wrestling / Columns
411Mania’s Squared Circle News Report 04.18.09
Welcome back inside the Squared Circle! First of all, sorry for missing last week. I must give a hearty thank you to Chris Lansdell for filling in for me last week. I don’t care what Stephen Randle says….Lansdell is not that bad of a guy. Well, the reason I missed last week was because Comcast decided I didn’t need any sort of Internet connection for three days so my only sort of Internet access was courtesy of my lovely IPhone. Thank GOD for that invention. But I’m back online and kicking obviously, so that was just a little set back in this express train known as the 411SCN!
I may be back this week, but I have some bad news. Unfortunately I’m a little handicapped at the moment. You see, my girlfriend has this hamster and I thought it would be a good idea to stick my index finger in the cage. That’s when the little son of a bitch decided to treat my favorite finger like it was some sort of delicious treat. Not only that…..but IT HURT! Now, I consider myself a pretty tough guy, but this little rodent made me BLEED! I was so mad I took him out of the cage, drove to the nearest elementary school, waited for school to get out, and SQUASHED him in front of a group of little kids!!!
….OK, that last part didn’t really happen but that’s what I felt like doing!
Before I get to the good stuff I must let you know that UFC 97 is tonight and it features Anderson Silva vs. Thales Leites and Chuck Liddell vs. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua….I’m telling you this because I’m recommending you go somewhere to watch this show. It should be a FANTASTIC one.
Oh, and the NBA playoffs start tonight. All I can say is…..GO BLAZERS!!!!!
Now, moving on to RASSLIN……
What’s the deal with this WWE Encylcopedia? Is it worth spending my hard earned cash on it or should I wait until it reaches the bargain bin in a year? I went to WWEShop.com to see how much it costs, but I got sidetracked by this!
I have to have that t-shirt….you know how many chicks I can get with that sucker?
Oh, that’s right….you came here for actual wrestling news……
LET’S GET IT ON!!!!!
Biggest News Of The Week:
TNA Signs “Former World Champion”…Is It Tazz?
Is Tazz heading to TNA?
TNA sent out a mobile message on Friday stating that they have signed the “former world champion from another wrestling organization” and that the mystery man would be debuting at Lockdown. The Wrestling Observer is speculating that the mystery man may indeed be none other than Taz(z)! Tazz is still interested in staying in the wrestling business and left the WWE just a few weeks back, which is why his name is the one being kicked around the most. If TNA did somehow sign Tazz and they put him on Impact as the new color man, I can’t tell you how great of a move that would be for TNA. However if it is Tazz, did they sign him with the intention of having the man compete in the ring? Tazz is reportedly not interested in wrestling anymore, but who’s to say a man can’t change his mind? A return to the ring for Tazz would definitely be something I would be interested in seeing so kudos to TNA if that’s what happens.
In the end, we all know TNA’s history is to sign recently departed WWE guys, which is why if Tazz shows up at Lockdown no one will really be surprised. Unless of course you don’t visit wrestling websites, which in case means you probably live in a state that doesn’t have the Internet…like Montana.
The Undertaker To Retire Next Year?
Is The Undertaker calling it a career next year?
During a house show at The O2 Arena in Dublin, The Undertaker’s entrance music came on and ring announcer Tony Chimmel then announced that the WWE would be running an Undertaker retirement tour next April. No doubt this is huge news as Undertaker is one of the biggest WWE legends of all-time and has been with the WWE for almost 19 years. Hell, the man has been with the WWE almost as long as I have been watching it. If you were to put together a list of the five most recognizable professional wrestlers of all-time….Undertaker may very well have a spot on that list. That’s how important Taker is to the WWE. But let’s not stress it yet, we still reportedly have another year before that happens.
But it’s not too early to talk about WrestleMania 26 right? If The Undertaker is set to retire next April then we basically know that the man who faces him at WrestleMania next year could be the one who finally ends “DA STREAK~!” Of course it’s way too early to determine who would be feuding with the Undertaker in a year, but let’s hope it’s someone who is young and can get a “rub” from the Undertaker. Perhaps someone like this man…..
Or not……
In the end, it will be sad to see the career of the Undertaker come to an end, but you know what they say. All good things must come to an end.
Remember This Guy???
The Yeti
Oh man…this one was a treat. There was a time when WCW was having a tough time doing EVERYTHING. So they decided to bring in a stable known as the “Dungeon of Doom” which was headed by “The Taskmaster” Kevin Sullivan. It featured a bunch of horrible gimmicks but none of them were able to top this baby. At WCW Halloween Havoc we were promised a surprise…..and man did we get one. During a match, this mummy looking creature came out and it was revealed that he was the newest member of the “Dungeon of Doom”….THE YETI!.
