100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Out on a Limb

Gibsonville, NC – 3.7.2015

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Icarus
Campeones de Parejas: The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive)
Young Lions Cup Champion: Heidi Lovelace

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Dasher Hatfield, Bryce Remsburg, Leonard F. Chikarason, and Gavin Loudspeaker. It also sounds like absolute garbage. Fix this.

Sidney Bakabella guarantees that Jaka & Flex Rumblecrunch will come out on top in their tag team elimination match, while the other Devastation Corporation members will make Egyptian pancakes out of the Osirian Portal. He alludes that he has a written contract saying “somebody” will do what he says tonight. If not, they aren’t going to the pay window.

Elimination Match
The Colony (Fire Ant & Worker Ant) vs. Princess Kimberlee & Jervis Cottonbelly vs. The BDK (Jakob Hammermeier & Pinkie Sanchez) vs. The Wrecking Crew (Flex Rumblecrunch & Jaka)

Sidney Bakabella is in Rumblecrunch and Jaka’s corner. Sanchez does his best Ric Flair impression. Fire Ant and Bryce Remsburg follow suit. Sanchez locks on a side headlock, pulling on Fire Ant’s antennae to prevent him from escaping. Fire Ant trips him to escape. Fire Ant toreador’s Sanchez into a fireman’s carry. Fire Ant slingshots off the top into an armdrag. Worker Ant whips Fire Ant into Sanchez, then slams him into a senton/elbow drop combo. Hammermeier jumps in. The Colony double hip toss him into stereo dropkicks. Jaka lights up the Colony with chops and dropkicks them simultaneously. Kimberlee and Rumblecrunch tag in. She valiantly throws some shots, but then is mowed down with a running shoulder block. Cottonbelly kicks him in the buttocks. He baits Rumblecrunch to the floor. Hammermeier attacks Cottonbelly from behind and puts on a chin lock. This leads to a submission chain with all eight competitors. Cottonbelly escapes and tickles Rumblecrunch to stop his double claw. Everybody laughs at him. Rumblecrunch boots Kimberlee, leading to brawls happening in all 4 corners. The Colony, Kimberlee, and Cottonbelly lay in ten punches to the Rudos. Everybody spills to the floor, except Rumblecrunch who bodyslams Worker Ant. He, Jaka, and the BDK wear down Worker Ant, including a fork that Rumblecrunch was passed by Bakabella. He creates an opening by suplexing Jaka into a uranage and backdropping Rumblecrunch. Kimberlee tags in and rocks the BDK with forearm strikes. She spin kicks Sanchez. Rumblecrunch absorbs her strikes, but she knocks him to the floor with a bicycle kick. Hammermeier grabs her by her hair. She ducks a clothesline and suicide dives onto Sanchez. Fire Ant high crossbody’s onto Hammermeier and spikes him with a tornado DDT. Jaka throws strikes to Fire Ant’s chest and neck. Fire Ant knocks him down and hits the Yahtzee Kick. Fire Ant springboard Swanton’s out onto Sanchez and Jaka on the floor. In the ring he crossbody’s onto Rumblecrunch. Rumblecrunch catches and rolls through. He drops Fire Ant with a vertical suplex for two. Rumblecrunch goes for the fork but he and Bakabella can’t find it. Fire Ant catches him with a prawn hold, eliminating the Wrecking Crew at 19:42. Hammermeier lifts up Fire Ant. Sanchez superkicks Fire Ant into a brainbuster. Sanchez cracks Kimberlee with a haymaker. Cottonbelly angrily attacks the BDK. Sanchez holds him while Hammermeier gets his haymaker ready. He accidentally nails Sanchez! Cottonbelly schoolboys Hammermeier, eliminating the BDK at 20:57. Worker Ant knocks down Cottonbelly with a rolling clothesline. Kimberlee enzuigiri’s Worker Ant. Fire Ant tries the Beach Break. Kimberlee escapes and gets him in the Alligator Clutch for the elimination and the win at 21:55! This certainly would have been stronger if it were kept shorter, but the crowd really liked it, everybody got a chance to showcase their abilities and personalities, and it showed the Kimberlee and Cottonbelly make a capable team heading into the Challenge of the Immortals. **½

Hallowicked says he assembled a team to exemplify Nazmaldun’s wrath. He’s with Frightmare and Silver Ant (Blind Rage is their final teammate). He says there will be no rest or peace until their opponents suffer at the hands of Nazmaldun. Silver Ant doesn’t agree with their view and doesn’t even know who Nazmaldun is, but he wants to win the Challenge of the Immortals and thinks their team is capable of doing so.

