411’s WWE Super Tuesday Report 11.12.02

WWE Super Tuesday for November 12, 2002

Report by Brendan Johnston exclusively for www.411wrestling.com

Your favorite Smackdown recapper pulls double duty this week, kids…. no, not Keith! Ingrates.

You’ll get my thoughts on Raw Thursday as usual, but I’ll give you a little sample to tide you over…

Raw… okay… I’ve figured out why Lance Storm switched to trunks. It’s clearly just to show off his package. I couldn’t be any less gay, and I try not to look, but sweet fancy f*cking Moses, Lance… we get it… despite teaming with Regal, you’re the Real Man’s Man. Now go back to your kick-ass WCW tights.

Though according to Cari, it’s all done with mirrors. This of course proves what I’ve been saying all along: Cari’s always right.

I’m really glad Ashish asked me to do this, know why? Because it means that I finally get to recap a Kane match. The Big Red Machine is an old sentimental favorite, and I’ve never, ever recapped a match of his. I’m so happy. Yay me.

Anyway, on with the report…

The Smackdown montage rolls, then turns into the Raw music with talent from both brands. Split screen between Raw and Smackdown with Ross and Lawler talking about the ten-man, then Cole and Tazz announce an…. er, announcement for Survivor Series from SD GM Stephanie McMahon.

We go to Steph’s office, where she has the WWE Tag Team Titles. Steph makes a three-way match for the titles; Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Edge/Rey Mysterio. Steph says she’ll hold onto the titles tonight for safekeeping, to explain away the fact that Edge doesn’t have his, as he hadn’t won them when this was taped.

WWE Tag Team Champion Edge vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit: Cole talks about how Eddie took a beating form Brock Lesnar and probably isn’t one hundred percent, even though that beating didn’t happen yet..

Benoit attacks Edge while Guerrero is still outside. Chops in the corner by the Wolverine. Eddie hangs out outside. Edge reverses a cross corner whip and hits a backdrop and legdrop for two, broken up by Guerrero out of nowhere. Guerrero murderizes Edge with stomps and a back elbow, but gets clotheslined by Benoit. Backdrop by Benoit to Guerrero. Benoit pounds on Eddie in the corner, but Edge attacks both of them, laying them both out to huge pops. Benoit whips Edge into a knee to the gut for two. Eddie pounds on Benoit as Edge regroups outside. Double clothesline sets up a double KO and we go to commercial.

Commercial break… Metroid Fusion for Game Boy Advance is coming. For those of you who don’t know… that’s a chick in that armor. Wild, huh?

And we’re back.

WWE Tag Team Champion Edge vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit: (continued) As we return, Eddie goes for the Lasso from El Paso but Benoit breaks it up. During the break, Edge hit a double flying clothesline. Edge and Benoit fight over who gets to beat up Eddie, and Edge flapjacks both of the former Radicalz. Edge goes up top, looking for something on Benoit but Eddie breaks it up. Benoit gets Eddie on his shoulders and Edge hits a missile dropkick, Doomsday Device style and covers for two. Benoit German suplexes Edge and Eddie hits a brainbuster on Benoit, but he rolls out of the way of the froggy splash. Edge faceplants Eddie but gets locked into the Crossface. Eddie tries to break it up but Benoit puts Eddie in the Crossface. Edge breaks it up and spears Benoit. Edge-O-Cution to Eddie gets two when Chavo Guerrero pulls the referee out. Edge baseball slides Chavo and takes out the ref. Chavo posts Edge and here’s Mysterio to his Chavo with a moonsault off the barricade. (Why? Because he can, that’s why.) Back in the ring, Eddie goes for another brainbuster but Benoit reverses to the Crossface. Angle runs down to throw the ref in just as Eddie taps, but the ref bumps into Benoit and breaks it up. Benoit shouts at Angle and Eddie school boys him for the win.

Winner: Eddie Guerrero by pinfall (10:27)

Angle and Benoit yell at each other as Cole and Tazz hype the Raw.ten-man.

Backstage, the Big Show walks.

Commercial break… I take this opportunity to change my pants and switch to Smallville for a second.

And we’re back.

Video package of how evil the Big Show is and how Brock can’t beat him so it’s all the more impressive when he does it on Sunday.

The Big Show comes down to the ring. Show on the mic to quote Heyman, saying he can’t beat the Big Show. Show talks about putting Brock through the table, then press-slamming him off the stage. That’s why this Sunday, Show will be the next WWE Champion. His music hits and that’s it.

Commercial break… Steven Seagal IS Half Past Dead

And we’re back.

