411’s WWE Roadblock Report 03.12.16

Welcome to 411’s WWE Roadblock 2016 Report. We are LIVE in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

We start the show with the New Day making their way to the ring for their match against the League of Nations. Xavier asks the WWE Universe what they see when they look at the New Day. They see positivity. They see hips that just don’t lie. They see his girl, Francesca II. And most of all, they see the WWE Tag Team Champions. And it’s all because they eat their Booty-O’s. Because if you don’t eat your Booty-O’s, you’ll be a king without a kingdom like King Barrett. If you don’t eat your Booty-O’s, you’ll look stupid like Sheamus. So eat your Booty-O’s… because New Day Rocks.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match
The New Day (Champions) vs. The League of Nations

It’s Kofi and Sheamus to start the match. Kofi goes for a rear waste lock, but Sheamus shoves him away. Kofi joins Big E for an impromptu dance party, but Sheamus levels Kofi with a clothesline. Sheamus whips Kofi to the corner and makes the tag to Barrett. Barrett maintains control and beats Kofi down to the mat in the corner. Kofi creates just enough space to make the tag to Big E, and Big E catches Barrett with a back breaker. Big E whips Barrett to the corner for the rapid tag Unicorn Stampede. Barrett finally fights back to his feet and catches Kofi with Winds of Change. Barrett goes to the ground and pound and makes the tag to Sheamus. Sheamus hits the Irish Curse and makes the quick tag back to Barrett. Barrett ties up Kofi in the ropes and connects with a volley of knee shots. Sheamus get the tag and hits the Beats of the Bodhrán. Sheamus heads up top and connects with a diving battering ram before making the tag to Barrett. Barrett whips Kofi to the corner and punts him in the gut for a two count. Sheamus get the tag and heads up top, but this time Kofi connects with a mid-air drop kick. Big E FINALLY gets the hot tag, but Sheamus also makes the tag to Barrett. Big E catches Barrett with a belly-to-belly slam and follows up with a running splash. Barrett regains control with a snap suplex out of the corner and gets a two count. Kofi and Sheamus both get the tag, and Kofi catches Sheamus with a pair of boots in the corner. Kofi hits a diving crossbody but only gets a two count. Sheamus hits a high running knee and counters Trouble in Paradise into the Cloverleaf. Barrett pulls Big E off the apron to prevent the tag, but Big E whips Barrett into the barrier. Kofi finally rolls through the Cloverleaf and hits the S.O.S. for a two count. Big E gets the tag, but Kofi leaps over him toward Sheamus and lands awkwardly on his head. Barrett gets the tag and levels Big E, but Xavier distracts the referee. Kofi takes out Sheamus on the outside, and Big E connects with the Big Ending to Barrett for the three count.

Match Result: Big E defeats King Barrett with the Big Ending.
Match Length: 9:47
Slimmer’s Rating: **½

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN! Y2J is in Toronto, and he’s making his way down to the ring. Jericho grabs a mic and tells the fans in Toronto to shut their dirty mouths. They’ve had the chance to cheer for Jericho for months, but instead they decided to chant for AJ Styles. Typical Canadians – just a little bit behind, just a little bit slower than the rest of the world. Jericho says that the irony is that he’s the greatest icon in the history of this country, but he’s ashamed of that. He’s ashamed of that, because he’s ashamed to be Canadian. He’s so ashamed that he moved out of Canada a long time ago, and it’s the smartest move he’s ever made. And you want to know why he moved? He moved because Canada stinks. Literally. Canada stinks, and Toronto is the anus. So cheer for whatever flavors of the month you want. AJ Styles, Jack Swagger, whoever. But Jericho isn’t the flavor of the month or the next big thing… he’s the only thing. He’s the only thing that matters, because he’s the best in the world at what he does.

