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The 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week: President Donald Trump

March 17, 2020 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz
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The 411mania Dumpster Fire of the Week

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the latest edition of The 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week. I’m Bryan Kristopowitz.

So what did you all think of the audience free Smackdown! episode this past Friday?

On one hand, I appreciated the WWE’s attempt at providing new, live programming since just about everything else in the world cancelled/postponed itself because of the coronavirus pandemic. In the big scheme of things it probably wasn’t wise, especially since we’re all being told that we need to engage in “social distancing” in order to hinder the spread of the virus, but the selfish part of me was glad that there was something new on TV to watch.

On the other hand, as the show progressed, it was obvious that pro wrestling doesn’t really work without a live audience. The occasional “empty arena match” to end a feud/escalate a feud/continue a storyline? That can work, sure. But an entire 2 hour show? That doesn’t really work at all. It’s just bizarre. And with Monday Night Raw set to do the same thing on Monday, how the hell is that going to work for three hours? How many “let’s take a look back at” segments are they going to have to do to make that show work? The only segment that really worked on Smackdown! was the last one with John Cena and Bray Wyatt. Who on the Raw roster can do the same thing?

I’m curious to find out.

So who liked the audience free Smackdown!? What would you like to see WWE and any other wrestling promotion that ends up trying to do the same thing (will AEW still have an audience for this week’s relocated episode of Dynamite?)? And, hell, do you think anyone should be doing this in the first place?

And now onto this week’s Dumpster Fire of the Week.

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This week, the 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week goes to Dumpster Fire Hall of Famer, 2019 Dumpster Fire of the Year, and (Jesus Christ) 45th President of the United States, Donald Trump, for that appalling press conference this past Friday. While I think it’s true that damn near every press conference the President has ever given has been appalling on one level or another, the one he held from, I believe, the Rose Garden this past Friday was yet another example of how terrible he is at his job.

First, there was his claim that he “didn’t know” that his administration had disbanded the pandemic response unit within the National Security Council. How could he not know that that happened? Is he saying that his then national security advisor, John Bolton, didn’t tell him about it/didn’t discuss it with him/the President didn’t have a meeting about it at some point either before the unit was disbanded or afterwards? Is the President saying that he didn’t see a report about on the TV news/in a newspaper/on the internets? How is that possible, since that story was widely reported all over the place?

Nope. The President claims he doesn’t know anything about it, he takes no responsibility for disbanding it (a government entity that Anthony Fauci, his leader at the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, has said would have helped with what the country is dealing with now), and believes that it’s a “nasty question” to ask if he accepts any responsibility for it.

Second, there was his claim that Google was working on a website that would help people figure out if they needed to get tested for the coronavirus/Covid-19 when, in fact, Google wasn’t working on anything. A subsidiary of Google was in the very early stages of creating something and the potential site in question was still a long ways off. Why did he give people false information?

Third, there was the reasoning behind the press conference. On Wednesday night, two days before, the President addressed the nation from the Oval Office in an attempt to calm down both people and the financial markets. Unfortunately, instead of doing anything good, the speech, which was horrendous, just made things worse. Why didn’t he change tactics after that God awful national address? Why did he decide to go before the cameras again and continue to make things even worse?

And fourth, the President shook multiple people’s hands at that press conference, deliberately doing one of the things his own team has told people not to do. And when you consider that the President was around people at his Mar-a-Lago resort that have tested positive for the coronavirus, the President’s hand shaking is mind boggling. Why the fuck would he do that?

So what is the takeaway from all of this? That he still isn’t taking the virus threat seriously, even after declaring a national emergency? That he still wants everyone to believe that, deep down, it’s all a hoax meant to destroy him and only him? That he, deep down, just doesn’t give a shit? I don’t know. The only thing I’m sure of is, as I said earlier, he really is terrible at his job. Really, really terrible.

And he’s going to be re-elected. Again, let that sink in. He is going to be re-elected. Even after all of this.

Jesus fucking Christ.

**

And now for this week’s honorable mentions…

Mike Pence, the current Vice-President of the United States, for demanding an end to “irresponsible rhetoric” on the coronavirus while continuing to pal around with Dumpster Fire Hall of Famer, ultra-right wing radio show host, and drug addict Rush Limbaugh, who continues to downplay the seriousness of the coronavirus. That pretty much sums up the world, doesn’t it? Even in the face of massive potential danger, bullshit always wins. Always.

All of those motherfuckers engaging in hoarding and price gouging of critical supplies, for hoarding and price gouging. The people named in the article are, obviously, not the only ones out there engaging in this despicable behavior, but that shouldn’t lessen any scorn heaped upon them because what they’ve done is cruel, irresponsible, and just plain wrong. But then we are dealing with human beings here, and as we’ve seen, over and over again, human beings are just terrible.

Matt Gaetz, Republican U.S. Congressperson from Florida, for wearing a gas mask on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives in order to mock the seriousness of the coronavirus. Gaetz appeared in last week’s Dumpster Fire of the Week after it was revealed that one of his constituents died from coronavirus exposure after his House floor stunt, and he gets a repeat appearance this week after he had to self-quarantine as he may have been exposed to the coronavirus at a political convention. And the most amazing part of this is Representative Gaetz will learn absolutely nothing from this. Nothing.

-Dumpster Fire Hall of Famer, ultra-right wing loonbag, and professional conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, for being the latest flimflam man caught trying to sell a non-existent cure to the coronavirus. Am I surprised that Jones, who was recently pulled over for driving while intoxicated and arrested, has been selling dangerous bullshit to his gullible listeners? Not really. It’s still pretty galling, though. It’s also obvious that this guy, just in case you didn’t know already, has absolutely no shame at all. What a piece of garbage.

**

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