411’s WWE Raw Report 8.19.02

411’s WWE Raw Report 8.19.02
Live from Norfolk, Virgina
Announcers are JR & The King
Report done *EXCLUSIVELY* for 411 by PK

Intro to start….HHH vs. The Rock is your main event.

The Undertaker comes out to start the night. It looks like he has something to say about the UnAmericans. He says that, just like the USA, he doesn’t take any shit. He is a proud American, and he says that in America, he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, but that comes with a price, the lives of many soldiers. And because of that, he has a problem with non-citizens abusing our freedom, like the UnAmericans. He pledges that he will make an example of Test at SummerSlam. He will show us all what happens when you screw with America. UT’s music hits again, and Test comes out on a Sporty motorcycle with the upside down flag attached to the back. Test gets in the ring and snatches the mic. Test says that for the longest time, he thought that America sucked, well now he thinks that UT does to. UT drills him, but Storm and Christian come out and triple team UT. Booker and Goldust quickly come out to help and they send the UnAmericans running. Booker gets on the mic, and challenges them for a 6-man tag.

Commercials.

The Ring is full of RAW SuperStars and Terri. Eric Bischoff comes out, and dumps the 24/7 Hardcore Rule. He then says that they will have a 6 minute Hardcore Battle Royal, and the winner will be the champion. He says they can go anywhere, except near a tarp next to the ramp.

Hardcore Battle Royal
Dreamer, Steven Richards, Terri, Johnny The Bull, Bradshaw, Crash, Spike, Bubba Ray, & Jeff Hardy. I’ll focus on the current Champion. Tommy Dreamer gets Double Teamed by Bradshaw and Johnny the Bull. Bradshaw nails a Clothesline from Hell and pins Dreamer. Bradshaw gets jumped by everyone, and gets dumped on the outside. Bradshaw then fends everyone off, but gets a StevenKick in the chin, but Crash jumps on Bradshaw for the pin. Elsewhere, the Dudleyz set up a table. Spike goes to Dudley Dog Crash, but Crash tosses Spike to the outside. Bubba comes from behind and powerbombs Crash through the table. Dreamer comes in and wails Bubba with the kendo stick and pins Crash. Dreamer gets leveled, and the rest of the participants attempt to pin him, but they keep pushing each other off. Dreamer retains the title.
Winner – Dreamer

Kane’s Pyro hits. It says that his path has been chosen, then a riddle of sorts.

Stacy and Trish meet with Bischoff, he makes the Bra and Panties Mud Match.

Commercials.

Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler – Bra and Panties Mud Match
Trish is in the ramp coming out, but Stacy comes out from behind and tosses Trish off the stage into the pool of mud. This is horrible. Well I guess I can tell who is who, since Trish’s tits are about 8x bigger then Stacy’s. Trish rolls up Stacy. Trish then tosses both Stacy and The Fink back in the pool.
Winner – Stratus

The Rock arrives. A stagehand gives him a package that was sent from Paul Heyman. He messes with the stagehand, Nikki, and finally opens the package. They are photographs, and he tosses them to the ground. A close up shows that the photos are of Hogan after his beating at the hands of Brock Lesnar.

Commercials.

HHH comes out in street clothes with a clip board, great another interview segment. HHH says that 9 times out of 10 in the ring, everything is business. But this time, it is personal. HHH says that he has to have a contract signed by HBK or no match will be had at SummerSlam. The contract says that HHH is not liable for crippling HBK. He then says that he knows that Brock is watching tonight, and tells him that he will destroy The Rock tonight, because he has gotten Bischoff to give him a No DQ match with The Rock. HHH then tells Brock that he will be waiting for Brock next week. Chris Jericho then comes out. Y2J says that they have a lot in common. First, they hate each other, and has since Jericho’s debut. Second, They both have matches against has-beens. The only real difference is that Jericho is much more talented. Jericho then rants on how much of an assclown Flair is. Flair comes out, and dumps a trashcan over Jericho’s head. Horrible.

Commercials.

Boot of the Week – Test beating UT in the 8-man tag

Booker T, Goldust, & The Undertaker vs. The UnAmericans
Americans jump the UnAmericans to start. UT is pummeling Christian in the corner. UT with a Tiltawhirl slam for 2. The BTeezy in, pummels away on Christian. Storm in, more pummeling by Booker. Christian interferes, and Booker is dumped to the outside where Test tosses him into the ring steps. Christian in. Christian is all over Booker. Test in, nails Booker with a full nelson slam for 2. Test goes for a Meltdown, but Booker slips through, nails a side kick. Goldust and Christian in. GD nails Christian with a bulldog, and sets him up and nails the Shattered Dreams. Test from behind, Big Boots GD. UT fights off the UnAmericans, UT choke slams Storm. This looks like a huge clusterfuck. Some how, Christian nails GD with a tag title belt and wins the match.
Winners – UnAmericans

Commercials. Is that Sable in “Serving Sara”?

Eric Bischoff is getting RVD geared up for SummerSlam. Big Show comes in and wants the title shot. A RVD/Big Show match is made. Show says that not hurting RVD is a problem or something.

