The Man Movie Encyclopedia: Unleashed

Greetings, all.

Before we get to the main event, how about some Minute Man Reviews?

Justice League – Not a very good movie. Look, The Avengers is one of the greatest comic book movies ever, and one of the reasons is that they took their time. We got 5 movies, over a 4 year period before we got to The Avengers. We had Iron Man 1&2, The Incredible Hulk, Captain America: The First Avenger, and Thor. We knew all the characters, got the back stories, we knew all the parties involved. With Justice League, we got a Superman & Wonder Woman movie. That was it. We knew a little about Batman, but not much. We knew nothing of Aquaman. I had zero idea what his powers were. Same with Flash and Cyborg. We were just thrown in. Not to mention the lame-duck villain. There were a few high-points, but not much. I will say that they finally nailed Superman. He was pitch perfect in this movie.

Thor: Ragnarok – For me, a Top 5 MCU film. Absolutely perfect. One of the greatest action/comedies of all time. I have absolutely nothing bad to say.

Black Panther – A damn good movie. However, it’s being blown out of proportion. It’s not a Top 5 MCU, and certainly not the best they’ve ever had. I honestly have a problem with how advanced the tech has become in these films. They can literally do whatever they want, zero issue, its a bit obnoxious and takes the element of danger to a much lower level. That said, Killmonger was a great villain. Everything else was fun. Good stuff.

I, Tonya – A very funny movie, also quite eye opening. There’s a lot I didn’t know. It paints Tonya in a very sympathetic light. This is a great movie, and I’d suggest anyone reading this to check it out.

We open up with a British gangster and what appears to be his dog, Danny. Danny has a collar that appears to keep him calm, but once it’s taken off and he’s given the command, he whoops major ass on about 10 dudes, no problem. Afterward, they head back to their HQ, where Danny is put in his cell. All there is is a punching bag, some canned food, a teddy bear, and a children’s alphabet book. Honestly, maybe I’m just getting soft in my old age, but it’s actually quite sad, and touching, to see him look at these things with a softness, and a child-like, hell, almost, dog-like sense of curiosity. Er…I mean, fuck all this bullshit! Let’s get back to Danny beating everyone’s ass! And titties! And beer! And more titties! And more beer! What?! NO! YOU’RE CRYING!

The mob cat does collections, with Danny as his enforcer. They head to once place where the dude they’re trying to collect from decides to beat down on Bart, the British gangster, and keep him from taking off Danny’s collar. Eventually he does get to Danny, who, as always, whoops everyone. However, there’s a certain someone in attendance that sees this, and later offer’s Bart and Danny a spot in his underground fight-club. Before they get to all that, one of the places they collect from is an antique store, one that specializes in pianos.

While waiting, Danny meets a blind piano tuner whom he helps tune a piano. Danny loves this. It’s short-lived, as soon he’s brought to the fight-pit where he defeats their champion in literally a second flat by delivering about 5 shots to the throat. Afterward, Bart feels awesome, but it’s short-lived as they’re ambushed by the gangsters from earlier. Left for dead, Danny escapes to the piano store, where the tuner, Sam, helps him back to his place.
At Sam’s place, we meet his daughter. She takes a liking to Danny, and gives him an old keyboard, which Danny caries around like a safety blanket. As time goes by, Danny starts to learn about life. Such as cooking, shopping, and ice cream. Danny is enjoying his life, and even at one point let’s Sam’s daughter take his collar off. I gotta be honest, there was a small part of me that was hoping he’d go full rip-shit and hit her with the E Honda thousand-hand-slap.

One day however, while out shopping, Danny comes across one of Bart’s henchmen. He says if he doesn’t come back, he’ll murder Danny’s new family. Once back, they take Danny to the fight-pits, but he doesn’t want to hurt people anymore. He’s forced in, and simply defends from his opponent, even after weapons are added. Then 3 more fighters are added to up the ante. Danny keeps defending until he finally fights back, but only injuring. This pisses off Bart who simply shoots the guy he’s suppose to kill. Later, on a drive, Danny grabs the wheel and flips the SUV, giving him a chance to escape and return home. It’s there he tells them that Bart told him that his mom was a hooker, and was killed. However, after they do some investigation based off a picture Danny has of his mother, it turns out she was a musician, a piano player, to be exact. When she turned down Bart’s advances, he shot her, and kidnapped Danny, turning him into his dog. Naturally, Bart and the gang do some investigation of their own, and find out where Danny is living. They attempt to bring him back, only for Danny to whoop about 100lbs of ass all over the place, including an absolutely brilliant fight with another skilled fighter inside of a bathroom stall. They brawl it out within a 5x2ft space. It’s incredible and ridiculously original. After dispatching all the henchmen, Bart and Danny finally have their come to Jesus, with Danny almost killing him, saved only by Sam. In the end, Danny and Sam are there to watch Sam’s daughter at her recital.

MAN MOVIE TALLY:
1-Liners: 0
Guys Beat Up: 40
Guys Killed: 3
Swear Words: 23
Boobies: 2
Explosions: 0
Foot Chase: 2
Car Chase: 0
Broken Bones: 2
Fight/Shoot-Out At Motel?: No
Guy Get Girl? No
Guy Smoke?: No

BOX OFFICE BUSINESS:
Created on an estimated budge of $45 million, Unleashed was released on May 13th, 2005 by Rogue Pictures. It claimed the #3 spot that weekend, and at the end of it’s run brought in $50,871,113.

MAN FACTS:
The script was written exclusively for Jet Li, and Morgan Freeman was the only choice for Sam.

Being blind was the idea of Morgan Freeman.

C’MON BENNETT, LET’S PARTY!:
Unleashed is fucking fantastic. It’s a gorgeous film with much more to it than your basic martial arts/action movie. Jet Li brought a level to his acting game I didn’t know he was capable of, while heavyweights Freeman and Hopkins kill it, as usual. The moments of tenderness, with Danny finding the softer side of his humanity, are just as great as the brutal side where he’s stomping fools, breaking bones, and being a ruthless machine. It’s an absolute hell of a movie, and sadly, flies under the radar, even with guys like me. Luc Besson, the action movie God, deserves every ounce of his rep, as this is another perfect action film that he’s responsible for. An absolutely incredible movie.
****1/2 Head-Butts out of 5.

Any questions, comments, drunk-ramblings, feel free to send them my way, I always dig hearing from you, the beautiful people.

Twitter: @CaliberWinfield

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I post almost daily with workout related stuff to help you cats out, along with what’s coming down the pike via the MME, and general pop culture from the 80s and 90s that I can’t seem to let go of.

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