Singles Match
Chris Jericho vs. Jack Swagger

Jericho starts the match with a slap to Swagger before rolling out of the ring to catch an early breather. Swagger chases Jericho around the ring and levels Jericho with a back elbow shot as soon as they head back into the ring. Swagger traps Jericho in the corner and goes to work with the mounted punches. Jericho regains control and beats Swagger down to the mat in the corner. Jericho kicks Swagger out of the ring as the crowd chants for AJ Styles. Jericho heads to the outside and whips Swagger into the barricade. Jericho rolls Swagger back into the rings and punts him in the ribs. Jericho goes for the cover and gets a one count. Jericho locks in a rear chin lock on the mat, but Swagger fights back to his feet and breaks the hold. Swagger hits the ropes, but Jericho catches him with a standing drop kick on the rebound. Jericho drags Swagger back to his feet as the crowd erupts into a CM Punk chant. Swagger breaks free and levels Jericho with a clothesline. Swagger goes for the Swagger bomb, but Jericho gets both boots up. Jericho his the running bulldog but misses the Lionsault. Swagger successfully connects with the Swagger Bomb but only gets a two count. Swagger whips Jericho to the corner but eats a boot. Jericho tries to lock in the Walls of Jericho, but Swagger kicks him away. Jericho counts the Patriot Lock into an enzuigiri, but Swagger counters the Code Breaker into a power slam. Jericho hits the ropes and goes for a running crossbody, but Swagger catches him in mid-air and counters into the Patriot Lock. Jericho makes it to the ropes to break the hold and then locks up Swagger in the Walls of Jericho. Swagger can’t make it to the ropes, so he has no choice but to tap.

Match Result: Chris Jericho defeats Jack Swagger with the Walls of Jericho.
Match Length: 7:54
Slimmer’s Rating: **½

NXT Tag Team Championship Match
The Revival (Champions) vs. Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady w/ Carmella

Enzo and Dash start the match, and Dash immediately starts throwing fists. Dash whips Enzo to the corner, but Enzo catches Dash with a hurricanrana. Enzo makes the tag to Big Cass, and Cass catches Dash with a side slam. Dawson gets the tag, but the ref didn’t see it. Cass hits Dash with a HUGE back body drop and makes the tag to Enzo. Cass launches Enzo into Dash and then hurls Dash at Dawson. Dash and Dawson try to regroup on the outside, but Cass launches Enzo over the top rope onto both opponents. The action heads back into the ring, and Dawson finally gets the tag. Dawson posts Enzo in the corner and makes the quick tag back to Dash. Dash levels Enzo, makes the quick tag, and hold Enzo on the mat as Dawson stomps on his arm. Dawson works over the arm and scoop slams Enzo into the corner. Dawson ties up Enzo in the tree of woe and makes the tag to Dash. Dash connects with a knee to the gut that sends Enzo tumbling to the outside. Dawson gets the tag and dives across the ring to prevent Enzo from making the hot tag to Big Cass. Dawson again ties up Enzo in the tree of woe, but Enzo evades a running shoulder to post Dawson in the corner. Dash gets the tag as Big Cass FINALLY gets the hot tag. Cass cleans house and damn near decapitates Dash with a Big Boot. Cass hits the East River Crossing and sets up for the Rocket Launcher, but Dawson pulls Enzo off the top. Cass heads to the outside but eats a Shatter Machine. Enzo and Dawson gets the tags. Enzo and Dawson slug it out, but Dash gets the tag. Dash and Dawson hit Enzo with the Shatter Machine, and Dash makes the three count.

Match Result: Dash defeats Enzo Amore after the Shatter Machine.
Match Length: 10:14
Slimmer’s Rating: ***½

