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Running a bar is hard. Running an entire restaurant is harder. Running a marathon, though….

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We start the show with Seth going over last night with a slide show of stomps. He speaks of his Pedigree, and a fourth stomp to finally keep the man down. Seth feels happy that the rematch is not happening any time soon. He didn’t have time to celebrate before he was cloaked in darkness and taken down by something he can only describe as…..

Crowd chants YOWIE WOWIE.

Seth says as he laid there, the last thing he saw was the face of The Fiend, Bray Wyatt. When he came to, and the lights were on, Bray was nowhere to be found. Good news is that he’ll take on Bray inside Hell in a Cell.

Firefly Funhouse music hits, and Bray is on the big screen .he says hello to the fireflies, then realizes Seth is in the ring. Oh his lucky stars. Bray is glad Seth’s here, and super glad that he is ok. Seth calls him a sick dude, but Seth gets cut off by the bunny who warns Seth to run. Bray laughs it off. He says there is no need for name calling. Poppycock. Mistakes happen. Seth should know. He’s made mistakes. A lot of them. Plenty of people have forgiven him, but just like he said last week – friends forgive, but he never forgets. Maybe that’s why He said hello at Clash. Who knows. He might even have more to say to Seth tonight. See ya in hell!

We get some graphics regarding tonight, but they’re all upside down. Renee calls that out loudly, and I’m not sure she was supposed to.

Braun is backstage, and he is here because the next guy to step foot in the ring is going to get these hands.

After a commercial, the new tag team champions of RAW come down to the ring. I presume Braun will come and eat them?

The Revival is out next, complete with their big blue belts. I predict bad things for this quadlet.

Roode says when he and Dolph decided to become a team, no one could believe it. Not even Cole. Dolph finds this hilarious. Roode says to take a good, hard look at greatness. Take a good, hard look at new RAW tag team —

And here’s Braun.

Revival attack him at the ramp, but Braun no sells it and right hands Dawson, then tosses Dash into the barricade. He heads to the ring and big boots Dolph. Braun leaves the ring and trucks through The Revival. He totally misses Dawson, pummels Dolph, then makes Roode so scared he runs up the ramp.

What the fuck was the point of that?

Nikki and Alexa are backstage talking bout their win, then bring up Sasha. They call Bayley pathetic, and they will show how true champions hold these titles, and the friendship that it takes to get there.

Tonight, Bliss and Cross vs Banks and Bayley.

The OC are here for some six man action. Pretty sure I’ve said that once before about Riley Reid.

Match 1: Cedric Alexander and The Viking Raiders vs The OC
Alexander and AJ to start. Cedric with a kick, lfits AJ and backs him up into the face corner. Tag to erik who hits a knee directly to the face of AJ. Tag from Anderson, who runs in and gets clotheslined. Whip and a missed right. Tag to ibar. Body slam to Anderson, then a double team body slam to Anderson. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Erik. Tag to Gallows. They try to make this moment epic. It’s not. Kick from Gallows. Gallows with blows to the back. Erik blocks some and gets a right, some high knees to Luke, whip is reversed, Erik hops over, rolls away, rushes the corner, hits knees to the corner, and Gallows sends Erik to the outside. AJ grabs him and sends him into the barricade as the ref is distracted. Anderson with a surprise attack as well.

Hahaha, y’all! I sat here for like an extra 5 minutes waiting for the show to come back before realizing that the stream changed to some slow ass cowboy movie.

Anyway, I come back to AJ hitting the forearm and getting the win.

Winner:

Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: *

Everyone brawls afterwards until Ibar hops on the top rope and front flips onto everyone, nearly missing everyone but the floor.

IN the ring, AJ is on the top rope. Cedric clips the legs. He attacks AJ on the top rope. Cedric climbs, beats AJ down some more. Over and over. AJ leans back in fatigue. Cedric locks the head and looks to flip AJ, but AJ with the surprise STYLES CLASH to Cedric!!!

Carmella and R-Truth tour University of Tennessee, and we get a nice little cameo by…..

KANE!

Truth doesn’t realize it right away, confusing him for Larry Bird. Kane drops his government and says that it’s an honor to have the 24/7 Champion in his presence. He wants to take Truth on a tour of Knoxville.

