wrestling / TV Reports
411’s TNA Impact Report 8.30.07
TNA Impact Begins…NOW!
-Highlights from last week are shown.
-New random announce chick is with Team Pacman. Killings says he is making a good example for Pacman. They said it was charity when he spray painted EY last week, he charges for that sort of thing.
-Tenay and West welcome us to the show and hype the main event.
-Angle is in his locker room with all of the pictures of his possible partners. Nash says they don’t hate him, because hating him is like hating the American Flag. They laugh about Angle being charitable and Karen promises to take care of everything this week. She is such a whore, I approve. Angle hopes she doesn’t talk to Joe.
-Team 3D comes to the ring to battle The Motor City Machine Guns. But Scott Steiner comes out to the ring and tells them to leave. They do and Scott hits the ring and 3D just lays the boots to him. Scott fights back with a dual clothesline and XPLODER on Ray. Belly to belly on Devon. Scott goes for a table now and slides it in. Overhead belly to belly on Ray! Devon back in and levels Scott. 3D on Scott! Ray gets the mic and calls him a loser and does another fake apology. They are sorry they almost destroyed Rick last week. Ray holds a chair on his throat and Devon SLAMS THE CHAIR with another and they crush his trachea again! Refs, security and EMT’s are out. Ray grabs the bell from the timekeeper and chases them away. Devon beats down security and they toss Scott back into the ring. They set the table in the corner, Ray sits up top, Devon grabs up Scott and he eats a SUPERBOMB like Rick did. 3D stands tall.
-Back from commercial and we see EMT’s taking out Scott on a stretcher.
-The Motor City Machine Guns are back out to the ring and Shelley says TNA needs heroes, so give them a match so they can bump up ratings. VKM makes their way out.
Kip is still raiding Torrie Wilson’s wardrobe. They toss Sabin and beat down Shelley. Kip chokes him out, off the ropes and Shelley and Sabin get a flatliner/missile dropkick combo. They work the double teams on BG, Shelley and Kip battle on the floor and Kip slams him to the railing. Kip gets the cobra clutch slam on Sabin. BVG covers and that is all. The Fuck?
Winner: VKM @ 1:20 via pin
-Kip calls out a worthy tag team to face them. LAX makes their way out to the ring. XXX is on the ramp as well and Sharky and Eric Young? Everyone hits the ring and they all brawl!
-To the back with JB and Karen Angle. JB says it is a bad idea to talk with Joe, she says Samoan’s have short memories. She goes into his locker room and Joe says she better not be standing in his locker room. He should be doing bad things to her, she should have brought a swat team. Walk out or make it quick. Karen asks how long the war will go on? She says they three of them together could run TNA, they are the most powerful forces in wrestling today. He says she has good points and tells her to close the door and they will talk. He admits she is right, and he wants to be Kurt’s partner. Joe wants her to be there when he takes Angle apart piece by piece. He will lay Angle’s broken body at her feet and it will be all her fault. He says to tell Kurt he will see him soon.
-Back from commercial and JB is with the Coalition. Karen Angle come sin and Cage says the strip club is down the street. AJ says to calm down because she is a lady and she rubs his chest. She says she will help him won tonight and he becomes a champion again. He asks what is in it for him, and she says a title shot. He refuses to bite and says the only liar bigger than her is him. Cage says it will come down to AJ and Cage tonight and the best man will win. Tomko has his IWGP title again. AJ asks if the deal is for him as well and says he isn’t stupid. He clarifies the deal and Karen says all he has to do it win and she kisses him. AJ says she wants him and asks JB not to tell Kurt.
-Tenay and West hype No Surrender and all of Angle’s title matches. Roode will take on Kazarian and we see more of James Storm on the pub-crawl. He gets kicked out of another bar. Call 1-888-Have-a-Beer if you have seen Rhino!
-Joe has FIRE DANCERS again!
-We see Karen talking to Sting about a deal. Sting says if she is concerned about the kids that she should change her dress!