Ross and Lawler take over from Raw. They show the vague Elimination Chamber spot. Ever notice when they digitally slow down anyone’s voice it sounds exactly like a Big Show promo?

Back to Smackdown for Tazz to run the show on the….

Interpromotional Bikini Challenge– Torrie Wilson vs. WWE Women’s Champion Trish Stratus: Cole talks about Al Wilson getting engaged to Dawn Marie on Thursday. I cannot believe the Women’s title is going to be a hardcore match. Oh… did I mention I’m going to Survivor Series? Because I am.

Trish goes first. She’s in a glittery black bikini. Tazz tells Cole to make a note that he has to talk to Steph about bringing Trish to Smackdown. Torrie goes next and has a translucent, glittery bikini on. Tazz polls the crowd and Torrie is the clear favorite. Nidia pulls Torrie out and goes after Trish. Trish tosses Nidia right into a smack from Torrie. Trish’s music hits and Tazz raises both their hands for a draw, I guess.

Damn that Trish Stratus and her using her backstage political power to keep younger, newer talent like Torrie Wilson down.

(Note: That was a joke.)

Cole sends it over to Raw, where Shawn Michaels is getting a mic put on him. We’ll hear from him when we come back.

Commercial break… Extreme Ops looks like XXX only “really stupid” as opposed to “kinda dumb.”

And we’re back.

Video package of Shawn Michaels’ miraculous recovery and return to Raw, then his acceptance of the spot in the Elimination Chamber match, then of HBK taking the Pedigree last night.

Back to Ross and Lawler, asking HBK what the Chamber match is gonna be like. One word, says Michaels. Wild, says the Heartbreak Kid. Crazy. Chaotic. Okay, says Michaels; that’s three words. HBK says that HHH lives for the World Title, and after all HHH has done to Michaels and his family, he can’t allow the Game to keep the title. Lawler asks who will win, and HBK says he’s not sure, but if he can somehow make it to the end of the match and win the World Heavyweight Title, then there’s gonna be a new sheriff in town.

Commercial break… Smackdown 4 is coming soon. And if it hadn’t been delayed you can bet I’d be playing it right now instead of recapping this show.

And we’re back.

Recap of Jericho beating half the world with chairs last night.

World Heavyweight Champion Triple H (w/Ric Flair), World Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & Christian and the Three Minute Warning (Rosey and Jamal) vs. Booker T, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Bubba Ray Dudley and Rob Van Dam: Man, Foley was right; Bubba Ray is a Cactus Jack ripoff. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Jamal and Jeff to start. Jamal pounds away and hits a back body drop. Tag to Christian. Jeff ducks a clothesline and hits the legs to the crotch. Tag to Bubba Ray Foley. Bubba chops in the corer. He talks some smack to the heel corner., hits a corner splash and the Flip Flop and Fly. He drops an elbow for two. Flapjack by Bubba, tag to RVD, tag to Jamal. RVD gets overpowered but dodges a corner splash. Kick form the top and standing moonsault get two. RVD takes a clothesline and Jamal tags HHH, who pounds away in the heel corner. Jericho comes in without a tag and backdrops RVD. Y2J misses a dropkick and RVD hits Rolling Thunder. Tag to Kane, tag to HHH. Clotheslines in the corners by Kane. Big boot to Jericho Double chokeslam attempt to HHH and Christian turns into a double clothesline by the Big Red Machine. Up top, flying lariat to Triple H but Jamal pulls Kane out of the cover. It’s lunacy outside the ring. In the ring, RVD heel kicks Christian, then Jericho. Jericho counters a ‘rana attempt by RVD into the Walls but Booker T breaks it up with a superkick, then the axe kick and Spin-A-Roonie. Christian hits a reverse DDT, but gets Bubba Bombed and Swanton Bombed, then Jeff gets murdered with a Samoan drop by Jamal who superkicks Bubba out and goes for the top rope splash but gets chokeslammed off by Kane. HHH comes in and goes for the Pedigree but Kane backdrops out and chokeslams him. Christian breaks up the cover and gets press slammed out onto Rico and Rosey. In the ring, RVD hits the Five-Star Frog Spalsh on Jamal, then Van Daminates Jericho. Somersault plancha to Rico, Rosey, Christian and Jericho. Kane signals for something but gets hit with a chair by Ric Flair. HHH sneaks in with the Pedigree to end it.

Winners: Triple H, Chris Jericho, Christian, Rosey and Jamal by pinfall (8:27)

The heels celebrate up the ramp as we fade out.

Thanks for reading. See you Thursday in my usual spot.