wrestling / TV Reports
Cook’s AEW Revolution 2024 Review
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...Hey kids! Steve Cook back here with you for All Elite Wrestling’s latest PPV offering. Revolution 2024 should end up being one of the most important and talked about shows of the year, if for no other reason than Sting’s last match. There are some other things going on tonight, but we all know what everybody’s here to see. Can anybody steal the show? Let’s find out together!
The Wrestle Aunts host the Zero Hour. Renee Paquette & RJ City are here with us. Tony Schiavone is joined at ringside by David Crockett! So happy he’s here for this.
Excalibur & Nigel McGuinness are ringside for the Zero Hour matches. Dasha is our ring announcer.
Bang Bang Scissor Gang (Anthony Bowens, Max Caster, Austin Gunn, Billy Gunn, Colten Gunn & Jay White) vs. Jeff Jarrett, Isiah Kassidy, Jay Lethal, Willie Mack, Marq Quen & Satnam Singh (w/Sonjay Dutt & Karen Jarrett): Max botches yet another rap! Anthony at least lands his mike work. Isiah & Austin Gunn start off. Isiah hits a kick and does a shot taunt. Austin has his own shot taunt. Tag to Colten. Kassidy gets out of the ring quick and tags Quen. Colten gets the advantage, tags Caster. Caster with a slam, tags Bowens, they hit the Scissor Me Timbers for two. Colten tags back in and becomes the face in peril. Jarrett tags in, gets some assistance from his wife and does the Fargo Strut. Lethal tags in, hits some quick moves and tags in Mack. Mack powers Colten down and tags Quen in. Quen hits a kick and tags Kassidy in, but there’s a malfunction at the junction and Bowens tags in. Bowens hits a famouser, but Lethal hits a Combination and Quen covers for two. Singh tags in and throws Bowens around. Lethal in, hits a delayed vertical suplex. JJ comes in, hits a leg sweep, gets kicked on a backdrop attempt. JJ crotches himself, gets blockbusted by Bowens. Billy Gunn gets the tag and he goes ham on these people. Mack stuns him, Lethal hits a cutter, Kassidy hits a swanton, Quen with a 450 & Billy kicks out. Mack misses off the top rope, and White gets the tag. Gunns hit the 310 to Yuma and it’s a finisher parade. Singh & White pair off. Singh throws some people around, but Billy hits the Famouser. White hits the Blade Runner to Mack and gets the win.
Winners: Bang Bang Scissor Gang (12:22 via pinfall)
Match Rating: ***
Jay White takes the mike and tells us that Greensboro is one of his favorite cities in the world, and has some of the best wrestling fans in the world. He runs down the card and pumps up his company. He reminds us who he is. He might handle some Big Business of his own on March 13, but until then he’s got two words for us, Gunns up!
Lexy Nair is with Doc Sampson, Orange Cassidy & the Best Friends. OC wants his friends to stay in the back so they don’t get hurt.
The Bastard Pac is on his way back! About damn time!
Tony & David are back at ringside and talking about special things happening. I like how David shrugs off his mispronouncing “Bucks” by saying “that’s what I call them”.
Willow Nightingale & Kris Statlander (w/Stokely Hathaway) vs. Skye Blue & Julia Hart: Big Stoke joins Excalibur & Nigel at the table, which might be for the best given his recent efforts. Willow & Kris work Skye over early. Kris runs into a boot, arm drags Julia when she tags in and slams her. Willow & Kris suplex Julia & Skye for a two count. Kris hits a back suplex on Julia for two. Julia targets the knee of Willow, and Skye follows the lead. Willow hit a big chop on Julia and Julia wasted no time tagging out. Kris gets the tag and noggin knocks the heels. Senton on both girls gets a two count. Julia with a Northern lariat on Kris, Kris rolls out of Julia’s submission attempt for a two count. Skye gets slammed down by Willow & Kris. Willow hits the Stampede on Julia, then a DVD gets two. Kris gets kicked down on the floor. Skye gets tagged in and kicks Willow a minute afterward for two. Kris & Julia tag in and tee off on each other. Julia goes up top, hits the moonsault but Willow breaks up the count. Julia goes after Kris’s arm while Skye takes Willow out on the outside. Willow tags back in, pounces Skye! Kris takes Julia out, Willow hits the Doctor Bomb on Skye and that’s three!