Next is the finals of the King of the Ring tournament, which somehow has lost its luster in as little as a week.

We are informed there is a Gender Reveal Party…fuck.

Match 2: Chad Gable vs Baron Corbin
Gable goes for the wrestling, picks the ankle, Corbin is able to strong arm him but Gable locks up behin.d Corbin with an elbow to break the hold. Corbin with a blow to the back. Stomps from Corbin. Elbow to the face. High knee to Gable. Gable picks the elbow again, then gets kicked away. He holds the ropes and Corbin tumbles outsid.e He runs back in the ring but Gable hits a huge dropkick. The crowd is firmly behind him. He leaves the ring, rushes Corbin, but Corbin hits him with a back body drop onto a chair in the timekeepers area!!

We come back, and Gable is facing death by clubbing. Corbin shoos the crowd with his hand then turns back to Gable, who is seated in the front of the struggle bus. Corbin lifts Gable by the chin and punches him right in the face. Cover from Corbin for 1…2..NO! Corbin demands a quicker count. Corbin drops some elbows onto the chest from above, then works the arm from behind. Gable crawls up Corbin’s body and hits a bunch of elbows to the face. Gable hits the ropes, Corbin falls back into the ropes. BIG BOOT! Corbin shouts then sends Gable into the ropes. Gable rolls through, picks the ankle, nearly locks it in, hits the face of Gable with a right. He rushes the corner and gets posted. Gable from the top with a dropkick to Corbin. Gable pulls himself up in the corner, rushes the opposite corner with a front flip boot to the face, he hits another one. A third doesn’t quite hit, so he goes one more, ut Corbin pushes him up in the air then powerslams him right back down and covers for 1..2…NO!!!

On the outside, Corbin sends Gable into the barricade. Again. Gable send him into it back first for the third time. Corbin rushes for another tackle, but Gable moves and Corbin eats the steps. Gable rolls into the ring nd the ref counts .He hits 7, then Corbin rolls into the ring. Gable rolls ut, grabbing the leg on the way, and swings it into the post. He grabs the left leg and swings it again. Gable slides in the ring. Running dropkick to the leg. Gable with some rights as he says, “You’re my size now.” Gable screams, hits the ropes, DEEP SIX! Cover for 1..2….NO!!! Corbin does the stupid slide through the ropes thing, but Gable dodges, locks up from behind, GERMAN!! Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Gable to the top rope. Moonsault, lands on his feet, Corbin with aa possible End of Days, Gable rolls through. ANKLE LOCK!!!! Corbin is screaming in agony. Corbin gets near the ropes. Gable pulls!! GRAPEVINE TO THE LEG!!! Corbin drags himself. He gets closer. HE GETS THE ROPES!! Gable grabs the leg in the corner. He hits an elbow.

Corbin tries for a rake, Gable hits some elbows. Corbin shoves him. Gable locks the arm, swings, Corbin with End of Days! Pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winner and King of the Ring: Baron Corbin
Amazing performance from both, to be honest.
Match Quality: ***1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ****
Total Rating: ***3/4

Bakstage, The Street Profits welcome us to the Gender Reveal party of Maria. In comes the pregnant chick and her pregnant chin. She wants to reveal the gender of HER baby.

It’s a boy.

Ricochet is here because he cares, obviously.

Maria looks to Mike, says we all know who the father truly is, it’s Ricochet.

Ricochet is confused. He says she is lying. He’s never, nor would he – well, he might. Mike slaps him then says he’ll be in the ring.

Titus goes Black Uncle on Ricochet, then Street Profit come center to offer what kind of pole matches they want to see.

Ricochet comes out wearing a shirt that says “Believe in the Fight’ while trying his hardest not to fight….

Match 3: Mike Kanellis vs Ricochet
Mike goes for a clothesline. Mike is angry. Riochet tries to plead his case. Ric doesn’t want to fight. Mike slaps him. Ric tries. To hold his anger in. Right hand from Mike. He stomps Ricochet down on the mat. Ric holds his hands up to block. He then decides to superkick Mike. He runs with an elbow. Headbutt in the corner. He sends Mike to the corner then kicks the buckle. Springboard. Clothesline.

Recoil and a cover for 1..2..3!!!

