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It’s Day one of Season 3,459 of WWE Raw, and the world is abuzz for the return of someone we haven’t seen since 2016! Drama is high as the relationship between Dana and Reggie heats up, Edge is hanging with the “wrong crowd,” and does Roman have what it takes to beat the rest of the roster?

-cue cheesy 90’s sitcom music here-

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It’s Monday…you know what that means.

Did you watch Mania? Worry not, because we are going to spend the first ten inutes of RAW showing and telling you what happened!

RAW starts proper with chants for Cody, and he’s here, suited and booted.

It is 5:12, and he finally speaks. “So what do you guys wanna talk about?”

He says it’s been 47 days since the abrupt news that he was a free agent, and he remained silence. He heard stories, defamatory whispers, theories, everyone thinks the decision to return was difficult; it was not. He calls himself the star that left them in the dust. He says if there was any trepidation, the moment he walked down the ramp at Mania and defeated one of the best of all time, that doubt was eradicated. He is an avid reader, and he has stumbled across a quote about destiny.

We see a photo of Dusty on the tron. Cody says that Dusty was his hero. He chokes up a bit. In that photo, Dusty is holding the title that Hogan would get his hands on, Taker, HBK, and Triple H, too. Many other greats. Cody has a quick story. This photo of Dusty was on the mantle in his parent’s bedroom until Dusty’s last day. As he got hip to the industry and asked him, and said he didn’t know Dusty was champion like Hogan. Dusty looked at Cody, with the same eyes that Liberty has, and said sternly and patiently, he won the match but because it was a win by countout, he didn’t take the title home. Cody is 8, what is a boy to do besides promise Dusty he will win the title and place it into the hands of Dusty and tell him that no one can take it away from him now.

For those that are new to Cody’s journey, that dream died in front of him. The chance passed…or did it? Yes, he cannot physically hand the title to his father, but he certainly can put it around the waist of The American Nightmare. The silence is broken, and he stands before us ready…finally ready. He will do it. He will give the distinction that his family has long since been denied, and he will do it for us fans, for himself, for his family, and for his father.

Rollins is lookin lavish in some pink as he dances his way down the ramp to the tune of his entrance song, really relishing in it as Cody smirks. Cody tosses the mic away, not looking for a conversation, and extends his hand out for Seth to shake. Seth shakes it and leaves as Cody’s music plays.

Match 1: Rhea Ripley and Liv Morgan vs Sasha Banks and Naomi
Rhea and Naomi to start. Headbutt from Rhea then a delayed suplex, holding Naomi upside down for like 20 seconds. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Rhea misses a big move, Naomi kicks, kicks again, tag to Sasha. Running bulldog INTO the corner. Tag to Naomi. Splash from Sasha then another from Naomi. Cover for 1..NO! Liv breaks it up. Sasha hits knees off the apron! Rhea then flies with a cannonball to Sasha on the outside. Naomi with a surprise flying crossbody to the outside! Naomi helps Sasha up, then hits the apron, rolls in, rolls back out to grab Rhea, hits a leg drop, then a cover for 1..2..NO!!!

We are back to Rhea and her Ripleys in the ring with Naomi. Rhea drops Naomi, both girls crawl to their corners. Tag ot Liv, tag to Sasha. High knee from Sasha, she enters the ring with a rana and hits some knees in the corner, dropping Liv. Some more knees. Sasha hits the ropes, and hits a running boot to the face. Sasha to the top rope. She dives with some knees, a pin for 1…2..NO!!!Sasha tries for a backstabber, Liv rolls her up, Sasha misses a punch, another roll up, gets 1..2..NO!!! Enziguri. Tag to Rhea! They double team Sasha, powerbombing her hard. Rhea covers for 1..2….NO!!!! Another double team sees Rhea tossing Liv onto the mat hard, with no one there to land on.

Naomi sends Rhea to the outside, tag to Naomi, she lifts up Liv, and they hit the codebreaker/facebuster combo. Cover from Naomi gets a 1…2….3!!!

Winner: Sasha Banks and Her Partner
Oh how I’ve missed you, Sasha
Total Rating: *****
Match Time: 8:57

Rhea leaves the ring upset. She walks up the ramp by herself and Kevin Owens music hits.

