The Name on The Marquee: WWF Superstars of Wrestling Challenge (02.06.88)

-PROBLEM: You’re a wrestling promoter who pre-tapes most of your TV. On January 26 and 27, you pre-tape shows that are scheduled to air on February 6th and 7th. The difficulty is that on February 5th, you know you have a LIVE network television special with a company-altering storyline involved, and a finish to match so awesome that you’re paranoid about having it leaked. To this end, you have no intention of telling anybody about the finish until the day of the show, which means you have to somehow record your February 6th & 7th broadcasts to acknowledge that something took place, but without saying what the hell happened. What do you do? What DO you do?

WWF SUPERSTARS OF WRESTLING – FEBRUARY 6, 1988

-We’re in Hershey, PA.

-Hersheypark Arena manager Ken Pfeiffer welcomes us to the show.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, and Jesse Ventura. Vince starts the show by explaining that, per a memo from President Jack Tunney, no employee of the WWF may publicly discuss an incident that occurred last night.

RICKY “The Dragon” STEAMBOAT vs. RAVISHING RICK RUDE (with Bobby Heenan)
-This had been advertised the previous week as Paul Orndorff vs. Rude, but Orndorff decided he’d rather take a few years off and open a bowling alley instead. So we’re getting a Royal Rumble re-match. Fair enough.

-Rude shoves Steamboat into the ropes and poses. Side headlock by Rude, and here come Harley Race & Hercules to support their follow family member. Meanwhile in the ring, Steamboat hits a bodypress for two. Armdrags into an armbar by Steamboat. He drops elbows to work the arm. Rude breaks free, only to get trapped in the armbar again. He clotheslines out and slams Steamboat to take control. Forearm gets two. He tries a backdrop, but Steamboat counters it with a neckbreaker. Elbows and chops by Steamboat. He rams Rude into the turnbuckles, and Rude Flair-flops.

-Steamboat throws more chops while Hercules yells at the referee. Harley Race hooks Steamboat’s leg from the outside to trip him up, and that brings out the Ultimate Warrior to equalize everything. A five-man brawl erupts for the double-DQ. The Heenan Family actually dominates, but then out comes Hacksaw Jim Duggan & the 2×4 for clear the ring.

UPDATE
-Craig DeGeorge announces that Wrestlemania IV will take place at Trump Plaza in Atlantic City. Call this 1-800 number for your tickets right now. Or just go to the casino and count cards until they agree to comp you.

-Check out the new WWF Magazine with Andre the Giant on the cover. Vince mentions that Andre “was involved in something that we can’t speak of,” but buy it anyway.

“The Rock” DON MURACO vs. DUSTY WOLF
-Lock-ups don’t go anywhere, so Dusty throws punches. Muraco fights back with a Russian legsweep and a high knee. Slam and a kneedrop by Muraco. Meanwhile, Jesse Ventura bitches about Jack Tunney’s edict and decides to talk about last night in Indianapolis when Andre the BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP, and “CENSORED” flashes on the screen to get the point across.

-Back to the ring, Muraco finishes off Wolf with a piledriver. The pop for him is pretty impressive.

-Craig DeGeorge reminds us to be at the Coliseum on Tuesday. Ravishing Rick Rude gives Koko B. Ware credit. He’s a good singer, and when the wrestlers go club-hopping after the shows, Koko is a hell of a dancer. But Rude is a better WRESTLER, and he’ll prove it this Tuesday.

-The British Bulldogs give an update on Matilda. She’s suddenly taking a turn for the worse and losing weight. Send her a card if you so desire.

OUTLAW RON BASS vs. GARY STARR
-Starr, Howard Finkel, and the referee all stay on the floor during the intros because Bass won’t stop swinging his whip. Once he puts it away, he chokes and chokes Starr, then drops an elbow. Pedigree finishes. He hangs Starr with the whip after the bell.

HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN vs. BRIAN COSTELLO
-Boot and an elbow by Duggan. Bruno & Jesse get into a surprisingly lively argument about Bass’ bullwhip & Duggan’s 2×4 until Vince finally shuts up both of them. Bad News Brown drops in to say he has bad news for everybody.

-Jesse Ventura tries to talk about Strike Force vs. Hart Foundation and gets bleeped again; meanwhile, it’s a three-point stance from Duggan to get the win. Vince himself vaguely, vaguely acknowledges the big secret finish by complaining about referee Dave Hebner’s slow count for Duggan.

