411’s Instant PPV Analysis 10.12.08: TNA Bound For Glory

Greetings, humanity! Welcome to 411mania’s Instant PPV Analysis for TNA Bound For Glory! A reminder that the play-by-play report is available here. What we do in the Instant Analysis is talk about the match in general and what the result could mean. Ready? Then here…we…go!

Steel Asylum Match

I was rather looking forward to this, since I missed the Terrordome. No Curry Man Dance made me a sad panda, but JIMMY RAVE~! By the end of the match, I was out of breath. Everyone got a chance to look good, which is important in a match like this, and we got some ridiculous spots. The Steel Asylum looked dangerous with the red paint and thick bars, and the tension with the escape is a lot greater than with a traditional cage match. It was fast, it was athletic, and it got enough time to make everyone look like they wanted it. Having Lethal win makes me wonder if Bashir is retaining after all, since Lethal-Bashir makes more sense than Lethal-Creed. Of course, TNA in the past have let people hold title shots for a while so there’s no guarantee that he’ll use the shot right away.

Winner: Jay Lethal via escape
Rating: ***3/4

Bimbo Brawl – Team Fugly and Rhyno vs Beautiful People (Dat Azz Squared) and Kute Kip

Traci Brooks is the ref for this match, which makes Cook a happy Panda. They ARE saying Reach at the start of Rhaka’s music dammit. Also I think they said she’s from the Isle of Man. Ew.

I could not get into this match at all, but then I wasn’t expecting to. When the pace of your match picks up with Rhyno and Kip in the ring, you’ve got issues. Rhaka and Velvet barely saw any action, which is good, but they scarcely used the hardcore stip and there was really nothing here. It certainly seems like TNA are working to a knockouts tag division by making ODB and Rhaka Khan a team, but they need a LOT more women to make that work. I guess this was nothing more than a way to get ODB and The Beautiful People on the card, but I think I’d rather have left them out…

Winners: Rhyno and Team Fugly via pinfall (Rhyno on Kute Kip, GORE! GORE! GORE!)
Rating: *½

X Division Title Match – Sheik Abdul Bashir vs Consequences Creed (with injured soldier)

Come on, admit it. We ALL thought that Bashir was going to attack Sgt Casara when he came out. Even you TNA marks.

As this match was proceeding, I was wondering how I could give it any more than 2.5 as it was fine but not special. It picked up pace tremendously and I thought Creed had it off the military press gutbuster. The action was just starting to get interesting when they went with the cheap finish and the Bashir win. I guess they feel that leaving the belt no the WWE-ject (who admittedly has been great) is more important than crowning their young star. Lethal v Bashir should provide some interesting matches if they make it a feud, I just hope they keep Suicide away from Bashir. The implications are not pleasant.

Winner: Sheik Abdul Bashir via pinfall (EVIL HEEL cheating rollup)
Rating: **3/4 It would have got more if they’d gone another minute and had a more creative win for Bashir

Knockouts Title Match – Taylor Wilde (C) vs Awesome KONG~! vs Roxxi

What happened to the rest of this match? The Knockouts are over, they do good business, and you give them 6 minutes on PPV while giving Mick Foley’s backstage nonsense and a 6 person match that much time? What we got was decent, Wilde’s weaknesses were covered up well by the format (and the length). I don’t understand the result, we’ve already had a bellyful of Wilde vs Kong and Wilde vs Love so unless they’re going to bring someone in we’re likely to get a rehash of one of those. I can’t really rate this match highly, but it wasn’t awful.

Winner: Taylor Wilde via pinfall (on Roxxi, bridging German suplex)
Rating: **

Monster’s Ball for the TNA Tag Titles – LAX vs Deep Blue vs Beer! Money! (C) vs Team 3D

All is right with the world, as I got to see the GHETTO FORK again. What the fuck was on Mongo’s head though? This is what happens when you cut your own hair while you’re on shrooms, kids.

It was what it was meant to be: violent and the other kind of spotfest from the opener. Morgan showed he’s more than just a giant, displaying some tremendous athleticism. That muffled thud you heard from Connecticut was Vince McMahon kicking himself in the well-buffed ass. What the hell was up with the football shit in the middle though? More important, what was up with Mongo’s counting? There were glaciers moving past his arm! The finish was good, there were some breathtaking spots in the match, but that ridiculous slow count really damaged the impression of the match. I had a good chuckle at Hernandez having knot issues though. I’m glad Beer Money retained, but I don’t know where they should go from here. They probably won’t go to Deep Blue just yet, since they have some business to transact with 3D, which leaves LAX and the Prince Justice Brotherhood.