Winners: Willow Nightingale & Kris Statlander (13:31 via pinfall)
Match Rating: ***
Cook’s AEW Revolution 2024 Review
Excalibur & Nigel are joined by Tony Schiavone at ringside.
AEW TNT Championship Match: Christian Cage (c) (w/Killswitch, Mother & Nick Wayne) vs. Daniel Garcia: Aubrey has her hair looking good tonight. Not saying anything, just noting things. Garcia shoulderblocks Christian down, so he goes outside to talk with his family. Back in the ring, Christian works an ankle injury and nobody buys it other than Nigel, but Christian gets an eye poke out of it. Christian works him over afterwards, and flexes like he’s Lex Luger or something. Daniel fights back for a minute but gets dumped outside, then Christian dives onto him on the floor. Garcia fights out of the Killswitch and targets Christian’s knee. Anklelock lasts a second or so before Garcia gets tossed to the floor. Garcia gets tossed to the floor again, then gets knocked off the apron. Christian wants a countout. Garcia gets his head knocked off the ringpost. Nick Wayne charges Garcia and gets backdropped over the rail. Dasha fortunately was well out of the way. Back in the ring, Garcia pulls Christian’s turtle neck over his head and gets punched while Garcia dances. Sunset flip & rollup get 2s for Garcia. Christian gets tossed over the steps Cactus Jack style. Backbreaker gets two for Christian back in the ring. Christian tries a top rope move, but Garcia goes to an ankle lock. Back suplex by Garcia gets two. Christian monkey flips Garcia into the corner, and Killswitch hits a chokeslam while Aubrey is distracted. A frog splash gets a two count for Christian. At ringside, Daddy Magic emerges and fights to the back with Killswitch. Garica hits a piledriver on Christian for two! Garica gets another nearfall on Christian, Nick Wayne with some interference and a Killswitch gets a three count.
Winner: Christian Cage (16:47 via pinfall)
Match Rating: ***
Lexy Nair lets us know that Bryan Danielson is 100% focused.
Continental Crown Championship Match: Eddie Kingston (c) vs. Bryan Danielson: Tony lets us know we won’t see any outside interference in this match like we did in the last one. Renee tells us that Eddie dedicates this match to Jun Akiyama. Fans are pretty deep into their Eddie & Bryan fandom here. I will never get tired of Nigel burying Bryan on commentary. Eddie fights back with some chops to make Bryan’s chest red. Saito suplex sends Bryan outside. Kingston with a dive to the floor! On the apron, Bryan evades a chop, Eddie hits the ringpost, then gets suplexed to the floor! The fans already think this is awesome 5 minutes in. Bryan works the wrist & fingers of Eddie back in the ring. Bryan tries a top rope move, gets caught & exploded by Eddie. Eddie hits a DDT for 2, then goes to the Stretch Plum. Bryan fights out of it by targeting Eddie’s weak hand. Eddie reverses into some elbows. Danielson hits a hard kick in the corner. He misses in the corner but comes back quickly. Dragon suplex gets two. Eddie gets placed on top, Bryan keeps getting knocked off but keeps coming back. Bryan hits a butterfly suplex off the top, then goes for the LeBell Lock, can’t get that but an armbar works in the meantime. King finds the ropes. Bryan goes to the repeated elbows. Eddie fights out of the Regalplex and hits some kicks. Snow Plow gets a two count for Kingston! Backfist to the Future kind of grazes Bryan, who hits a Busiaku knee for two! Bryan now tries to kick Eddie’s head in. Triangle sleeper, which beat Eddie recently. But not now, to the delight of Nigel & the fans. Eddie’s feet find the ropes. Bryan goes to the Yes kicks. Eddie puts his straps down and invites some more. Bryan blocks one half & half suplex but not the second. Some shots traded. Bryan gets the early upper hand, Eddie fights back, clotheslines out of the Busiaku knee attempt, hits the high stack powerbomb and gets threeeeeeee!
Winner: Eddie Kingston (19:43 via pinfall)
Match Rating: ***1/2
Eddie wants the handshake, and Nigel informs us all of how much the handshake means to Ring of Honor, and how Bryan helped build that company. Bryan actually does shake hands, to the shock of Nigel, Excalibur & myself.
