lee in the corner until Mark Curtis makes him back off. While the referee is distracted, Tammy passes a coal miner’s glove to Lee. He throws a right hand at DWB, but DWB ducks and chokeslams him, which ALMOST finishes, but at the count of two, Tammy maces him to make it a DQ.
-After the bell, Lee connects with the coal miner’s glove and lays into him with stomps…AND MISTER WRIGHT GETS OUT OF THE WHEELCHAIR. Holllllly shit, folks. He climbs into the ring and blindsides Lee with a right hand, but Lee’s got the glove on and Wright’s an old man, so Lee knocks him out with one punch and comes off the top rope with a shot to the knee, turning Wright’s long-standing fake injury into a real injury. Dirty White Boy comes to and sees Mr. Wright unconscious, and he bursts into tears and cradles the poor old man.
-Thanksgiving Thunder is coming to your area, and Jim Cornette promises that he’s going to teach the Bruise Brothers about the importance of knowing your place in society.
-Back from commercial, Mr. Wright is carried out of the building and taken to an ambulance, and Bob Caudle is totally disgusted. He was willing to give Brian Lee the benefit of the doubt; when somebody hits, you hit back and he may have been doing that on instinct…but jumping off the top rope onto an old man is a premeditated act.
-Darryl Van Horne issues an open challenge to any tag team in SMW to face the Egyptian Prince in a handicap match.
-We go to what I was expecting to see last week, footage of the Moondogs. It’s a USWA studio match with the Moondogs totally murdering a couple of jobbers with folding chairs and street signs. They get tossed over the commentary table and the Moondogs stay on them with a washtub and more chair shots.
-Rock & Roll Express knows what the Moondogs are capable of, but Rock & Roll is here to stay, they ain’t here to play.
TAMMY’S TIPS
-This week’s installment of Tammy’s Tips involves exercise, so you can see where this is going. Tammy wears spandex and reminds us that she hasn’t had the girls inflated yet. Margie likes fried chicken, grits, and Doritos, and Tammy taunts the redneck viewers by saying that if you exercise, “Your husband will look at you like he looks at his dog.”
-Margie is totally inept at every exercise that Tammy makes her do, and finally she collapses from exhaustion. Tammy is so irritated that she kicks Margie down the nearby sloping hill and walks off. Margie finally makes it a whole segment without almost-laughing.
-Chris Candido is at a river with the US Jr. Heavyweight Title belt. He’s dismayed that SMW continues to be disrespectful toward his completely legitimate WWA Title belt and his impressive victories over Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Jushin Liger, and JR Benson, and yet they give credence to Bobby Blaze’s crappy Jr. Title belt? Candido starts to toss the belt into the river, but Bobby Blaze attacks him from behind. Candido hastily shoves him into the river and runs for his life.
-Blaze is furious that Candido is so disrespectful toward that belt after Blaze worked so hard to become something more than a jobber and actually managed to perform well enough to capture a title. He’s going to wrestling promoters everywhere and vowing to find a way to embarrass Chris Candido.
-Doug Furnas’ brother, Mike Furnas is here to announce that he’s signed a developmental contract with SMW. He loves being in the Smoky Mountains, where he played football, and he’s looking forward to the competition. Heavenly Bodies interrupt and Mike politely says he doesn’t want to take anybody’s time, so he walks off.
-Cornette seethes about the Bruise Brothers and promises that he’ll find some way to obtain a license for the Moondogs, and mocks the Rock & Roll Express for having so much pride that they were stupid enough to agree to a match.
-After the break, the Bruise Brothers tell Cornette he’s a snake, and the Heavenly Bodies might be able to do a bunch of fancy flipping moves, but that doesn’t mean anything against guys who specialized in bar fights before they became wrestlers.
THE BULLET vs KILLER KYLE
-Bullet must remove his mask if he loses.
-Kyle attacks before the bell, elbowing Bullet down and kicking him out to the floor. UPDATE: Mr. Wright is at the hospital and doctors are tending to him, but we have no idea what specific injuries he has suffered.
-Back in the ring, Kyle side suplexes the Bullet and tries to just rip the mask of without pinning him first. Curtis tells him not to do it since that’s the point of the match. Kyle gets distracted arguing with the referee and gets rolled up for the three-count. Bullet keeps the mask.
-Bullet is ready for the Four Faces of Fear at Thanksgiving Thunder, no matter what that entails.
-Dirty White Boy says he’s done a lot of low down dirty things, but he’s never tried to maim an old man. Thanksgiving Thunder, Brian Lee goes down.
-Bob Caudle is with Brian & Tammy. They’re glad they’re rid of that old goat, but they’re going to miss his credit card. DWB, bandaged up and swinging a chair, comes running in and Tammy & Brian go running out. New York White Boy ain’t good enough for these two. The Old Fashioned Bucksnort Tennessee Dirty White Boy is coming back, and he’s coming for Brian Lee.