Winners: Beer! Money! via pinfall (3D through a tack-littered table)
Rating: ***¼ This would have got more if not for the stupid football spot and the slow counts. A shame that the special ref should damage the hard work put forward in the match, but it really hurt my enjoyment and the quality of it.

Christian Cage vs Booka Kinte vs AJ Styles

It’s no secret that I dislike Booker T. However, this match worked well, everything fit together nicely and the finish was great. I don’t think I’ve seen an Unprettier from the ropes before, and although the axe kick after it was impressive I would have preferred the Houston Hangover. AJ had a couple of jaw-dropping spots, but he continues to develop as a great in-ring performer who has shrugged off the spot monkey tag. Christian has learned a lot since coming to TNA. Christian getting pinned by Booker should tilt him towards the young guns but he’ll probably find a way that it was AJ’s fault too so the uncertainty can continue. I think I was expecting more from this match, which is probably unfair but AJ and Cage are capable of more.

Winner: Booker T via pinfall (on Christian Cage, second-rope axe kick)
Rating: ***½

Jeff Jarrett vs Kurt Angle

Despite a slow start, these two delivered a good long bout which was hurt by the ending. If Foley was able to count the 3 shouldn’t he also have been able to disqualify either man for the use of a foreign object? Still, for Jarrett’s first real match in a couple of years he looked good and went 20 minutes, which is hard to do when you’re not rusty. We haven’t seen the last of this feud but unfortunately it looks like Foley may need a match with Angle somewhere down the line as well. I can’t argue with Jarrett winning, having him lose his first match in 2 years would have been a bad idea even if it does mean a loss for the biggest name in the company.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett via pinfall (El Kabong)
Rating: ***

TNA World Title match – Samoa Joe (C) vs Sting

I’ve thought all along that this was a bad choice to main event the biggest PPV of the year. Sting, for all the name recognition he brings, is not a main event performer in the ring in 2008. On a roster with Christian Cage, AJ Styles, Kurt Angle…hell, even Booker T, there were better choices. And then you have him WIN? I can understand that you wanted the belt off Joe, he’s hardly set the world on fire as champion and it may well be time to try something new. I just don’t think Sting qualifies as “new”. The match itself was as good as could be hoped, it was never going to be a spotfest or a counter-filled classic. Joe’s leaping kick in the stands was beautiful, and Sting showed glimpses of his old self. Brief ones. The match did die out with Joe’s stalling and jaw-jacking with the referee towards the end, and once again we couldn’t get a clean finish. Joe’s actions made him look even more like the heel, but it will be very hard to get fans to boo him, especially when he loses due to interference. Considering how long the Nash-Joe angle was built, I expected something more spectacular for the split, not a shot from the outside. Disappointing ending to the PPV all round.

Winner, and NEW TNA World Champion: Sting via pinfall (Scorpion Death Drop after baseball bat shot)
Rating: **¼

Match of the Night: Steel Asylum, but only barely. The Cage-Styles-Booker match was very good, but it lacked something to take it up a level to great. The Monster’s Ball was, as I said, really hurt by Mongo. The Asylum match wasn’t in the great category either, but I enjoyed it more.
Trash of the Night: The Bimbo Brawl. I wanted to give this to Sting-Joe, not because it was a bad match but because it was just one bad decision after another, but in the end they did enough to elevate it above the 6-person affair.

Final Thoughts: TNA had been on a role recently, developing a solid storyline that covered the whole card. Even the midcard people had side stories that you cared about. This PPV was by and large good, but not great. With the exception of the Steel Asylum and the Monster’s Ball, you never really felt like anyone was trying to put on a show like you feel at WrestleMania. This is TNA’s WrestleMania and it lacked that “big match” feel, even for the main event. There were some good matches to watch and a little something for everyone to enjoy, but nothing outstanding like No Mercy had, or like No Surrender had. A slightly-above average outing nonetheless.

Overall Rating: **3/4