Winner: Ricochet
Stupid…
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR

Back to the Firefly Funhouse where Bray is hanging up all the legends he’s destroyed. They have red crosses on their eyes. Bray says something is missing. It’s time for him to find some more friends.

We come back to the show, and Maria is at the top of the stage. She thought by blaming Ricochet, Mike would man the fuck up and show some balls. But now it’s time to learn who he truly is. The father is…..

Rusev marches down the ramp. Mike is tired of this. He says congrats, he’s done with this hoe, and tries to leave. Rusev clothelsines him down then tosses Mike into the barricade, then to the electronic apron, and back to the barricade again. Rusev sends Mike into the same chair that Gable was back body dropped onto! Rusev sends Mike into the ring, he waits for Mike to stand. Rusev calls for the end. He stomps like a mad man. Bell rings.

Rusev with a kick to the face. Rusev with the stomp to the back and The Accolade. Mike taps.

Match 5: Rey Mysterio vs Cesaro
Before the match can start, Cesaro threatens his son. The ref stops them, Cesaro puts his mouthguard in his mouth, then tuppercuts the shit out of Rey. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Cesaro hooks the head and hits a suplex. Cover for 1…NO! Cesaro with an uppercut. Elbow to the bak. He presses Rey against the ropes. Rey seated in the corner. Cesaro lifts Rey, whips to the corner hard, and Rey hits it chest first. Uppercut from Cesaro. Gutwrench. He lifts Rey on his shoulders and runs for a Buckle Bomb, but Rey head scissors Cesaro into the post. Rey hits the ropes. He goes for a suicide and Cesaro hits an uppercut. Cesaro grabs the head and sets up for a suplex over the top. Rey knees out of it, lands on his feet. Shoulder to the mid, kick to the arm. Rey with a 619 to the back of Cesaro! Rey hits the ropes, slides with a suicide, grabs the head, and hits a tornado DDT!

Back from a break, and Cesaro has a chin lock on Rey after a failed pin. Rey turns into the hold. Cesaro hits a knee .Whip to the corner. Rey waits, sets up, Rey locks the head, Cesaro escapes, Rey with a shoulder to the mid, right hand to Cesaro. Sptingboard, but Cesaro hits an uppercut. Cesaro on the apron. He grabs the rope. He flips oer it and lands on Rey ,then gets another chinlock. Cesaro works the arm into the hold as well. Cesaro sends him to the ropes. Crossbody off the ropes, but Cesaro holds on and turns it into a twirl, gets the crucifix, but Rey hits a driver, and both men are down!

Cesaro shoves after they stand, Rey holds onto the ropes, back flips for a moonsault, Cesaro catches him, Rey swings up for a DDT! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Big Boot from Cesaro to the mouth. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Cesaro with a crossface. Rey tursn this into a pin. Cesaro breaks. Enziguri to Cesaro. Cesaro stunned. He falls slowly to the ropes. Rey goes for a 619, but Cesaro ducks down and catches Rey on his shoulders! Wow. Bench press and Rey falls onto the knee of Cesaro! Cesaro covers. 1…2..NO!!! He grabs Rey by the face, pulls Rey up, locks the head, suplex and Cesaro holds on! Another!!! He goes for the hat trick, but Rey flips out of it!

Head scissors!!! 619!!!! Seate—noooo, Cesaro catches him, but Rey with the Canadian Destroyer! 1…2..3.!!!

Winner: Rey Mysterio
Cesaro is a God
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: ***

Back to Bray, who hangs a photo of Seth up on his wall.

I forgot to mention that Kane won the 24/7 title. There, I mentioned it.

We are informed of The Draft, then get a video package of Akam and Razar. They cut a promo in their native tongue with some scary music to back it. They call every tag team soft. None of them are hard enough to fight with them or have the heart or the manhood. This is a warning. We are the future of the division.

