100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Aniversario & His Amazing Friends

Easton, PA – 5.21.2011

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Eddie Kingston, Gavin Loudspeaker, Wink Vavasseur, Archibald Peck, Leonard F. Chikarason, and UltraMantis Black.

Gavin Loudspeaker plays guitar to open the show, singing “J.A.R. (Jason Andrew Relva)” by Green Day. No modified lyrics, just straight up singing some Green Day.

Hieracon vs. Brodie Lee

Hieracon is wearing a replica mask for his partner Amasis, who suffered injuries in a car accident and will be out indefinitely. Hieracon evades Lee as best he can, but ends up getting trapped in the corner. Lee chops him. Hieracon comes out of the corner with a headscissors and an alita. Hieracon armdrags him to the corner, then gets his head taken off with a lariat from Lee. Lee chokes him with his boot. Lee delivers a delayed vertical suplex for two. Lee lays in a few shots before pitching Hieracon to the floor. Lee follows out. He takes a few strikes from Hieracon, but goes to Hieracon’s eyes to regain control in the ring. Hieracon lays in a series of forearms. Lee mows him down with a shoulder block. Lee hits a pump-handle suplex. Hieracon evades the big boot and hits a sick kick of his own. Hieracon kicks out his legs. Lee punches Hieracon in the head. Hieracon hits a tornado DDT for two. Lee hits the Big Boot and a Running Liger Bomb for the pin at 5:39. This was a glorified squash to build up Lee towards the 12 Large: Summit. My question is, did Lee really need building up? Especially at the expense of the rookie Hieracon? **

Brodie stares down Kingston at the Commentation Station, as they will meet in the 12 Large: Summit in just a couple weeks. Cooler heads prevail and no physical altercation comes to fruition.

Archibald Peck and Veronica are backstage. Peck mocks Frightmare then asks Veronica to cover her ears so he can talk candidly. Peck says the real reason he beat Colt Cabana at King of Trios was because Kingston sent him to the future when Kingston hit him the Backfist to the Future in his debut match. He says in the future he bought a Sports Almanac so he could see who answered his open challenge and other CHIKARA contests. He makes sure Veronica will never watch the DVD so she won’t think he’s crazy.

Frightmare vs. Archibald Peck

Peck runs under the ring, completely afraid of Frightmare (although he tries to play it cool). Peck gets back in the ring, but is shaking too much that he can’t even lock up. Frightmare gives him a dropkick and then a low variation for two. Frightmare hits a step-up enzuigiri in the corner. He tries not to fall, but Frightmare gives him a little shove to knock him down. Peck ducks a pop-up clothesline and begs Frightmare not to hurt him. Peck even kisses his feet. Frightmare refuses, so Peck boots him and rolls him up for two. A gutwrench suplex gets him two. Peck drops Frightmare gut first across his knee. Peck headbutts him in the lower abdomen. Frightmare recovers and lands a step-up Frankensteiner. He hits a yakuza kick. Peck flips to the apron but gets knocked down with an enzuigiri. Peck puts Veronica in the way to block an attack. Peck goes to the other side of the ring where Frightmare catches him with a tope con hilo. Frightmare scares Veronica as Peck recovers. Peck catches Frightmare and crotches him on the bottom turnbuckle. In the ring, Peck hits a spin-out gut buster. He puts on abdominal stretch with a claw. Frightmare escapes and hip tosses him over. Frightmare hits a crucifix bomb for two. Peck boots Frightmare. Frightmare hits a jump-up neckbreaker in response. Peck catches Frightmare on the top rope. Peck lands a super gut buster for two. Peck heads back up top. He misses the Cranial Crescendo. Peck evades the Kneecolepsy. Peck distracts the referee and kicks Frightmare low. Peck hits the B Flat (a backdrop into a facebuster) for the pin at 10:31. There is no one who plays their roll better than Archibald Peck. He and Veronica have their characters down perfectly and the crowd loves them. Even Peck’s exit theme being a marching band version of “Don’t Stop Believing” rules. He and Frightmare had a really fun match and I hope Peck will get a spot in the Young Lions Cup tournament because of it. **3/4

The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield & Sugar Dunkerton) vs. The Batiri (Obariyon & Kodama)

Dunkerton tells Kodama he’s about to “feel the beat down” because they got him three points at King of Trios. Kodama shoves him away. Dunkerton goes chop for punch with him. Dunkerton stops because he thinks they’re going nowhere. Dunkerton tells Kodama that in all his matches their mascara runs. Dunkerton then kicks Kodama in the bottom and crotches him in a tree of woe. Hatfield tags in and baseball slides into him. Dunkerton clotheslines him in the tree of woe. Obariyon comes in and goes back and forth on the ropes with Hatfield. Hatfield trips him, and Obariyon rolls him up for two. Hatfield delivers an overhand chop and tries La Magistral for two. Obariyon bails to the floor. Hatfield goes out for him, but Kodama catches him with a flip neckbreaker on the apron. The Batiri try to double team Hatfield, but Dunkerton dumps Obariyon to the floor. Kodama delivers a hard cannonball senton in the corner for two. Kodama trips Dunkerton into a knee strike from Obariyon for two. As The Batiri are double teaming him, Obariyon catches him with the Flying DDT for the pin at 6:30. The pin came out of nowhere and it was weird that the Throwbacks didn’t get a comeback of any kind. Fun while it lasted, but an odd match for sure. **