All-Star Scramble Match: Chris Jericho vs. Wardlow (w/Adam Cole, Mike Bennett & Matt Taven) vs. Powerhouse Hobbs vs. Lance Archer (w/Jake Roberts) vs. Hook vs. Brian Cage vs. Magnus vs. Dante Martin: Taz joins Excalibur & Tony at the desk, which is merely a coincidence that it happens during Hook’s entrance. I find myself relating more to Jericho’s theme as the years go by, which probably isn’t a great sign. Things break down immediately after the bell as one would expect, then we get some flexing from the big boys. Some meat chants from the fans, who at least appreciate the meat they’re getting to see. Wardlow & Archer pair off. Archer walks the ropes, hits the moonsault! Hobbs runs into a boot. Archer walks the ropes again, but Hobbs turns it into a spinebuster. Cage takes Hobbs out, thwen Wardlow takes Cage out! Codebreaker by Jericho on Wardlow gets two, and everybody comes back in and break things down. Mini Meat! Jericho dives onto Hobbs on the otuside. Martin dives, Hobbs dives, Hook stands tall. Hook goes up top, hits a double axehandle on Cage a la Macho Man ooooh yeah! Now we got people mounting turnbuckles and hitting suplexes. Dante’s frog splash at the end of all that gets two. Dante gets held up by the ropes and still kinda hits people on the outside. Magnus with a 619 then a cutter for two. Double knees in the corner, but Magnus gets met by Archer, who hip tosses him off the top. Choke slam gets two. Jericho blocks the Black Out and helps Magnus suplex Archer. Double Lionsaults get two. Hobbs powerslams Archer, then Martin eats one for two. Hook & Cage face off. Wardlow suplexes people. Cage get set up for a powerbomb but Hook locks in the Redrum on Wardlow! Jericho turns all that into a Walls of Jericho! Cage kicks Jericho out of that. Hook suplexes Cage, and Hook & Jericho face off. Northern Lights gets two! Hobbs tosses Hook out and goes after Jericho. That doesn’t last long. Hobbs slams Jericho on the floor. Hobbs then runs into a fog machine via Jericho? Well that was something. Wardlow hits a powerbomb on Cage, but gets rolled up by Martin for two. Archer back in there, eats a Red Eye moonsaut from Martin for two. Wardlow & Hook go at it, Hook eats a clothesline. Wardlow hits a Last Ride powerbomb on Martin for three.
Winner: Wardlow
Match Rating: **3/4
AEW International Championship Match: Orange Cassidy (c) vs. Roderick Strong (w/Matt Taven & Mike Bennett): Justin Roberts joins us on ring announcing duty for this one. OC has a lot of tape on him but that’s nothing new Taven & Bennett leave before the bell. Both guys go for early finishes. Strong hits a backbreaker & Cassidy rolls outside so he can get chopped & suplexed on the barricade. OC blocks a suplex on the apron and dives onto Strong on the outside. Back in the ring, Strong takes advantage and hits multiple backbreakers. A cover gets two. OC fights back while on the apron, but not enough that Strong can’t backbreak him on the top turnbuckle. A very impressive move indeed. Strong stretches OC on the ringpost. Roddy with some lazy kicks back in the ring. Some chops to Orange. OC passes out before absorbing another chop, but that’s a mind game. Some reversals into stunners and backbreakers lead into a Stronghold. OC finds the ropes pretty quickly. Roddy goes back to that Stronghold, but OC fights out. Tornado DDT by OC, he goes up top and hits another DDT for two. OC with some stomps to Strong, he goes to the second rope and hits the Panama Sunrise for two! Tried to beat the man with his best friend’s move, so insulting. Strong hits a backbreaker, but eats an Orange Punch. Beach Break is hit, but Roddy is so close to the ropes and he breaks the count. Roddy hits the End of Heartache and we have a new International Champion!
Winner: Roderick Strong (12:42 via pinfall)
Match Rating: ***1/2
KYLE O’REILLY IS HERE TO JOIN THE UNDISPUTED KINGDOM! OR MAYBE NOT? Maybe he just wants a shot at the International Championship. Well that’s a kick in the knickers.
