411’s ECW on Sci-Fi Report 6.13.06

Remember to sent your feedback on the show to me for this week’s 3R’s!

We see highlights of One Night Stand II as well as the announcement that the title is RVD’s and Cena’s promise to be here tonight.

Let the bodies hit the…FLOOOOOOOOOOR!:

Paul E is out to start the show from the ECW entrance with a black bag.

Styles and Tazz welcome us to the show.

Paul: “It is my honor and privilege to introduce…ROB…VAN…DAM!”

RVD comes out with the WWE Title. They shake.

RVD: “Thank you, and thank you. You all saw it, the other night at ONS I defeated John Cena. And won THIS! Say hello to your new champion, Rob Van Dam. You know, John Cena sad he’d show up here tonight, that’s awesome. I hope he comes here and helps us celebrate. I am so excited to be the champion of the new ECW”

Paul: “That is a great point, but now it is my honor to present you with something special. I now present you with the NEW ECW WORLD TITLE!”

He raises the ECW title high.

RVD: “Honestly, I can’t think of a greater honor for my career than this right here. Obviously I accept and cherish it, and I am keeping the other one too! I can pull it off. Look at it, it spins!”

Edge and Lita make their way to the ring. Paul announces him as the #1 contender for the WWE Title.

Edge: “Paul, I want to thank you for inviting us. Rob, I want to say that no matter what I think of ECW, I respect you. We have a lot in common. We both won and cashed in on the MITB. We broke the glass ceiling and we will tear it down at Vengeance.”

They shake and Edge goes to leave…BUT SPEARS RVD! He mocks RVD and leaves through the crowd. As he leaves CENA APPEARS behind him and they brawl! Edge gets slammed off the announce table and RVD is out to brawl as well! They fight over who gets to beat down Edge and Edge shoves RVD into Cena and then low blows RVD. Cena levels Paul E and then chases after Edge. The ECW locker room empties and attends to Paul.

Back from commercial and Paul is shocked that he would be attacked. Fine, if they want to play like that. If Raw wants to play like that, then they will bring ECW to Raw! This Monday, we will show up and I am not going along. I AM BRINGING ECW! The locker room cheers!

We get some creepy music and a fucking Zombie walks out. I can’t make this up. The crowd is beyond silent. He grabs the mic and grunts, wow…just wow. Thank God Sandman’s new shitty music hits and he appears in the crowd. He does his deal to little reaction and makes his way to the ring.

The Zombie vs. The Sandman

Cane shots to the Zombie. Sandman kills him and gets the White Russian Leg Sweep and pins the Zombie.

Winner: The Sandman via pin @ 0:19

Sandman drinks more beer as we get replays. Then beats the Zombie all the way to the back.

Kelly, some hot blonde chick, explains that she is an exhibitionist. She will strip tonight just for us. I bet she’s a trill.

Back from commercial and we see Tazz squashing Lawler from last Sunday in its entirety.

Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible

Kurt gets about no reaction, wow. Kurt double leg takedowns Credible and then delivers stiff cross face forearms. Angle tries to rip his nose off, but Credible gets the ropes. GERMAN by Angle. Grabs Credible and tosses him to the floor. Back in and Angle with a single leg and slam. Rear mount by Angle and forearm shots. He gets a hammerlock and Credible escapes. Credible slaps him, Angle slaps back and gets a rear choke and body scissors and Credible taps. Back to Target for you.

Winner: Kurt Angle via submission @ 1:55

Kurt on the mic now, and says that no matter what the rules, he will make Orton tap again at Vengeance. You are looking at the face of the new ECW…YEAH~!

Paul says that if you want to learn about extreme he will show us, the plans are gone. I will send out ECW’s best for an EXTREME Battle Royal, and anything goes. All weapons legal, and the winner will face John Cena at Vengeance.

Kelly says she is next to show us her…assets.

Back from commercial and we see a vampire outside the arena. Glorious. We get a recap of the show opening angle.

Kelly comes out and goes to a little stripper set up they have. She is a token blonde, she starts to strip to bra and panties to another crowd milding reaction. She un-straps her bra after some dancing and difficulties but covers herself and walks off. Kimona Wannalaya this wasn’t. Add some water balloons and you have Monday night. If only there was someone to piledrive her the segment would have been ok.

Sabu and Dreamer are announced and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial and more guys get announced.

10-Man “All Weapons Legal” Extreme Battle Royal: Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Danny Doring, Roadkill, Al Snow, Stevie Richards, The FBI (Little Guido, Tony Mamaluke w/Big Guido and Trinity), Balls Mahoney and The Big Show (WINNER FACES JOHN CENA AT VENGEANCE)

Here we go. They all attack Show and he starts to beat down everyone. A bunch of guys go to the floor for weapons as Show gets a fall away slam on Roadkill. We head to a commercial @ 0:42.

Back from commercial @ 4:15 as Big Guido has decided to come into the match. No one is eliminated. Show chops away at Dreamer. Mamaluke nails Snow with a trashcan lid. Doring tries to take out Big Guido as Show nails Al Snow. Show steps on Balls as Sabu sets up a table on the floor. The FBI and Doring attack Show and then Balls nails him with a char shot. Show grabs and tosses Al. Then Doring. Show grabs Stevie, head butts him and then tosses him as well. Roadkill tries to hit Show, but he gets tossed as well. Cobra Clutch slam, kinda on a trashcan by Show and then he tosses him. Dreamer attacks him with a road sign. AIR SABU but Show catches him and slams him down. Show press slams Dreamer through the table on the floor, he’s gone. Mamaluke and Guido attack Show but he tosses then around and then chokeslams Guido onto Mamaluke. He tosses Mamaluke and then tosses Guido. Show, Big Guido and Sabu remain. Show and Guido stand off and exchange rights. Shoe tosses him, but he holds on and Sabu has a chair and gets a triple jump chair shot to Show, and eliminates him.

Sabu will go to Vengeance to face John Cena.

Winner: Sabu @ 9:32

We get replays of the eliminations, big blows and big falls.

They hype Heyman’s planned attack on Raw.

Show ends.

Remember to sent your feedback on the show to me for this week’s 3R’s!

Instant feedback during the show from long time ECW fan, Trent aka The Voodoo Penguin: This is never going to work. You can’t do an ECW show when Cena gets a pop, RVD gets boos and no one has a clue who the Sandman is. One Night Stand 2 was the best PPV I’ve seen in a long time, but this is not working…the Smackdown fans are killing it. This is worse than Impact…and you know I hate Impact…but damn.