There was one good thing about The Yeti though….if you blinked, you missed his whole run in WCW! Sometimes life does work out for everyone.
Random News Bits:
– It was ruled that the cause of death of Andrew “Test” Martin was an accidental overdose of Oxycodone, the same drug that led to the death of Sherri Martel and Pitbull #2. I would like to say this new surprises me, but it doesn’t.
– The 2010 Royal Rumble will be going down at the Phillips Arena on January 24. Great, so my dream of the Royal Rumble coming to Portland is delayed yet another year.
– As I mentioned last time, Shawn Michaels will be taking some time off to heal some injuries. Expect him to be back before the Fall because recent rumors have another DX reunion (UGH!) around Survivor Series time.
– JBL will be doing some MMA announcing for Danny Davis’ Vyper Fight League. Let’s hope that JBL knows the difference between a “gogoplata” and “that choke hold the Undertaker does”.
– Former WWE diva Victoria had the following to say regarding her participation in the diva battle royal at WrestleMania:
“It was great to see a lot of old friends. The Diva Battle Royal wasn’t exactly the tribute to 25 years of women’s wrestling that I was hoping it would be. But any WWE PPV event, let alone Wrestlemania, is always a spectacle, and it was fun to be part of it. Frankly, I didn’t get much camera time either, but I’ll get more at Wrestlemania 26 in Phoenix when I fight Gina Carano.”
Of course, we all know THAT’S not going to happen. As cool as it would be to see Victoria fight Gina Carano at a WrestleMania, it would never happen. Victoria also mentioned that she is not going to TNA and that she is still interested in an MMA career. So maybe one day we will get to see Carano vs. Victoria….but it will be inside a cage! WOOOO!
(Credit goes to The Wrestling Observer for the above news!)
Wrestling Top 10 Lists:
My Top 10 Legends Who Should Be In The WWE Hall Of Fame
(These are my personal top 10 WWE legends who should be in the WWE Hall of Fame but for some reason or another have yet to be inducted….)
This list is in no particular order……
10) Ultimate Warrior
The Ultimate Warrior is the sole reason I started watching wrestling. I was obsessed with his face paint, his energy, his promos that made no sense what so ever. It all worked for me! The Warrior is a former WWE Champion and Intercontinental Champion, so he has the credentials. This could happen next year when the WWE is in Arizona. That all depends on what kind of mood Warrior is in at the time.
9) Ted DiBiase
It’s a shame “The Million Dollar Man” was never WWE champion, but they can make it up to the legend by putting him in the HOF next year. Inducted of course by his son…….
8) Owen Hart
This is one that is more than likely going to happen sometime soon. It will be a memorable induction and one hopefully made by none other than Bret “The Hitman” Hart.
7) Yokozana
If Koko B. Ware has a spot in the HOF, then this multiple time WWE champion deserves a spot as well.
6) The Undertaker
If this man isn’t on your list, then you don’t deserve to have a list.
5) Shawn Michaels
Once again, another no-brainer…..
4) The Rock
Well, we ALL know this is going to happen someday. The question is….when?
3) Bob Backlund
Of course Backlund should be in the HOF. He’s had a long run as WWE champion in the 1980’s and then came back with an awesome gimmick in the 1990’s as a “crazy old man” and won the title again. Oh yeah, he also tried to run for President!
2) Scott Hall
This is one that may have to happen quickly due to the unpredictable behavior and reportedly bad health of Hall. I know I’m not the only one who thinks “Razor Ramon” should be inducted into the HOF. He’s a multiple time IC champion, a former tag team champion and THE man who kicked off one of the biggest angles in pro wrestling history in the form of the nWo. Let’s put Hall in there ASAP!
1) Randy Savage
The biggest no-brainer on this list. Whatever heat exists between Vince McMahon and Randy Savage is one of the biggest mysteries in wrestling, but perhaps one day we will FINALLY get to see Savage back in the WWE in some way shape or form.
YouTube! Find Of The Week!
Diesel tries to win the WWE title from Bob Backlund, can he do it?
Your Turn:
Your Turn is on hiatus this week due to the fact that I wasn’t around last week. How you like them apples???
And that’s it for me this week. Remember, don’t be a stranger to 411! Bookmark the site and visit it countless times a day. Hell, be brave and make it your homepage! Trust me, it will make you a better person……
See you next Saturday back in the Squared Circle! Until then, you can find me on MySpace or Facebook! I also recently broke down and got a Twitter as well!
