wrestling / TV Reports

411’s TNA Impact Report 06.11.09

June 11, 2009 | Posted by Alexander Miezin

I’m back! My name is Alexander Miezin. Most of your probably don’t remember me. I used to write the Smackdown! reports on here for the month of January, but left because I was busy with school. I am back and hopefully it’s for good. Let’s just right into the action!

Tonight’s iMPACT opens up with TNA World Heavyweight Champion Mick Foley and Jeff Jarrett doing their normal bickering back and forth. With the NBA Finals being on tonight, I expect not too high of a rating this week. Jarrett has on a weird looking Slammiversary shirt. At least they are creative. It’s got stars all over it. Mick Foley seems pretty intense saying that Jarrett endangered the life of Earl Hebner. Mick Foley tells Jarrett that he is going to be fined and suspended. The crowd is chanting for Jarrett to “Fire Foley”. Foley mentions a saying that Vince McMahon used to use. Foley says that either way Jarrett is going to be removed from TNA either the easy way or the hard way. Jarrett says he wants to do it the hard way and attacks Foley’s security guards. That Stacker-2 logo in the center of the ring is really strange looking consider Foley is standing over it. Foley backs his way up the entrance ramp mocking Jarrett. Jarrett hits a double clothesline on Foley’s security. Both security guards take a steel chair shot to the face from Jarrett. There’s a stare down with Foley saying he will “single handedly throw” Jarrett from the iMPACT Zone. Jarrett is sitting in the ring on the chair he used to hit TNA’s security with as the segment closes.

Lauren is backstage with TNA Tag Team Champions Team 3D. Brother Devon says that they have a problem with the British Invasion. Devon makes fun of the way they do things in the U.K. Brother Ray mentions Raven who is sitting in the corner on the floor. Classic. Brother Ray says that Beer Money Inc/ is the team of the future. Lauren runs away when the interview is done as Raven stares at her. Is TNA turning Raven into the creepy local hobo? I sure hope not. We head to our first commercial break of the evening.

TNA Video Vault is now online with EVERY DVD. It’s a decent idea. Cheap as well.

Jeremy Borash is backstage with Jeff Jarrett who is pacing back and forth. Jarrett understands why Foley is doing what he’s doing. Jarrett says he’s human and made a mistake. Jarrett challenges Foley to try and take him out tonight!

Non-Title Match: Alex Shelley w/Chris Sabin and “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal w/Consequences Creed vs. TNA and IWGP Tag Team Champions Team 3D (Brother Ray and Brother Devon)

Tenay mentions that Suicide will pretty much be by himself at Slammiversary in the King of the Mountain match. Devon and Shelley start. Non-title match here. Shelley kicks Devon a couple of times and ducks punches. He then hits a nice back kick for a two count. Tenay says that Team 3D wants to pass the torch at Slammiversary. Devon goes in control and tags in Brother Ray. They hit a legdrop combo for two. Brother Ray targets the arm of Shelley. Shelley rolls out and tags in Lethal. Lethal is decked out in his Randy Savage early 80’s attire. Pure greatness. Brother Ray begins targeting the left arm of Lethal. Lethal springs off the ropes and jumps over the top rope and snaps Brother Ray’s hand. Lethal nails a double axe handle off the top rope. He tries a backspring off the ropes but Brother Ray catches and hits him with a German Suplex. Brother Ray tags in Devon and now all four men are in the ring. Sabin and Creed grab Team 3D on the floor as Shelley and Creed attempt suicide, heh, dives, but end up connecting with Sabin and Creed! Sabin distracts the ref as Shelley low-blows Brother Ray. Don West makes his hilarious first heel comment of the night saying they’re just doing what they have to do. Lethal tags in Shelley and they double team Brother Ray. Shelley kicks Brother Ray in the chest twice, but gets caught the third time and punched. Shelley tags Lethal back in and he works on Brother Ray some more. Lethal slams Ray’s head into Shelley’s boots. Lot of fast paced action here. Devon gets tagged in and double clotheslines for Lethal and Shelley. Back bodydrop for Shelley. Running clothesline for Lethal. Sideslam on Shelley gets two. Brother Devon clotheslines Shelley for two as Lethal breaks it up. Lethal gets tossed to the floor. Creed and Sabin run in and both get backdropped. Team 3D hits the What’s Up diving headbutt. Brother Ray wants to get the table. The British Invasion runs to the ring. Doug Williams hits Devon with the briefcase in the back of the head and Shelley pins him!

Winners: Alex Shelley and Jay Lethal
Match Thoughts: **1/4. Good action throughout.

Foley is backstage with a TON of security guards and Borash. Foley mentions Cindy Margolis being attacked by Jarrett years ago. Borash wants to know if the security is what Foley means by single handedly getting rid of Jarrett. Foley marches out with his security guards and his title belt as we head to a commercial break.