Chuck Taylor is backstage. He says he’s not impressed with Mantis’ witchcraft and shenanigans. He claims to be sexy and that he will take it to Mantis in the ring tonight.

UltraMantis Black vs. Chuck Taylor

Mantis sneaks in from behind Taylor and taps him on the shoulder. He throws his trenchoat on Taylor’s head and rolls him up for two. Taylor rolls to the floor after a bodyslam. He tells Mantis that Crossbones is behind him, then attacks when Mantis turns away. Taylor lands on his feet after missing a moonsault, but falls to the ground to feign injury. He rolls up Mantis for two. Mantis grabs his leg, feigning injury as well. Mantis delivers a Manhattan Drop and throws Taylor head first into three corners. Taylor reverses on the fourth. Mantis crotches Taylor and slams him head first in the top turnbuckle for two. Taylor bites Mantis in the shoulder and chokes him with his boot. Taylor escapes a tornado DDT and applies an arm-capture headscissors on the mat. Upon escape, Taylor bites Mantis’ shoulder and hand. Mantis chops Taylor until Taylor bails to the floor. Mantis follows out and continues with the chops. They fight outside the building to the playground nearby. Taylor comes down a slide and gets caught with a chop on his way down. Mantis throws Taylor over the fence and onto the grass. They come back to the building where Taylor hits a sole butt. They knock each other down with stereo running overhand chops. Mantis delivers Mongolian Chops and a pair of clotheslines in the corner. On the top rope, Taylor chops Mantis down to the floor. He misses a crossbody, allowing Mantis to try a seatbelt pin for two. Taylor hits two boots and rolls him up for two. Taylor gets two with a uranage. Mantis blocks the Awful Waffle. Taylor delivers Sole Food. Mantis hits the Praying Mantis Driver for the pin at 9:30. This was another fun match, which I am happy to see since CHIKARA seemed to stray from these types of matches for awhile. It was also great to see Taylor in a singles match again since we never see those either. And of course, the use of a playground always gets kudos from me. **3/4

Sinn “Kizarny” Bodhi is backstage, saying Kingston must be nuts to try as start a fight with him. Bodhi then comes out to address the crowd. Bodhi notes that he called himself the “bi-polar birthday clown” during the King of Trios pre-show, which upset a lot of people since many fans thought that it was a thinly veiled jab to the recently deceased Larry Sweeney. Bodhi admits ignorance, saying the only thing he knew about Sweeney was that his death created a somber atmosphere in the locker room during Trios weekend. Bodhi says he’s been a wrestling fan forever and he knows that wrestling fans are quick to judge. He says that he’s apologizing to put the fans and wrestlers at ease, citing his best friend Shawn Osborne who committed suicide as a source to prove that he would not poke fun at the death of a fellow wrestler. Bodhi says all he wants to do is entertain and respect those wrestlers who have passed. He says the rumor is that he’s facing Kingston as punishment, but he’s a tough guy and Kingston won’t scare him away. Kingston comes out and the match is on.

Eddie Kingston vs. Sinn “Kizarny” Bodhi

Kingston lays in a few punches, but Bodhi hits back (as promised). He dumps Kingston to the floor and follows. Kingston delivers in a series of punches. In the ring, Kingston hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Bodhi goes back to the floor again. Bodhi throws Kingston’s arm into the ring post. Bodhi focuses his attack on Kingston’s arm back in the ring. Kingston and Bodhi trade strikes on their feet. Bodhi knocks him down with a double thrust to the throat. Bodhi stretches his arm out in the ropes. They trade blows on their feet. Kingston forearm smashes Bodhi with his good arm. Bodhi drops Kingston whilst trapping his arm to the floor. Bodhi hits a running hip attack and throws Kingston to the floor. He leans back like a bat and chops Kingston. Kingston throws Bodhi into a row of fans feet. Bodhi brings Kingston back into the ring with a Fujiwara armbar. Kingston turns the hold into a Guillotine choke. Bodhi tries to escape, but ends up passing out at 6:43. This was an appropriately hard hitting match that also put over Kingston’s shiny new finisher. **1/2

The Colony (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant & Green Ant) & Madison Eagles vs. Die Brüderschaft des Kreuzes (Ares, Daizee Haze, Pinkie “Pink Ant” Sanchez & Jakob Hammermeier)

