The ECW eXperience – 3.20.07

The ECW eXperience by J.D. Dunn March 20, 2007 Live from Cleveland, Ohio. Your hosts are Joey Styles and Taz. Chris Masters is upset because Bobby Lashley sunk his battleship. I mean, broke his Masterlock. So now Masters is going to make him pay. Sabu & Rob Van Dam vs. Marcus Cor Von & Kevin Thorn (w/Ariel). Styles implies that Taz has flipped toward the New Breed, an accusation that Taz denies. Sabu and Van Dam isolate and doubleteam Thorn. Thorn ducks a Van Dam spinkick, and RVD crotches himself. Cor Von adds a clothesline, sending Van Dam to the floor. RVD plays face-in-peril as Thorn settles into a chinlock. Marcus comes in and…goes to the chinlock. Come on. It’s been three minutes! Van Dam escapes and tags Sabu who does a lot of springboard stuff on Cor Von. Hey, whatever happened to Sick Boy? Van Dam takes Thorn to the floor with a rana. Thorn gets his hand on Sabu’s hair, distracting him long enough for Cor Von to STEAMROLL Sabu with the POUNCE at 5:14. That Pounce should be replayed over and over again for the next few weeks. Hell, add it to the opening credits right now! The match itself was about average. *3/4 Snitsky vs. Mike Tolar. Snitsky tosses Tolar into the buckle and finishes with the big boot at 0:36. Apparently, they’re trying to make Snistky over in the mold of Sycho Sid, except without the Norman Bates-like charisma. 1/4* The Sheikh is your newest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame. Did I miss this last night, or are they announcing it here because of Sabu? Anyway, this is another easy call. Check out Scott Hall sporting the pornstache. CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly. Quick start as Punk armdrags Holly down. Elijah Burke walks down to observe as Punk hits another armdrag and kicks Holly in the back. Holly drops Punk with a hot shot to take over. Punk tries a backdrop and gets kicked in the chest. Chinlockery by Holly. Punk makes the standard WWE comeback (screaming clotheslines). The corner knee sets up a bulldog attempt. Holly counters to an Alabama Slam attempt, but Punk grabs the ropes. Holly kicks him in the “lower midsection” and sets up for a superplex. Punk fights him off, though, and hits a legdrop. Now, Burke is up on the apron, so Punk stops to jaw with him. Kevin Thorn runs down and snaps Holly’s neck on the top rope behind the ref’s back. Punk looks pissed but hits Go2Sleep at 5:41. ** In the back, Burke reminds Punk that New Breed membership has its privileges. Extreme Expose gets Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me” this week. Five stars for the song selection. Layla has also straightened her hair. Not sure if I like it yet or not. Elijah Burke (w/Matt Striker) vs. Tommy Dreamer (w/Sandman). Dreamer hiptosses Burke and tries to suplex him from the apron to the floor, but Burke tosses him into the post. Head-and-arm chinlock from Burke kills time. Dreamer comes back with a neckbreaker. He fires off a series of punches and a fallaway slam. Dreamer’s tree-of-woe dropkick is kind of sad. You know how Chris Sabin does the move and kind of hangs in the air because he gets so much height? Well, Dreamer hangs in the air too, but it’s from wind resistance on the way down. Burke grabs the ropes to block a DDT and finishes with the Elijah Express (corner knees to the back) at 2:43. * Bobby Lashley vs. Chris Masters. Lashley was the first to break the Masterlock, so this is just a natural extension. If this was 1987, this would make millions. It’s not 1987, though, so we get some smart asses in the crowd screaming, “boring” before the match even begins. Well, that’s just not fair. At least let them earn it. Lashley backdrops Masters and clotheslines him over the top. Masters takes over on the outside. Back in, Masters hits a suplex. Lashley’s all, “Nah, I’m done with this,” and hits a corner clothesline. The Dominator Powerslam finishes at 3:15. Actually, this could have been a decent drawn-out power feud instead of a squash. 1/2* The 411: Meh. I like the Punk as wild card storyline. I think not going with Masters vs. Lashley in a post-Mania feud is a missed opportunity, though (from a storyline standpoint, not a wrestling one). The rest is just mix-and-match booking for the eight-man tag. Not a great week for ECW, but try to check out that Pounce on Sabu.