FTR (Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler) vs. Blackpool Combat Club (Jon Moxley & Claudio Castagnoli): Dax & Claudio start things off. We get a BCC/FTR dueling chant, which is pretty amazing to me. Dax & Claudio trade shots. Mox & Cash tag in and Dean Martin references are made on commentary. Claudio gets double teamed by FTR. I like how Cash does the Sandman sell after he hits somebody. Then he gets sent off the turnbuckle onto the apron and the LED board. Mox sees somebody on the floor and takes advantage of all that. Back in the ring, Mox tries to tie Cash into knots and Dax breaks that up. This match works much better than their previous match because the teams know their roles now. FTR are the faces, BCC are the heels. Sounds simple, but the previous match didn’t send the same message. Dax gets the tag and delivers some punishment to CC & Mox. Cash tags in, misses his double team move and gets clotheslined for two. Dax got busted open on the steps. Claudio hits a powerslam off of Cash’s shoulders on Dax and gets two, shades of the Steiners vs. Anderson/Eaton in 92. Dax gets worked over by the BCC. Dax gets a nearfall on Mox, then there’s a spike piledriver! That gets 2, so I don’t know what FTR can do here. We get a Doomsday Device with an uppercut from Claudio getting 2, so I don’t know what those boys can do either. Claudio blocks the Big Rig, Mox hits a cutter, Claudio does the Swing and somehow that doesn’t end this thing. Mox & Dax up on the turnbuckle, some elbows. Cash joins them, they hit a big move for two, then the Big Rig gts two. Claudio hits the Neutralizer on the floor. Dax piledrives Claudio on the floor. Mox & Dax trade finishers in the ring. Mox chokes Dax out, and Claudio chokes Cash out to prevent him from interfering.
Winners: Jon Moxley & Claudio Castagnoli (21:47 via submission)
Match Rating: ***1/2
AEW Women’s World Championship Match: “Timeless” Toni Storm (c) (w/Mariah May & Luther) vs. Deonna Purrazzo: Mariah teases us with some old school Toni, but that obviously isn’t happening. They trade holds to start. Deonna gains control with a headscissors, Toni works out gets into the corner, pulls the hair, Deonna goes to the arm & Toni finds the ropes. Shots are traded. Deonna with a kick & clothesline, Toni goes to the floor & her butler. Deonna kicks Toni down & rolls her back in the ring. Aubrey no-sells a ref bump, which is kind of weird. Toni goes to work on Deonna. Deonna pops up at various moments but it’s a lot of Toni “offense” at this point. Some slaps are traded. Deonna fights back. Leg sweep into a Fujiwara armbar. Toni rolls out. Deonna hits a modified Blade Runner for two. She gets tripped into the turnbuckle, and Toni hits the hip attack. DDT gets a 2 count. Toni goes to the ankle lock. Deonna fights out and kicks Toni to the apron. Toni gets kicked into Luther’s arms, then Deonna dives onto both of them. Back into the ring, the armbar is locked in. Toni reverses into a cover for two. The Venus De Milo gets locked in! Luther distracts Aubrey, Mariah distracts, Storm hits the Storm Zero and retains her title.
Winner: Toni Storm (12:17 via pinfall)
Match Rating: **1/2
Will Ospreay vs. Konosuke Takeshita: Don Callis joins Excalibur & Tony on commentary. Ospreay takes advantage early hitting a rana after some back & forth. Takeshita fights back quickly, hits a superplex for one. So this is where we’re going. Senton by Takeshita gets the same count after some work. Some chops are traded. Ospreay with the abdominal stretch, Takeshita kicks out of that, but eats an Ospreay top rope elbow strike. To the outside, Ospreay with a dive. Back suplex by Ospreay gets 1. Takeshita fights back, kicks Ospreay out of the ring and hits a dive. Back in the ring, Will blocks a senton, goes up top and misses a top rope move, Takeshita hits a bridging German suplex for two. Ospreay counters into a suplex for two. The fans are into these guys beating the crap out of each other, and Don is too. Will gets the advantage for a minute, forearms Takeshita down. Bryce checks on him, says he’s ok. Takeshita fights back and Ospreay eats a couple of forearms before getting shot down. Some reversals lead to a Tiger Driver my Ospreay for two. Takeshita hits a spinning Blue Thunder bomb for two. This is what these people want to see! Os Cutter blocked one time, not the second time, but that gets two. Takeshita blocks the Hidden Blade with a big clothesline for two. Some trading on the turnbuckle leads to Ospreay missing a rana and getting brain busted on the top turnbuckle. That gets two. Big knee strike by Takeshita gets two. Ospreay has a huge bruise on his lower back. Ospreay blocks a knee, blocks a suplex into a stunner and hits a poison rana. Takeshita with a driver, Ospreay with a suplex I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON HERE! Takeshita clotheslines Ospreay out of his boots, Ospreay with a Styles Clash for two? Ospreay hits a Tiger Driver 91, then the Hidden Blade! That gets 3!
