wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE Raw Review 8.28.23
Image Credit: WWE
Loading...Being a writer means, more often than not, that dealing with trauma comes out of a pen or keyboard. It’s almost a knee-jerk reaction. When you’ve been doing it for as long as I have, it pretty much is a knee-jerk reaction. Then comes this nagging thought that perhaps you’re feeding your own ego based on the demise of someone that meant a lot to you. It’s a double-edged sword. Are we dealing with loss the only way we know how to, or are we trying to bolster our names simple because we have a platform?
This thought process, I’m sure, is shared by many others on this site, and even within the WWE. What’s the proper tribute? How do we not look like leeches obsessed with a high rating? For example, this Friday’s Smackdown was emotionally taxing and downright sad, and yet I saw comment after comment on how WWE did it incorrectly. I’ve seen this before. We tell others how to grief. We get upset that the video package wasn’t long enough, or they only gave us an “In Memoriam.” It’s baffling. To those struggling with how to properly process the loss of someone within our fandom/community, I want you to know that there isn’t a wrong way. A poem, a post, spending all day watching Season 2 of NXT (Ok, maybe this is a wrong way), or simply staying silent and grieving in peace. Do not let anyone dictate how to process this trauma.
For me, I sat with it. I wrote something, deleted it, and wrote it again. I nearly submitted a column. I’ve written about Dusty, I’ve written about AJ retiring, I’ve written about Cody leaving AEW. My body of work is not nearly as large as Larry’s, or as hilarious as Dunn’s, but in each of those, I know I was processing something, and let you guys peek in the room while I was processing it.
This one was different, though. For the first time ever, I had some guilt to wrestle with. I’m a critic, and although I don’t have a specific time in mind, I’m sure I said something at some point to disparage the thought process behind one of Bray’s wild characters, and with that realization came guilt. Who am I? What gives me the clout? The authority? What if Bray read one of my books and thought it garbage? How would that make me feel?
I have since addressed that guilt, and accepted that his creativity was shackled. I have made excuses that he was perfect, and the WWE had no clue what to do with him. Who knows, maybe he only had a few good ideas in him, but damn were they a blast. One thing I haven’t yet accepted, and hopefully will once this little opening closes, is that we lost another of our brothers in this small community. That shit hurts. It should come as no surprise that this world we love has taken its fair share of flesh and blood, but the days or enlarged hearts and ODs are waning. These hosses are healthy and in prime shape. It’s just a scary realization that we all have a ticking clock, and Bray’s was ready to stop ticking.
I do my best not to compare him to anyone. He wasn’t the next Undertaker, the next Jake the Snake. He was the first Bray Wyatt, and man did he fucking kill it.
RIP Bray.
It’s Monday…you know what that means
Shoutout to Funk and Wyatt, then Cole lets us know they lived to entertain us and that’ what they’re going to do tonight – entertain.
Sami Zayn vs Damien Priest
Rope work to start until Priest hits a shoulder tackle, knocking Sami down hard. Kicks to Sami as he stands, and a right hand to the face. Priest corners Sami, hits some right hands, whips out the corner hard and Sami hits the corner backfirst. Elbow to Priest, then he hops off the 2nd rope with another elbow. Covers for 1…NO!! Priest rolls out, Sami dives through the ropes with a dropkick. Kick to Priest. He flips off the top rope with a moonsault!
Back in the ring, Sami corners Priest and hits about five right hands before Priest shoots him off. Sami chops, Sami tries for an arm drag, but Priest hits a clothesline. Stomps to Sami. Priest corners Sami again, hits a hard right hand. Priest with a suplex out of the corner, covers for 1..2.NO!!!! Priest stretches the arms from behind, with a knee to the back. Sami stands, flips out of the hold, kicks Priest away, then sends Priest to the outside. Sami hits the ropes. Priest on the apron! GOOZLE!!! Sami sends Priest into the ringpost. Sami flies over the top rope! Priest catches him! Flatliner into the announce table!