Match 6: Sasha Banks and Bayley vs Nikki Cross and Alexa Bliss
Bayley to start with Alexa. Lockup and Bayley rolls through an arm lock then sends Alexa down hard. She sends Alexa into the corner. Tag to Sasha who comes in with stomps. She tags in Bayley. Bayley wih a right hand to the gut but Alexa is able ot escape, hit a right, another sends Bayley down. Knees to Bayley then a back flip with some knees as well. Cover for 1..NO! Bayley sends Sasha into the corner with shoulders over and oer. Bayley rolls out, runs into a boot, then Alexa rolls through with the same move Rey just finished a match with. Bayley rolls out of the ring. Sasha checks on her. Bliss on the apron. She front flips onto the heels. Bliss sends Bayley into the ring then covers for 1..2..NO!! Tagto Nikki. Whip into Bayley. Then a slap. Snapmare and a dropkick from Nikki. Cover for 1..2…NO!! Alexa shows issues with her knee. Bayley locks the head, goes for a hangman. Tag from Sasha, who pulls the hair and lays Nikki across the ropes. Kick from Bayley. Double knees from Sasha. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Sasha locks the head, Sasha with asuplex. Cover for 1..2..NO! Cheap shot to Alexa. Sasha swings Nikki across the ropes and goes for the knees again, but Nikki gets a knee up. Bayley in, and gets sent right back out. She pulls Alexa down off the apron and Alexa is hurt. Bayley swings her into the steps, and Alexa is favoring the knee big time.

IN the ring, Sasha celebrates while Nikki reaches out for her friend. Bayley swings the knee into the ring steps. Sasha attacks Nikki in the cover. Boot to the neck. Trainers come out to check on Alexa.

After a break, we return to Bayley and Nikki goin at it. Nikki hits a knee, then another. Alexa has been taken to the back. Clothesline from Bayley. Tag to Sasha. Bayley steps on her and Sasha stomps Nikki. Sasha corners her, puts a boot to her face. Whip to Nikki. Tag to Bayley. She sets up for a little bit of Poetry in Motion. Bayley grabs Nikki up, tags in Sasha, and goes for another Poetry in Motion, but Nikki crawls over Sasha and attacks Bayley!!! Sasha grabs her hair and tosses Nikki to the outside. Tag to Bayley. Bayley goes for a right, but it’s blocked. Sasha with a baseball slide right into the apron. A bunch of rights. Bayley slides under the ropes. Nikki side steps and sends her into the barricade. She tosses Bayley into the ring. Nikki to the top rope. Bayley is standing. Crossbody. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Sasha is still stuck between the ring and apron. Bayley eats a right hand. Another. A third. Splash in the croer. Running bulldog. Nikki with a dropkick under the ropes to Sasha! Right hand to Nikki. She goes for the Bayley to Belly, but ross rolls her up for 1..2.NO!!! Whip to the corner. Back elbow. Nikki to the 2nd rope, locks the head. Tornado DDT. Nikki goes for a neckbreaker, but Sasha is there to stop it!!!! She drags Bayley to the corner. Tag from Sasha. She comes in. Nikki rolls her up. 1..2..NO!!!!

Kick from Nikki. Goes for the n eckbreaker, but Sasha escapes. Backstabber. BANK STATEMENT!!! Nikki taps!!

Winners: Sasha Banks and Bayley
Got a little sloppy there at the end.
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **1/2

Sasha Banks leaves the ring and grabs a chair. She slides it into the ring, looks to attack, but the music of Becky Lynch hits , and she’s got a chair of her own!!! Becky runs down the amp, enters the ring, and the girls go Chair to Chair. Becky gets a gut shot, goes for a neck slide, another, and Bayley is in the ring with a chair of her own. It’s a 2 on 1!

But here’s Charlotte!!! Bayley goes to attack her, but Charlotte hits a big boot. She smacks Bayley across the back. Sasha turns to see, then to Becky. She goes on the attack, drops the chair, and Becky smacks her one time across the back. Sasha crawls away as the crowd chants for Becky.
Backstage, Sasha cuts a promo. She challenges Becky to a rematch at Hell in a Cell, unless she is man enough, bitch?

There was so much wrong with that entire sentence….

Also, R-Truth wins the title back from President Mayor Kane.

News flies fast, as Becky has something for Sasha. She told Sasha this was a cat and mouse game. She brought in a chair last night, and cried all day long cuz Becky beat her ass with it. She got a fine, but she won’t be talking about that, her focus is on Sasha. Like the trapped rat that she is, Sasha brought in the Hell in the Cell. She will use it to break her down. She isn’t interested in facing her, she’s interested in destroying her.

