411’s Instant Access 02.15.09: WWE No Way Out 2009

Hey kids, I’m Scott, and this is 411’s Instant Access: WWE No Way Out 2009. Instant Access is a new(ish) experiment here at 411 Wrestling that will feature immediate reaction to wrestling pay-per-views. The focus here is going to be on first thoughts and snap judgments instead of play-by-play with the goal of providing you with instant access to one two THREE writers’ thoughts on the show. That’s right, Instant Access will now feature multiple analysts for all WWE pay-per-views. Here’s the team for the No Way Out:

• Scott Slimmer, author of Don’t Think Twice.
• Chris Lansdell, author of A Brace for Impact and If Could Be Serious For A Moment.
• Jeff Small, author of the Tuesday Small-For-All News Report.

Okay kids, enough with the explanations. Let’s get to the wrestling.

WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match
Edge (Champion) vs. Triple H vs. The Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. The Big Show vs. Vladimir Kozlov
Match Result: Triple H defeats the Undertaker with the Pedigree.
Match Length: 36:00
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Holy crap, when was the last time you can remember a WWE Championship match opening a pay-per-view? (Actually, now that I think about it, it was probably No Mercy 2007 with that whole Orton / HHH / Orton nonsense.) But seriously, I was totally expecting the ECW Championship match to open the show, so you can imagine how surprised I was when the Undertaker’s music hit and the Dead Man walked through the curtain. And things only got stranger from there. The fact that this match was opening the show seemed to indicate that it might be rather uneventful… and then Edge got eliminated less than five minutes into the match. The next ten minutes of the show featuring Jeff Hardy, Vladimir Kozlov, and the Big Show dragged considerably, but the situation improved considerably once HHH and then the Undertaker entered the match. And then all kinds of awesome broke loose when HHH and the Undertaker were the last two men in the chamber. Watching the chemistry between those two men made me remember how underrated their match at WrestleMania X-7 was and also reminded me of Taker’s epic encounter with Shawn Michaels at the end of Royal Rumble 2007. Anyway, Triple H is once again the WWE Champion, but we’ve already seen that Edge has 1001 reasons why his loss was a fluke. Look for Edge to whine and complain until he gets a rematch with Triple H at WrestleMania 25. (Editor’s Note: Or just wait two hours until something totally different happens.)
Lansdell: A lot of people will complain about the middle section of this match with Show and Kozlov taking turns in beating up Hardy. While I agree it was slow and annoying, the match was damn near 40 minutes long and you cannot expect all 40 to be balls-to-the-wall action. The start of the match was good, it picked up once HHH got in and then it got fucking amazing for the finish. HHH and Taker rolled back the clock and put on a great display that should silence even the biggest haters. But of course, it won’t. Why? Because HHH won. He SHOULD win, because Orton-HHH is money to headline Mania. Of course, the haters won’t see it that way, but fuck the haters. Damn good match and the ending was greatness.
Small: Raise your hand if you weren’t surprised that the first entrance on the show was going to be the Undertaker’s? I don’t think anyone had pegged this as the opener; rather, most of us believed that this match would close the show. With that said, the match was a mixed bag for me. Edge’s early elimination was shocking but led to a brutally boring ten minute beat down of Jeff Hardy at the ends of Kozlov and the Big Show. You don’t know how much I was cheering for Triple H when he entered since it would end the mediocrity. After Taker entered, the match picked up immensely and the final ten minutes were amazing. Kudos to the WWE for giving the match the entire opening hour! While I would have liked a little more Wrestlemania build, I shouldn’t complain about this damn fine match.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***¾
Lansdell: ****
Small: ***½
Average Match Rating: ***¾

No Holds Barred Match
Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton
Match Result: Randy Orton defeats Shane McMahon with the RKO.
Match Length: 18:15
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I’m kind of torn on this match. It told a good story, and there were some big bumps, but overall it still felt somewhat underwhelming. I think the problem is that we’ve come to expect complete and total insanity whenever Shane McMahon steps into the ring, and this match wasn’t quite up to that lofty level of craziness. Anyway, it looks like Orton has decimated yet another member of the McMahon family, and you have to believe that Stephanie is next on his list. If only she had someone that could be her knight in shining armor…
Lansdell: It started well, it really did, but something about this match just didn’t sit right with me. Shane O Mac should have charged right off the bat, and his fury should have remained unchecked. The monitor shot I think genuinely scrambled Orton a bit and made them scramble to change the plans a little. Still it was goodness. But the finish? After all the beating, an RKO finishes it? I would have bought that if the RKO had landed on the chair, but as it is it kind of made the match fall a little flat. Still, it was good.
Small: And the bizarro booking continues and what I thought would be the semi main event is happening so early. I see what the WWE is doing by not opening with the ECW title match and blowing their load with four big matches, but it’s still funny to watch this happen. While I wasn’t expecting much from this match, I was satisfied with the story told in the ring. Shane rightfully controlled the opening portions of the match (since he was fueled by vengeance) before the numbers game allowed Randy Orton to catch a breather. After a high risk did not work out for Shane (the announce table elbow drop), Orton took over with a few nasty high impact moves (the rope assisted DDT and the superplex through the table). Orton had the match won but opted to try to punt Shane’s head off which led to Shane taking over once again. Funny how Shane made the same mistake; only this time, Orton went for the pin after the RKO. Good story + good action = good mid-card match. (Oh and if you want to complain about Shane getting in too much offense remember that he repeatedly had the upper hand against Kane in 2003 and if you think he survived too much punishment, watch his match against Kurt Angle from 2001. Sure, he’s a Superman, but at least, he’s consistent.)
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***
Lansdell: **¾
Small: ***
Average Match Rating: ***