Owens says he may have made a mistake last night. He exposed his plan and underestimated Steve a little bit, because Austin is still great. You have to be great to beat one of the greatest in Kevin Owens. He is one of the greatest to ever step foot in this ring. When he tricked Steve in having his first match in 19 years, the truth is he tricked himself, too. He went into the match with a bad back injury. The WWE Universe needed him, so he sacrificed his health for all of us. That means that as great as that win was for Steve, the win is tainted, because he was nowhere near 100%.

He is cut off by…Ezekiel?

Whoa. It’s Elias. His hair is shorter, and blown out. He is fresh-shaven.

Owens questions, “Elias? Is that you?”

Elias says, “I am not Elias…”

YES YOU ARE! Chant.

He is Elias’ younger brother. The name is Ezekiel.

Kevin Owens: “What?!”

Lol. Owens says no, he recognizes the eyes, and this is Elias. Ezekiel repeats that he is the younger brother of Elias. Owens tells him to stop lying. He never liked you, tells Elias, Enrique, or Eric, whatever he wants to call himself, he has 10 seconds to get the hell out of the ring.

Owens gets to 1 and leaves the ring.

We return to a recap of The Miz and Logan Paul winning over The Mysterios.

Match 2: The Miz vs Dominik Mysterio

Dom hits the top rope quickly, diving with an arm bar, but Miz ducks under him and hits a Skull Crushing Finale. Whoa…

Winner: The Miz
Well…that was certainly something.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: :26

The Miz celebrates on te top rope, but he is interrupted by…VEER!!!

VEER IS HERE!!!

The Miz leaves the ring quickly. Veer enters the ring, turns his eyes to Dominik, and kicks him hard. Rey defends his son, hitting some rights, hits the ropes, then Veer hits a clothesline! He lifts Rey and drops him wit a side slam. Veer grabs Dom, drops his hip on his back, then pulls back on Dom with a variation of a Camel Clutch. Dom taps, but Veer doesn’t care. He continues to pull on the head of Dominik as Rey tugs on Veer’s leg, begging him to stop.

Bianca Belair comes out after as we go to break.

Bianca wants to thank all of us for believing in her and never giving up on her. She removes her glasses to show the harsh black eye she has. Deeeeyum, that’s a shiner. She stands here with one eye, but thanks Becky, because even all the way back to Summerslam, without that humiliating moment, she would have never realized how much better she can be. She learned that in a snap, it could all be taken away, and that hurt. She didn’t cheat to win, didn’t injure her opponent to get back to the top. She went through hell to get to Mania. Becky tried to take everything away from her. Becky came for her throat, her hair, her eye, and she fought all the way to the end and now has the title. We deserve a better champion, so she became better. She will be the best. She knows how hard it is to stay at the top. She knows what it feels like to have the title take away, so she will never lose it again. She will face every single woman back there and no woman is prepared to do what it takes to take the title, because after Saturday, she is different and better.

Becky should take this down time and find out who she is without the title, because Bianca knows who she is – The EST of WWE.

She holds her title up high and gets some pyro.

We get the super important special announcing before the NXT Title Match.

Dolph smacks Bron before the match starts.

Match 3: NXT Championship Match
Bron Breakker vs Dolph Ziggler
Dolph tries to attack, but Bron hits a right hand then a belly to belly suplex. Bron leaves the ring to follow Dolph, slides back in, and Dolph attacks with elbows. Dolph drops an elbow, yells at him that this is the big leagues, idiot. Whip from Bron, Kick from Dolph, Bron no sells it. He hops over Dolph, then catches him mid air and slams him down hard. Bron catches Dolph by the legs and catapults him into the corner. Shoulders in the corner. Bron sits Dolph on the corner, Dolph slinks underneath and crotches Bron. Dolph with a dropkick sends Bron tumbling to the outside.

