The Name on the Marquee: Smoky Mountain Wrestling (8.27.1994)

-Originally aired August 27, 1994.

-Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Les Thatcher.

-Jim Cornette and the Heavenly Bodies interrupt right away to again protest the fact that the Heavenly Bodies can’t legally wrestle in SMW as a result of the Rock & Roll Express getting the biggest fluke win of their careers. The Express comes out and accepts the challenge for a match against the Heavenly Bodies, but first they introduce Jim Cornette to their new manager…Bob Armstrong.

DA GANGSTAS vs CHRIS HAMRICK & DAN DUBIA
-Weirdest thing ever, as the camera cuts to a shot of a fan at ringside shooting tonight’s card on her own home video camera. I wonder of the presence of the commentators and the professional stage lighting on the ring and the three cameramen might possibly tip her off that she doesn’t really need to do that. Referee does the weapons check on Da Gangstas, with Bob Caudle rationalizing it by explaining, “A team like this, you really DO need to check them for weapons.”

-Hamrick dazes Mustafa with dropkicks, but Mustafa stun guns him and tags in Denzel’s friend. Diving headbutt by New Jack, and the 187 looks to finish, but Mustafa basically lets Hamrick tag out so they can beat up on another white person. The 187 wraps it up this time, and Hamrick and Dubia get the X’s on their foreheads.

-And now, the most uncomfortable moment of Bob Caudle’s workday, interviewing Da Gangstas. The Rock & Roll Express is ducking them. Elvis Presley is dead, and so is rock & roll; rap is taking over the world, and so are Da Gangstas.

SMW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: DIRTY WHITE BOY (Champion) vs KILLER KYLE (with Jim Cornette)
-They slug it out immediately, and Kyle just rips the belt right off DWB’s waist and whips him with it. Kyle stomps all over him, with Cornette helping from the floor with some choking. DWB is just getting nothing while Kyle rakes and punches him. DWB throws a few punches and Kyle is able to shake it off. Big boot finally dazes him and DWB goes to work with punches and choking.

-Kyle shakes it off and puts the boots to DWB, but he misses a corner charge. They battle it out a little more and Kyle misses ANOTHER corner charge, and this time, DWB rolls him up for the anticlimactic pin. Bruiser Bedlam attacks after the bell until Tracy Smothers and Bob Armstrong make the save.

PERSONALITY PROFILE
-Les Thatcher talks to Chris Candido, who’s all alone this week. Ricky Morton has challenged Candido to one-on-one matches with a stipulation of Ricky’s hair vs. Candido’s bonnet. Candido touches on how Brian Lee’s sole function in the group was to be the big, strong, stupid muscle of the unit, but now that he’s gone, Candido has a new partner who’s even bigger, stronger, and stupider than Brian Lee.

-So out comes Tammy with her new charge, a big, stupid, barking moron named Boo Bradley, who’s so insane that Tammy has to drag him around on a leash. You know him better as Balls Mahoney. Or maybe you know him better as Xanta Klaus or Goldust’s bodyguard from that one match, I dunno.

BEAT THE CHAMP TV TITLE: CHRIS CANDIDO (Champion, with Tammy Fytch) vs LANCE STORM (with Chris Jericho)
-Lance tries to rip the bonnet off to screw with Chris. High hiptoss and an even higher dropkick send Candido out to the floor for a retreat. Back in, Storm armdrags him all over the place.

-Candido takes over but misses a corner charge and crotches himself on the turnbuckle. Lance goes to the top, but Candido meets him up there and goes for a ‘rana off the top. Lance braces himself so Candido goes down without him and crashes. Boo Bradley shows up and looks poised to attack Chris Jericho, which catches the referee’s attention. Meanwhile, Candido is setting up for a suicideplex with Brian Lee runs in and just LAUNCHES Candido across the ring and onto the mat, and Storm pins him right away to take the title.

-Brian Lee cuts a fired-up babyface promo and has more of an edge and personality than he did during his initial face run in SMW. So that’s good.

NON-TITLE: ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS (Tag Team Champions with Bob Armstrong) vs HEAVENLY BODIES (with Jim Cornette)
-Express clears the ring in short order. Morton works Pritchard’s arm and rolls him up for two. Morton stays on the arm and the Express cheats just to screw with him, switching without making tags. Karma strikes soon after, with Morton hitting the ropes and meeting a knee to the back, and Jimmy Del Ray takes over from there with a neckbreaker.

-Bodies double-team Morton. Savate kick by Del Ray gets two. Hot tag, donnybrook, double dropkick, Cornette breaks the pin, Armstrong kicks his ass, and the Express just BURIES the Heavenly Bodies, pinning them clean as a sheet with Gibson and Morton each pinning a member and getting simultaneous three-counts.

-DWB dares Cornette to add as many members as he wants to FITE and throw every damn one of them at him. He’s ready.

4.5

The final score: review Poor

The 411

I don't feel good about this one, as Cornette did something completely bizarre this week and killed off a legit singles contender and legit tag team contenders in a single week at a time when he is visibly hurting for strong talent. I love clean finishes. I shit all over that NWA Battle of the Belts supercard a while back for being full of cop-out finishes, but the thing is...that's your big event. THAT's when you do the clean finishes. The TV show is about keeping everyone strong and making you excited for the next big event.