-Craig DeGeorge talks to Sensational Sherri. She’s not going to let Rockin’ Robin stand in her way in New Haven this Tuesday.

DINO BRAVO’S WORLD RECORD ATTEMPT
-From the Royal Rumble, this is mercifully cut down to the actual 715-pound lift, and nothing more.

BAM-BAM BIGELOW (with Oliver Humperdink) vs. GINO CARABELLO
-After his super-hot push in 1987, this is the start of the cooling-off period for Bam-Bam. His knees began giving out very quickly and he had to start reducing his schedule and taking time off for surgeries to the point that they couldn’t really use him for anything, so now Bam-Bam is just going to drift through the company until quietly disappearing some time during the summer.

-Gino goes to the eyes, but gets Irish whipped and clotheslined. Headbutt by Bigelow and a scary botched backdrop by Bigelow that causes Gino to land full weight on his knee. Bodyslam by Bigelow, and the slingshot splash finishes immediately.

SPECIAL INTERVIEW
-Craig DeGeorge talks to Slick and the Bolsheviks. Slick resents the disrespect from the American fans. But now the fans will have an opportunity to redeem themselves by standing and showing respect for the anthem. The Hershey fans are all like, “No, that’s okay.”

-We take a look at highlights from the Jumping Bomb Angels’ big title win at the Royal Rumble.

-Bobby Heenan doesn’t feel remorse what he did to Matilda. He just laughs his ass off.

ONE MAN GANG (with Slick) vs. JERRY GRAY
-Gang attacks before the bell and attacks Gray quickly. Jesse gets a phone call from Donald Trump and demands tickets for himself and George Steinbrenner at ringside. Back in the ring, the gourdbuster finishes.

-Back at the broadcasting table, Vince announces that another memo from Jack Tunney has just arrived, and Jesse gets so angry that he storms off.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Dino Bravo & Frenchy Martin. He’s stronger than Hillbilly Jim! He’s stronger than every man in the world!

-Vince closes the show by announcing that Jack Tunney will allow public discussion of last night’s incident, effective next week.

-And now, a bright new tomorrow…

WWF WRESTLING CHALLENGE – FEBRUARY 7, 1988

-We’re in Salisbury, MD.

-Your host is Vince McMahon. Vince reiterates that President Tunney has prohibited public discussion by WWF employees with regards to “a recent tumultuous event.”

-Bobby Heenan is backstage, warning Ultimate Warrior that he’d better be ready for what’s coming.

ULTIMATE WARRIOR vs. HERCULES (with Bobby Heenan)
-Unintentionally funny moment; Vince isn’t used to flying solo on commentary, so when the camera catches Heenan yelling something, Vince asks, “What was that?” and pauses like he’s waiting for Jesse to answer.

-Hercules insists on a test of strength before the actual match, so they have a tug of war with the chain. Warrior starts to win, so Hercules takes a cheap shot at him. Warrior retaliates by yanking the chain so hard that the links break. Hercules freaks out and attacks, choking Warrior with the chain. It takes three referees and three jobbers to pull the irate Hercules away. Warrior suddenly revives as Hercules heads back to the locker room, and Warrior chases him in the aisle and gets some revenge by doing some choking with the chain himself.

SPECIAL REPORT WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE
-Atlantic City, which has played host to Anita Baker, Tony Bennett, Mike Tyson & Chuck Mangione, will now play host to Wrestlemania IV. Call now for tickets, because having a ringside seat feels so good.

-Vince gets a report that the Warrior & Hercules are still brawling in the back.

BOLSHEVIKS (with Slick) vs. JERRY GRAY & REX KING
-Bobby Heenan breathlessly arrives from the locker room, where doors are being destroyed and a herd of security guards are trying to break things up. Heenan is excited to talk about what happened in Indianapolis and Vince stops him, explaining Jack Tunney’s edict.

-Meanwhile, Boris & King trade fists and King gets the upper hand. Boris Irish whips him and King Flair-flips out to the floor. Boris brings him to the apron and pounds on his chest, then slams him back in. Beel throw by Boris. Gray tags in to try his luck and he gets a beating from Boris & Nikolai. Polish hammer by Nikolai helps Boris get the pin.