WE COME BACK FROM A BREAK and Sami is hitting a sitout powerbomb onto Priest! Pin! 1..2…NO!!! Sami with a right hand. Another. Another to the dome. Fist straight to the forehead. Sami springboards over Priest, shoves him to the outside, then hits the ropes and dives over the top onto Priest! Sami flies from the top, Priest catches him, Sami sends him into the corner, Priest hits the corner face first. Blue Thunder Bomb from Sami! Pin! 1..2…NO!!! Priest is on the apron, Sami is on his knees trying to get it together. Sami grabs him by the head, Priest hangs him up! Priest with a high kick to Sami. In the ring, Priest hits another kick, locks the head under him, pulls Sami up for some Razor’s Edge, but Sami slinks down the back, hits the corner, EXPLODER INTO THE CORNER! Sami wants it! He calls for it
! Sami runs, but JD McDonagh is there to pull Sami’s leg! He turns, sees JD, then turns into a GOOZLE! SOUTH OF HEAVEN! PIN! 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Damien Priest
Pretty big win for Priest, even if it’s marred. They had a good sprint here. Nothing ground breaking, but fun enough.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 11:44
JD McDonagh enters the ring and wants to shake Priest’s hand, but Damien Priest shoves him, tells him to stay out of his business, and leaves the ring.
JD turns around and Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn are in wait. KO with a right hand! KICK! WHAM! STUNNER! KO sets up JD in the corner for Sami. HELLUVA KICK!
Backstage, both The New Day and The Viking Raiders are readying themselves for the upcoming match in their own areas of the arena.
Backstage, Drew McIntyre is staring at a picture of himself in Matt Riddle gear. In comes Matt Riddle who wants to know what he thinks. Drew says to chill, bro. Matt says how about matching kilts?
Drew almost walks away, but Riddle tells them they need ringside seats to the match between New Day and Viking Raiders. It’s what every great tag team does. Drew is convinced. He’s down, and he’ll see Riddle out there.
Video package for Raquel Rodriguez vs Rhea Ripley.
After the annonucmeent that John Cena will be making his return, we get the music of L.A. Knight!
But it’s The Miz dressed up as Knight! Lol.
He’s got Timbs, jeans, a t-hirt, and the vest as well as a chain and sunglasses.
Miz grabs a mic to a chorus of boos. He mocks Knight, cuts a promo, and does all the greatest hits. He mocks the fans a bit, saying they need to earn their cheers. He brought out a bag full of free t-shirts. He pulls one out, looks to toss it to the crowd, but tosses it on the floor outside the ring.
Miz takes the vest off and rips off the shirt. He calls the crowd pathetic, says we will cheer for anything, which means our support means nothing. Knight is generic, vanilla. He says knight’s name is something we can find on Cinemax at 4 AM in 1997. He doesn’t do catchphrases. Him being awesome is reality, not a catchphrase. When he beats and exposes Knight, party is over. We’ll cheer t-shirts and catchphrases, but we don’t cheer losers. When the dust settles, when everyone immortalizing whose game it really is. M-I-Z! Yeah!
Back to last week, where Shinsuke’s promo stunned the world, myself included.
This leads us to Seth Rollins sitting stoically backstage. Ricochet walks by and gives him a nod.
Matt Riddle and Drew McIntyre are out for the following match.
The New Day vs The Viking Raiders
Erik and Woods to start. Erik corners Woods, Woods ducks under, side headlock out the corner. Erik sends Woods to the ropes, shoulder tackle from Woods. Right hand, another, chop, Woods drops an elbow on the left arm, another. Erik with a hard right forearm to the face. Woods fires back, but Erik whips and Woods hops over, hits the ropes, tries for a tornado DDT but Erik catches him and hits a Sidewalk Slam. Tag to Ivar. They double the beatdown on Woods. A tag makes Erik the legal man. He corners Woods, tag to Ivar. Big knee to Woods. Woods with rights, a knee, tries for a tag, but Ivar pulls him in. Woods escapes, rolls, tag to Kofi! He flies high with a clothesline, knocks Erik off the apron, kicks ivar, corner splash is missed, but Woods Kofi with a kick. Crossbody to Ivar. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Kofi kicks the chest hard, BOOMB DROP!
We come back and Ivar is driving back elbows into the face of Kofi in the corner. Kofi with a dropkick off the 2nd rope! Valhalla is shown on the apron, creeping towards Woods. Ivar knocks Woods off the apron. He then corners Kofi and tags in Erik, who whips Ivar into the corner hard for a splash. Clothesline from Erik. Erik grabs the ankle, preventing a tag. Tag to Ivar. He axes the back, Kofi is down. He rubs the forearm across the nose. Ivar with a crossface. Tag to Erik. Kick to Kofi’s face. Erik knocks Woods off the corner then goes back to attack Kofi in the corner. Tag to Ivar. Erik stares down Drew and Riddle. Kofi chops out of the corner. Ivar tries to rake the back, but Kofi attacks the mid section, flies for a tag, Ivar catches him. Kofi slinks down to the mat. Ivar tries to sit on him, Kofi moves. Tag to Woods! Ducks under some rights, slides under the legs, hits a right, Erik in, kick for him, another kick, head scissors into a Russian Leg Sweep. Right hand in the corner to Ivar, kick out the opposite corner, he rolls through for a huge clothesline. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Both Raiders in now, try to double team Woods. Woods tags in Kofi, drop to hold to Ivar. Kofi kicks, Woods with a low Flatliner, Woods fies off the ropes for a splash, covers, 1..2..NO!! erik in to stop it. Woods in to send him outside and go along with him. Kofi tries for Trouble in Paradise, Ivar ducks under, wants to send Kofi to the outside. They both end up outside, but Kofi lands on his feet. Ivar shoots Kofi to the steps, Kofi hops over, Ivar catches him and drops Kofi on the steps. Ivar picks Kofi up then just drops him onto Drew and Riddle!
