411 Fact or Fiction Wrestling: Will Ronda Rousey Lose at WWE MITB?

Welcome back to 411 Fact or Fiction, Wrestling Edition! Stuff happened, people loved/hated it and let everyone else know. I pick through the interesting/not so interesting tidbits and then make 411 staff members discuss them for your pleasure. Battling this week are 411’s Jake Chambers & Ken Hill.

Questions were sent out Tuesday.

Participants were told to expect wrestling-related content, as well as possible statements on quantum physics, homemade pharmaceuticals, the Turtle Total Trip Theorem, pizza and hydroponics.

1. Shinsuke Nakamura will win the WWE Title at WWE MITB.

Jake Chambers: FACT – I fully expect Nakamura to win the WWE Title because of one massive analogy: the billion-dollar WWE TV rights deals. Stay with me for a minute here. The WWE has been producing incredibly lame TV shows that only seem to get worse by the week, which are possibly losing viewers, or at best have leveled off to a satisfactory average, and the company shows no sign of either listening to any criticism or doing anything independently innovative. Despite all of this, they earned the biggest financial reward in company history for long-term deals to air these terrible TV shows. To the average human mind, this has gotta seem insanely irrational. Therefore, in a reality where we can longer compute how success = excellence, the boring-ass 2018 version of Shinsuke Nakamura should easily be able to win the WWE Title. Even though AJ Styles is working at the same level of “Mediocrity Era” lazy competence these days, Nakamura will likely be rewarded after the WWE specifically tasked him with “turning heel” over the past couple months, which apparently doesn’t need to be accompanied with interesting performances, a new in-ring style, or any kind of discernible motivation; it just means screwing up your face, hitting a guy with low blows, and tweaked entrance music. Nakamura has fulfilled this basic request from management, wrestled a series of average PPV matches, and fans seemingly know his name, thus meeting all the criteria for a sell-out to find main roster success in 2018.

Ken Hill: FACT – You’re getting off on these modal verbs, aren’t you Larry? I can’t see how this feud ends on a proper note without Shinsuke winning the championship. If the purpose of his turn to “Darth Naka-Cock” was to play the long game in wearing down Styles’ mental faculties to the point where he comes out with the title and leaves Styles down for the count, then it truly does have to happen. Otherwise, all of the mind games and storyline buildup means bupkis. That goes for the match itself as well. The feud has admittedly been somewhat under whelming in terms of the matches, but has kept fans immersed with a simple but effective storyline of the now-evil nut-shotting nemesis Nakamura getting his eventual comeuppance at the hands of a disrespected Styles. Last Man Standing has more often than not served as the shocking, thrilling finale to an intense rivalry (Cena-Edge, Cena-Wyatt, Asuka-Cross, Jericho-HHH to name a few). If there was ever a time Shinsuke needed to put on his working boots, this would be it. If he can’t put his best foot (and knee) forward for his biggest WWE match to date, then I honestly don’t know what else will make him rise to the occasion, as everything since his main roster arrival has felt rather mailed in.

2. Ronda Rousey will lose at WWE MITB.

Jake Chambers: FACT – The WWE seems to work overtime to book the most backwards scenarios possible. Brock Lesnar, this unmotivated, out-of-shape, unpopular, older “star” gets to portray a killer MMA badass who is allowed to do nothing and remain a main event level champion, but what are they going to do with a passionate and popular superstar athlete in her prime who desperately wants to be there? Probably make her look like an idiot. I think the WWE is going to have Rousey lose by “fuck up”. I imagine them doing a story like this: Rousey isn’t ready to wrestle yet, so she does something too MMA and gets disqualified. Going forward, they will imply that Rousey doesn’t “understand” the pro-wrestling style, got an undeserved title shot, and will have to train and work her way back into contention. Whether it’s this scenario or another of equal stupidity, that’s the kind of faith I have in WWE creative to find a way to ruin Rousey as quickly as they can.

Ken Hill: FACT – I get WWE trying to capitalize on Ronda’s name and star power from the get go, but shunting her into a title match versus someone in Nia Jax, who isn’t a proven commodity outside of her “positive self-image” gimmick, isn’t exactly the route I’d have taken with the Rowdy One, mk II. What makes the feud even more confounded is that WWE is once again wishy-washy with the character buildup, one week having Nia as the cocky big heel who finds Ronda’s intimidation tactics ‘cute’, but then having her show real concern over supposedly injuring Rousey’s friend Nattie, something you’d think Nia would be instead harping on Ronda about, building up guilt and regret within Ronda in order to play more mind games with her *sigh*. While I’d rather the two ladies simply beat each other up to the point of a double countout or another non-finish, I think Nattie will be the unwanted x-factor here, getting vengeance on Nia for “injuring” her and “accidentally” costing her bestie Ronda her title opportunity via DQ, starting up the Rousey-Natalya summertime feud that WWE apparently thinks we’ll be interested in.