ECW Championship Match
Jack Swagger (Champion) vs. Finlay
Match Result: Jack Swagger defeats Finlay with the Gutwrench Powerbomb.
Match Length: 7:56
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: It’s completely understandable that the crowd would need to rest a bit after all of the insanity in the first two matches, but it’s also unfortunate when a show is booked in such a way that the fans are conditioned to fall asleep during a solid WRESTLING match. However, Hornswoggle’s unnecessary appearance and the alarmingly weak apron bump that followed only served to justify the crowd’s apathy, so I won’t complain too much. Christian has already positioned himself as the next in line for a shot at the ECW Championship, so it looks like Jack Swagger will have his hands full with Captain Charisma while Finlay fades back into ECW limbo.
Lansdell: Sometimes I really hate live crowds. Finlay and Swagger had a good, old-fashioned mat wrestling match with counters, counters to counters, working on body parts, psychology, selling…and they crapped on it. Swagger is the real deal folks, and all he needs is time to make it to the top. A feud with Christian could be really good, but will the live crowds remember enough about Christian to care? Either way, this match was far better than the crowd would have you think.
Small: This match had no chance of winning over the crowd. After almost one hour of wrestling and two gimmick matches, I don’t think the crowd really cared who won this match; rather, this match was the definition of a piss break. It’s a shame though because the match was solid. At least up until the Hornswoggle interference. I’m not sure who booked the finish, but it was pretty weak. Regardless, with Finlay out of the picture, the WWE can focus on Christian vs. Swagger for Wrestlemania.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: **
Lansdell: ***
Small: **
Average Match Rating: **¼

All or Nothing Match
Shawn Michaels vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield
Match Result: Shawn Michaels defeats John “Bradshaw” Layfield with Sweet Chin Music.
Match Length: 13:30
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Shawn Michaels is more than a professional wrestler. He’s like a freaking force of nature. He can pull a decent match out of anyone. Or so I thought. Until tonight. Because this was the night that Shawn Michaels’ near limitless talent was bested by what is evidently the most powerful force in the universe, that being John “Bradshaw” Layfield’s SUCKITUDE. I appreciate what Layfield brings to the business, and I’ll be the first to admit that he’s gold on the mic and phenomenal as a commentator. But he needs to stay the hell out of the ring. This match was slow and plodding, and that’s just plain alarming given the fact that Shawn Michaels was in the ring. In addition, the finish only made things worse. I mean, shouldn’t Michaels have been disqualified when Rebecca slapped Layfield? Combine dreary in-ring action with a contrived finish, and you have one of the most disappointing matches we’ve seen in quite some time. But even this cloud has a silver lining, because now Michaels is free move on to a feud with the Undertaker, and if everything falls into place and the stars align, then those two might just put on a match for the ages at WrestleMania 25.
Lansdell: How do you know when you should hang it up? When HBK can’t get a good match out of you. HBK, who carried freaking KHALI to a two-plus star match. This was not good at all folks. They tried to go with a story of JBL trying to make Shawn snap and make a mistake, but inexplicably abandoned it. The slap by Rebecca, who REALLY needs to stop bathing in melted Jersey Milk bars, should have been a DQ, which would have been an AWESOME finish and made the story really great. As it is they ignore it and have Shawn win clean, ending the story (probably) and leaving a month and a half to get something for HBK to do at Mania. Edge, maybe?
Small: I’m hoping that since this storyline is officially finished, JBL might seriously think about retiring. The man was never great in the ring, but was able to be carried. Now, I’m not so sure about that. JBL vs. Cena was a nothing match last month while tonight, he might have dragged HBK to his worst match in a long time. While I was a big proponent of this storyline, I’m happy that it was blown off here since this match would have sucked at Wrestlemania.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: *½
Lansdell: **
Small: *
Average Match Rating: *½