WWE Divas Championship Match
Charlotte (Champion) w/ Ric Flair vs. Natalya

Natalya quickly catches Charlotte with a side headlock takedown, but Charlotte fights back to her feet and gets a standing switch. Charlotte gets the takedown and goes to the front body scissors, but Natalya pivots into a heel lock, but Charlotte counters into a half Boston crab. Natalya tries to counter into the Sharpshooter, but Charlotte quickly grabs the ropes. Both Divas get back to their feet, and Natalya delivers a STIFF chop to Charlotte. Natalya locks up Charlotte in a surfboard and follows up with a low drop kick to the face. Natalya again goes for the Sharpshooter, but Charlotte again gets to the ropes. Natalya kicks Charlotte out of the ring and quick retrieves her. Charlotte drags Natalya out of the ring and drops her spine-first on the mat. Charlotte rolls Natalya back into the ring and repeatedly pounds her head into the mat. Charlotte traps Natalya in the corner and chokes her against the bottom turnbuckle. Charlotte locks in the head scissors and repeatedly pounds her face into the mat. Charlotte transitions into the leg sleeper, but Natalya shifts into a pinning predicament for a two count. Charlotte flips Natalya out of the sleeper, but Natalya quickly rolls up Charlotte for a two count. Charlotte starts working over the legs to set up the Figure Eight. Charlotte goes for the Figure Eight, but Natalya counters into a small package for another two count. Charlotte hits a chop block and continues to work over the legs. Charlotte slams Natalya’s leg into the ring post, but when she tries it again, Natalya pulls Charlotte face-first into the post. Both Divas get back to their feet and slug it out in the middle of the ring. Natalya hits a side Russian leg sweep and a clothesline, but Charlotte counters the Sharpshooter once again. Charlotte hits a Big Boot and locks in the Figure Eight, but Natalya rolls to reverse the pressure. Charlotte rolls back into proper position but eventually rolls all the way out of the ring. Charlotte charges back into the ring and hits Natural Selection for a two count. Charlotte hits a belly-to-belly suplex and heads up top for the moonsault, but Natalya gets to her feet and counters into a sit-out powerbomb for a LOOONG two count. Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but Charlotte counters into a small package for a two count. Charlotte again goes for the Figure Eight, but Natalya counters into the Sharpshooter. Ric helps to pulls Charlotte toward the ropes, so Natalya breaks the hold and gets in Ric’s face. That distraction gives Charlotte the opportunity to roll up Natalya with her feet on the ropes for the three count.

Match Result: Charlotte defeats Natalya with a roll-up.
Match Length: 13:47
Slimmer’s Rating: ***¼ As has been the case with so many Divas championship matches lately, this was a really solid match with an underwhelming finish.

2-on-1 Handicap Match
Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman vs. Bray Wyatt & Luke Harper

This is a handicap match, but Wyatt and Harper will have to tag in and out. Wyatt starts the match but very quickly makes the tag to Harper. Harper charges toward Lesnar but eats GERMAN SUPLEX #1! Harper gets back to his feet and works over Lesnar in the corner. Harper hits a big boot and a side kick. Harper hits a second side kick, and Lesnar is down to one knee. Harper levels Lesnar with the spinning clothesline and gets a one count. Harper drags Lesnar back to his feet and locks in a standing sleeper, but Lesnar drops down, slides between Harper’s legs, and hits GERMAN SUPLEX #2! That man’s agility is absolutely unreal. GERMAN SUPLEX #3! GERMAN SUPLEX #4! GERMAN SUPLEX #5! GERMAN SUPLEX #6! F-5 for the three count!

Match Result: Brock Lesnar defeats Luke Harper with the F-5.
Match Length: 4:43
Slimmer’s Rating: ** for the match, ****** for the suplexes

Singles Match
Sami Zayn vs. Stardust

Zayn catches Stardust with three deep arm drags and an arm bar. Stardust fights back to his feet and pulls Zayn ribs-first into the ring post. Stardust drags Zayn out of the ring and rams him back-first into the ring apron. Stardust drags Zayn back into the ring and beats him down to the mat. Stardust hits a front suplex and goes for a sloppy cover for a two count. Stardust wrenches the leg and stomps on Zayn’s lower abdomen. Stardust locks up Zayn in a reverse Boston Crab and then stomps on Zayn’s back. Zayn flips out of a back suplex and catches Stardust with a big boot. Zayn rolls up Stardust but only gets a two count. Stardust gets back to his feet and continues to stomp on Zayn. Stardust takes Zayn up top and goes for a top rope superplex, but Zayn blocks and knocks Stardust back down to the mat. Stardust quickly spring back up top and catches Zayn with a top rope superplex for a two count. Stardust kicks the chest and slaps Zayn with his glove. Zayn rallies with a two clotheslines and mounted punches in the corner. Zayn hits a scoop slam and heads up top. Stardust springs back to his feet, so Zayn leaps over him. Zayn dumps Stardust to the outside and connects with a dive. The action spills back into the ring, and Zayn hits the Blue Thunder Bomb for a two count. Stardust regains control and sets up for the Queen’s Crossbow, but Zayn counters, but Stardust catches him with the Disaster Kick. Zayn fights back with a suplex into the corner and a Helluva Kick for the three count.

