411’s Instant Access 12.14.08: WWE Armageddon 2008

Hey kids, I’m Scott, and this is 411’s Instant Access: WWE Armageddon 2008. Instant Access is a new experiment here at 411 Wrestling that will feature immediate reaction to wrestling pay-per-views. The focus here is going to be on first thoughts and snap judgments instead of play-by-play with the goal of providing you with instant access to one TWO writers’ thoughts on the show. That’s right, Instant Access will now feature multiple analysts for all WWE pay-per-views. Here’s the team for Armageddon:

• Scott Slimmer, author of Don’t Think Twice.
• Jeff Small, author of the Tuesday Small-For-All News Report. Tuesdays will never be the same…

Okay kids, enough with the explanations. Let’s get to the wrestling.

Matt Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov
Match Result: Vladimir Kozlov defeats Matt Hardy with a sit-out side slam.
Match Length: 9:08
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I completely understand that some people may have found this match to be a bit plodding, maybe even boring from time to time, but I rather enjoyed it. I continue to enjoy Kozlov’s retro-evil-monster-foreign-heel gimmick, and I still maintain that he’s a much better worker than the vast majority of evil monster foreign heels that we’ve ever seen. Matt Hardy can work well with just about anyone on the roster, and he proved that again tonight. I agree with the decision not to make this an ECW Championship match, but the fact that Kozlov was victorious in this non-title match would seem to imply that he’s now in line for a title shot. The ECW Championship has often been the Monster Title over the course of the last two-and-a-half years (Big Show, Kane, Mark Henry, etc.), so I wouldn’t be surprised to see Kozlov defeat Hardy for the title at some point. And if Hardy were to lose the ECW Championship within the next month or two, that would leave him free to move on to even bigger and better things come WrestleMania 25…
Small: Weird choice for an opener. Kozlov’s style is definitely not opening match friendly as evidenced by his desire for an elongated cross-armbreaker a few minutes in the match. I do believe that either the Belfast Brawl or the IC Finals would have done better justice to start the show. As for the match, it was solid but a tad boring. Kozlov is fundamentally sound but is lacking a few flashy moves to keep the match interesting. I think he’ll adjust to this the more matches he has on the big stage. Hardy’s comebacks were believable even though no one expected him to win the match. And thankfully, Hardy wasn’t made to look bad as Kozlov’s throw into the ring post looked nasty enough.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: **½
Small: **
Average Match Rating: **¼

Finals of the Intercontinental Championship Tournament
CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio
Match Result: CM Punk defeats Rey Mysterio with the Go 2 Sleep.
Match Length: 12:25
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Oh hell yeah. HELL YEAH. Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about. Punk and Mysterio had the potential to put on a great match, and they completely delivered tonight. They combined mat wrestling, submission, high flying, and numerous reversals to produce the best match either man has had in quite some time. Mysterio busted out some SWEET moves (like that swank spinning head scissors into a Fujiwara armbar), and Punk worked a subtly heelish style to take advantage of his size advantage. And just like Punk promised us on Monday night, that brutal Go 2 Sleep that broke Mysterio’s nose was a definite Oh My God! moment. This match gave Punk a ton of momentum heading into his eventual Intercontinental Championship Match with William Regal, and now that Punk and Kofi Kingston have lost the World Tag Team Championships, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he completes the Raw hat-trick with a victory over Regal.
Small: Now this would have been a perfect opener. Great match. While I wouldn’t call it a classic by any means, I would be shocked if it’s not on an upcoming CM Punk or Mysterio DVD in a few years. After a nice feeling out process, both men hit the floor running with counters, a mid-match tribute to Chris Benoit (Rey’s head scissors into a Fujiwara armbar was particularly sweet), and a hot closing segment. Of course, they saved the best for last as that was the best Go to Sleep we’ve seen in the WWE. Bring on Regal vs. Punk at the Royal Rumble.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ****¼
Small: ***¾
Average Match Rating: ****

