411’s WWE Superstars Report 05.25.13

Commentators: Matt Striker & Tony Dawson

Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: John Cena… World Champion: Dolph Ziggler… Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett… United States Champion: Dean Ambrose… Tag Team Champions: The Shield… NXT Champion: Big E Langston… NXT Tag Team Champions: The Wyatt Family… Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn

Tons of Funk & The Funkadactyls vs. The Usos & The Bella Twins eight person mixed tag match:   Odd paring on the “heel” side here. The Usos are just as confused. This may be the first time in WWE history two teams of identical twins are teaming. Clay and Jimmy Uso open and do some silly posing and dancing. They lock up and Clay powers Jimmy into the corner and gives him a reverse butt-splash. The clean break is given by the good babyface and they go again, Clay hits a shoulderblock but misses an elbow drop; a Bella blind tags herself in and I can see this match is going to be a bitch to recap. Brodus dares her so she gives him the loser signal on the forehead. Brodus is OFFENDED! Naomi tags in and beats the crap out of Nikki; The Bella gets a pair of boots in the corner to break momentum. Naomi comes back with the Rear View. Jey gets a frustrated tag so Naomi surprises him with a head scissors and gives him a little attitude. Tensai comes in as Jey’s all “what was that for?” Well she is your opponent! After commercial, Tensai is pounding on Jey until he counters with a drop-toe hold in the ropes; he reverts to some heelish tactics and chokes him in the ropes. The Bellas get in on the act with the double butt smash on the apron. Tensai sells it like he should: that was AWESOME! He asks for it again! The Bells are insulted; Tensai turns right into a superkick. Jey is acting very heel here as there is some tension between he and Naomi since the head scissors. The Usos pound on Sweet T in the corner and have dropped the smiles in favor of sneers and serious reactions. Jimmy tags in and kicks the crap out of Tensai in the corner as well. I am enjoying this match because it is unique and different. The Usos keep doubling up on him; Jimmy hits the Samoan Avalanche and STARES a hole through Naomi on the apron. He applies a chinlock. Tensai tries to comeback but it’s cut off by a Samoan drop. Jimmy sits on the second ropes but misses a flying head-butt. Clay gets the hot tag and beats up Jey and nails him with a delicious T-Bone Steak Suplex. He squishes him with a Funky Avalanche and powerslam; Jimmy makes the save but Tensai cancels him out. The Bells offer no assistance as Clay drops a splash on Jimmy to get three. Post-match, Naomi looks a bit upset during the dance number.   7/10 I really enjoyed this match; it was not Savage/Steamboat in terms of in-ring quality but it allowed personalities to take over. The Usos were the smiling babyfaces in the outset and as they continued the match (and after Naomi embarrassed them with the ‘rana) they became serious heels, which are impressive, being able to be over as both babyfaces and heels in the same match.

Here are your winners… Tons of Funk & the Funkadactyls via splash pinfall

Raw recaps the Ryback ambulance situation and subsequent promo. Then the Shield promo and highlights from the excellent six-man tag from Raw are shown (for my full recap, click here).

Alex Riley vs. Damien Sandow:   Pre-match, Sandow demands SILENCE but the crowd cheers. He’s INSULTED so he’s going to use Riley as an example of what he does to incompetence. Two weeks in a row for Riley on Superstars; I guess with Michael McGillicutty getting a new name and push there’s room for Riley. They work a hammerlock reversal spot and Riley wind up with a armlock. He hits a few rising armbars until Sandow kicks him in the ropes off a whip. He charges… right into a dropkick. Sandow utilizes a drop-toehold in the ropes to take control and beats Riley up with fists, the Russian leg sweep and Cubito Aequet, which only gets a one count. Sandow with a crossface chicken wing (he should use that move in honor of Bob Backlund). Sandow aggressively drops knees and returns to a chinlock to keep control. Riley eventually powers up to the roar of the crowd (still over) and hits a lunging crossbody. Riley hits that hiptoss into a neckbreaker move of his, which needs a name. Sandow retreats to the apron but Riley hip-launches him back in; he heads up top but has to leap over Sandow who had recovered. Alex keeps the advantage with an Anderson-style spinebuster, for two. Riley looks for the Final Score but Sandow slips free and nails the Silencer to get the pinfall.   4/10 Just a squash match for Sandow; usually when someone begins to appear on Superstars a few times, the WWE is regaining confidence in them. Perhaps Riley will get some push. Sandow is trapped in midcard hell along with Cody Rhodes. Not sure why the Scholars just don’t team up as a regular team since they aren’t doing anything of note elsewhere.

Here is your winner… Damien Sandow via Silencer pinfall

Speaking of Curtis Axel his “debut” is covered in the final recap along with Paul Heyman. Triple H interrupts, challenges Axel, and collapses from post-concussion syndrome.

OVERALL 6/10   The higher score is just for the wrestling. The opening eight person match was unique and different instead of the usual cookie-cutter stuff the WWE usually churns out (especially on Superstars). The other match was a squash but it was still fun as Riley is a change from the usual jobbers who have become stale, at least Alex looks like he really cares.

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