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Survivor Series was last night, and although I didn’t get to watch it, we had three great reviews on the site! Be sure to check them out! We don’t talk much, but I love my fellow writers! Will we learn what has become of the golden egg? Will Vinnie Mac show up? Is The Rock scheduled to appear? I DON’T FREAKIN KNOW!!!!!
It’s Monday…you know what that means.
We start RAW with Vince tapping his fingers, staring at a seated Pearce and Deville, with the empty egg container in between them.
Vince is mad, live, after a recap, to talk about how The Rock gave it to him. Someone stole something from him. He’s pissed. Sonya says she interviewed every single supervisor, called “The Authorities,” and nobody knows anything.
Vince says that if he doesn’t get his egg by the end of the night, he’s going to let both of them go. Lol. Talk about tone-deaf. Vince offers a reward to the person who brings the culprit: that person will face Big E for the title.
Randy is asked of Riddle’s whereabouts. Riddle says the dude can get lost in his own house, but it’s not like him to miss a match. He brings up winning last night, and now that Riddle listens, no one can stop them, but he doesn’t know where he is and it’s not like…
Riddle walks up…HE CUT HIS HAIR AND GOT A GOATEE AND MUSTACHE!!!!
He faces Dolph soon and cuts an Orton-like promo. Orton stands there, staring, then screams “enough.” He said “be like me,” not “be me, mirror me.” Riddle says it’s too late, he’s hearing voices, hit Randy’s music.
Riddle walks out slowly to Orton’s music, and he’s in action…next.
Riddle is also wearing Orton-like trunks.
A recap of Orton’s sweet RKO from last night is shown.
Match 1: Matt Riddle vs Dolph Ziggler
They start off with what should be chain wrestling, but just looks sloppy. Break. They try again, and Ziggler floats behind the back wit a cradle. 1…2.NO!!! Both men up, lockup! Riddle flies with an armbar, but Ziggler turns it into a pin for 1….NO! Riddlw works the left arm, ref breaks him as he is on the ropes. Elbow from Ziggler! Dropkick to Riddle! Ziggler removes the goatee and mustache then whips Riddle into the corner. Riddle backflips over Ziggler, kicks Ziggler in the gut, then deadlifts Ziggler, and spins a good ten times before gutwrenching and suplexing Ziggler. Ziggler rolls to the outside as Randy applauds his partner. Riddler launches himself over the top rope. Superkick from Ziggler!!!
We are back after a break, and Riddle hits some hard forearms in the corner, another run and hit, a third is thwarted by Ziggler. “Thwarted.” What a funny word. Riddle hits a powerslam ala Orton, sending Ziggler to the apron. Riddle grabs Ziggler and pulls his head through the ropes. He’s looking for the DDT! Ziggler with a back body drop, sends Riddle outside. He runs back in and Ziggler hits a Fameasser! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Ziggler with a punch to the face. Riddle fires back. Ziggler now. Riddle with another. Ziggler hits nother, stands, eats one, hits another, they go back and forth with some boo/yay help. Ziggler with a boot scrape to the face. Ziggler goes for a superkick, Riddle spins Ziggler, hits a high knee.
Riddle calls for the RKO, making sure not to break his hand. He hits an RKO! Cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Matt Riddle
I mean, it was decent enough opener, and the crowd was into it.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 9:26
Roode runs in, Orton punches him, then hits Riddle’s finisher on Roode!!!
The tag team champs celebrate, then we head backstage where….
Rhea Ripley and a bunch of jobbers are tearing up a room by flipping over chairs and tables. R-Truth finds a football, saying he’s found the egg, then walks into a restroom where someone is, presumably, changing.
That made zero sense….
Becky Lynch is here!
After a commercial, we come back to a scowling Becky. She says hello to Brooklyn, brings up 3 years ago when she was standing here, slapping Charlotte Flair across the face. Last night, that as a culmination of almost a decade of love and hate. She came out wanting to hurt Charlotte, and Charlote wanted the same. But we people loved every second of it. We didn’t care who won, or if either of them walked out at all.
Becky wants to know who, that’s fresh and new, would we like to see on top? Rhea? Maybe Bianca? How about Liv Morgan? Theey all get cheers. Becky finds this funny, she used to put so much stock in our opinion til she realized we are all full of crap. We say we want something fresh and new, but she saw 10 women break their backs to impress us and we chanted and sang our stupid little songs. Nice. Love that.