Match Result: Sami Zayn defeats Stardust with a Helluva Kick.
Match Length: 12:49
Slimmer’s Rating: **¾

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match
Triple H (Champion) vs. Dean Ambrose

Triple H starts with a standing switch and a side headlock takedown. Ambrose fights back to his feet, but Triple H goes right back to the standing switch and the side headlock takedown. Ambrose again gets back to his feet, but Triple H catches him with an arm wringer and an overhead key lock. Ambrose gets a side headlock takedown of his own, but Triple H breaks free and levels him with a shoulder tackle. Ambrose catches Triple H with an arm drag into an arm bar before relaxing on the top turnbuckle à la Shawn Michaels. Ambrose works over the arm, but Triple H muscles Ambrose into the corner. Triple H and Ambrose slug it out in the middle of the ring before Triple H again muscles Ambrose to the corner. Triple H beats Ambrose down to the mat, but Ambrose hits the ropes and connects with a running crossbody. Ambrose clotheslines Triple H to the outside and heads out to level Triple H with a clothesline. Ambrose rolls Triple H back into the ring and hits a chop block. Ambrose wraps Triple H’s leg around the second rope and hits a low drop kick to torque it. Ambrose slams Triple H’s leg into the ring post, and he’s clearly targeting the left leg. Triple H struggles to his feet, but Ambrose connects with a chop block off the second rope. The action spills to the outside and Triple H goes for a Pedigree, but Ambrose tries to counter into a catapult, but Triple H kicks Ambrose back-first into the ring steps. Triple H drops Ambrose gut-first onto the barricade and heads back into the ring. Ambrose beats the count back into the ring, but Triple H catapults him neck-first into the second rope. Triple H hits a front suplex and drops an elbow onto Ambrose’ back. Triple H locks in the Crippler Crossface before transitioning into a crucifix face lock. Triple H whips Ambrose to the corner and follows up with a spinerbuster for a two count. Triple H takes Ambrose up top, but Ambrose head butts him back down to the mat. Ambrose connects with a diving elbow drop before slugging it out with Triple H in the middle of the ring. Ambrose levels Triple H with a running forearm and a bulldog out of the corner for the two count. Ambrose works over Triple H with mounted punches in the corner, but Triple H counters into an inverted atomic drop. Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Ambrose counters into a jackknife pin for a two count. Ambrose charges at Triple H, but Triple H damn near decapitates him with a clothesline out of the corner. Triple H again goes for the Pedigree, but Ambrose counters into a back body drop to the outside. Ambrose goes for a suicide dive, but Triple H catches him with a punch in mid-air. Triple H sets up the announce table, but Ambrose whips Triple H into the ring steps. Ambrose rolls Triple H back into the ring and heads up top, but Triple H hits the ropes to make Ambrose lose his balance. Triple H sets up for the Pedigree, but Ambrose counters into the Figure Four Leg Lock right in the middle of the ring. Ambrose has been working over the leg the whole match, and now it’s paying off. Triple H punches his way out of the Figure Four and goes for a back suplex, but Ambrose flips over. Ambrose locks in the Sharpshooter! Triple H tries to crawl to the ropes, but Ambrose pulls him back to the middle of the ring. Triple H FINALLY makes it to the ropes, and Ambrose is forced to break the hold. Triple H fights to his feet and drops Ambrose nick-first on the top rope. Triple H heads for Ambrose, but AMBROSE HITS DIRTY DEEDS FOR THE THREE COUNT! The referee immediately realizes that Ambrose’ feet were under the bottom rope and reverses his decision. Triple H rolls up Ambrose but only gets a two count. Ambrose dumps Triple H to the outside and connects with a suicide dive. Ambrose whips Triple H into the barricade and hits a diving elbow drop from the top rope to the outside. Ambrose rolls Triple H onto the announce table and beats him senseless. Ambrose quickly breaks the count before heading back to the outside. Ambrose goes for a diving elbow drop off the barricade, but Triple H rolls out of the way, and Ambrose crashes through the announce table. Triple H rolls back into the ring, and the referee begins his count on Ambrose. Ambrose just barely beats the count back into the ring, but Triple H immediately catches him with the Pedigree for the three count.

Match Result: Triple H defeats Dean Ambrose with the Pedigree.
Match Length: 24:29
Slimmer’s Rating: ****½ There were moments when Ambrose really had me believing.