3. You are surprised that CM Punk & Colt Cabana won in court against Dr. Amman.

Jake Chambers: FACT – It seemed ridiculous to me that this WWE puppet could have won given the facts in the case and precedents in U.S. defamation lawsuits. But is the world logical? Hell no! And how often do a few individuals fight the system and win? Sure, Dr. Amman was supposedly personally motivated here, but didn’t we all assume the WWE was behind the lawsuit in a desperate hope of screwing with Punk. “Hey, it’s a frivolous case but we can bankroll even a coin flip if we want, and maybe our lawyers will catch the jury on the right day with the right argument!” Wasn’t the whole point of CM Punk’s quite frankly transcendentally punk appearance on the podcast in question that the WWE is inherently corrupt and succeeding despite itself? And hasn’t this, in fact, continued to play out before our eyes to sickening extremes over the years since? The WWE is a business built on subverting the rules for financial gain, as most corporations are, and have exploited their power imbalance over workers for decades with no consequence. So then, yes, I was surprised that Punk and Colt “won” the case brought against them for talking freely about the bullshit perpetrated on them by an uncaring, uncreative, and predatory business.

Ken Hill: FICTION – Not in the slightest. Amann made it clear from the opening statements that the podcast itself wasn’t what hurt him emotionally (rather, it was the Twitter trolls at work), Punk and Cabana didn’t even mention Amann directly throughout the entire podcast, and Amann also stated that it didn’t affect him from a career standpoint or financially, and yet he was hoping for a near $4 million payout based on the podcast’s total streams and punitive damages, all because his poor wittle feelings got hurt? Never mind he essentially admitted to distributing antibiotics without a prescription and disseminated info about a client’s medical records without the client’s consent. If anything, Amann should count his blessings considering the court essentially made a wash of the whole matter and neither side had to pay squat, and Punk decided to just let sleeping dogs lie rather than pursue any sort of legal retribution for Amann’s basic invasion of privacy. This was a petty parting shot by WWE and nothing else, and Vince whiffed big time on it, which makes it even more pathetic. The only thing Punk was guilty of coming out of this was that he exaggerated the size of the staph infection (which we all pretty much called from the get-go anyway), so as far as I’m concerned, I’m glad Punk won and he can finally close the door on Vince and WWE.

SWITCH!

4. Who will win the women’s MITB match and why?

Ken Hill: SASHA BANKS – If I’m going with the seeming online consensus of a RAW woman and a SD man winning their respective MITB matches, then Sasha would be my ideal choice for the women’s match. Alexa just came off her middle-of-the-road feud with Nia, Ember in my mind is still too fresh having just arrived on the main roster, and the bloom on Natalya is so far gone, she might as well be mulch at this point. The only real intrigue there would be on the RAW women’s side aside from Sasha would be if Nattie’s “injury” opened up the door for Bayley to jump in as a last-minute replacement, hopefully giving her Everlasting Gobstopper of a feud with Sasha a proper kickstart. Plus, it would free up Nattie to be in her bestie’s corner versus Nia and ultimately muck things up for Ronda, as I elaborated on earlier.

Jake Chambers: No One – The Women’s Royal Rumble was definitely fun and interesting, I think we can all agree on that, but there was no real point to winning that match. And this is the same problem with the Women’s Money in the Bank. So I think “No One” is going to win this time… just like last year. Let me explain.

The rosters for the women were already small before the brand split, but divided now they’re tiny. There are only about 2-3 potential title contenders (at best) on each brand for either women’s title, and they’re all likely to cycle through PPV title shots this year, no briefcase needed. And when they’ve got a small roster, it just takes the WWE a couple of weeks to build-up a perennial loser, like Nia Jax, into a champion. So going through all this trouble just to win a title shot makes absolutely no logical sense for the top contenders. Asuka, for example, won the Royal Rumble match despite being the odds on favorite to challenge for her respective belt at WrestleMania regardless, and now at this upcoming PPV she’s receiving another title match even though she lost clean at WrestleMania and has beaten no one of note since. So why would Charlotte or Alexa Bliss want to go through the dangers of a multi-person ladder match for the chance at a title shot that they are likely going to get numerous times in the coming months anyways? Last year the WWE set a precedent of having “No One” win when James Ellsworth’s interference created such anger within the fanbase that they had to nullify the entire match and do it over. This is what the WWE likes way more than just presenting a great match: controversy to make super fans angry. You know what’s better than ANY multi-person ladder match? Sasha Banks vs. Bayley at NXT Takeover Brooklyn. An awesome singles match would be a great way to decide a contender for the top titles, no? But as long as the WWE is invested in producing pleasure-denying events minus the tantric pay-off, I expect them to do something “controversial” here, where no one wins, we all get angry and then tune the next night to find out how they will futilely try to claw themselves out of another creative hole.