This hurts her to say this, but she agrees, because none of the ten have what it takes to beat her. Oh, we like her now because she’s the underdog? Because she’s won one match in four years, and we will all bitch and moan when she doesn’t beat her – because she won’ beat becky. Not every under dog has its day, and no one is getting the title off of her.
Recap of Bianca bien a beast last night.
She gets a short promo off before her upcoming match with Tamina.
Match 2: Tamina vs Bianca Belair
Apparently, this is big time different than last week because Natalya is here. Bianca with a couple of dropkicks, a third kick, a suplex and a kip up. Belair springboards into a moonsault and a cover for 1..2.NO!!! Big boot out of the corner from nataly, she rolls through, hops up on the corner, but Tamina pulls out the boot of Bianca. Superkick and a Samoan Drop from Tamina! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Tamina kicks in the corner over and over. Ref stops her at 3. Tamina backs up, runs with a but splash. She pulls Bianca into a cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tamina cinches the head. Bianca breaks the head but runs into an elbow fro mTamina. Tamina grabs the head, whips to the corner. Bianca moves and Tamina hist the post.
Bianca kicks her face into the ringpost. Bianca lifts Tamina for KOD. Hits it! Cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Bianca Belair
So….basically, what we saw last week.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:54
Natalya attacks from behind. Bianca kicks her away. Bianca is both confused and offended. From behind ,Piper attacks Bianca, then hits the ropes and hits a crossbody.
Seth Rollins is out next and cuts the same promo Bianca does.
The crowd chants along to Seth’s music. Brooklyn still got it.
Seth says the best part is that he won last night all by himself. The rest of his team were eliminated.
Finn comes out near the end of Seth’s little speech. Finn tries to make his full entrance, but Seth sends him flying, then attacks on the outside! He sends Finn flying over the table, then stomps Finn in the corner. Seth grabs the steps and smacks Finn across the face with it! Some people are still singing along to Seth’s entrance. Seth grabs Finn, sends him into the ring, slides in. STOMP TO FINN!!! Seth leaves the ring, stops, turns, he’s not done. He re-enters the ring. Another stomp to Finn!!!
As Seth is walking up the ramp, he’s attack by someone in red sweatpants! We switch cams quickly to Finn in the ring, and commentary makes no mention of this! What the hell..??? WE get a replay of what just happened. When we return, Seth is smiling with blood in his mouth at the top of the ramp.
Lol. What in the world….
WE head backstage where…um….everyone is running in the same direction.
Sami Zayn is seated with Vince. Vince tells him to knock first. Sami said he did. He has some information about the egg. Sami is 95% sure. Vince says Sami is so full of crap, “all the time.” Lol. Sami says the culprit is not here yet, but he will bring him to Vince. Sami is on it. He offers a handshake, Vince will not comply.
A fan just jumped the rail and attacked Seth Rollins!
Security was all over it. Michael Hayes appeared too. pic.twitter.com/LtJK2CoWwu
— Alex McCarthy (@AlexM_talkSPORT) November 23, 2021
Dawkins has a duffle bag full of something. Ford hands over a red cup to Corey Graves and cheers him.
Backstaage, Owens is looking for the egg in a much more realistic way than the other goons.
Sarah walks up to Owens asking what he thought about Seth’s words. Owens says he wasn’t listening, he was busy looking for an egg. He says if he isn’t fortunate enough to bring the egg back, he can’t wait to see who does – he has great interest in who walks out of tonight the champion.
Back to the ring, and we still don’t know what’s in the bag. Tonight is just full of mystery.
Match 3: AJ Styles and Omos vs The Street Profits
Ford is quick to hit a tackle to AJ. Tag from Dawkins, who hits a tackle of his own. He flips Ford onto the body of AJ. Dawkins grabs AJ, he and Ford whip AJ, AJ holds onto the ropes and tags in Omos. Ford opts to leave the ring. He and Dawkins make a game plan.