Hallowicked vs. Argus

Hallowicked brings Argus to the mat in a front facelock. Argus applies pressure to a grounded hammerlock. He tries switching to his own front facelock, but Hallowicked simply re-applies the hold. Hallowicked gets on his own hammerlock. Argus uses his foot to break free and slip through Hallowicked’s legs. Hallowicked snapmares him into a crucifix pin. He then grabs a side headlock. Argus turns it into a wristlock and brings Hallowicked to the canvas. Argus steps on his elbow. He twists up Hallowicked’s wrist. Argus blocks a hip toss and tries a backslide. Hallowicked avoids it, but is rolled up in a small package. Argus drops Hallowicked into a swinging neckbreaker. He misses a knee drop. Hallowicked puts on a headscissors. Argus pops out and puts on a side headlock. Hallowicked takes him over in a hip toss. He drops an elbow. Argus throws a flurry of kicks. He counters a hip toss with an armdrag. He belly-to-belly suplexes Hallowicked before taking him over with a butterfly suplex. He misses a knee strike. Hallowicked hits Go 2 Sleepy Hollow for two. He also gets two with a step-up enzuigiri in the corner. He tries the Rydeen Bomb. Argus rolls through into a seatbelt pin. Hallowicked kicks out, but Argus lands a knee drop! Hallowicked blasts him with a yakuza kick for the pin at 8:25. I was very impressed with Argus in this match. His counter wrestling is already fantastic and he looked like a formidable opponent for the veteran. His instincts weren’t as sharp and he pandered to the audience too much, which is expected from a rookie and a good way to show that while his in ring work may be good, he’s still green in other respects. I very much appreciated the work and story from this match. **¾

Challenge of the Immortals Match
Dasher’s Dugout (Icarus & ‘Mr. Touchdown’ Mark Angelosetti) vs. The Nightmare Warriors (Frightmare & Silver Ant)

Silver Ant and Icarus start by trading holds. Silver Ant stps on Icarus’ leg to bring him to one knee while stretching out his left shoulder. Icarus trips Silver Ant. Silver Ant picks at Icarus’ ankle. He sits down on a spinning toe hold. He applies pressure to both of Icarus’ knees. He small packages Icarus is about to break out of another ankle pick. Angelosetti tags in. He brings Silver Ant down in a waistlock. Silver Ant grabs him by his left arm and goes for an abdominal stretch. Angelosetti tosses him over. Silver Ant tries a tornado clutch but Angelosetti counters with a crucifix pin. Angelosetti tries muscling him up, but Silver Ant takes him back down in a side headlock. He snapmares Angelosetti and holds onto his arm. Frightmare comes in with a missile dropkick to Angelosetti. He lands a step-up enzuigiri and senton splash for two. Angelosetti shoots him off and shoulder blocks him down. Angelosetti rolls him into a modified Stretch muffler. He then pounds on Angelosetti’s back. Silver Ant slams him into a legdrop. Icarus blind tags in when Frightmare whips him to the ropes. Icarus sends Frightmare into a big spear from Angelosetti. Icarus suplexes him into a butterfly stretch. He goes for the Blu-Ray but Frightmare counters into a crucifix driver! Icarus kicks out. After a few attempts, Frightmare turns Icarus inside out with a clothesline for two. He nails a yakuza kick. Icarus avoids a corner attack. He slingshots in from the apron and hits his own clothesline. Angelosetti shoulder blocks Silver Ant as he comes in. He drives him into the corner and drives his shoulder into him multiple times. Silver Ant hits a tiger feint kick to avoid a running shoulder tackle. They attack one another in opposite corners. Silver Ant nails Angelosetti with a pump kick. He gets two with the Michinoku Driver. Angelosetti avoids a top rope dropkick and drives him into the mat with a running spinebuster. Frightmare breaks his pin. Icarus chops and stomps up a storm on Frightmare. Dasher’s Dugout double team Frightmare in the corner before hitting the 3D. Silver Ant breaks the pin. Angelosetti and Silver Ant trade strikes. Silver Ant avoids a spinebuster. He knee strikes Angelosetti from the apron and dropkicks him in the side of the head. Frightmare stops Angelosetti from superplexing Silver Ant. They go to the floor. Icarus brings Silver Ant off the top with a Frankensteiner! He and Silver Ant trade pinning positions. Icarus catches Silver Ant with a crucifix pin at 13:47. Excellent wrestling out of both teams. Silver Ant is absolutely amazing. This was exactly what I wanted from this tournament: excellent wrestling from teams that want to win. This was a perfect way to kick off the proceedings. ***¼