Drew has had enough taunting! He grabs a chair. And tosses it into the ring. He grabs another chair and tosses it, meant for Erik, but it hits Woods. Haha sick. Kofi gets sent into the ring. Ragnarök! Pin for 1..2..3!!!
Winners: The Viking Raiders
There was a bit of a lull here in the beginning, with two long moments of turmoil for the faces. Nearing 20 minutes, this was a rare case where shaving some time off would have helped.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 17:11
Backstage, The Judgment Day continue to disagree. Priest is upset at Finn because of his little buddy getting into his business, and Rhea is mad that they haven’t fixed this shit, considering only her and Dom are handling Judgment Day business.
Bray Wyatt tribute is next.
We are live, and Drew and Riddle are backstage to check on Woods and Kofi. Drew tries to apologize. Kofi tells him it’s all good. He knows cheap shots aren’t even what he does. Drew tells Riddle he wants to handle Viking Raiders next week, and he doesn’t want to have to tag in.
Kofi asks Riddle what Drew means, but Riddle has no clue, only that Drew said, “we” and that’s enough for him.
Gunther on the stick. Last week, history was made. Chad Gable beat him. The first loss in 500 days. By countout. In a Championship match. Technically, Gable won a victory, but in reality, he won nothing. Gunther is still our IC Champion. Next week, Gable will be getting another shot at the title, and Gunther will still be champion.
Chad Gable is out to let Gunther know that he’s winning next week, and it will only take him 1, 2, 3 seconds.
Ludwig Kaiser vs Chad Gable
After some quick rope work, Gable sends Ludwig outside then hits a cannonball off the apron.
BACK FROM BREAK and Kaiser has Gable hurting, with a knee against his face and the arm captured by Gable’s fingers. Gable rolls out of it. Bridges, side headlock into a leg takedown. Gable works the arm from behind, then to the side He twists it hard, but Kaiser pushes against the ropes. Gable won’t let go, so Kaiser locks the head, shoves at the ropes, tries to roll out, but Gable won’t let go. Kaiser finally is able to break the hold, hits some rights, but Gable shoots him to the ropes. Shoulder tackle from Kaiser. Gable locks the leg as Kaiser tries to run. Kaiser turns,huge chop from Gable! He picks the leg. Ankle Lock! Kaiser runs to the corner, to stop the hold. HUGE kick t othe nose, then a huge clothesline! GAHD DAMN! Both of those connected. Kaiser corners Gable, Gable escapes, monkey flip to Kaiser. Gable rushes the corner, gets seated on the top rope, high kick from Kaiser, Gable blocked it. ARM BAR ALONG THE ROPES! Ref breaks it at 3. Right from Kaiser sends Gable off the top rope to the outside. Kaiser outside, runs with a running uppercut, and yo Kaiser is connecting on ALL of these. GAHD DAMN.
WE ARE BACK and Kaiser is in control on the outside. He tosses Gable back into the ring, then corners him with a chop. High kick He sends Gable into the center of the ring. Kick to Gable. Chop from Gable, another, another, Gable hits the ropes, but Kaiser grabs him and flips him upside down onto the mat face first! Damn. Cover. 1..2..NO!!! They fight out of the corner with hard chops back and fort.h Gable with a throat thrust, right hand, dragon screw. Gable wants a German! But Kaiser escapes! Death Valley Driver, with a roll through, big kick to Gable! Cover! 1..2…O!!! Kaiser tosses Gable outside, he hangs onto the ropes, skins the cat, locks up Kaiser, and scissors him out of the ring. Kaiser runs back in, Gable with a right, another, throat thrust again, back kick to the stomach. Rolling neckbreaker to Kaiser. Gable to the corner, Moonsault, alnds on his feet, Kaiser tries for a European Uppercut. Gable sends Kaier outside! Gable to the top rope! Moonsault onto Kaiser and the nearby Vinci! Gable sends Kaiser into the ring, heads to the top rope! He dives, Kaiser’s foot is up, Gable realizes, grabs the ankle. ANKLE LOCK!!! Kaiser rolls through, Gable holds on, Kaiser turns on his back, big kick. Uppercut to Gable! Another in the corner!
