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4/20 Massacre Review
Loading...4/20 Massacre Review
Jamie Bernadette– Jess
Vanessa Rose Parker– Aubrey
Stacey Danger– Donna
Justine Wachsberger– Rachel
Marissa Pistone– Michelle
Jim Storm– Ranger Rick
James Gregory– The Shape
Mark Schroeder– Buddy
Drew Talbert– Dug
Jim Round– Roy
Directed by Dylan Reynolds
Screenplay by Dylan Reynolds
Distributed by Film Chest
Rated R for graphic violence, language, and rampant drug use
Runtime– 84 minutes
Buy it here
4/20 Massacre, written and directed by Dylan Reynolds, is a tight, well-made bit of slasher/survival horror where a group of women go camping in the woods and end up being stalked by a knife wielding psycho decked out in some kind of camo netting. It’s a little too talky at times, but when the killer shows up the movie kicks itself into high gear, even if it’s only for a few seconds. That’s exactly what you want out of a low budget slasher flick.
The movie stars Jamie Bernadette as Jess, one of five friends heading to the woods to go camping on “4/20 weekend.” Now, “4/20 weekend” is a big deal to only one of the five women, pot head Donna (Stacey Danger). The other women, Aubrey (Vanessa Rose Parker), Rachel (Justine Wachsberger), and Michelle (Marissa Pistone) are mostly there for the comradery, drinking, and, yeah, they’ll smoke a little if someone has some. Jess is the only one who seems to be personally adamant about staying away from drugs. While walking to the campsite, the women run into Buddy (Mark Schroeder), a terrified young man carrying a backpack. Buddy gives the girls the backpack and runs away, never giving up why he’s so scared. We, the audience, know why Buddy is scared, and we know what’s in the backpack, too. At the very beginning of the movie, we see Buddy and his pal Dug (Drew Talbert) discover a stash of pot in the woods. They take a good chunk of the stuff and are immediately attacked by the camo killer (the Shape, as played by James Gregory). Buddy escapes, Dug doesn’t. And when Buddy gives up the backpack he thinks that that’s all he needs to do to stay safe. Unfortunately for Buddy, that just isn’t the case.
When the five friends find their campsite they settle down and try to have a good time. They eat, they drink, they talk about life and love and whatnot. They even smoke some of the pot in the backpack. It’s exactly what most of them wanted to do.
And that’s when the hooey hits the fan. After dispatching Buddy and taking out an unlucky hunter, the Shape goes after the women, stalking them one by one. At first, the women have no idea what’s going on. They’re busy living their lives, with Aubrey trying to put the moves on Jess and Rachel and Michelle engaging in some playful woman-on-woman exploration. Donna, again, is totally interested in smoking up and relaxing.
Now, while all of that is going on, forest ranger Rick (Jim Storm) is roaming the woods, trying to track down the camo killer, who he seems to know in some capacity. Ranger Rick (ha!) ran into the women while they were walking to the campsite and told them all about how the local woods are full of criminal pot operations and that they need to be on the lookout for them. The women don’t pay much attention to the warning because, well, why would they? Why the hell would there be an illegal pot growing operation in this neck of the woods?
Will Ranger Rick stop the Shape before he claims more victims? Will the five female friends be able to fend off the camo killer while stuck in unfamiliar surroundings?
The amount of talking the female friends do could alienate some slasher movie fans as there are long stretches where very little stalk and slash happens. When the killer does show up, though, and kills someone, there’s plenty of blood and nastiness to be seen, so it does have that going for it. The relationships within the female fivesome are interesting, especially the lesbian angle, mostly because you rarely ever see that. And the lesbian angle isn’t there to solely provide titillation for the male audience members who like watching that kind of thing. These women like one another “like that,” more or less, and the whole thing comes off as sweet as opposed to hot. I’d imagine that any other low budget slasher movie featuring lesbian relationships and potential sex in the woods would have gone with full bore hotness and while it would have been fun to look at it wouldn’t have been as emotionally fulfilling. There’s nothing wrong with doing something like that, it’s just not what 4/20 Massacre is interested in.
