411’s WWE Velocity Report: 02.25.06

Super Crazy versus Vito

Circling to start. Lockup, and Vito backs Super Crazy into the corner. He hits a knee, then grabs a headlock. Crazy throws him off, but Vito comes back with a shoulder. Crazy gets a hiptoss and a dropkick. Vito goes outside, and Crazy nails him with a plancha. He rolls Vito back in, but Vito punches him as he tries to springboard in. Back outside, Vito rolls Crazy in and whips him to the ropes. Vito nails a big clothesline for two. Vito gets a suplex, then climbs to the top rope. He nails a big elbow drop for two. Vito applies a rear chinlock, but Crazy gets up. Vito nails him with a knee and tosses him back down. He goes for an elbow drop, but Super Crazy moves. He dodges a charge in the corner, then nails Vito with a back elbow and a spinning heel kick. Crazy gets a backdrop, then a crucifix into a sunset flip for two. Oklahoma roll gets two. Vito turns the tide with a powerslam, but Crazy avoids the Vader Bomb. Super Crazy goes up top and hits a Missile Dropkick, followed by a standing moonsault for the win.

Winner: Super Crazy
Match Time: 4:19
Rating: ***
Commentary: Good match, everything flowed really well. Helms is doing a good job as Cruiserweight Champ, but I hope they consider Super Crazy for the title at some point down the road.

The Hall of Fame announcement for Eddie Guerrero is shown.

Sylvan versus Shawn Patrick

Sylvan cuts an Anti-American pre-match promo. So he’s doing the same gimmick, but he wears sunglasses now. He jumps Patrick when he finishes, stomping away on him in the corner. Sylvan nails several punches, then whips Patrick across the ring and clotheslines him. He tosses Patrick out of the ring, then follows him out and press slams him onto the rail of pain. Sylvan slides Patrick back into the ring, then chokes him on the ropes. Sylvan hits the Gluteus Bomb, then slides out of the ring and smacks Patrick in the face. Sylvan grabs a chinlock. Patrick gets up and out, nails an eyepoke, and then hits a dropkick. Sylvan reverses a whip to the corner, but Patrick gets a boot and a high crossbody. Sylvan rolls through, lifts Patrick onto his shoulders, and hits the TKO for the win.

Winner: Sylvan
Match Time: 2:59
Rating: **1/2
Commentary: Sylvan was better than usual here. A little intensity goes a long way.

Tsuki versus Mascarita Sagrada

One of these guys is Max Mini. I’m sure of it. Tsuki, I think. Pre-match hijinks with the referee occur. Sagrada crawls around after Tsuki. He lifts a leg and pretends to micturate. Lockup, and Sagrada hits an inverted slam. Armdrag and a sweep by Tsuki. Criss-Cross around the ring, and some more hijinks. Tsuki gets a purple nurple and a punch. Sweep gets two. Back elbow by Sagrada. Chop, Tsuki reverses a whip but misses a charge. Backdrop by Sagrada. Arguing occurs. Foot stomp and butt drive by Tsuki gets two. Spots with the ref catching Tsuki on the kickouts. Slam by Sagrada, more ref antics. Sagrada bites the ref’s ass. Tsuki bites Sagrada’s ass. I remember this spot from Gotch-Hackenschmidt. Sagrada gets a crucifix rollup for the win.

Winner: Mascarita Sagrada
Match Time: 4:18
Rating: *1/2
Commentary: Hard to recap. Just… weird.

A video details Rey’s Royal Rumble win, his loss to Randy Orton, and his subsequent reinstatement into the main event of WrestleMania.

Simon Dean and The Gymini versus Funaki, Paul London, and Brian Kendrick

Dean starts off with a promo about how he and the Goldbergs are gonna show off the Simon System. Paul London and a Gymini member start things out with a lockup. London gets tossed to the corner, but dodges a clothesline and hits a few kicks. London nails a boot and gets the Mushroom Stomp, then tags Funaki, who comes in with a double axe handle. Gymini boy gets a shoulder, then a bodyslam before tagging Simon Dean. Dean misses an elbow, then whips Funaki to the corner. Funaki reverses, then catches Dean with a hiptoss. Funaki gets the bulldog, then climbs up top. He gets crotched by one of the Gymini. Dean drags Funaki over to the heel corner, then tags a Gymini. He gets a couple of elbow drops for two. Funaki gets stomped away in the corner, then gets taken over with a double underhook suplex. Tag to the other Gymini member, who gets rolled up by Funaki for two. Funaki gets choked against the rope. Gymini tag back and forth and beat on Funaki in the corner, then tag Simon Dean. He gets a back kick on Funaki. Funaki tries to fight back, but Simon Dean keeps him in the corner. Dean hits knee strikes to Funaki’s head, then grabs a front facelock. Funaki gets to his corner and tags Kendrick, but the referee didn’t see it. This allows for another beatdown in the heel corner. Tag to a Gymini, who hits a hard punch. Tag to the other, and they get a double pancake on Funaki for two. Tag back to Simon Dean, who kicks Funaki and taunts his partners. Funaki nails a punch and hits an enziguri. Dean tags out, but Funaki hits an eyepoke and makes the tag. It’s PERFECTLY SYMMETRICAL VIOLENCE as London and Kendrick hit all their double team stuff. London gets slammed on the outside, though, and the Gymini reverse a Sliced Bread #2 into an inverted Derailer for the win.

Winners: Simon Dean and the Gymini
Match Time: 7:59
Rating: **3/4
Commentary: Wasn’t awful, and Funaki played the face in peril well, but nothing special.

That’s this week, catch you later.