Shawn Michaels Accepts JBL’s Offer
Slimmer: Extended promos in the middle of a pay-per-view are rarely a good idea. I mean, that’s why we have televised wrestling. I’m usually of the opinion that you can talk all you want on free television, but stick to the wrestling on pay-per-view. Fortunately, the rules are a bit different when it comes to Shawn Michaels. His promos have been on fire this year, and that’s even true for pay-per-view promos. Hell, his retirement promo from SummerSlam may have been may favorite promo of the year (“You go home, you sit your wife and your children down, and you tell them that daddy will NEVER be Shawn Michaels.”). Shawn once again delivered a great promo tonight, and the clearest evidence of that is the fact that he FINALLY got the fans to boo him (or at least his decisions). As Chris Jericho has been pointing out all year, Shawn Michaels has done more than a few things that could be viewed in a negative light. But through it all, the fans have stuck with him and cheered for him, even when he did things that would have turned any other man into a heel. But by accepting JBL’s offer, by choosing financial security over stubborn pride, by choosing money over morality, by selling out, HBK got the fans to boo. However, the real question is whether they’re booing the man or the decision that he made. Because I would wager to say that when HBK does eventually turn on JBL, the fans will once again be ready to cheer for him.
Small: I can’t say I’m a big fan of having a 10 minute promo on PPV when this could have easily been on shown on Raw. With that said, I do like the fact that in a matter of two weeks, JBL has gotten the fans to boo HBK. The “You Sold Out” chant was a nice touch.

Belfast Brawl
Finlay vs. Mark Henry
Match Result: Finlay defeats Mark Henry with a shillelagh shot.
Match Length: 9:44
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I do love nonsensical garbage matches more than most wrestling fans, but even I thought this match dragged from time to time. Seriously, you have to question the quality of any match that actually benefits from midgetference, but that’s exactly what we had here. Watching Mark Henry go ape shit and break every weapon in the ring was mildly amusing, and watching a midget help his daddy get the win always puts a smile on my face, but those were really the only bright spots in an otherwise forgettable match. I also have to question if this match even accomplished anything. It seems as though Matt Hardy and Vladimir Kozlov will be occupying the ECW Championship scene for the foreseeable future, so it looks like Finlay and Henry are more or less stuck in limbo. The only reason for this feud to continue would be because Finlay and Henry have nothing else to do, but unfortunately that may prove to be the case.
Small: And this is why a 10 minute promo has no place on a PPV. The crowd was super-hot by the end of the Rey/Punk match and was beyond bored by the time this match started. Throw in the fact that it’s frickin’ Mark Henry/Finlay and you know the crowd (and I) are going to sleep. The Belfast Brawl stipulation helped out as this match wasn’t nearly as awful as their ECW brawls thanks to a few nice weapons shot. With the clean win for Finlay, I’m hoping this feud is over.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: *½
Small: *½
Average Match Rating: *½

Batista vs. Randy Orton
Match Result: Batista defeats Randy Orton with the Batista Bomb.
Match Length: 16:52
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: This wasn’t quite as good as Batista / Cena from SummerSlam, but it wasn’t that far behind it, either. I really thought that the referee was calling for a disqualification two minutes into the match when Rhodes and Manu got involved, but thankfully he was only ejecting them from ringside. After that I really enjoyed the match, and I didn’t even mind Orton’s liberal use of his trademark rest holds. Seriously, an Orton match just wouldn’t seem complete without a few head locks, and sometimes I think he does it just to piss off the fans even more. This was definitely Orton’s best match since his return, and it was also Batista’s best match since SummerSlam. What’s unclear at this point is where both Batista and Orton go from here. This match didn’t really seem to settle anything between them, and I’d be more than happy to see their feud continue until at least the Royal Rumble. However, given that John Cena has now defeated Chris Jericho two times in a row, it’s also possible that he’ll be looking for a new Number One Contender. And if that is the case, then you’d have to assume the Batista and Orton would both be near the front of the line…
Small: This match was a perfect example of a Randy Orton Special. Good opening – I particularly liked the DQ tease when the Legacy was ejected from ringside. A boring middle section – Orton must have used four different neck vices to wear down Batista. Super hot ending – the final five minutes of the match were great. If only we had a better middle, then this match would have been very good. As it is, it’s just another solid match.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***¾
Small: ***
Average Match Rating: ***½