Borash storms into Jarrett’s locker room informing him of the security. Foley tells Jarrett that he’s like a rat in a cage. Jarrett brings up the great Barney Miller. Foley tells Jarrett one more time to leave. Jarrett says he’s going to leave now before he does something before he does something bad and informs Foley to reevaluate his position in TNA.

Mike Tenay and Don West run-down tonight’s stacked card.

Madison Rayne vs. Tara
Non-Title: Shane Douglas vs. TNA Legends Champion AJ Styles
Nation of Violence First Blood Match: Booker T. and Scott Steiner vs. Samoa Joe
King of the Mountain Qualifying Match: Kurt Angle vs. Sting

Borash somehow FLEW into the Main Event Mafia’s locker room and is interviewing Booker T. and Scott Steiner. Booker T. has another new accent. Sounds paranoid. Steiner completely butchers another promo telling the Samoan War Pig Samoa Joe to bring his friends to the Nation of Violence First Blood match later on tonight. We head to a commercial break.

Another TNA Video Vault plug. At least they’re hyping this up more than WWE does their 24/7.

Nation of Violence First Blood Match: Booker T. and Scott Steiner vs. Samoa Joe

Rules are Steiner vs. Joe starts the match. If Steiner wins, match is over. If Joe wins, he faces Booker T. in another separate match. Joe is wearing his regular Cheerios pants. Steiner runs up the ramp and meets Joe as they slug it out. Steiner throws Joe into the guardrail. Steiner grabs a bell and hits Joe with the backside of the bell. Wood + Face = No blood. Steiner puts the bell on Joe’s head and hammers the bell. Man I love Steiner. Where’s his Pogostick? No blood from Joe yet. Probably a lot of bacon grease, but no blood. They are in the ring now and Steiner connects with a couple of punches. Joe catches Steiner running in and slams him. Joe throws some rights of his own at Steiner. Don West mentions that next week he has an interview with Joe and will get the answer on who the advisor is to Joe. Joe continues the attack on Steiner. At least this match has lasted longer than their single’s match on PPV a couple of months ago. Steiner takes a turnbuckle pad off exposing the steel. Steiner tries slamming Joe’s face into it, but Joe reverses and slams Steiner into it. Joe mounts and punches Steiner again. Still no blood. Joe gets tossed back first into the exposed turnbuckle. Steiner rolls to the floor and grabs a steel pipe. Joe comes running in and hits a suicide dive elbowing Steiner on the floor. Joe hits Steiner with the trash can and puts it on Steiner’s head. Joe then swings the pipe six times at Steiner’s head. Holy crap! Steiner is busted open and Steiner is eliminated. That was sick. Booker T. with Sharmell comes out with full pyro. Hmm. Something doesn’t add up. They kiss as we head to a commercial break.

We’re back and Joe is attacking Booker T. Joe throws rights railing Booker T. West says that Joe has already won the mental battle. Booker throws Joe face first into the guard rail to create some space. Booker T. throws Joe’s face into the ringpost. No blood. Booker throws nice elbows, still nothing. Joe fights back and slams Booker’s face into the guardrail. Joe is sweating like a pig. I’ll leave that comment alone. Joe tosses Booker T’ shoulder first into the steel ringpost. Still no blood. Booker comes back with some elbows into Joe’s bread basket. This is too easy. Booker slams Joe’s face into the steps. Booker connects with some knees. He misses with an axe kick and ends up crotched. Joe swings and hits Booker in the stomach with the steel pipe. Wow. That was a shot! Booker is spitting up blood and Joe is the winner.

Winner: Samoa Joe
Match Thoughts: **1/2. Great action at some points. The steel pipe shots on Steiner and Booker were worth watching alone. That was just brutal.

Joe screams that Kurt Angle is next on his list as we go to a commercial break.

A Stacker-2 commercial with Kurt Angle airs. Angle is sporting a full beard during it. Quite interesting. I thought Stacker-2 went out of business? Guess not.

A recap of the Nation of Violence match is aired. Those shots still look nasty.

Lauren is backstage with the trainers that are tending to Booker T. and Scott Steiner. Raven lurks in the background again.

Tenay and West state that Joe has his sights set on Kurt Angle. West wants to know how Angle can focus on his match with Sting with Joe in the back of his mind.