Trevor Lee vs. Chuck Taylor

They begin with a wristlock exchange. Taylor puts on a hammerlock which Lee turns into a headlock. Taylor sends him off with a shoulder blocks him down. Lee trips Taylor. He flips over him, but Taylor uses the ropes to armdrag him. He grabs Lee’s leg, but Lee rolls him into a prawn hold for two. Lee sends Taylor out with a Frankensteiner. Lee tries a kick from the apron. Taylor catches his boot and drives him face first into the apron. He chokes Lee with his shin back in the ring. He whips Lee back first into the corner. Taylor slams Lee. He misses a moonsault. Lee bodyscissors him into a pin for two. Taylor overhead suplexes Lee into the corner for two. Taylor sets him up on the top turnbuckle. Lee kicks Taylor to stop his attack. He misses a top rope double stomp. Lee throws a flurry of punches. Taylor hits a sole butt kick. Lee throws some forearms. He rolls Taylor into a running chest kick for two. Taylor hits the Brodie Knee. The trade shots off of the ropes. Lee gives Taylor a chinbreaker, so Taylor double stomps the back of his head and neck for two. He calls for the Awful Waffle. Lee fights free. Taylor pummels him on the back. Lee jackknife pins him for two. He swiftly kicks Taylor in the side of the head and lands a German suplex for two. Taylor blasts Lee with a dropkick. Lee takes Sole Food. Taylor hits the ropes, but Lee catches him with a mid-air crossbody shooting star press for two! Taylor shoves Lee to the corner. Lee tries his double stomp, but Taylor counters with a powerbomb. Taylor hits the Awful Waffle for the pin at 9:44. Incredible action from bell to bell. Taylor doesn’t often get to showcase his wrestling abilities against the caliber of somebody like Trevor Lee in CHIKARA, but when he does, he makes the most of it. Lee has become a very exciting, smooth wrestler in his own right, and this match is absolutely worth checking out. ***½

Challenge of the Immortals Match
The Arcane Horde (UltraMantis Black, The Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama) & Oleg the Usurper) vs. The United Nations (Juan Francisco de Coronado & The Bloc Party (The Proletariat Boar of Moldova, Mr. Azerbaijan & Prakash Sabar))