We come back to Dolph getting hit with a powerbomb off of a Fameasser attempt. Bron with a right, Dolph with a headbutt, tries for a sleeper, Bron slings him off, shoulder tackle, another, huge kick, belly to belly over the head!! Bron whips Dolph, hits a hard right, and drops the straps! He waits in the corner, but Roode is on the apron, Bron gets distracted, Dolph rolls him up, holds the tights, 1..2….NO!!! clothesline to Dolph! Bron hits the ropes and dives over the top rope onto Roode!!! Bron enters the ring and Dolph hits a running knee. Dolph with a Fameasser! Pin for 1..2….NO!!!! Dolph tries for a superkick ,Bron grabs the leg, lifts Dolph onto his shoulders, Dolph rakes the eyes, Superkick to Bron! Cover for 1..2…..NO!!!! Dolph readies for a Superkick, but Bron hits a huge spear!!!

Bron lifts Dolph high with a press, drops him into a powerslam and a cover for 1..2….3!!!

Winner: Bron Breakker
A good enough match for Bron, and a nice showing near the end there, but the first half left much to be desired.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 10:03

Bron celebrates by holding the title in the air upside down.

MVP is here! He says actions speak louder than words, so here is a man whose actions spoke volumes at Mania. He introduces Lashley out to the ring.

Lashley says he couldn’t resist answering Omos challenge. He had to see how strong and powerful this guy was. He has to admit, he felt hopeless at on point, and he knew the one way to beat him was to take advantage of a mistake, and that’s exactly what happened.

Omos comes to make this a battle of bad promos. He wants a rematch. The win was a fluke.

MVP attacks Lashley from behind!!! He mounts Lashley, says “Oh you didn’t need me?” He orders Omos to lift Lashley. He hooks the arms and MVP slaps him then tells Omos to crush him. OMos with a splash. He then holds him and allows for MVP to hit a running kick to the head. Omos grabs Lashley by the head and slams him down.

Liv meets Rhea backstage, and Rhea says she got them a title shot next week, and thanks Liv for forgiving her. They walk away, arm in arm.

Zelina and Carmella come out as we go to break.

When we return, Zelina grabs the mic from the announcer, and wants to get something straight – Carmella is the one that cost them the titles. She is so preoccupied with herself, and her husband. However, Graves is a very handsome man.

Mella grabs the mic, says that when she announced the marriage, she thought for sure, Vega would be a bridesmaid, but not anymore.

Zelina attacks. Mella runs out of the ring into the arms of Corey Graves. He calms her down, then they make out heavily.

Backstage, The Usos run up on Austin Theory and make fun of him for losing.

Match 4: Finn Balor and RKBro vs Austin Theory and The Usos

Finn is starting with one of The Usos. He attacks with a right, shoots Theory off the apron, hits a shoulder tackle, then a stomp to the chest a few times. Austin tries to slide in and distracts, allowing Finn to get punched in the face. Whip is reversed, sunset flip into a dropkick from Finn. Cover for 1…NO!!! Tag to Riddle. Jimmy corners him, tags in Jey, who attacks with right hands. Tag from Theory. He stomps Riddle in the corner, Corner for 1..2.NO!!! Riddle with a right, another.

Back, and Jey has Riddle hurting in the middle of the ring with a cravat. Riddle turns into the hold, reaches for a tag, hits a right hand, reaches again, Jey drops him hard and pins for 1..2..NO!!!! Jey cheapshots Finn, Randy is pissed. Jey taunts him, and turns into a high knee from Riddle. Riddle tags in Orton! Clothesline, another, powerslam for Jimmy. Orton grabs Jimmy off the apron for the DDT! Theory tagged himself in. Orton hits the DDT. He goes for the RKO, but Theory rolls into the ring and hits a high dropkick. Finn gets a tag, hits a high kik, to the top rope for the finish, misses, Theory grabs him on the shoulders, but Finn reverses with a 1914! Pin for 1..2..NO!!!! Jimmy in! RKO TO JIMMY! Superkick from Jey! Superkick to a flying Riddle!

Finn with a slingblade, Theory hits Finn with the finisher, cover! 1….2…3!!!

Winners: The Usos and Austin Theory
Vince sees Cena in Theory, so there’s no surprise he’s winning, it’s just a shame that the win is over a title holder.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 8:13

Edgertaker is here. He says he is an honest man. He said AJ would face his Judgement, and he did. Edge didn’t expect Damian Priest, but it makes perfect sense. For most of us, thinking is hard. For too long, Priest fought his inner self just like Edge. He tried to be a role model for all of us sheep, just like Edge.