Flair starts talking to Terri, but predictably Y2J jumps him from behind.

Commercials.

RVD vs. The Big Show
RVD goes to work on Show’s knee. RVD goes for a Monkey Flip, but Show drops him to the outside. Show is tossing RVD around on the outside. Show tosses a piece of the ringsteps in the ring, followed by RVD. Show choke slams RVD, and goes to drive the steps through RVD. Bischoff comes out on the ramp and yells “3 Minutes, 3 Minutes,” and Rosie & Jamal come out and beat the hell out of Big Show.
No Contest

Commercials.

Coach with The Rock. Rock cuts a promo about how he has been kicking HHH’s ass since the caveman days. Coach then shows Rock a tape sent to him from Heyman. The tape is a highlight reel of Lesnar. Rock then runs down Lesnar (Note: Sorry, I did not feel like dictating what Rock said, but it was all crap, much like anything he says, I hate him, I hate Raw right now, and I’m hating the WWE more and more each crappy segment of the night.)

Commercials.

HHH comes into Bischoff’s office. The fax came in and HBK has signed the liability contract. Bischoff then says that he will on sanction the match, and that it will never go in the books. HHH is fine with that, because he will demolish HBK.

Fozzy performs. Here to give you coverage of the performance, “A Wrestling News Report” writer, Joshua Grutman:
Jericho is on stage with his band, Fozzy. They perform a song, and it’s incredible. Seriously. This has redeemed the whole show for me. Ric Flair then ruined my night by attacking Jericho with a guitar and destroyed Fozzy’s instruments. I am so pissed off right now. Still, an impressive segment, definitely the best stuff the WWE has done in months.

Commercials.

King and JR take us into a SummerSlam preview.
HBK vs. HHH
Flair vs. Jericho
Storm & Christian vs. Booker T & Goldust (Tag Titles)
Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle
Undertaker vs. Test
Edge vs. Eddie Guerrero
RVD vs. Chris Benoit (IC Title)
Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock (Undisputed Title)

In the back, Rock is getting ready, his phone rings, he looks at it, the tosses it.

Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar walk through the crowd down to ringside. Paul is on the phone, apparently he was the one trying to call The Rock. He then leaves a voicemail telling Rock that they are ringside.

Commercails.

Bischoff is at ringside, and makes sure the Brock and Paul know not to do anything.

HHH vs. The Rock
Rock and HHH go nose to nose. HHH gives the “Just Bring It.” Rock brings it, and pummels HHH in the corner, tosses him to the other corner, then explodes with a clothesline. Rock dumps HHH to the outsides, and HHH takes control, hanging Rock on the wall. In the ring, HHH then nails some boots into Rock’s ribs. HHH buries his shoulders into Rock, then lays on an abdominal strectch. Rock hip tosses out of the hold then lays rights into HHH. HHH thumbs Rock in the eye before he can connect the spit punch. Both men charge, double clothesline. Back and forth punches, Rock with a spinebuster, nails the People’s Elbow for 2. Rock starts cornering HHH, but HHH low blows him. On the outside, HHH tosses Rock into the steps, Brock jumps the wall. HHH gets his sledgehammer and goes to nail Rock, but HBK comes out and stops it, HHH fights off HBK, and goes for a Pedigree but Rock stops it. HHH with a knee to face on Rock, HBK fights off Brock with a Superkick, Rock nails a Rock Bottom on HHH, goes through the crowd and chases Brock. HBK suicide dives HHH.
No Contest

Show Over, thank God.

411 Staffer Thoughts:

Grutman – Best ending to a no dq match ever.

Stein – what an anti-climactic end to a build up before a PPV…and a PPV that’s supposed to be “just that damn good”

Daniels – I hope Michaels has a lot left in the tank so he can make all the folks who thinks he doesn’t have it left eat their own asses.

Jennette – Shawn almost busted his ass on that suicide dive….

Hurtado – solid, although Pankonin and Stibbons disagree

And finally, an email I got during Live Coverage from JElliott:

If you don’t enjoy Raw, don’t do the live coverage. Some people myself
included, rely on your recap to get us through the working day, but
honestly, I’d prefer to hear some no talent and unimaginative person who
enjoys the show recap it objectively, rather than to hear your opinion
ruin what appears to be a pretty good Raw because of your own misgivings
about the show and how it is run.

If you can do better, put your balls on the line, apply for a job at
WWE, send them your ideas even thought their disclaimer allows them to
use it with any remuneration to you, if they find your ideas good enough
to use, trust me they will give you a job and money. Have a go! If you
loved the business and what you do, you wouldn’t sit back on your ass
and criticize and critic every single thing little thing that happens
and you wouldn’t be so god damn negative! Try to find something positive
once in a while, it will work out better for everyone in the long run.

Have a go! No one will laugh at you for trying, but one day you may
begin to laugh at your self for not trying!

Thanks for the feedback JElliott, and your right, I shouldn’t be putting my own opinions in my report, and no I don’t think I can do better. But I have the keyboard, the posting privledges, and a word processor, so when I do feel like I need to vent my frustration on how this is the worst I’ve ween the WWF(E) since the early 90’s, I will, and you will read.

~PK