Soldier Ant takes the opening exchange with Ares, after a slight assist from Fire Ant. He sends Ares to the floor with a salutign headscissors. Green Ant and Sanchez tag in. They aggressively lock up, only for no one to win the exchange. Green Ant hits a wheelbarrow armdrag and monkey flips Sanchez to his corner. Soldier Ant drops Sanchez onto Green Ant’s knee, and Fire Ant delivers an armdrag. Green Ant puts Sanchez in a modified stump puller. Hammermeier comes in and puts on a headlock. A chain of submissions is created involving everyone in the bout. Soldier Ant has a wristlock on Haze, and grabs members of the audience to add extra pressure. The referee forces the chain to break. The Colony and Eagles send the BDK to the floor. The BDK thwart their plans to dive onto them. Fire Ant gets trapped in the ring, getting worn down by the BDK in their corner. Finally, Fire Ant is able to evade an attack and roll to the floor. Green Ant headbutts Ares and Sanchez. He slams Sanchez and grabs Haze by her hair. Hammermeier chop blocks his leg out, and now Green Ant is the one who’s isolated from his team. The BDK target his knee as they prevent Green Ant from making a tag. Sanchez lays in some headbutts, only causing pain to himself and allowing Green Ant to fire up. Green Ant hits a headbutt of his own and tags in Soldier Ant. He elbows Ares and Sanchez down. He gives Sanchez a Samoan Drop and tags in Eagles. She and Soldier Ant double biel Ares out of the corner and knock Hammermeier and Haze off the apron. All four members of the Tecnico team attack Sanchez in the corner. The Colony and Eagles hit the Ants Marching dropkick in the corner. The BDK recoups on the floor, only for The Colony to throw up Fire Ant onto them with the Ant Hill. Haze comes in from behind and schoolgirls Eagles for two. Haze gets kicked in the chest and Soldier Ant puts her in a modified Boston Crab. Sanchez hits a hip attack to Eagles. Sanchez asks her for a kiss but gets kicked in the head instead. Hammermeier throws her to the floor. Haze slap Green Ant as he goes for Hammermeier. Green Ant trips her and applies an ankle lock. Ares drops him with a full nelson slam and a Blue Thunder Driver for two. Hammermeier and Sanchez deliver a modified Demolition Decapitation. Ares follows with a senton splash and Fire Ant breaks the pin. Fire Ant drops Sanchez with a spike Beach Break. Soldier Ant drops Haze with a TKO after she throws Fire Ant out. Hammermeier trips Soldier Ant as he tries to go up top. Green Ant puts Hammermeier in a torture rack. Ares breaks it and delivers a Tiger Driver to score the pin at 24:21. Although this went long, it never got boring and had enough action to remain interesting throughout. This particular BDK unit worked together particularly well for some reason, and The Colony and Eagles made for a formidable quartet too. ***1/4

”12 Large: Summit” Tournament Match (Block A)
Mike Quackenbush (0 Points) vs. Hallowicked (0 Points)

Both men trade holds on the mat. Hallowicked throws Quack over with a double-grasp armdrag. Quack grapevines Hallowicked’s legs. Hallowicked reverses into an ankle twist. Chikarason and Mantis on commentary passively ponder who voted for Hallowicked, if both Hallowicked and Frightmare and Hallowicked voted for Mantis. Meanwhile, Hallowicked traps Quack in a headscissors. Quack pops out and accidentally hits the ropes with his feet. Hallowicked delivers a couple different armdrags. Hallowicked stretches Quack’s back across his knee. Quack turns over and spins Hallowicked out with just his feet. Quack sits down to block an Irish whip. Quack evades a few attacks and small packages Hallowicked for two. Quack snapmares him over and Hallowicked pops him up. Hallowicked sends Quack to the floor with a step-up Frankensteiner and follows with a suicide dive. Quack responds with an Asai moonsault to the floor. In the ring, Quack traps Hallowicked’s arm and then kicks it away. Quack does considerable damage to Hallowicked’s arm in a variety of ways. Hallowicked runs the ropes to escape a courting hold, armdragging Quack out. Hallowicked hits a step-up enzuigiri and a snap neckbreaker for two. Hallowicked pulls Quack’s neck and upper back across his knee. Hallowicked puts on a cravate and snapmares Quack to the mat. He drops Quack with a cravate buster. Quack catches Hallowicked on the top rope and superplexes him. Hallowicked rolls to the floor, and Quack catches him with a springboard tope con hilo. In the ring, Hallowicked ducks a plam strike and drops Quack with a Rydeen Bomb. He hits a Michinoku Driver for two. Quack blocks the Gravewayrd Smash and a yakuza kick. Hallowicked delivers a step-up enzuigiri in the corner. Hallowicked rolls through Quack’s counter to a powerbomb for two. Quack takes Hallowicked over with a headscissors roll. Hallowicked blocks a super snapmare. Hallowicked tries for the Quackendrier I. Quack slips off and hits a palm strike. He then hits the Quackendriver IV for two. Quack tries the Graveyard Smash but Hallowicked fights him off. He then hits an Air Raid Crash for two. Hallowicked connects with the Quackendriver I. Quack rolls Hallowicked multiple times for two. They flip around in multiple pinfall attempts, only getting two. Finally, Hallowicked catches Quack in a forward leg-capture prawn hold for the pin at 18:50. This was an awesome back and forth match between two of the best CHIKARA has to offer. I loved that they tried to psych each other out by using each others big moves. The fans gave this a big round of applause and for good reason. A tremendous way to kick off the 12 Large: Summit. ***3/4