Match 7: Dana Brooke vs Lacey Evans
Kick from lacey then some more in the corner. She grabs Dana, Dana with a short right. Kick is thwarted, and Dana swings Lacey down. Stomp to the hand then a harsh kick in the ass. Dane grabs the waist and sends Lacey into the corner. Hanspring elbow. Suplex and a cover for 1..2.NO!!! Lacey rolls to the outside. Dana leaves the ring. She shoves Lacey into the apron. Rights to Lacey. She hops to the apron and drags Lacey up, but Lacey sweeps the leg. She lifts Dana and drops her down on the edge of the apron. Lacey hops over the top rope and swings with a double kick to the face of Dana. Pin in the middle of the ring for 1..2…NO!!! Lacey drags Dana across the knee of Dana. Dana trips Lacey up, hits a clothesline, again, body slam from Dana. She goes for a crossbody and catches a knee.

Lacey grabs the hair. She stands up. The Woman’s Right. She grabs the hanky and locks in the Sharpshooter. Lacey drops on one knee as Dana taps.

Winner: Lacey Evans
Look at little Dana doin work
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **

Match 8: Seth Rollins vs Robert Roode
Seth works the arm behind Roode. Roode with a side headlock. Roode hits a shoulder, then the ropes, arm hook and a hip toss to Roode. Another into an arm bar. Roode grabs the hair, sends Seth into the corner. The hold breaks. Knee to Seth. Chop to Seth. Whip to Seth is reversed and he hits a body slam then a high knee drop. Kick to the back of Roode. Roode is able to hit a knee to eth. He rshes the corner with some shoulders. Right to the side of seth. Chop to Seth. Whip is reversed and Seth kicks the chest then clotheslines Roode to the outside. Seth hits the ropes, but there’s Ziggle to stop him. Seth goes after Dolph and chases him around Roode goes for a right but Seth knew it was coming, he hooks the arm, hops up on the apron. Running Knee to Roode. He sends Roode back into the ring. Roode knocks Setho ff and Seth falls onto the barricade. Dolph with a right hand as the ref is distracted.

We’re back and Seth is trying to chop Roode down. Roode with a back breaker and a pin for 1..2.NO! Another pin but Roode only gets 2. Roode sends Seth to the outside. Dolph removes his jacket so that he can properly eat a superkick from Seth. Roode exits and Seth is there to stop him with some chops .He sends Roode into the barricade. Roode is sent into the ring. Slingblde. Roode floats over. Roode sends Seth to the outside. Shoulder from Seth. Springboard, roll through, inverted—no, Seth catches, hits a Falcon Arrow! Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Seth to the top rope. Roode heads over to give him a right hand. Another right hand. Roode to the top, he grabs the head of Seth. Goes for a superplex. Seth slides underneath and goes for a buckle bomb! Kick to Roode. Hits the ropes. Stomp to Roode. Cover for 1..2…Dolph is there to break it up!

Winner:

Match Quality:
Personal Enjoyment:
Total Rating:

Dolph attacks Seth over and over with rights. Seth shoots the legs and gets some licks in. Dolph hooks the leg and mounts, and breathes heavily so you know it’s real.

AJ and The OC run down the ramp and look to join in on the attack. Seth fights back, but Dolph hits a superkick. Gallows and Anderson with The Magic Killer to Seth. AJ grabs Seth. Styles Clash. All five heels stomp Seth down over and over. Gallows holds Seth up. Anderson attacks. Roode hits some rights. AJ with another. Ziggler is next. He Superkicks Seth, and looks like he hits Gallows more than Seth.

The red flames of hell hit, and KANE is freakin here! Dolph and Roode head up the ramp. Uppercuts to Ziggler. To Roode. In the ring. Chokeslam to Gallows. Another to Anderson AND to AJ! Kane still lookin pretty buff.

Kane looks to do the flames. But they don’t emit. The lights go out completely. The Fiend is standing right behind Kane as the lights flicker. Mandible Claw to Kane!!!!!

After he subdues Kane completely, h crawls over to the shivering and fearful Seth Rollins cowering in the corner and just stares and laughs at him as we….

End Show