Winner: Will Ospreay (21:50 via pinfall)
Match Rating: ****1/2
Kyle Fletcher comes down to hug Will Ospreay as we find out they will wrestle each other on Dynamite.
AEW World Championship Match: Samoa Joe (c) vs. “Hangman” Adam Page vs. Swerve Strickland (w/Prince Nana): Jim Ross joins Excalibur & Tony for this match and presumably the match afterward because Sting. The bell rings and Joe smacks Hangman down. Avoids a Swerve dive, then dives onto him on the floor. Hangman dives into a Joe kick. Joe gets knocked out of the ring, Hangman hits the Last Call on Swerve, which is no-sold. Swerve kicks Page down. Swerve elbows Page in the back, then hits Joe in the head on the floor. Belly to Belly by Page gets two! Joe back in the ring, he punches Page down and washes his face. Powerbomb into the STF. Swerve breaks it up and trades shots with Joe. Joe knocks Swerve to the floor, but then gets confused and gets powerbombed to the mat by Swerve & Page. Swerve & Page go after each other as one would expect. Swerve with some moves of doom but Joe breaks up the count. Joe hits the Musclebuster, Swerve hits the stomp! Swerve kicks Joe, but wants to knock Hangman out. There’s a House Call for two. Swerve goes after Joe, hits a DDT out of the corner. 450 to Joe’s back, but Swerve can’t cover. Goes for the stomp, hits it! Hangman pulls Paul Turner out of the ring! Hangman hits Swerve with the AEW Championship! Knocks Swerve to the floor! Hits the Buckshot Lariat on Joe! One more Buckshot! That only gets two! Page goes for another Buckshot, Joe locks in a choke and Swerve breaks that up. Nana gives Swerve a foreign object, Swerve turns it down! Meanwhile, Page beats the referee down and tosses him out of the ring! What are we doing here? Suplexes all to hell! Joe locks in the choke on Page, and the Hangman taps out!
Winner: Samoa Joe (19:43 via submission)
Match Rating: ***3/4
AEW World Tag Team Championship Tornado Tag Match: Sting & Darby Allin (c) (w/Ric Flair) vs. Matthew & Nicholas Jackson: RICKY THE DRAGON STEAMBOAT IS THE SPECIAL TIMEKEEPER! LET’S GO! Also, with this entrance video buildup, you really don’t need to do too much. Surfer & Wolfpac Sting appear on the stage. Seek & Destroy plays. My feed breaks so I know that this shit is good.THIS IS THE LEGEND, THIS IS THE ICON, THIS IS STING! Darby immediately hurled himself at the Jacksons. Sting’s sons get some payback. A double Scorpion deathlock gets broke by the heartless Jacksons. They get sent over various barricades. Darby hits a Coffin Drop because why not. Sting finds a pane of glass under the ring. I didn’t know I was covering John Zandig’s retirement match but here we are. Darby gets Falcon Arrowed off the stage so he might not be useful for a few minutes. Matthew suplexes Sting off the stage! We’re finally in the ring, and Darby gets powerbombed into the ladder. Darby fights back because that’s who he is. He dives through glass that theoretically the Jacksons were in front of at some point. Good Lord. Sting is back in the ring. The Bucks try to suplex him, he fights it off. The Bucks miss in the corner. Sting gets driven through a table and is like “F all y’all”. Gets driven through a pane of glass, a death drop gets 2. Steamboat gets involved, throws a chop and it looks good! Ric Flair goes into the ring to check on Sting! Flair doesn’t want any more harm to come to his biggest rival, but the Bucks kick Flair out of the ring, and they kick Steamboat one more time. Sting kicks out at 2! The Jacksons line Sting up again. Superkicks, Sting no-sells! Clotheslines! Death Drop gets two! EVP Trigger on Sting gets two! Another one gets a one count, Sting laughs! Some more superkicks from the Jacksons. They go for the TK Driver, Darby breaks it up! Near-fall leads to another Coffin Drop and a Scorpion Deathlock! SEEK AND DESTROY!
Winners: Darby Allin & Sting (21:32 via submission)
Match Rating: ****
Sting & Darby thank Greensboro. Sting has been thanking Greensboro since 1988, and Ric. He wanted this to be a night that wrestling fans will never forget, and he won’t forget it. He knew the first time he saw Darby that he was a risk taker, and Sting is also a risk taker, and that’s where the feed gets cut off.