We are back and AJ has Dawkins locked under his arm. He drops an elbow, another, a third. AJ tries to swipe Ford, but ford is too fast. Kick from Dawkins, double underhook. Silencer! Tag to Ford, who runs in and slaps Omos on the chest. He flies over AJ, hits a huge clothesline, AJ sells it like death. Ford lifts AJ, Aj with a right, left, right, back elbow, backs into a back suplex from Ford. Standing moonsault from Ford! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Ford to the top rope. He flies, lands on his fet, roll through, AJ grabs him, back body dro-no!!! Ford lands on his feet. Pele kick! AJ calls fro the end, Ford with a back body drop. Omos gets the tag. Ford turns. Omos takes his time getting in the ring. Ford readies for a fight. He tries fo ra crossbody, but Omos stands tall. He grabs Ford, Ford breaks it, chops over and over in the chest, high kick to the head of Omos. Nice. Omos hits a huge clothesline. Enter Dawkins, who gets sent right back out by Omos. He turns back to Ford who is shook up.
WE see Dawkins near the steps, and we see what’s in the bag. It’s a fire extinguisher. That’s hella anticlimactic. The ref calls for the DQ after Dawkins spraws Omos.
Winners: AJ Styles and Omos
Lol….wow.
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 8:12
Backstage, Carmella and Zelinaare complimenting each other. Carmella cackles so you know she’s heel.
They are not worried about Nikki and they will overpower Rhea with their Royal Beauty.
Coming to RAW soon… Veer Mahaan Sal Mubarak Khali Ariya
Match 4: WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Match
Rhea Ripley and Nikki A.S.H. vs Zelina Vega and Carmella
The bell rings, but before we can get to any action, Mella must put on her mask. She does so as Rhea waits for her. Rhea leaves the ring and kicks Carmella in the stomach then stares Zelina down (up). Rhea hits a short clothesline, another, ripcord punch and a snapmare. Rhea hits the ropes, dropkick to the side of the face. Tag to Zelina. She comes in and rushes the leg, but Rhea is too strong. She lifts Zelina up, Zelina screams. Rhea tosses her aside. Rhea stops Zelina from getting a tag. Zelina tries to crawl under, Rhea holds the ankle, Zelina kicks her away. Rhea turns into a slap. Rhea with a headbutt. She sits Zelina on the shoulders. Zelina punches out, turns, tries for a hurricanrana, Rhea holds onto her and shoots her up, but Zelina hits a surprise DDT! Pin for 1..NO!! Zelina attacks from behind, locks in a chokehold, sits on the back of Rhea, and Nikki gets a tag. She sends Mella off the apron, flies to the corner, hits the ropes. Clothesline to Zelina. Whip to the corner, a splash in th corner. Nikki to the 2nd rope. She beats down with the 10 punches. Running bulldog. Nikki locks th head. Swinging neckbreaker. In for 1.2..NO!!! Carmella comes in and slams her down face first. Rhea chases Carmella out of the ring and around as Zelina covers for 1..2.NO!!!! Rhea runs into the ring to stop the pin. Carmella with a kick to Rhea, sending her outside. Another kick sends Rhea into the ringpost. Nikki grabs Carmella rom above in the ring.
Zelina chokes Nikki up on the ropes. Ref holds her back, Mella with a cheapshot. CODE RED from Zelina. Cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: Zelina and Carmella
This means both jack and shit.
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues
Sonya is here with a smile, saying they know who took the egg. Adam is bringing him in right now.
We come back, and Sami is with Sonya and Adam.
In walks Austin Theory with the egg. Vince tells Sonya and Adam to leave. Sami and Theory take a seat. Vince asks why he did this. He used to have a promising career. Why?
Theory says he just wanted to take a selfie with the egg, so he took it with him to the hotel. Vince wants to see the selfie. Theory shows a shirtless selfie with the egg. Sami says this is disgusting behavior.
Vince says this took balls, he’s going to drop the charges. He reminds Theory a lot of Vince. In fact, Theory gets the title shot tonight. Theory takes a selfie with Vince. Theory leaves. Sami is pissed.
Vince tells Sami to shut up, because no one likes a snitch.
Match 5: 24/7 Championship Title Match
Cedric Alexander vs Reggie
Is Cedric wearing fangs? He plays the angry heel is Reggie fights him with a red and yellow vest.
Cedric gives him a hell of an ass-whooping before hitting the Lumbar Check and a pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Cedric Alexander
I just…
Total Rating: Nope
Match Time: Uh uh
Cedric sees the goons coming to the outside and looks to high tail it out, but Dana flies off the top rope with a blockbuster to Cedric and a pin for 1..2…3!!!
All the guys stare Dana down but will not touch her, so she celebrates in the corner, holding the title up high.