Non-Title: TNA Legends Champion AJ Styles vs. “The Franchise” Shane Douglas

The Franchise of Target is back in TNA, but not under contract as Tenay states. Douglas is wearing a t-shirt. Might be a good thing. They lock-up and Douglas backs Styles back into the corner and clean breaks. Douglas has a target on his chest during this match. Styles makes Douglas flinch and laughs. Styles works on the left arm. Douglas is sporting a nice farmer’s tan. Douglas has Styles in a headlock. Styles tosses Douglas off the ropes and connects with a dropkick as Douglas rolls to the floor. AJ slingshots himself over the top rope to the floor onto Douglas. Douglas cuts Styles off sending him into the rail. AJ gets slammed into the rail again. Douglas is reversed and thrown headfirst into the ringpost. Did these guys watch the last match? Seriously? AJ’s ankle looks hurt. He tries to spring but Douglas hits Styles’ feet and knocks him to the floor via a dropkick. Douglas chokes Styles in the corner with his boot. Styles connects with elbows, but Douglas hammers Styles in the back. Styles battles back, but Douglas hits Styles again. Styles and Douglas trade blows. Douglas looks gassed. AJ hits the Pele and gets a two count with Douglas’ foot draped over the bottom rope. AJ goes for a sunset flip, but Douglas punches AJ in the face. Douglas tries hitting the belly-to-belly. AJ connects with a Flying Armbar and Douglas gives up!

Winner: TNA Legends Champion AJ Styles
Match Thoughts: *1/4. I can’t really rate this high at all. Almost the same formula used in the match prior. Douglas didn’t look too bad though. I’d like to see him back in TNA for good.

Douglas attacks Styles after the match and hits the Belly-to-Belly. Daniels comes out to save AJ. Daniels puts the boots to Douglas. Douglas hits Daniels with a towel. Inside of the towel is handcuffs. Daniels gets handcuffed to the middle ropes. Douglas spits at Daniels. Joe runs out and chases Douglas away.

A TNA commercial is shown with all the sayings that the critics had about TNA and saying they would fail. Old footage is shown as well which is a nice touch. Oh snap it’s a Slammiversary commercial. 7 years of TNA. Can’t believe it’s been that long already.

Lauren is running down the steps away from Raven. She runs into the Women’s room and Raven sits on the floor on the outside. There is screaming heard in the bathroom. Daffney comes out. Lauren is shown on the floor breathing heavy with her cell phone next to her. We go to commercial.

More TNA Video Vault plugs. Wonder how many people signed up.

Back from commercial as Taylor Wilde is in search of Daffney. Daffney attacks Wilde and throws her in the fence backstage. Dr. Stevie stops Daffney and apologizes to Taylor. Raven is shown sitting on the floor AGAIN. Lot’s of work and sitting for Raven tonight.

Tenay and West rundown the rest of the card with Tara vs. Madison Rayne and Sting vs. Kurt Angle in a King of the Mountain Qualifying match. The TNA Live schedule is shown. Looks like a busy next couple of weeks for TNA. I can’t believe Slammiversary is at the Palace.

Jeremy Borash is backstage with The Beautiful People Angelina Love wants her set back. Borash says her butt needs to tend do. Velvet Sky says that a noun for JB is idiothole. DirecTV logo in the background. Nice advertising. Borash mentions the old Warriors move. Angelina Love says there not a baseball team. So dumb. Madison Rayne calls Tara obese and says she will rip the skin off her body. Commercial break follows.

ODB and Cody Deaner are shown with ODB training Deaner. Deaner is doing Military Presses, Barbell Curls, Bench Presses, and chasing a duck. ODB throws Deaner into the lake for trying to smoke a cigarette.

Jeremy Borash is following Angle. Angle says if Joe wants him that he can have him. Angle wants Joe to bring it because he has something for him.

Madison Rayne w/TNA Knockouts Champion Angelina Love and Velvet Sky vs. Tara

Why couldn’t they just call Victoria by her real name? Tara is just stupid sounding. She has music that sounds like her old Tatu music which isn’t a bad thing now is it? Tara will be challenging Angelina Love for the TNA Knockouts Championship at Slammiversary. They tie-up and trade arm ringers. Every match tonight has started the same exact way. Tara works over the elbow of Rayne and begins targeting the arm. Sound familiar? Tara dropkicks Rayne on the floor and rolls her back into the six sided ring. Tara hits a Springshot Legdrop for a two count. Headlock applied by Tara to Rayne. Tara stares down Angelina Love. Rayne knees Tara in the midsection stopping Tara’s offense. Knees to the head of Tara followed by a neckbreaker gets two. Three attempts and three nearfalls by Rayne. Madison Rayne continues with punches for another two count. Rayne goes to the top and missed a dropkick. Tara gets to her feet and clobbers Rayne with right hands. Tara nails a snap suplex and rolls over for two. Scoop slam by Tara and her Booty dance followed by a standing moonsault get a two count. VINTAGE VICTORIA! Tara lifts Rayne up and connects with the Widow’s Peak. That’s all she wrote. Three count and its over.