Mantis Mongolian chops Coronado and shoulder blocks him down. A Lucha sequence sees Mantis taking Coronado to the corner with a hiponesa. He rolls him up in a Tornado Clutch for a two count. Boar and Obariyon tag in. Boar shoves Obariyon to the corner out of a lock-up. Obariyon tries some shoulder blocks, but the larger Boar ends up knocking him down. Obariyon catapults up into a sunset flip for two. He hits a flying forearm to send Boar outside. Kodama and Sabar fight for control. Kodama uses the ropes for an armdrag. He comes off the second turnbuckle with an uppercut for two. Mantis gives Sabar some Mongolian Chops before dropping him with a Japanese Ocean Cyclone suplex. Obariyon slams Sabar into an elbow drop for two. Oleg tags in to his and the fans delight, although Obariyon wanted to tag in Kodama. He shoulder blocks Sabar in the corner. He picks up momentum on the ropes before hitting a corner splash. Kodama tags himself in. The Batiri give Sabar a Manhattan drop/Busaiku knee combo for two. A distraction from Coronado allows Sabar to land a spinwheel kick on Kodama. The United Nations keep Kodama isolated and his partners at bay. They target his mid-section and leg. Kodama uses his legs to dropkick Boar and Sabar simultaneously. Obariyon takes out Azerbaijan upon tagging in. He drives his knee into the back of his skull on the second rope. Obariyon stacks up Boar and Sabar on top of him. He knee strikes Sabar. Coronado blasts Obariyon with a clothesline for two. This leads to the United Nations ganging up on Obariyon. Coronado had Obariyon in the Coronado Clutch. Obariyon rolled forward to send him outside. Boar sets up for the Gore, but Obariyon counters with a powerslam. Mantis cleans house with clotheslines. Sabar chops him in the throat. Mantis hits the Cosmic Disaster but Coronado breaks the cover. Coronado lands the Tiger Driver. Obariyon makes the save. He and Kodama murder Coronado with dropkicks in the corner. Boar holds up Kodama. Azerbaijan rakes his back and Sabar headbutts him before Boar drops him with a spinebuster. Oleg makes the save. He superkicks Boar. Sabar throws some kicks. Oleg splashes Sabar against the ropes. Sidney Bakabella comes in and reminds Oleg of his contract. Mantis chases Bakabella away. Oleg is confused. Kodama sends Boar outside and backdrops Sabar onto him. Obariyon suicide dives onto all of the Bloc Party. Kodama then Asai moonsaults onto everybody! Oleg gives Coronado a backbreaker. He calls for “Off With His Head!” on Coronado. Bakabella holds up Oleg’s contract once more. The distraction allows Coronado to German suplex Oleg for the pin at 17:42. Like the other COTI match on this card, everyone looked good and got their moments to shine. I especially think the Batiri really got to show off in this match. I think the stuff with Oleg and Bakabella is interesting, especially since Bakabella cast Oleg off of his team originally, and that the crowd was VERY much behind him. Both teams delivered a fun match. ***

Dasher Hatfield vs. Kevin Condron

Hatfield diligently looks around to make sure Condron isn’t hiding his trusty red wrench somewhere. Condron claims cheating in the opening moments. Hatfield slaps him right across the face and takes him down with a pair of armdrags. He sends Condron to the floor with a quesadora armdrag. Hatfield chases him into the crowd. Condron brings a chair into the ring but Bryce disposes of it. However, Condron jabs Hatfield with his wrench (acquired from backstage) in the throat as Bryce is distracted! He pummels Hatfield’s back before applying a chinlock. He drives his feet into Hatfield’s back, causing him to choke on the bottom rope. Condron grabs a waistlock. Hatfield escapes. Hatfield misses a corner attack and Condron strikes him with both hands in the throat. He chokes him with his boot. Hatfield throws some underhand shots to the chest. Condron strikes him in the throat again. Hatfield places Condron on the top turnbuckle and brings him down with a Jackhammer for two. He tries the Cyclone neckbreaker. Instead, Condron takes him down with a Sling Blade variation for two. Condron knee strikes Hatfield into Bryce. He heads backstage to get his wrench once again. Condron tries the old Eddie Guerrero, pretending that Hatfield hit him with the wrench. Bryce doesn’t buy it. Condron gets up and in Bryce’s face. Hatfield catches Condron with a mouse trap pin for the victory at 8:19. Condron’s shtick is going to get old fast. If he doesn’t begin producing solid matches, the fans are going to care even less (and this Carolina crowd did not seem invested much at all) about him. The character is interesting and I think it has worlds of potential, but with the type of matches he is having, it’s a thin line to walk between “effective” and “annoying.” *

Campeonatos de Parejas
The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive) (Campeones) vs. The Osirian Portal (Amasis & Ophidian)