Eight Divas Santa’s Little Helper Tag Team Match
Mickie James, Michelle McCool, Maria Kanellis & Kelly Kelly vs. Maryse Oullet, Natalya, Victoria & Jillian
Match Result: Michelle McCool defeats Jillian with the Styles Clash.
Match Length: 4:37
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Okay, first things first. You have to love the fact that Michelle McCool was recently told to no longer use the Angel’s Wings (i.e., Christopher Daniels’ finishing move), so now she’s switched to the Styles Clash (i.e., AJ Styles’ finishing move). I can’t wait until she learns the Muscle Buster… Anyway, this match was just about exactly what you’d expect from an eight Diva tag team match. There was nothing excessively sloppy, so I suppose you could say this was even better than expected. And Mickie looked… yummy… Anyway, you had to expect that the smoldering Michelle McCool / Maria animosity would rear its ugly head at some point in the match, and that’s exactly what led to the finish. It looks like Michelle and Maria have more than a bit of unfinished business with each other, but that is really the only lasting impact this match will have. Well, that and the fact that I’ll be dreaming about Mickie all night…
Small: The only surprising thing about this match was finding out that Kelly Kelly is Jewish. Oh and McCool’s new finisher (Styles Clash) looks even more dangerous than her old finisher. As for the Khali Kristmas Kiss Kam, once Mae Young came out, I jizzed in my pants.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: *¼
Small: * for the match (***** for the Khali Kiss Kam)
Average Match Rating: *¼

World Heavyweight Championship Match
John Cena (Champion) vs. Chris Jericho
Match Result: John Cena defeats Chris Jericho with the STFU.
Match Length: 12:50
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I enjoyed this match much more than the match that Cena and Jericho put on back at Survivor Series, and I think a large part of the reason is that this match actually had a proper build. Cena finally got the Cena pop, but that’s probably not a surprise given Buffalo’s proximity to Canada. Cena and Jericho did more mat work that I expected, but I definitely enjoyed it. Oh, and that bulldog from the apron to the ring steps was hella sweet. The match was building quite well, but the finish felt a bit rushed. It just seemed as though Cena found the STFU out of nowhere, but what was really strange was how quickly Jericho tapped once he got caught. At the very least I would have liked to have seen him fight a bit more before tapping. Cena and Jericho have great chemistry with each other, so I wouldn’t mind seeing their feud continue until the Royal Rumble, but I also have to question what that would accomplish given the fact that Cena has now defeated Jericho two times in a row. Batista and Randy Orton have both shown interest in getting title shots, so I’d be surprised if we didn’t see one or both of them enter the title chase sooner rather than later.
Small: Well we knew this match was going to be short seeing as it did not start until after 10PM. After a hot opening, Jericho settled into a few chin locks which was quite surprising at the 3 minute mark. However, that’s because the following 7 minutes were balls to the wall exciting. The match almost felt like an indy exhibition with both men countering and hitting each other’s big moves without any regard for selling. Seeing as this rarely happens in main event matches, I was entertained by it, but hope that’s its not going to become the new main event style. Another five minutes and this match could have hit four stars; as it was, I’d say it’s somewhere between Orton/Batista and Punk/Rey.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***½
Small: ***½
Average Match Rating: ***½