Bakstage, Dom apologizes for not helping Rey last week. Rey says he’s been doin this for a minute, and Lashley ain’t the only big guy he’s taken down. Taker, Kane, Batista, Hornswoggle. He can fight his own battles, he doesn’t need Dom to fight them for him. Tonight, he fights by Dom’s side, and he’s proud of it. Rey fights for for him, his family, and la raza. Lashley is scared. Let’s go out there and give him a Mysterio whoopin.
Dana Brooke cuts a promo sounding like Bobby Generic’s mother….
MVP has some words before the following match. MVP tells Rey he has so much respect for him, because despite his diminutive size, he has become a giant. But, as a father, he leaves much to be desired. Has he taken the time to teach Dominik that monsters are real? Rey has never defeated a monster the likes of Lashley. What will he do, as a father, when Dominik is in The Hurt lock, crying out for his papi. Rey will be powerless to do anything about it. Rey’s ego will get his child hurt. He’ll have to explain to his wife that his child is injured because of Rey’s ego, and when she is disgusted with Rey, tell her to call MVP. Lol.
Match 6: Dominik and Rey Mysterio vs Bobby Lashley
Dom attacks as soon as the bell rings, but Lashley drops him and stares Rey dow. Dom hops on the back, Lashley with a snapmare, then a Flatline. Lashley goes for a suplex; Dom escapes, tags in Rey. Rey with a dropkick. Tag to Dom. Dom in with stomps. Rey tags back in, more kicks in the corner. Right hands. Tag to Rey. More beatdown in th corner, another tag from Rey, and he atcks the legs then hits a shoulder. Lashley lifts Rey and takes him to the opposite side. Rey tries for a sunset, Lashley grabs his head, Rey escapes, hops off the top buckle, Lashley catches and hits a powerslam. Lashley waits, hooks one arm, dropkick off the top fom Dominik! He flies over the top rope to the outside and Lashley catches him! Damn. Fireman’s, and Lashley looks to send Dom into the post, but Rey flies from inside the ring!!!
WE come back and Lashley drops Dom then covers for 1..2..NO!!! Lashley sends Dom to the outside then follows. He lifts Dom and sends him into the ringpost! Lashley enters the ring. Rey goes to check on his kid. Lashley sends Dom into the barricade hard. Back in the ring, and Dom hits an enziguri! Lashley deadlifts, goes for a Big Ending, but Dom lands on his feet, drops Ashley, slaps for a tag! Rey in, ducks a clothesline, attacks the legs, kicks, slides under, hits the ropes, kicks Lashley, springboard moonsault, Dom in, spins Rey who was caught, gets a DDT and Dom is….the legal man?
Dom tries a sunset flip, but Lashley won’t drop. Rey flies off the top with a senton. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Drop toe hold and Lashley is against the ropes. Stereo 619! Dom to the top rope! He flies with a frog splash. Rey gets one, too! Cover for 1..2…..NO!!!!
Dom flies off the top rope….right into the Full Nelson!!!! Dom taps immediately!
Winner: Bobby Lashley
ok….
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 10:56
Big E gets some time on the mic, saying that last night, he let a lot of people down. He cant blame Heyman, The Usos, it’s all on him. Tonight is not about wallowing in slf-pity, though, because he has his hands full…of pears. He is still worried bout Rollins, Owens, and now Austin Theory. Kid is young, brash, talented. He thinks, though, that he will be leaving pretty good.
Priest is here.
Liv Morgan gets an interview, but is cut short by Becky who tells her that she under-delivered. Liv did nothing last night. It takes her back to MitB, where everyone was rooting or Liv, an she got up to the top and was inches away, but lost. Nikki cashed in, won the title. Liv says she is pretty sure she hold the title last night.
Becky tells Liv that she embarrassed everyone, including herself. She lost her friends, upset her momma. Oh, now she’s going to cry? She punches Becky square in the face. Lol. Nice.
Becky smirks as we head to the ring where Apollo Crews is making his entrance.
Commander Aziz, or whatever, commands that we all stand and applaud to our teardrop carrying Nigerian hero.
Crews asks Priest about his split-personality. Priest is ashamed of who he is. Apollo has embraced his true-self, though. That is why, when he fights Priest for the title, he will decimate Priest. He is more powerful than ever, he is a Nigerian warrior. He will show the entire world that Priest is not fit to be champion.
Priest cuts him off, says he doesn’t know if Crews realized that he’s in New York. Out here, if you wanna run your mouth and tell the world how they found each other, start a podcast – or shut your mouth and fight. If you wanna know the real Priest, they can fight now for the title.