-Angle and wide make their way out to watch the match.
They all brawl at the bell. Joe beats down Cage and AJ and Sting battle. AJ with rights, then attacks Joe. He and Cage double-team Joe, and then AJ lays out Sting again. Joe fights back and AJ is back to help out Cage. They toss Joe to the floor, Sting battles back and is double teamed again. They work him over with rights, off the ropes and Sting clotheslines them both. Sting tosses AJ to the floor and then dropkicks Cage. Double leg and a scorpion deathlock try but Cage gets the ropes. Boots by Cage, chops and an Irish whip, reversal and a boot and bulldog by Sting. AJ pulls Sting to the floor and Joe is in the ring, Kokina Clutch on Cage! AJ in to make the save. They double-team Joe, he fights back with jabs and clotheslines Cage. Irish whip and the back elbow and then enziguri to AJ! Face wash to Cage, boot to AJ and he slides AJ to the nuts of Cage! SICK back suplex by Joe on AJ gets 2. To the corner, AJ set up top and Cage stops a muscle buster. Asai DDT by AJ onto Joe! Double cross body by Sting onto AJ and Cage! We head to a commercial @ 4:15.
Back from commercial @ 7:15 and Sting and Joe were cleaning house. Joe catapults Sting into AJ and then gets a snap powerslam for a close 2. Jabs to Sting, off the ropes and Joe misses an elbow, Stinger splash misses and Joe up top, grabs Sting and Sting gets a suplerplex! AJ in and covers Sting for 2. Cage covers Joe for 2 and AJ breaks it up! They argue and AJ grabs a small package for a close 2. They exchange pinning combos and Cage with a backslide for 2. Boot by Cage, chops to AJ and he chokes him out. Irish whip and a boot by AJ, up top and leaps over Cage, clash try now and Sting breaks that up, PELE to Sting! Joe and AJ clothesline each other. Cage up top… FROG SPLASH MISSES~! Angle looks amazed. They all make it to their feet, Sting tosses Cage to the floor. AJ tosses Sting and then Joe tosses him. SUIDICE ROLLING DIVE BY JOE TAKES OUT ALL FOUR~! We head to a commercial @ 11:30.
Back from commercial @ 16:05 with Cage, AJ and Sting in the ring. Cage in control and during the commercial got an unprettier on Joe on the floor. Double suplex on Sting by Cage and AJ, Cage chokes him out then distracts the ref and AJ chokes Sting. They lay the boots to Sting, but he battles back. Chops to both, Irish whip and a Stinger splash to AJ. Cage goes for the unprettier, countered into the death drop on Cage for 2 as AJ makes the save. AJ picks up Cage and tells him to get a chair. Cage does and Joe grabs it from him and they brawl on the floor. They start to battle to the back and AJ takes off the turnbuckle pad. Tomko is out and BIG BOOT to Sting! AJ covers for 2! AJ is pissed and goes for a springboard, caught, double legged and into the scorpion death lock and gets it! AJ taps!
Winner: Sting @ 19:36 via pin
-Angle and wife head into the ring. He and Sting stare down and Karen grabs a tag title and hands it to Sting. Angle offers his hand and Sting shakes. Karen raises their hands and we have officially new tag team champions.
-The Angles leave as Sting celebrates. TEAM PACMAN is out and Killings beats down Sting. Pacman has his spray can and he “autographs” Sting’s back. Angle is back and clears the ring of Team Pacman.
-We get the closing video package.
WWE SUMMERSLAM Podcast~!
We are back for the latest Tremendous Tirades Podcast Adventure! We run down WWE Summerslam, a bad show riddled with mediocrity, delivering nothing interesting and burying (BERRIED) talent along the way. From there we move onto DEAR CHRISTI, where we discuss status of THE SHIRT, JD Dunn’s special proposal, Christi’s Favorite Female Wrestlers, Shoot Interviews and who exactly listens to our show. About an hour of fun just for you!
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