Firemans from Kaiser, but Gable slinks down, roll through INTO A CHAOS THEORY! BUT VINCI HERE TO STOP THE PIN!!!
Winner: Chad Gable via DQ
GAWD DAMN! This shit was the complete opposite of the New Day/Vikings match. Not a single second wasted. Not a move unnecessary. Kaiser didn’t pull a single punch, and Gable ate every single move given to him. Thoroughly impressed, even though I shouldn’t be shocked.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 18:19
Imperium with the double team, but Otis enters the ring! They end up double teaming him. Gable tries to fight back, ut Imperium beats him down with a 2 on 1. Here comes Gunther! He tells his cohorts to step aside. He grabs Gable. Goes for a powerbomb, but Gable slinks out! ANKLE LOCK!!! Kaiser and Vince attack! Gunther grabs Gable. Powerbomb!
Back to RAW and Seth Rollins starts us off with a Wowiieee Yowieeee!
Awww.
He brings up Shin, says this Saturday, he gives Shin what he wants so how about right here and now, Shin gives Seth what he wants. He tells him to come out and say whatever left he has to say to Seth’s face.
If Shinsuke ain’t going to show, there’s only one thing left to do. Seth is ready to pour himself a tall, stiff drink and let us sing his song all night long.
We get another video package with Shnisuke, this time in a Gi, practicing some sick skills. He wants Seth’s wife to know that Shin is the reason she has to help him out of bed. We see various methods of Shin training, including some grappling and kickboxing while the voiceover speaks about destroying Seth’s back and putting him out of his misery. Seth has no honor, no code, and no future.
When this is over, Seth wonders if that is it, just a video package? Seth wants to know what happened to the Shinsuke that headlined the Tokyo Dome. The one that lit the world on fire in NXT. A month ago, Seth would have given him his shirt off his back. The same broken back. But this didn’t stand in the way of him becoming World Heavyweight Champion, and it wont stop him from beating Shinsuke’s ass at Payback. When the bell rings, Seth will pummel and maul and won’t stop until someone pulls him off. At that moment, Shinsuke will know, he will never take anything from him. Not his title, not his future, and not his family.
SHINSUKE NAKAMURA with a sneak attack!!! High knee to the back! Shinsuke with a big kick to the face. Seth is out. Shinuske takes a bow.
Shinsuke: “I told you to watch your back.”
Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens are backstage and they are challenging Judgment Day to a Street Fight in Pittsburgh for Payback.
They better make this next match short or really good, cuz it FEELS like they’ve done it too much.
As Tommaso Ciampa makes his way down the ramp, Bronson Reed attacks him from behind then heads to the ring. Ciampa hooks his head then enters the ring.
Tommaso Ciampa vs Bronson Reed
We come back to Reed smashing Ciampa’s chest in. He covers and only gets a two. Reed with an elbow drop. He lifts Ciampa for a suplex, Ciampa with a knee, another, a sleeper hold is next. Reed backs him into the corner. He misses a splash in the corner. Ciampa dropkicks the leg out from under Reed. Ciampa with a fireman’s, and it is not easy. He gets it, though, and hits a variation of White Noise. Ciampa drops the knee pad. He rushes Reed, but Reed with a pounce! Reed with a running sitout powerbomb! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Reed ooks to head to the top, but Ciampa is up. Chops for Reed as Ciampa hops to the apron. He tries for another, but Reed grabs him and pulls Ciampa into the ring steps face first! GAHD DAMN. Reed with a battering ram off the apron. He tries to drop Ciampa on the announce table, but Ciampa escapes and runs into the ring. Reed hops to the apron. Willow’s Bell!!! Running knee from Ciampa! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Ciampa hops up, Reed catches him, Ciampa falls off. Chop, another, one from Reed, spinning fist from Ciampa, a big clothesline and Reed Is still standing.
Ciampa with a crucifix bomb! He covers awkwardly, trapping the left arm. Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Tommaso Ciampa
Well, it was both short and good, so I’ll give them that.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 4:16
Backstage, Jackie is with Becky Lynch. She wonders if Becky has any second thoughts about the match tonight, just days ahead of Payback.