Apollo calls him a funny guy. He says no.
Sami Zayn is here!
He calls this perfect from the top of the stage. First, the whole world gets to see that he was right the entire time, and that the conspiracy within the WWE targeting him runs all the way to the top. One door closes, though, and another opens. So if Apollo doesn’t want to accept the open challenge, then he will.
Match 7: United States Championship Match
Damian Priest vs Sami Zayn
They start on the outside, as Priest beats the taste out of Sami’s mouth before tossing him back in the ring. He follow, but Sami heads back out, only for Priest to follow and get an elbow to the face for his trouble. Exploder from Sami into the barricade.
We are back, and Priest is hittin some hard kicks, finishes with a punch, hits a hard back elbow in the corner, bounces off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, bell ringer, mises a right hand, and Sami hits a Blue Thunder Bomb! Pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Sami to the top rope. Priest with a huge kick to the face. Priest locks the head on the top rope, Sami bites his forehead. Priest bends over, and Sami hits a sunset bomb! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Priest with a huge punch. Sami kicks, Priest catches him, looks for The Reckoning, but Sami rolls him up for 1..2..NO!!!! Priest with a right hand, whip ,Sami holds on and heads outside. Priest grabs his hair, Sami hangmans his ass, then chokes Priest up till th ref hits 4. Sami grabs the title and turns to Priest. He holds the title on his shoulders and walks over to Priest. He shoves Priest in the face, and this causes the snap.
Priest goes full Vigo the Carpathian and hits The Reckoning. Pin for 1..2..3!!!
Winner: Damian Priest
I kinda miss Sami over here on the red show.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 8:50
Backstage, Theory is asked about his first title shot. So awesome, says he, and shows us the selfie with Vince. Tonight, he will become the youngest WWE Champion in history. He knows he just got here, no disrespect to Big E, he’s done a lot. Theory is the future, and the future is now.
Seth Rollins is ringside for the next match.
Match 8: WWE Championship Match
Big E vs Austin Theory
Theory tries for a rollup, gets 1..2.NO!!! He slaps Big E. Big E gives him a hell nah look and beats that ass with a few back elbows. Big E lifts Theory, sends him into the ropes, hits a back elbow. Big E drags Theory to the apron and beats him down on th chest to the tune of NEW DAYROCKS. Big splash on the apron.
Kevin Owen’s music hits!
Owens is out at th top of the ramp. Big E is ready. Owens tells Big E to pay attention to the ring. Big E misses a clothesline, Theory hits a back elbow, Theory lifts Big E and drops him on his knee! Nice. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Theory with a dropkick to Big E on the outside as Seth looks over to Owens, asking him wht he is doing out here. Crowd is still singing Seth’s music. Owens yells that this is a great match to watch up close, and we go to break.
We are back, and Theory’s got a cover for 1..2…NO!!! Theory with a right, another, another. He hits the rope. Big E locks him up and hits a huge belly to belly. Big E with another. Theory misses a right, and Big E hits a third belly to belly. Big E gyrates then hits the ropes. Big Splash, and Big E wants the en, he sets up for the Big Ending, Theory floats off, drop toe hold and E hits buckle! Theory rolls through the ropes and hits a dropkick! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Theory gts E on his shoulders, Big E lands on his feet, sends Theory to the corner, he hits a knee on the apron. STO out of the corner from big E!!!! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Both men to the outside. Big E shoots Theory back into the ring and points a warning and Owens and Rollins. Big E enters the ring, Seth attacks the ankle!!! Ref didn’t see. Theory rolls forward, shoots oer th head of Big E and hits a neckbreaker! Rollins looks to enter the ring, but Owens grabs Seth! They argue on the outside.
Theory looks on at both of them. Seth removes his jacket. Theory is completely distracted, turns, BIG ENDING!! 1….2….3!!!
Winner: Big E
The ending was never in question, but just like a bulk of the show tonight, there wasn’t really any reason for this to happen. They didn’t give Theory any time to impress anyone, and he was completely overshadowed by Owens and Rollins.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 9:16
Kevin Owens shoves Seth on the outside. Again. Big E attacks Seth from behind, sending him flying over the announce table. He sends Owens into the ring, but Owens leaves the ring quickly. Rollins in, Big E hits Big Ending to Seth! Big E stares down Owens.
End Show