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship
Edge (Champion) vs. Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy
Match Result: Jeff Hardy defeats Edge with the Swanton Bomb.
Match Length: 17:29
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I honestly never thought it would happen. I honestly never thought WWE would take the chance. I honestly never thought that this boyhood dream would come true. But tonight Jeff Hardy became the WWE Champion, and it’s going to take a while for me to wrap my head around it. Anyway, the match itself was exciting from start to finish, and I give them special credit for finding a new (and surprising) way to hit the usual contrived table spot. Hell, I even enjoyed the Dragoference, but I think I’ve made it clear that I may enjoy Vladimir Kozlov more than I really should. I’m glad that Hardy won by pinning the champion, although Edge’s three week title reign does make you wonder if he only won the belt so that Triple H wouldn’t have to do the job for Jeff. The obvious next question is who Jeff will be facing at the Royal Rumble. There’s obviously a case to be made for both Triple H and Edge, but I would guess that the answer may depend heavily on if we find out the true identity of Jeff Hardy’s assailant from three weeks ago. But that’s not the point tonight. The point tonight is that WWE has taken a huge risk by putting their signature championship around the waist of Jeff Hardy, and I for one hope he makes the most of it.
Small: Jeff Hardy: WWE Champion? I can’t believe it. Now I fully expected Hardy to win the Championship at some point, but not this early. Kudos to the surprise finish. As for the match, it was good, but it definitely does not rank with some of the more memorable matches (ex. Benoit/HBK/HHH or even Rock/Taker/Angle). However, overall, the match had some great moments (the spear through the announce table, the Kozlovference, and even the Doomsday Whisper in the Wind), but I feel it was still lacking. Triple H seemed off for most of the match which I think affected the flow between the big spots. Regardless, I’m still in shock at the ending. Who would have ever thought that Jeff Hardy would be our WWE Champion heading into 2009?
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ****
Small: ***¼
Average Match Rating: ***¾

Final Thoughts

Match of the Night:
Slimmer: CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio (****¼)
Both Punk / Mysterio and Edge / Triple H / Jeff Hardy were great matches, but I’m giving the slight edge to Punk / Mysterio for being more of a classic, fundamentally sound one-on-one encounter. Both men were at the top of their game tonight, and the fact that this match served to determine the Number One Contender for the Intercontinental Championship does more to elevate that title than any actual title match this year.
Small: CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio (***¾)
As good as a twelve minute match can be. While a CM Punk/Mysterio feud is not in the cards, I would definitely pay money to see a rematch in the future. As I mentioned in my match review, I can definitely see this match on the next Mytserio DVD or Punk’s first WWE DVD. The fact that this match beat out a solid World Championship match and a shocking WWE Triple Threat match shows how well Punk and Mysterio meshed.

Trash of the Night:
Slimmer: Finlay vs. Mark Henry (*½)
There was nothing horribly wrong with this match, but it just seemed relentlessly pointless. Sure, Mark Henry does get a bit more interesting with fourteen garbage cans in the ring, but there are far better ways to use a man as talented as Finlay than to have him be a punching bag that needs to be saved by a midget. This would have been a dandy little match for a Tuesday night, but it was a waste of time on pay-per-view.
Small:The Eight Divas Santa’s Little Helper Tag Team Match (*¼)
Unnecessary filler. We get it already WWE, Michelle McCool is turning heel. No need to constantly bash us over the head with it. With that said, it did lead to an awesome Khali Kristmas Kiss Kam.

Final Analysis:
Slimmer: Good, solid show. Seven matches, seven clean finishes. That’s some good stuff right there. The only match that really dragged was Finlay / Henry, but all six of the other matches were as good if not better than expected. Heck, I had four of the seven matches above three stars, and two of them were four stars or higher. And maybe what makes me happiest is that there was nothing blatantly stupid or objectionable. No disqualifications, no thirty second matches, no card-subject-to-change surprises. Just five good matches, one filler garbage match, and a match featuring Mickie James looking hella hot. That’s more than enough to make this show worth my money, and more than enough to make this a definite recommendation.
Small: I’m really torn here. After the great Punk/Mysterio match, the show stuttered all the way through the Divas Tag Match (looking back, the Batista/Orton match paled in comparison to the shorter main events). Plus there was a lot of filler on the show – the HBK/JBL segment, a random comedy sketch, Mr. Kennedy promoting his movie, and even the great Khali Kiss Kam. I was going to give props to the show ending at 10:55 but a lot of that had to do with the amount of unnecessary segments. On a positive note, the wrestling was solid throughout the night as four of the seven matches hit the three star mark and the show could not have ended on a higher note. Hardy’s title win makes me recommend watching the show though I might wait until the DVD or even a future Jeff Hardy DVD.

Verdict:
Slimmer: ***½
Small: ***¼
Average Verdict: ***½