Becky says she has had many thoughts, but they’ve all been about whoopin Zoey’s ass. Is this the easy way out, no? But she doesn’t want the easy way out.
Unortunately, I missed the segment with Rhea and Raquel. Essentailly, Rhea cut a promo and trie to hit a Riptide off the distraction to Raquel, but Raquel wouldn’t let it happen, and they meet this Saturday.
Trish Stratus wants to be clear – Becky asked for this match tonight. She’s got herself to blame. Zoey Stark says she will leave plenty of Becky for Trish and the steel cage.
Terry Funk’s turn to be memorialized.
Falls Count Anywhere
Becky Lynch vs Zoey Stark
Becky has a kendo stick, and she is beatin some ass as soon as rthe bell ring. Side Russian Leg Sweep with the stick. Cover. 1..NO! Becky pulls back on the stick, Zoey reaches for the ropes, but it doesn’t matter. Zoey slides outside, Becky follows her around the ring. But Trish is here with the stick! She attacks Becky! Big hit, another, Zoey lifts ecky, she hops to the apron, kicks back. To the top rope, she punches Trish. Becky flies off the 2nd rope onto Zoey. Becky tries to head under the apron but Zoey smacks her with a kendo stick and sends her into the steps. Zoey on the apron. Becky with right hands .Spin kick from Zoey. She springboards. Missile dropkick off the top rope. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!
Trish pulls a shitload of chairs out from under the ring. She tosses a bunch into the ring. One hits Zoey. Haha. Zoey piles the chairs up, grabs Becky by the head. Becky fights back, Zoey corners Becky. Sits her up top. Right hand to Becky. Zoey climbs up, locks the head, Becky fights her off. Zoey tumbles to the apron sloppily. Trish climbs up the steps and holds onto Becky’s leg, allowing Zoey to recover .Right hands from Zoey. Leg drop from Becky onto the draping Zoey! Cover for 1..2.NO!! Becky tries for the Disarmer, but Zoey drops her face first onto the chairs. Zoey grabs Becky, tries for Z360, but Becky reverses. Manhandle Slam! Cover! 1..2..NO!! Trish stops the pin! Becky is pissed. She leaves the ring and chases Trish around the ring. Trish grabs a kendo stick. Sh swings, Becky catches it. Kick to Trish. Big hit to the back of Trish. Again. Another. She chases Trish up the ramp with shots from the stick over and over and over. Zoey is up there too, though, and she has a chair! A big hit to the back, then the stomach. Cover for 1..2.NO!!!
WE ARE BACK and Becky hits a sort of Samoan Drop onto the barricade outside. She rolls Zoey into the ring and goes for a table. The crowd LOVES this. Becky sets up the table, but Zoey slides through the ropes with a baseball slide. Zoey breaks the table down and toses it aside, saying the crowd does not deserve it. She send Becky into the ring, Zoey hangs her up by the arm on the op rope. Zoey with the chair. She attacks the back, again. Zoey drags Becky over to the corner, lays a chair across her chest, then springboards into a flip onto Becky and the chair. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Zoey drags Becky over to the pile of chairs, and lays another one onto Becky. Zoey climbs to the top. Becky is up. She tosses the chair into the face of Zoey. Becky climbs the ropes, locks the head, superplex onto the chairs! Cover! 1..2….NO!!! Becky goes for the table. She clears it of then rolls Zoey onto it. Becky locks up for a Manhandle Slam. Zoey elbows out, Trish is back! She drops Becky! Zoey grabs her head. Big knee to Becky’s face. Cover! 1..2…..NO!!!! Zoey with some kicks against the steps. She climbs atop the barricade, but Becky shoves her off then tosses Trish across the table.
In the timekeepers’ area, Becky slams Zoey onto a box, then climbs another one nearby. Trish is there to stop her and she hits a Bulldog through a table! Trish calls for Zoey to come cover. Zoey is crawling her way over. She drags her over. Zoey covers. 1..2…NO!!!! Zoey and Trish walk Becky though t he crowd. We are near another table. They send Becky into some boxes, then climb them, and look for a double bulldog onto the table! Becky elbows out, sends Zoey flying.
Kick to Trish, another, Manhandl—NO!!! Zoey back up! She elbows Becky! Zoey shoves, Becky side steps, and Trish is sent through a table! Zoey is shocked! Becky grabs her. MANHANDLE SLAM THROUGH THE TABLE!
Winner: Becky Lynch
A little sloppy to start, with Zoey really looking like she had no clue what to do in a FCA match, but it got better as time went on, and had a pretty solid ending.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 16:38
EnD Show
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