The best kill? Watch for a bit where the killer rams a bong through a person’s head. There are also a few decapitations that hit the spot.
The performances are all generally good. No one really overplays their character, even Danger as pothead Donna, a part that easily could have been over the top and ridiculous. Danger is easily the funniest of the cast. Jamie Bernadette does a fine job as the lead female Jess. And Justine Wachsberger and Marissa Pistone kick it up a notch when they decide to go for a walk alone in the woods.
And then there’s Vanessa Rose Parker’s Aubrey. Watching her fret and figure out how she wants to tell Jess about her feelings for her will make you fall in love with her. It’s a damn shame what happens to her. It really is.
And Jim Storm? The man knows how to be cranky. That’s always fun to watch when done right.
4/20 Massacre is a well-made, low budget slasher flick. Sure, it’s a tad too talky and could use more killing, but if you like slasher flicks and survival horror stories it’s definitely worth checking out.
See 4/20 Massacre. See it, see it, see it.
So what do we have here?
Dead bodies: 9
Explosions: None.
Nudity?: None.
Doobage: Guys walking through a forest, bags of pot, impromptu pot smoking, throat slitting, major blood spatter, more walking in the woods, a woman who apparently likes to be in the trunk of a car, a dire warning, a map, a big bag of pot, a very gross disemboweling, a bit where people listen to music while trying to figure out how to put up a tent, girl shit, hot dog buns with seeds on them, eye destruction, burping, a full body throw, a giant pipe to smoke weed in, multiple bottles of champagne, running, weed pipe jammed right through the mouth and out the back of the head, cocaine snorting, attempted lesbianism, actual lesbianism, broken champagne bottle through the eye, crossbow hooey, arrow to the leg, bloody arrow removal, a sad story, decapitation, dirt to the eye, off screen eye removal, more gutting, knife to the side of the neck, another decapitation, more crossbow hooey, and some sweet joint smoking.
Kim Richards?: None.
Gratuitous:A complete misunderstanding of the U.S. Constitution, a bag inside of a bag, a Back to the Future reference, a Jason Voorhees/Friday the 13th reference, a mention of the Wrong Turn franchise, a guy named Ranger Rick, “Libtards,” an explanation on how to turn a cigar into a joint, list of bad shit that has happened on April 20th over the years, condiments, a total lack of potato chips, champagne in the woods, lesbianism in multiple forms, crossbow hooey, talk about what a person experiences after he or she actually loses his or her head, and some sweet joint smoking.
Best lines: “Come on, Buddy, move your ass,” “I ain’t listening to a word you’re saying,” “Where we’re going we don’t need roads,” “Damn, you really do smoke a lot of weed, don’t you?,” “You’re such a playa, you know that?,” “Officer, what do you take me for, a pig?,” “Would you happen to have a beer down there?,” “Are you serious? Like a heart attack,” “I may have sweated on it a little,” “I thought sasquatches were supposed to avoid people,” “They call you Buddy?,” “Holy crap balls!,” “Yeah, that’s a lot of weed,” “You got something you want to say to me?,” “What are, the weed fairy?,” “I can’t wait to blaze you up,” “Wow! You share a birthday with Hitler?,” “No offense, but I think you officially smoked yourself retarded,” “What’ the point of knowing ninjitsu and shit if you can’t show off a little?,” “I am officially switching to water,” “We should go skinny dipping,” “I’m not scared, I’m realistic,” “I missed you, Jess,” “I’m not mad, you just surprised me,” “So you, like, like me?,” “I don’t think I can do this!,” “You know I hear your whispering,” “Oh, we’ve got a real live one here,” “That fucking bitch!,” “Hey, who the fuck is this guy?,” “I don’t smoke. That’s a pity. This is some good shit,” and “Are you ready to die? Are you?”