WE ARE SHEEP chant.

Edge calls them idiots. Lol. He demands that we all rise for The Punishment for the Guilty, Damian Priest.

Priest comes out suited.

Edge must ask, what caused Priest to take his career back into his own hands at Mania.

Priest says it goes without saying how much Edge has meant to him for a very long time. Weeks leading into Mania, he was lost.

WE DON’T CARE chant.

There was a time when this would have bothered him, but not anymore. Priest tried to please everyone, but this all changed when he heard Edge’s message. It gave him direction. He knows that the message was for AJ, but Priest felt like he was speaking directly to him. This is why it was so easy to make the decision to pledge his loyalty to Edge.

They share a hearty laugh. Edge says they judged AJ at Mania, and they will pass judgment on anyone who challenges their message. He knows AJ will keep coming. He wanted the pitbull, he got it. But they lack intellect. They only know fight, and do not know flight. Think of your family, AJ, your children. They need…

AJ is here to interrupt. Priest stands in front of Edge. AJ meets Priest down at the bottom of the ramp, hits a right hand, another, sends him into the crowd, then enters the ring and shoots the legs of Edge. He sends Edge into the ringpost shoulder first, another. AJ to the timekeepers area, grabs a chair, and heads back into the ring. AJ looks to attack, but Priest comes in and stomps AJ into the corner. Kicks to AJ over and over as Edge regains composure. Edge is in the corner, waiting, and Priest lifts AJ up for a SPEAR!

Priest tries to do a leg sweep at the same time, which proves to be horrible considering the fact that the spear shoots the opponents legs up. Lol.

They look to hit a Conchairto, but agents come out to stop him. Jamie Noble gets a chant.

The Street Profits are here.

When we come back, The Alpha Academy make their entrance and attack The Street Profits before the match can even start. T

Pearce comes out to make this a Texas Tornado Tag Team Match.

Match 5: The Street Profits vs The Alpha Academy

Everyone save for Ford is outside. He runs up the corner and dives off onto everyone outside. They slide Gable into the ring, an Dawkins covers for 1…NO!!! In comes Otis to attack, but Dawkins corners him with some rights. Stomps and kicks in the corner as Gable is back up and tries fo ra German to Ford. Ford lands on his feet, Gable hooks the leg, Fisherman’s and a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Otis corners Ford, Gable corners Dawkins.

We are back, and Otis reaches under the apron for something. It’s a table, and he pulls it out to the pleasure of the crowd. He sets it up as the crowd chants TABLE. Otis slides it in, and Gable helps him set it up. Gable is taken to the outside by Ford while Otis is taken out by Dawkins. He sends Otis into the steps and Ford climbs the corner. Gable stops him from flying, crotching him on the top. Gable gets to the top rope. He locks the head, but Ford holds on. Gable back flips off the corner, lands on his feet, Dawkins is there with a punch, laying Gable on the table.

Frog Splash from Ford, and he lands hard on Gable! Pin for 1..2..3!!!

Winners: The Street Profits
Seemed like a match for the crowd more than the show, and I suppose that’s alright.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:22

Reigns recap before he comes out.

Roman takes forever and a day to get to the ring.

He knows what we want. They all know why we are here. But we’ll switch things up just a bit. He calls Heyman over to him and wants him to explain The Bloodline’s success.

Heyman with the mic, says the single longest reigning tag team champions, The Usos. The largest box office receipts in the history of Summerslam. The largest of Survivor Series. The first billion dollar grossing year in the history of sports entertainment, and Reigns was on top during all of this.

He is the Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the biggest star in sports-entertainment, undisputed, Roman Reigns.

Reigns grabs the mic, brings up Heyman’s saying, “What’s good for Roman Reigns is good for WWE.” It’s no secret that with him at the head of the table, the billion dollar deals are comin easy. He is the last needle mover, because he is constantly operating at God Mode. Thing is, he is more than that. He is a man of his word. He called his shot, and he deliver. He smashed Brock Lesnar. That’s the past, he wants to talk about the future. Other men, they hang their hat on this weekend, but he is never content, so on Friday, they’ll let us know what the next step is. Until then, Acknowledge Him.

End Show