World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match
John Cena (Champion) vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kofi Kingston EDGE! vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kane vs. Mike Knox
Match Result: Edge defeats Rey Mysterio with the spear.
Match Length: 29:47
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: There are a few things you have to know about this match. First, this match ruled. It was a great way to close the show. Second, Rey Mysterio was GOLD in this match and was by far the star of the show. Forget that guy over on Smackdown, Rey Mysterio was the MVP of No Way Out. He turned in the single most impressive performance in the history of the Elimination Chamber and even managed to eclipse Rob Van Dam’s spectacular showing in the very first Elimination Chamber Match at Survivor Series 2002. Third, Kane and Mike Knox entered the match third and fourth much like Vladimir Kozlov and the Big Show did in the WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match, but Kane and Knox looked far better than Kozlov and Show. However, most of the credit there should still probably go to Rey Mysterio. Fourth, Cena’s quick elimination, and the way that it mirrored Edge’s quick elimination early in the night, was hella sweet. Fifth, the way that Edge has continually found new and interesting ways to be the “ultimate opportunist” is a thing of beauty. So yeah, this match had all kinds of awesome in it. I heartily approve. Anyway, the most important result of this match would seem to be that the World Heavyweight Championship is once again in the hands of Smackdown, thus giving Smackdown two titles and leaving Raw with a serious lack of gold. Of course, there’s still a guy on the Raw roster that has a contract to face any champion he wants at WrestleMania. I wonder if that could become important…
Lansdell: I didn’t think there was any way I could be shocked any more. I didn’t think this match could measure up to the Smackdown one, despite thinking the opposite coming into the evening. FAIL. Apart from the glaring inconsistency of letting Edge enter himself in the match (which will no doubt be addressed tomorrow night), this match was crazy good. Knox’s domination section was less plodding than the middle part of the SD chamber, and the finish was almost as exciting. Rey really found another gear, and Edge played his part perfectly. The quick elimination of Cena, before he eliminated anyone, was possibly the biggest WTF moment in a long time. It’s hard for me to rate this because Edge should not have been there, but the action was incredible.
Small: With Edge’s inclusion in this chamber, the match placement of this show now makes total sense. I also find it funny how people were complaining that this match would be totally predictable when it definitely wasn’t. And I’m not just talking about Edge’s inclusion. John Cena’s involvement (or should I say, lack of) was extremely surprising. Most, if not everyone, expected him to walk out with the gold so to see him get the monster treatment (get hit with finishers in rapid-fire succession) was a shock. After that, I think we all knew that Edge was going to win this match. Hats off to Rey Mysterio though for allowing us to believe that he had a chance at winning this match. Rey was by far the MVP of the match as he not only dished out a fair share off big spots (his drop hurricarana to Jericho to his chamber assited senton on Kane) but he also took some nasty punishment. For someone who hasn’t been relevant in the main event scene, he definitely showed why he deserves a high profile match at Wrestlemania (perhaps against Chris Jericho). Lastly, unlike the first chamber match, this one did not drag at all and is an early MOTYC.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ****½
Lansdell: ****¼
Small: ****½
Average Match Rating: ****½

Final Thoughts

Match of the Night:
Slimmer: The World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match (****½)
This was by far the match of the night, and right now I’m leaning towards calling it the best Elimination Chamber Match to date. Rey Mysterio put on an absolutely amazing show, and the finish was unexpected, to say the least.
Lansdell: The World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match (****¼)
Everyone bitched at the Raw lineup. Hope they enjoy the crow.
Small: The World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match (****½)
What else can I say about this match? Great opening with Jericho and Mysterio. Both Kane and Mike Knox impressed as monsters (without slowing the match down). Edge’s inclusion and Cena’s quick elimination were huge surprises. And the final part with Mysterio and Edge was damn good. Not Triple H/Undertaker good, but close enough.

Trash of the Night:
Slimmer: Shawn Michaels vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield (*½)
I’m still trying to figure out how all three of us just gave Trash of the Night to a Shawn Michaels match. That just doesn’t seem possible. So congratulation, JBL. Your ineptitude may have just broken the natural order of the universe.
Lansdell: Shawn Michaels vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield (**)
I never thought I’d see the day when a Shawn Michaels match was the worst one on the show. Then again, I never thought I’d see Undertaker jerk the curtain.
Small: Shawn Michaels vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield (*)
It’s crazy to think that Shawn Michaels was involved in the worst match of the night but it’s true. As much as I loved the HBK/JBL storyline, the match did not live up to the hype. This was one of Shawn’s worst matches in a long time and a good example of why JBL might want to hang up his boots.

Final Analysis:
Slimmer: Much like the Royal Rumble, this was anther solid show in which all of the matches came together to tell a larger story. The WWE Championship Match lead right into the World Heavyweight Championship Match, and Randy Orton’s domination of Shane McMahon should set up his quest to bring one of the belts back to Raw. And as long as we all agree to never again speak of the whole HBK / JBL cluster, then we’ll probably remember this as a damn fine show.
Lansdell: God damn, they still got it. Just when you think the internet has ruined any and all chances of being surprised by a wrestling event, they go and pull something like this, swerve after swerve after swerve. And I loved it. Sure entering Edge was a weird thing to happen, but it shocked us. Cena jobbing shocked us. It was just one long shock.
Small: Kudos to the WWE for making No Way Out a relevant show again. Last year’s show was great and this year’s continued that tradition. The Elimination Chamber gimmick definitely strengthened the show and this year’s wildly unpredictable booking helped a ton. For a show that almost seemed too predictable, I’m glad it was anything but that. The results from tonight raise many new questions regarding Wrestlemania (will the show be headlined by Triple H vs. Orton and Edge vs. Cena?). Throw in the fact that a major feud ended and there was a ton of quality

Verdict:
Slimmer: ****
Lansdell: ***¾
Small: ****¼
Average Verdict: ****