Vin Gerard is backstage smiling. He says he’s feeling great about tonight’s match. Suddenly, Wink Vavasseur runs in front of the camera with STIGMA angrily following. It turns out STIGMA found out that Vin Gerard did not vote for him in the 12 Large: Summit, but instead voted for someone he figured he could beat (not revealing who that person is). Gerard tries to convince STIGMA that the important thing is that they win tonight or else they have to split up for good. STIGMA just says “let’s go” and walks away.

Losing Team Must Split Forever
3.0. (Scott “Jagged” Parker & Shane Matthews) vs. The UnStable (Vin Gerard & STIGMA)

Both teams brawl on the floor before the bell. Gerard fights near Matthews’ girlfriend, asking if she wants to see what a “real man is”. STIGMA backdrops Matthews near the ring announcer’s table. Wink Vavasseur comes ringside trying to restore order. He calls for the bell so that both teams have to get back into the ring or else be counted out. Gerard gets chased around by Matthews ad STIGMA boots Jagged in the ring. STIGMA delivers the facewash. Matthews gets the crowd to chant “DEFENSE!” as the UnStable continue to beat Jagged down. Jagged gives Gerard a neckbreaker and enzuigiri, but STIGMA dropkicks him in the back of the head and knocks Matthews off the apron. Jagged is able to reverse a superplex and deliver a twisting neckbreaker to STIGMA mid-air. Gerard goes out to Matthews’s girlfriend, causing Matthews to immediately chase after him. Gerard runs back in the ring and chokes Jagged. Jagged squirms out of the Stigmata and tags in Matthews. Matthews gives STIGMA the headscissors and knocks Gerard to the floor. Matthews powerbombs STIGMA. Jagged throws Gerard in the ring to Matthews. Matthews punches him down in the corner and hits a lariat. STIGMA knocks down Jagged with a back elbow and drops Matthews with a DDT. Jagged drops STIGMA with a Gory Bomb. Gerard gives Jagged a 2k1 Bomb for two. Matthews crotches Gerard on the top rope. He delivers a super German suplex. Jagged lights up STIGMA with forearms. He accidentally knocks down referee Bryce Remsburg with a sick kick. STIGMA hits the Air Raid Crash on Jagged, but Bryce can’t make the count. STIGMA goes for the Stigmata on the apron. Matthews blocks and drops him with a uranage on the apron. Gerard kicks Matthews in the groin. STIGMA drops him with the Stigmata. Gerard shoves STIGMA out of the way to pin Matthews, but only gets a two count. Gerard instructs STIGMA to get Matthews’ girlfriend. STIGMA grabs her by the wrist, but then let’s her go. STIGMA leaves through the back door, no doubt mad at Gerard for what he found out earlier. Gerard grabs the girl and brings her towards the ring. She slaps Gerard allowing Jagged to throw him into the ring. Matthews and Jagged pummel Gerard on the mat. Jagged blasts him with a knee before they hit the Sweet Taste of Professionalism twice. Matthews drops Gerard with a piledriver for the pin at 14:28, effectively ending The UnStable for good. The story was well told and the raw emotion from Matthews seemed very genuine. This had a tough act to follow but managed to do an admiral job. ***

The 411: This is one of those shows where you can take my star ratings with a grain of salt. This show was an absolute blast to watch. Guys like Archibald Peck and Chuck Taylor really know how to play the comedic heel and delivered two matches that were purely joyful to watch. In addition, the Atomicos and 12 Large: Summit matches provide the fantastic wrestling that CHIKARA has slowly become known for as well. Seriously, Quack vs. Hallowicked in my mind is a must watch. Wrap the show up with a feel-good triump over the dastardly Rudos, and you have yourself a show that you will enjoy if you choose to pick it up. I recommend doing so. Be sure to check out all of my CHIKARA reviews at my CHIKARA blog; "The CHIKARA Special" and all the CHIKARA news over at "The CHIKARA Special" Tumblr.

Final Score:  7.5   [ Good ]