-Craig DeGeorge talks about a new article in WWF Magazine: “Can Haynes & Patera Stop Demolition?” Well, since Haynes has left the promotion, I’m thinking Hellz-to-tha-No. Demolition talks about Mr. Fuji’s extreme torture approach to training. Ax explains the reason it works: After what Fuji puts them through in training, nothing in the ring can faze them.

-Bad News Brown says that he has good news: He’s not wrestling this week. But the bad news is that next week, Bad News is back.

YOUNG STALLIONS vs. GINO CARABELLO & BRIAN COSTELLO
-Powers hiptosses Costello. Carabello tries his luck while Vince McMahon again stops Heenan from discussing the controversial event. Meanwhile, Roma atomic drops Gino and Powers goes to work on the arm. Double-teaming from the Stallions and Roma steps in to work the arm. Double-elbows get a two-count for Powers. Jobbers engage in some chicanery behind the referee’s back to take advantage of Powers, then double-team him in the corner. Uppercut and a front facelock by Gino, but Roma tags in behind his back and hits a powerslam for a sudden three-count. AGAIN, the Stallions get a fluke victory over jobbers.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Slick and the One Man Gang. 1987 wasn’t a perfect year because they didn’t capture the gold, but on the bright side, a lot of people got beat up.

-Matilda’s just not doing well. She needs 100cc of get well cards, STAT!

RAVISHING RICK RUDE (with Bobby Heenan) vs. BRADY BOONE
-Rude goes to work with punches and elbows. Boone does some evasive backflips until Rude can catch him and powerslam him. Boone’s future is sealed on commentary, with Vince actually referring to him as “the little man.”

-Rude drops him throat-first on the top rope and slams him. We take a time-out for posing before Rude decides to finish with the Rude Awakening.

SPECIAL INTERVIEW
-Craig DeGeorge talks to Hacksaw Jim Duggan. He boasts about winning the Royal Rumble, which he said was made possible because he was in the good old USA. Ah, yes, the first Royal Rumble, held in the beautiful state of Ontario. They call Ontario the Syrup State, right, Hacksaw?

-Anyway, Jim reminds us that he always has the 2×4 in case Harley Race sneaks up on him. Is that still going on?

“The Natural” BUTCH REED (with Slick) vs. DAVE STOUDIMIERE
-Stoudimiere was one of the jobbers breaking up Hercules & Warrior earlier, so he’s probably overexerted himself and likely to lose this match…moreso.

-Atomic drop by Reed and he pauses to celebrate. Heenan returns to the commentary table with big news. His announcement starts with the words “Andre the Giant…” and immediately he gets bleeped and “CENSORED” pops up on the screen again.

-Bulldog by Reed looks to finish, but he’s just getting warmed up. He sends Dave into the ropes and meets him with an elbow. He tosses him to the floor, tosses him back in, and actually steps back and lets Dave hit him a few times as a show of mercy. Reed no-sells everything, connects with a high knee, and press slams him. Flying clothesline wins it. Legendary moment for the observant fan. Slick dances on the apron, a moment that stayed in the opening montage of “Prime Time Wrestling” for years after this.

ROYAL RUMBLE REPORT
-Craig DeGeorge looks back at Dino Bravo’s weightlifting pseudo-lift and the Jumping Bomb Angels’ big win.

DEMOLITION (with Mr. Fuji) vs. OMAR ATLAS & RICK HUNTER
-Smash smashes Omar down. Ax axes Omar down. Omar gets axed and smashed. Smash smashes Rick Hunter. Ax axes Rick Hunter. Decapitator finishes. This concludes the world’s longest and least form-accurate haiku.

-Bobby Heenan gets a message and leaves the broadcast table.

-Craig DeGeorge talks to Outlaw Ron Bass. He wants to beat up on rats and yellow dogs and wants to know where they are.

See you soon…Here’s Game Show Utopia.

The 411: Interesting to watch a week when they have to put on TV when things aren't running on all cylinders. The title scene has to be ignored due to the secret finish for one match and the impending crisis for the other. That leaves them to depend on the mid-card to carry things, and by god, they pull it off by building three feuds in a single match during Steamboat/Rude and continuing to build Bulldogs/Islanders, however cheesy that thing may have been.

Final Score:  6.4   [ Average ]