411’s LIVE Raw Coverage 08.27.07: Carlito’s Cabana with Vince McMahon!

King Booker vs. John Cena tonight. So that’s what I missed. The sound is once again a little off. Oh, it’s JR’s mic. They show highlights of last night, more specifically the return of Triple H. Triple H returns tonight.

Vince McMahon and Coach are backstage and Coach wants to know what announcement Vince will make but he’ll know later. Kennedy is here and wishes Mr. McMahon a happy belated birthday. Vince points out that his middle name is Kennedy. Vince – “Not a bad kid, walks a little funny.”

Carlito’s Cabana – With Mr. McMahon

Carlito says this is the coolest cabana ever. Vince is here. No Coach, by the way. Vince says it’s a pleasure to be here. Carlito says it’s an honor and happy belated birthday. Vince says he was 50 on Friday and still growing, even his grapefruits. They had to because of the embarrassment over the bastard son ordeal. He says he doesn’t need to be embarrassed because he is Mr. McMahon. Vince says it is time to intimidate the woman who gave birth to his son and he will sue here if she doesn’t reveal the identity of his son within two weeks. Carlito says everybody answers to Mr. McMahon.

Time to play the Game!

Triple H is here complete with jeans/T-shirt and shades. The Game has something, a piece of paper, in his back pocket. Just an observation, not that that’s where I usually observe. Vince tries to shut the crowd up to little effect. Vince says Triple H answers to him. Triple H wonders why he gets this reception from Vince. He understands that they are upset because he’s out here celebrating his 75th birthday and should be worried about whether he is going senile but he has to worry about this bastard son. Never fear, because Triple HG is here. While he was gone, he had plenty of down time to do some research. He searched high and low and found all these women that could be the women and narrowed it down to 4 women. They will solve his dilemma and are here tonight. He understands he hasn’t seen this women for 25 years so he will help him out. The first one, he slept with at WrestleMania 3 and he had thought it was Aretha Fraklyn. Mary is a fat black chick. The next one he was intimate with for some time, one-eyed Wendy who has a patch over her eye. Carlito says he missed the target once or twice. Trips says he hit a hole in one. Vince poked her in the eye. Trips says this next one will be embarrassing too – it’s Carlito’s sister! A chick with a massive ‘fro and an apple. Vince tells Carlito he was only 4 years old and they thought he was asleep. Triple H says there’s nothing to be ashamed of as everyone has been with is sister. Trips – “What gives? She’s not spitting.” He brings out the last one – Frank. Frank has a mic – “what up Vincey, how you doin’? There’s a “Frank” chant. Please raise your hand if you have had intimate relations with McMahon and raise your hand if you had a child that could be Vince’s son. Raise your hand if you have a penis. Frank raises her hand. That’s not cool. Vince says he’ll kick everyone of them in the baby-maker.

Triple H wanted to do something nice and he’s disappointed. He should be worried about his new problems that have surfaced today. He goes to leave but Vince calls him back. He says they all know and not to deny it. He says he’s running a rooster fighting ring. Carlito says that is legal in Puerto Rico. Trips says Vince loves animals. He hates cats and dogs but Vince says he loves them. Trips says he hates roosters and cock. Vince says he loves co-. Awkward silence. Vince wishes Triple H had never come back and says he hates him. Vince leaves. Carlito threatens to put The Game out for another 8 months. Trips knows he’s upset but he doesn’t have to kiss ass. He knows he can spit apple but he also sucks a few grapefruits. Carlito takes a bite of his apple but The Game gets in his face, daring him. He does it. Triple H is smiling and nails Carlito. Spinebuster! SUCK IT! PEDIGREE! Trips takes a seat and kicks back.