Winner: Tara
Match Thoughts: 1/2*. Rayne got good offense in, but it was pretty much a squash match. Good to see Victoria back in the ring…erm…I mean Tara.

Jeremy Borash is with Eric Young. Young states that he is tired of being taken advantage of by everyone. Borash tells Eric Young to stop thinking people are taking advantage of him. Young responds with a slap in the face. Now that was great. Commercial time again.

Wow. Another TNA Video Vault plug. What are they trying to do? Shove it down our throats apparently.

So Cal Val is backstage with Daniels. Daniels screams for Shane Douglas. He challenges him to a match at Slammiversary. If Douglas wins, he can have Daniels’ TNA roster spot. If Daniels wins, Douglas leaves the company.

King of the Mountain Qualifying Match: Kurt Angle vs. Sting

Angle sports a t-shirt with a rose on it and Main Event Mafia skullcap on his way to the ring. That shirt looks so perverted that I might actually purchase one. Maybe. It’s Main Event Mafia vs. Main Event Mafia here. This is a Bound for Glory 2007 rematch. If this match is anything like that match, then it should be a dandy. El Dandy! They shake hands to begin the match. Classy. PPV caliber main event here folks. They lock-up to being this contest. Angle backs Sting into the corner and clean breaks. Sting and Angle get tied up into the ropes and they clean break again. Matt Morgan is mentioned by Tenay as still wanting that spot in the Main Event Mafia. Angle takes Sting over, but Sting throws Angle into a head scissors. They both get up and stand off. Angle puts Sting into a headlock and shoulder tackles him. Good match thus far. They lock it up again. Sting this time has Angle in a headlock. Sting shoulder blocks Angle twice running off the ropes. Angle retreats to the floor as we head to a commercial break.

We come back with Sting and Angle circling each other. Angle connects with some uppercuts. Angle suplexes Sting and gets a two count. Dual “Let’s go Angle” “Let”s Go Sting” chants begin in in the crowd. Sting clotheslines Angle over the top ropes and onto the floor. Sting follows and slugs away at Angle. The match is in Sting’s favor right now. Angle escapes back into the ring. Sting goes for the Stringer Splash, but it’s dodged and Angle hits an Angle Slam on Sting for a two count! Angle hits Sting with a backbreaker for multiple two counts. Angle applies a headlock on Sting again trying to weaken his opponent. Sting gets back to his feet. Elbows to Angle breaks the hold. Angle catches Sting off the ropes and hits a release overhead belly-to-belly suplex for a two count. Angle covers again and gets another nearfall. Angle picks Sting up and snapmares him over. He has him in a kneeling bearhug almost type position as we head to another commercial break. Ugh.

Finally we come back. Sting catches a boot in the face and they meet each other in the ring with a double clothesline. Both men are down. The referee applies the count. Both men are up at eight. They trade punches. Sting gets the best of Angle and connects with three clotheslines. Sting hits a Stinger Slash on Angle in the corner. He hits another! Sting hits a suplex on Angle for a very nearfall! Angle recovers and hits three German Suplexes. The third one releases. Angle drops the straps and means business. He tries an Angle Slam, but Sting tries the Scorpion Deathlock which is then reversed into an Ankle Lock! Sting rolls through and gets to his feet Powerbombing Angle! He falls on top for a two count! Wow! Angle backs Sting into the corner blocking the Scorpion Deathdrop. Angle runs in, Sting dodges, and Angle’s shoulder hits the ringpost. Sting hits the Scorpion Deathdrop, but Matt Morgan is distracting the referee! Morgan hits Sting from the apron. Angle Slam by Angle onto Sting finishes the match! Great match!

Winner: Kurt Angle
Match Thoughts: ***1/4. I really liked this match. Great, long action, but a bad finish. Would’ve liked a clean ending.

Kurt Angle realizes that Morgan helped him win the match. He looks angry and shoves Morgan. Morgan shoves Angle down. They have a stand off with the referees and security separating them.

Updated TNA Slammiversary Card:

King of the Mountain Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Mick Foley(c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Samoa Joe

King of the Mountain Match for the TNA X-Division Championship: Suicide(c) vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin

TNA Knockouts Championship: Angelina Love(c) vs. Tara

TNA World Tag Team Championship: Team 3D(c) vs. Beer Money Inc.

For Daniel’s Roster Spot: Daniels vs. Shane Douglas

Final Thoughts: Another great episode of iMPACT! Solid action all throughout. TNA has really stepped it up over the past couple of weeks. Angle qualifies for the King of the Mountain Match and Morgan looks to be stepping into a feud with Sting. I’m looking forward to next week’s show to see how thing’s progress. Great show though.

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Alexander Miezin

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