5. Who will win the men’s MITB match and why?

Ken Hill: THE MIZ – This is a choice I am making based purely on long-term storyline potential. Right now, you have Miz in a “holding pattern” feud with the New Day going into the Men’s MITB match, while Daniel Bryan is trying to shake a lumbering 7-foot, nonsensically-speaking monkey named Big Cass off of his back going into their not-so-vaunted rematch at the PPV. Miz shocks everyone as only the second man in history to win two MITB matches, crowing for weeks and teasing Nakamura about how he’ll be the one to usurp the championship and prove he, The Miz, is the one true “A-List Artist” of WWE. He’s almost ignorant of Bryan, who once again fends off Big Cass, refocusing and lining himself up for a WWE Championship opportunity at SummerSlam, looking to recreate the magic he had in his shocking clean win over Cena in 2013, catching Miz and more importantly Nakamura off guard by vaulting himself into #1 Contendership, perhaps with a strong, clean win over former champion AJ Styles, then going to SummerSlam, where history repeats in more than one way: Bryan does indeed climb the mountain again, but Miz stands at the proverbial peak with case in hand…only for Big Cass to reemerge onto the scene, beating a worn-down Bryan to a pulp and leaving him prey to an opportunistic Miz. Everyone benefits in this scenario; the fans finally get Miz and Bryan kicking off their long-awaited feud with a hot angle coming out of SummerSlam, Cass has a potential feature role as Miz’s heavy, a role tailor-made for someone who’s 7 feet tall and doesn’t need a lot of finesse to beat up his opponents, as well as having Miz, one of WWE’s best modern-day mouthpieces, to build Cass up properly as a monster heel rather than the dismal wall-eyed promos we’ve had to sit through with the 7-footer. Miz himself finally makes it back to the WWE Title picture with a lengthy reign, and Bryan finds himself in a whole-hearted championship program potentially culminating at WrestleMania, rather than be shoehorned in merely because of Punk’s sudden departure and a fear of overwhelming fan upheaval back in 2014, though that can be excused somewhat with the end result more than justifying the means.

Jake Chambers: Constable Baron Corbin – Not really sure what the point of this newly created authority role is supposed to be on the RAW brand. If Constable Corbin isn’t going to be stopping Robin Hood from mugging rich people in carriages or chasing down Dracula in the Romanian countryside, then why not flex his new powers by righting a Money in the Bank related wrong I’m sure that he’s convinced happened last year.

Whether it was the insane length of time it took the referee to start the match, the distraction by John Cena, or WWE Champion Jinder Mahal’s feet being slightly under the ropes on his fluky roll-up win, I’m sure the Constable can easily make an argument for being slotted into this year’s match to make up for a perceived injustice from this situation. So sure, as of right now he’s not “officially” in the match, but isn’t that the point of WWE’s awesome surprises?

6. How excited are you for the WWE MITB PPV?

Ken Hill: 7 out of 10 – Based on the scenarios I’ve given for a chunk of the MITB PPV, I’m feeling cautiously optimistic concerning both the men’s and women’s MITB matches, as well as the Styles-Nakamura Last Man Standing match. Outside of those, though, I sense a middle-of-the-road feeling when it comes to the card, as none of the tag title or women’s title matches have me exactly on the edge of my seat. My big concern is the rumored placement of Reigns-Mahal in the main event, and whether WWE and Vince are truly foolish enough to think that they can pull it off in front of a Chicago crowd that more than likely wouldn’t have a second thought about turning tail and walking out before the main event. The best placement for those two would be in the cool-off spot between the two MITB matches, as setting it as the opener would just create a bad atmosphere for the rest of the show in my mind.

Jake Chambers: o out of 10 – I know what it’s like to be excited for something. I was excited for Avengers Infinity War, I was excited for Season 2 of 13 Reasons Why, I was excited for a new Kanye West album, I was excited for Brain Michael Bendis to write Superman at DC; and that was because the previous output by all of these creators was pretty awesome. For each of those projects, I had varying levels of excitement, some were a 10 and some were a 1, but the key was that I was “excited”. You could say my current excitement level for the new season of Lucha Underground is a 9, and I’m definitely at a 10 for this weekend’s New Japan Dominion show. However, I find it impossible to be excited for the WWE at this point in time. They continue to disappoint, hour-by-hour on TV and month-by-month on PPV. I’m actively dreading how bad I think the Money in the Bank PPV will be. Am I the crazy one, or does the WWE need to start doing something to MAKE us excited. They owe us… now more than ever! These corporate fat cats are gonna be cashing in mad bonus cheques over the next few years after conditioning us to give them our full attention and faux excitement just because they are the most powerful pro-wrestling entertainment company in the world. Since none of that swindler money is gonna get kicked back to their “independent contractors” with raises or health care plans, these rich rulers should pay us (and the wrestlers) all back with something that will actually cost them NOTHING: an exciting PPV. One that will make us all look forward to the next one, and the next one. Instead, all they promise is more of what got them this gross stockpile of wealth: quantity over quality. More superstars! More time! More bullshit, if you ask me. And then, at the height of arrogance, amidst a streak of such horrible content, the WWE holds a “For Your Consideration” event to try and buy their way into an Emmy award for television excellence. Here’s something for you to consider WWE: y’all suck!