Sidney Bakabella is in the Devastation Corporation’s corner. The Portal waste no time, attacking their much larger foes right at the bell. They dropkick the Dev Corp to the floor after avoiding being whipped into one another. When they regroup, Amasis throws a flurry of forearms and kicks to McMassive. He takes him to the corner with a headscissors. Smashmaster trips Amasis from the floor. Ophidian avoids a chokeslam from Smashmaster and locks on the Death Grip. McMassive blind tags in and frees his partner. Ophidian baits them into a high crossbody from Amasis. Amasis sends Smashmaster to the floor. Amasis knee strikes McMassive into a back cracker from Ophidian. Ophidian gives Smashmaster a lungblower and Amasis forearms him in the neck. Ophidian puts on a Cobra Clutch in the corner. Amasis drives his knees into Smashmaster’s stomach twice. On the third attempt, McMassive cuts him off with a boot. Smashmaster tries sending Ophidian into the ring post, but Ophidian sends Smashmaster into the post instead. McMassive tries a powerbomb on McMassive. Ophidian sneaks up and schoolboys McMassive, picking up the first fall at 4:39. The Devastation Corporation threaten to leave, but Bryce informs them that if they get counted out, the belts will change hands. The Portal bicycle kick the Dev Corp as they try to re-enter the ring. Amasis dives onto Smashmaster while Ophidian “dives” onto McMassive (he basically jumped to the floor and then onto McMassive). In the ring, Ophidian lands a slingshot moonsault onto Smashmaster’s back. He drives his knees into Smashmaster’s chest. McMassive catches him with a back suplex. The Portal come back and land the Slave Initiation on McMassive. An enzuigiri/superkick combo follows, as does stereo superkicks. They call for the Osirian Sacrament. Smashmaster intercepts Amasis and gives him a spinebuster. McMassive takes out Ophidian in the corner and Smashmaster hits him with a cannonball senton for two. Amasis nurses his hurt back while Ophidian is beat down by the Dev Corp. During that period, McMassive hits Ophidian with Lariat Tubman to pick up the second fall in 12:09. Smashmaster slams Amasis on the ring apron to keep him ineffective. Ophidian is able to get the Death Grip on Smashmaster. Smashmaster fights out, so Ophidian rolls him up for two. Amasis tags in and puts on a Death Grip of his own! Smashmaster backs him to the corner to escape. Amasis crossbody’s onto McMassive when McMassive enters. He spikes McMassive with a DDT. McMassive catches Amasis with a boot in the corner. He misses a double stomp. Amasis nails an enzuigiri for two. Ophidian dropkicks Smashmaster off the apron and to the floor. Amasis tope con hilo’s after him. Ophdian drives his knees into McMassive’s chest. He headstands into another knee strike. Amasis lands a 450 splash onto McMassive. McMassive kicks out! Together, the Portal musters the strength for a double back suplex on Smashmaster. Smashmaster kicks out of Ophidian’s pin attempt. The Portal try a Pyramid suplex on McMassive. Smashmaster stops the Portal and drops them simultaneously with a Death Valley Driver! Ophidian manages to kick out, frustrating Smashmaster. McMassive drops Amsis with a Boss Man Slam. Smashmaster capitalizes with a Swanton Bomb. Amasis kicks out! Amasis ducks a clothesline from McMassive. He tornado kicks both Smashmaster and McMassive. Ophidian comes off the top with double knees to Smashmaster. McMassive hits Ophidian with Lariat Tubman. Amasis saves Ophidian from the The Master Blaster, shoving Smashmaster to the floor. The Pyramid suplex takes down McMassive. Sidney Bakabella distracts Bryce Remsburg. Ophidian spits red mist in Bakabella’s eyes! The Osirian Sacrament lands. McMassive kicks out! The Portal seem unsure of what they need to do. Smashmaster yanks Ophidian’s left arm into the ropes. McMassive powerbombs Amasis. The Death Blow takes down Amasis and gives the Dev Corp the third and final fall at 25:35. There were some very sloppy moments in the beginning part of this match, but they got it together and ended the match with the crowd fully invested. They built the nearfalls well and the Portal looked really strong. I give them a lot of credit from recovering from their earlier flubs, as that is not always easy. It didn’t meet my expectations, but the last fall was really great and made the match what it was. ***¼

7.0

The final score: review Good

The 411

This was certainly the best show of 2015 so far. The Challenge of the Immortals seems promising in the sense of providing quality in ring matches (as seen on this show), the main event ended up being quite good, and Chuck Taylor vs. Trevor Lee was pure pro wrestling love. Buy that match individually for sure, but I'd say the rest of the show (minus Hatfield vs. Condron) is worth your time too. You can buy the show on DVD or Blu-Ray from Smart Mark Video. For a reduced price, you can download the show as an mp4 or watch it On Demand from CHIKARA's website. For more information on CHIKARA, check out their official website, their Facebook page, follow them on Twitter, and subscribe to their YouTube channel. You can also check out my CHIKARA review website, The CHIKARA Special, The CHIKARA Special Tumblr, and my CHIKARA promo YouTube channel of the same name. All of these websites are disseminated through the CHIKARA Special Twitter feed.